Rating Your OCs
DO NOT QUOTE THIS Thanks to @TheNyanCatMinecart for letting me do this as they created the first one! Hey! Ever wondered what other people think of your OC? Well you've come to the right place! I'll be rating your OC in ten different categories that will all add up to be ??/100 points! Read all the Rules CAREFULLY. Also, if you do not pay me, I will ignore your post. Form Name -- Gender -- Clans/Affiliations -- Ranks -- Personality -- Age -- Appearance -- Backstory -- Immediate Family -- Mate and Kits -- Mention me! @Wings |
Re: Rating Your OCs
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Re: Rating Your OCs
this is just a duplicate of the other form but ^^ enjoy!! Name: Chanterellekit | Chanterellepaw | Cedarfoot her name was changed as a warrior, her current leader deeming her birth name too extravagant Chanterelle: Orange-gold variety of mushroom Cedar: Her gingery pelt Foot: Her speed and ability to convince cats with the wave of a paw Gender: Cis female Clans/Affiliations: Windclan, born and raised Ranks: Kit | Apprentice | Warrior | Starclan member currently planning an untimely death for her, but I haven't settled on it Age: Apprentice (6 moons) | Fox attack (8 moons) | Full recovery (12 moons) | Warrior ( 15 moons) | Aprrentice's death (17 moons) | Death (40-60 moons) Appearance: Cedarfoot is an exceptionally tall young molly, towering over average-sized cats and meeting eye-to-eye with several large tomcats with large breed dna. Though, tall, she possesses a rather slim and muscular physique. Her fur is primarily a red sand color (simplified: orange), short in length and soft in texture. Her fur does not have the sheen of a Riverclan cat's yet she takes care of it well. Her pelt is marked with a slightly darker spotted tabby pattern, often hidden by the movement of her body. She is a bicolor, sporting white that lines her undereyes, covers her nose, and travels up the middle right of her face to about the top of her eye. Her left eye is also rimmed by white, the tip of her tail and jugular region also covered. The molly's eyes are a dazzling blue, ranging from a more stormy inner iris to a clear sky blue at the edges. Cedarfoot's left thigh is not covered with hair at all, a large panel of scar tissue covering her flank. She also has several claw-like scars radiating from her large central scar. She walks with a slight limp due to nerve damage in her thigh. Personality: Gossiper| Charming | Fun loving | Sharp-tongued | Lucky (except in the cases of foxes) | Conniving | Headstrong | Afraid to feel | Serial flirt Backstory: Immediate Family: Biological father: Heronthroat, a russet colored Devon Rex tom with a bright white patch on his throat. Yellow eyes. Biological mother: Goldenshine, a beautiful creamy golden tabby with stunning blue eyes. Biological sister: Monarchwing, ginger tabby molly with wide yellow eyes, mostly devon rex. Mate and Kits: None, not currently looking to settle down I look forward to you ripping her to pieces! @Wings |
Re: Rating Your OCs
Goosefury is a currently living OC. No details of his death will be provided, as it has not been planned and will likely not happen for quite a while.
Name:: Duck | Goosepaw | Goosefury Duck was his loner name before he joined RiverClan. According to BILL., the prefix Goose- was chosen because of Goosefury's general territorialness against ShadowClan, which is similar to a goose's overall demeanor. -fury was chosen as a suffix because of the way he fought against ShadowClan in RiverClan's most recent raid against ShadowClan. Gender:: Cis-male Clans/Affiliations:: Loner | RiverClan Ranks:: Loner | Apprentice | Warrior Age:: 0-6 moons, Loner | 6-10 moons, Apprentice | 10-present, Warrior. Currently he is 13 moons old. Although some of his training was done at a normal, moderate pace, Goosefury sped through the final half much faster than normal apprentices. This is why he became a warrior so young. Appearance:: Goosefury is a very small, light grey cat with white on his chin, muzzle, throat, chest, and the insides of his legs and the bottoms of his paws, and a pink nose. His fur is very short, yet soft to the touch. He is incredibly scarred, most of his injuries resulting from the attack against the coyotes and the recent raid against ShadowClan. He is missing his right eye - the remaining one being a pale greenish-yellow. He has two small scars above his left eye, two small ones on his right cheek, one on his upper lip, several over his shoulders and upper back, three on his chest, a bite scar on his left leg, a long gash on his left side, and three small faded scars on his left shoulder. His left ear is also ripped. His facial scarring, missing eye, chest scars and the ones on his back are a result of the raid, where he was brutally attacked by three ShadowClan cats and had to rely on Sootclaw for help. The scars on his side and left foreleg, and his ripped ear, come from the coyote attack. His shoulder scars are from when he was a loner and driven out of his home. His current