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-   -   Rasberrybubble’s sorrow (https://warriorcatsonline.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12367)

Mango November 14th, 2017 11:30 AM

Rasberrybubble’s sorrow
 
“ Are you sure you wish to hear this story. It’s not a happy-ending story...Oh alright. I’ll tell it.” she licked her paw, “ I was only a moon old when my sorrow begain. My mother when I was sleeping snuck out. I never saw her again. I don’t know if she’s alive or dead, probably dead at this point in time as she’s...hmm....yeah, she’s 90 moons at this rate. I was only a moon old. My brother, he was Lizardkit then, and my father were heartbroken as was I. But we soon focused on the bright side. Apprenticehood, warriorhood, you name it. Then my father took a new mate named Peacockfeather. She had kits and was willing to let us be her adoptive kits. I didn’t mind her. Then everything changed again when I was 3 moons old. Peacockfeather told us rather harshly, that my father was killed by a fox, their was his scent and a foxes. However, they couldn’t find his body. I believed he was alived, just lost...silly me...” she gave a sad chuckle “ I became an apprentice alongside Lizardpaw...then I dared him to climb the tree next to the thunderpath. He was doing fine at first. Then lost his footing...he fell onto the thunderpath. If their hadn’t been a monster coming, I probably could have got him back to camp, but I failed a monster ran him over. He was dead. Just like that. I was shocked and griefstriken. A moon before my warrior ceremony my mentor drowned in the river. Starclan knows why they tried to swim or if someone pulled them into the river. I had no one. I was alone in the world. I acted insane to stop myself from grieving-“

”What do you mean by ‘acting insane’...”
“What do I mean by acting insane? Well I never groomed my fur...I’m sure my fur had ticks and fleas. I rolled in the mud randomly. I screamed and kicked when I was complimented. It often scared cats. I also sometimes spoke nonsense saying phrases like shegrdf shtrsdf shtsethsftd or jorojf jhogvje htrdoigbf. Which made no sense. I felt less grief striken. I became a warrior under the name of Rasberrybubble. Because when I was tired and not able to force myself to be insane, I was bubbly and friendly. I hardly was happy, I was numbed from joy. I stood vile and then went on dawn patrol to not let myself think of my lost loved ones. That’s when that darn tom entered my life. He was kind and helped me loose my grief. I feel in love with him and hardly thought of my parents, brother, or mentor. We had two kits. Then when I had just given birth I was alerted that he had been badly wounded in a battle. Terrified that I’d cause him to die...as I had believed I caused the other deaths I ran to his den screaming that he needed to say we are nothing and that he dislikes me, but he refused. He died that night. I blamed myself. I raised his two kits...They reached apprenticehood. You assume I loved them right?”

“Why wouldn’t you love your kits. They’d remind you of your mate. You bore them yourself who wouldn’t love them!”

“ I didn’t allow myself to love them. I wanted to by Starclan I wanted to. But I believed I had caused 5 deaths. My mother’s, my father’s, my brother’s, my mentor’s and my mate’s death. They became apprentices before fighting a fox. One of them died. I blamed myself for growing onto them. I shunned myself from my other kit. Then I recieved an apprentice, Cherrypaw. I cared for her, she ran away from the clan. I blamed myself for her. Then along came my next apprentice, Cherrypaw the second. She was a killer and died. I blamed myself once again. I soon took a she-cat mate, though she got greencough and died just after we adopted a kit...Eclipsekit. I feared the worst for my two remaining children. Ofcourse. I recieved an apprentice named Newtpaw. I assumed I’d cause their death.”
“Poor thing.”


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