Warrior Cats Online - I need some advice (Poem)

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I need some advice

Ok, so I'm writing poems for each of my friends, and I just finished one for one of my friends. I call her 'Rain Child' because she hates the rain. Anyway, I'd like some advice on this poem:

Rain Child

Check the time,
Where did it all go?
Time doesn’t exist,
When hanging out with you

Laughing,
You never mind my dirty jokes
And my light-hearted teasing is fine here
Especially when talking about your crush

Remember when we were walking to the bus,
Out in the rain that you hate
And I gave you the nickname,
Rain Child?

Well, here we are, Rain Child
With a friendship that can weather any storm
That comes our way

Re: I need some advice (Poem)

@The Mad Katter (clever)
I don’t now know if you still want advice on this or not but here goes.

I like it and I know poetry has many different rules for writing and it allows the poet to experiment with many different forms and styles of speech. As I was reading I can normally make a rhythm fit but I don’t know if it’s just my brain at 8:00 in the morning or what but I can’t seem to find one. Also, when it says “With a friendship that can weather any storm...” I’m not sure if you used the wrong “weather” or if you were making a pun or something but it should be “whether” (unless you were making a pun, then very clever!)

Sincerly,
ScarredSecrets~