ref sheet can be found here. Personality:: Goosefury values his own strength and power above all else. When he interacts with others, he is often kind, well-mannered and harsh. His actions often take after his emotions, turning fiery and impulsive. He sees the world in a very pessimistic light. He is creative, intense, cruel, curious, and resentful. Goosefury is of average intelligence, which reflects in his decisions, skills and conversations. He tends to avoid eye contact with others because of his scar. If he manages to hold eye contact with another cat, they are likely very special to him. Goosefury is usually in favour of violent solutions if the problem is ShadowClan, but he will often go for more peaceful ways out when pertaining to other Clans or loners. Goosefury is very insecure in himself. He grew up practically alone after his mother died and his father left, so he has a good sense of survival skills, because he basically raised himself. He is a very talented hunter and is very observant and aware of his surroundings. Despite living in RiverClan, he is afraid of water and drowning after witnessing Sparkheart's death. Since meeting up with Fawnsqueak to gather feathers for WindClan, he's taken up a hobby for collecting them. Goosefury is always on the defensive, especially for those around them - if he perceives a cat as angry or snappish he will leap to his friend's defense and gladly rip the other a new one. Traits:: Kind, Well-mannered, Impulsive, Creative, Intense, Curious, Cruel, Resentful, Insecure, Observant, Defensive Backstory:: Immediate Family:: Mother- Amber: a dark tabby she-cat with short, thick fur and dark orange eyes. Deceased.; Father- Reginald: small yet muscular pale gray tom with green eyes. Status currently unknown; Siblings- He had no brothers or sisters. Mate and Kits:: He considers himself too young to think about taking a mate or having children ------------------- @Wings, copying this over from Nyan's thread <3 100KK has been sent, have fun! |
Re: Rating Your OCs
The edits are for mistakes.
Form Name Leaf | Leafpaw | Leafclaw | Leaf | Trap | Leaf | Leafwind | Leafstar | Trap Gender She-cat Clans/Affiliations Rogue | WindClan | Rogue | Kittypet | Rogue | ShadowClan | Rogue | Place of No Stars Ranks Kit | Rogue | Warrior Apprentice | Warrior | Rogue | Kittypet | Rogue | Apprentice | Senior Warrior | Leader | Place of No Stars Resident Age Kithood-Rogue: 0-6 moons; Rogue-Apprentice of WindClan: 7-30 moons; Apprentice to Warrior of WindClan: 31-37 moons; Warrior to Rogue: 38-46 moons; Rogue to Kittypet: 30-31 moons; Kittypet to Rogue: 31-32 moons; Rogue to Apprentice of ShadowClan: 33-119 moons; App to Senior: 120-125 moons; Senior to Leader: 126-150 moons; Leader to Death: 151-160 moons Appearance She's tiny, a head smaller than normal; the size of an apprentice. Her ears are long, enough to definitely be noticeable but not so much that it's freakish. Her tail is a stub, long enough so that she can "flick" it in a bit of a direction that wouldn't be noticeable from a distance. So, stubby, but she can move it slightly. Her claws are freakishly long and also freakishly sharp, longer than her paws, and the tiniest bit crooked/uneven. This is because her sheathes are angled upward to even fit the claws in. It burns to sheath and unsheathe them, but she's gotten mostly used to this. She is toothy, meaning that she has more teeth than normal, but not enough to be a pain. Two of her teeth, the ones on the bottom right outside of her bottom front teeth, curl up and out from her mouth. Their sharp tips are very close to touching her upper lip but don't. They are also cleaner than the rest of her teeth due to them being less exposed to things that would cause plaque. Her fur was meant to be sleek; however, she's kept it so that it's matted and messy. It looks like it's flattened to her body, though, giving it an almost sleek-like appearance which can sometimes shine if in bright, direct sunlight. The ear tufts are tufts of fur that encircle the tips of the ears and stretch about two extra ear-tip-lengths high. They are sleek but still a bit tufty. The nose fur is a triangular tuft of fur with rounded edges. It's centered over her nose and right over her muzzle as well so that it pokes up right in between her eyes, reaching three-quarters of the way up for comparison (but not touching that area). It sticks out slightly. Then there's the neck tuft, which is a tuft of fur that covers the front of the neck and most of the front of the chest. It's thick and tufty, sticking outward, but a bit thinner than the average neck tuft. Finally, her fur is extremely thick but has gotten a tad bit thinner with age. Around her right eye, her fur is a bit uneven, sticking up a bit more due to it hiding scars. Medium; average fur and a normal weight. She is light brown with her neck tuft, nose fur, ear tufts, and the tip - or most of the upper half - of her stub tail is this light yellowish color, a bit creamy and hinted slightly with green. However, it's not enough to be weird, but the greenish part is noticeable. She is missing her left eye; there is just the stuff behind the eye that is left. Since it was bitten out, there is a set of small, short, skinny tooth marks in the form of scars that lead down to there. They are covered up by the thick fur, though. She has a scar on the bridge of her nose and a crescent-shaped scar on her left shoulder. On her left side, she has one long scar that stretches across three-quarters of her hindquarter; on each side of it is about an eighth of the hindquarter. She has a smaller scar that is on her side, centered in between the shoulder and the hindquarter. It is small and right in the center of her side; if it was tripled in size, then it would reach across her body. The third small scar on that side is a small scar close to her hindquarter that is short and close to her belly. It starts right next to the bottom part of her thigh and angles downward slightly, just barely touching her stomach. On the right side, she has a long scar that is close to her shoulder, angled upward so that it stretched almost vertically, but doesn't touch her back or stomach. Her other long scar is one that stars right in between the shoulder and the hindquarter before stretching across to the hindquarter. The final small scar is one on the edge of the hindquarter and it stretches across a fourth of it. She was captured by Twolegs once but never became a kittypet. However, she did end up being fixed (meaning that she can't have kits) and it's a bit harder for her to get sick as well. She also got a gene passed down from both parents where she ages slowly - obviously, she's not immortal, but she just doesn't show her age until later in her life. Personality When she was younger, Trap was a cat who held interests in many things. She was always curious and excited, but this didn't last for very long during her kithood due to Night's abuse. This made her quiet and a bit more nervous to speak her mind, although she was always eager for his stories about the Clans. When she was around the age of an apprentice, resentment for her father definitely set in as long as determination to be the best hunter and fighter that she was. After her mother left, Trap decided that maybe she was better off alone. Due to this, she started to resent weakness and get more and more rage-filled until she finally killed her father and took over the territory. This is what got her her first taste of power and she wanted to keep it. To her, the weak were weak and the strong could only be worthy if they didn't whine or complain over things like life or other stupid matters such as kin. That shifted once she met Navy and Flame, but after their deaths, she learned what it was like to feel revenge. She closed herself off but would be interested if somebody came and offered something in her own best interests. So, she was an ambivert. Despising the weak, Trap was rather violent yet cunning, definitely holding both brains and brawns, but enough so that she could get cocky... perhaps too cocky... about her abilities. ("Brawns" autocorrected to beans by Grammarly, I can't. XD) Otherwise, she is strategic and cunning yet resentful, perhaps a bit narcissistic, always preferring herself over others. Backstory A bit of background on her parents. Her mother was a kittypet named Citrus who was separated from her family but visited them from time to time. Her owner mysteriously died, causing her to run away and learn to survive in the wild. Her father's name was Night, the product of a ShadowClan she-cat and a ThunderClan father. He had two sisters who died after birth and got exiled from ShadowClan for murder of the deputy. He was the deputy himself. So, he went to live in the barn and earned a reputation for being fierce. He happened to run into Citrus, who begged him for hospitality. He reluctantly agreed and she became his mate to bear his kits so that he would have successors over the barn territory. Leaf was the only one of the litter, given that name because she looked a bit like a leaf and it was also to represent that she was small and weak. Her mother was weak and her father was abusive, causing her to dislike him. He'd always ridicule her for her small size and was so angry when he found out that Citrus had been partly fixed - but the Twoleg hadn't done a good job at it, so Leaf had been born, but nobody else could be. Sometimes, though, her father would sit her down and talk about the Clans and his hatred for them. When she was six moons old, Leaf and Citrus were kicked out to live in the forest nearby. There, Citrus taught her daughter the ways of hunting, fighting, and surviving in the wild. Leaf was much better at it than she was. Then, at twelve moons, Citrus left to become a kittypet again. Leaf was all alone now and she desperately wanted revenge on her father. When he was out in the barn territory, Leaf attacked him. She gave him a nasty scar and she gained two herself, one on her shoulder and the other on her muzzle, but was chased away. The next night, she and Night fought again. Leaf won, killing her father, and showed all of the other rogues and loners what she had done. They became scared of her and she protected her territory fiercely. Some time passed and Leaf was going hunting when she bumped into a WindClan patrol. They were led by Mumbleclaw, an arrogant warrior, and the whole patrol attacked her. Leaf just barely managed to escape them and the encounter left her with scars on her sides. Angrily, she wanted revenge on the Clans and that dumb Mumbleclaw, but didn't know how to get it. Then she met Navy and Flame, two other cats with tormented pasts due to the Clan cats. She teamed up with them and the group of three went to WindClan. Leaf led them then, begging Juniperstar to let them in. Reluctantly, the leader agreed and the three cats had to become apprentices before they were able to get their warrior names. Even though she was viewed with suspicion, Leafclaw worked her way in WindClan and some of the cats grew grudging respect for the ex-rogue. Then, one day, the deputy fell ill and Leafclaw knew that it was her time to strike. She talked to Navyscar and Flametail about it and they agreed: they were going to kill Juniperstar and take it from there. Juniperstar did lose a life from their attack, but he still had one more left. So, they were exiled and chased out. Leaf got split up from her friends and accidentally ran too close to a Twolegplace, where she got captured and named Trap by the Twolegs. Trap managed to escape and became Leaf again, swiftly heading back to her territory - but she also wanted to know what had happened to them. To her horror, she found out that WindClan had chased Flame into a Thunderpath and Navy into a badger's den. Although no bodies were found, it was clear that they had both died there. Leaf swore vengeance on the Clans and remembered Mumbleclaw, the one who had started it all. Back then, WindClan owned a small strip of forest taken from ThunderClan and the WindClan warrior happened to be hunting there. Leaf was able to uproot a weak, dead tree, which fell on him and broke his spine. She later learned that infection had killed him. Going back to her territory, she discovered that it had been mostly overrun. It took some time, but she was able to chase the rogues out. For many years, Leaf lived there, wanting the Clans to forget about her so she could make her next move. And finally... she had her chance. A troublesome ShadowClan apprentice named Branchpaw kept coming to the barn to steal prey and meet up with another loner named Night - unrelated to her father, of course. Nobody knew about her now except maybe the eldest of the elders. She began causing bits of havoc around the Clans, keeping a low profile. She shoved a WindClan apprentice into the gorge, but unfortunately, a RiverClan patrol rescued him before too much damage had been done. She clawed up the four Great Oaks and attacked a ThunderClan patrol, leaving one of their warriors, Foxtail, dead from infection later on. Finally, she terrorized some nearby kittypets. ShadowClan's leader was a weak-hearted she-cat named Ebonystar. Leaf knew that she could get into the Clan even though that apprentice, Slatepaw, had spread the news about her. So, she got Branchpaw out alone and asked to join ShadowClan. The naive apprentice took her there and Ebonystar hesitantly accepted. The other cats were not happy. She became a temporary apprentice, earning the name of Leafwind, and given Deerleg - the leader's younger brother - as a mentor. She hated Deerleg, but luckily, she powered through training and didn't need him anymore. Now it was time to stir up some trouble. WindClan and ThunderClan at the Gathering were angry that Ebonystar had taken her in, causing war between them. Then Leaf attempted to murder Deerleg, and although she did succeed, one of her eyes was lost. That didn't matter; Ebonystar believed her claim about foxes. More and more time passed and Leafwind began to feel her age a bit. It didn't help that she had fresh rivalries with some of the younger cats, like Tigerblaze and a bit with Owlfur and Needleclaw. They were mainly suspicious, yet she hated Tigerblaze with a burning passion. Then that's when all of her hard work from earlier began to pay off. A queen and two of her kits got deathly ill with greencough and they needed some from ThunderClan. However, they would not provide them with it due to rivalries and the queen and kits died. WindClan attacked ShadowClan, leaving with two deaths: one of the deputy and the other with the leader's second-to-last life. Leafwind rejoiced in this. And that's when the time came. ThunderClan attacked ShadowClan, killing off their eldest medicine cat and the leader. The new deputy, Hailpelt, was too weak to travel to the Moonstone and ended up dying. With the young and inexperienced medicine cat, Bluestripe, getting a misinterpreted sign, Leafwind rose up to her spot as leader, getting her ultimate goal in the master plan of destruction. She did go to the Moonstone. She had never believed in dead ancestors, but when she went to get her lives, they did not come. Instead, Leafwind found herself in a shadowy place with ghostly figures chanting her new name. Leafstar... Leafstar... And she took it, getting a fresh belief. The medicine cat was unnerved. Leafstar chose her apprentice, Batwing, as her deputy and led the Clan for a bit, getting them to trust her. Then she set in motion a plot that would change lives and leave scars. ShadowClan was no longer that anymore. They were a group of rogues. They couldn't have Clan names and cats who retaliated would be exiled. More rogues who were on Leafstar's side joined her, outnumbering those who would try to rebel. And then she decided to name herself Trap because she didn't like her old name. It symbolized weakness, not strength. In an attack on ThunderClan, Trap was pleased with herself for doing things so well. She was able to chase out a ThunderClan cat before going nose-to-nose with Owl. Owl, who had renamed herself Owlfur, challenged her right as Needleclaw came back with the living cats who Trap had tormented. They had her surrounded, but Trap attacked Owlfur and they fought. She left Owlfur with wounds that would scar, but in the end, her rival won. Trap bled out right there. Her trial for StarClan hardly took any time at all. She was instantly banished to the Place of No Stars, where her father resided. Now, as daughter and father, reunited in the wickedest of ways, they plan more destruction on Owlstar and the newly-rebuilt ShadowClan. Immediate Family Mother: Citrus. She is a huge cat, about a head and a half larger than normal. She has a bit of plumpness, but not a lot, as well as a long tail and ears, the same length as Trap's. Her pelt is thick and glossy. She has a base coat of white, huge paws, and her ears, muzzle, paws, and tail are a darkened orange color. Around those areas is a yellow color like a lemon's coloring. Her eyes are round and mismatched: her right eye is blue and the other is green. She has been partly fixed, meaning that she wasn't supposed to have kits but the procedure didn't work. She also carries the gene of having a longer lifespan. Her father's name is Night. He is massive, two heads larger than normal, with hard muscles and massive paws. His fur is extremely thick and a bit smooth, as long as having freakishly long and freakishly sharp claws. His teeth are fairly long and his fur is a pure night-black, almost seeming darker than black, and his eyes are amber. However, if he ducks into shadows, they turn into a red color (this is a real thing that can happen in cats; it's a trick of the eye). Under his chin and across his throat is a long pink scar, separating the fur near it. He carries the gene of a longer lifespan. Mate and Kits She never had an official mate, but while in a Clan, she took a cat named Russetpelt as one to convince them that she had a place there. He is an average-sized cat with semi-long ears - so not as long as hers - and small paws. His fur is slicked down and the tip of his tail is bent at an awkward angle, although it's not broken. His pelt is an orangey russet color, and his eyes are sky-blue. As for kits, she has none, mainly because she got fixed. Either way, she was never interested in that type of stuff. Mention me! @Wings |
Re: Rating Your OCs
Name
-- Blizzardkit Blizzard was given by Sugarapple because of how white his fur was like a white out Gender -- tom Clans/Affiliations -- Loner|Riverclan Was born Loner, but was found by Riverclan Ranks -- Loner 0-3 moons old|Kit 0-7 moons old He was extremely troublesome as a kit so he was a kit for a long time Age -- 7 moons old (current) Appearance -- big fluffy white maine coon with blue eyes. Personality -- Blizzardkit is rather loud an obnoxious. He’s always yowling about something and picking fights with his clanmates about he littlest things. Due to being an older kit, he often begs apprentices to teach him cool battle moves. He’s quite dumb considering the time Berrypaw tricked him into believing that sitting duck was a battle move. He has a high pain tolerance, which will be useful for being an apprentice. He never thinks before he speaks. He is cocky and overly confident. Backstory -- As a loner kit named Air, his mother was overprotective and chewed his food for him, and didn’t teach him to groom his own fur or anything. One day he wandered maybe 10 feet away from his mother’s den while she was hunting into Riverclan territory and a patrol found him and took him to Riverclan. He was taught by Stormpaw, formerly Stormkit how to groom his pelt and eat food normally. However, he got into a bickering fight with Frozenpaw and got his apprentice ceremony pushed back, then a couple days later he got into a fight with Coralkit getting more on Lionstar’s bad side. One time Berrypaw taught him to a few battle moves, but also told him he had to do pain tolerance exercises such as running into camp wall, rolling in stinging nettle, and rolling on a thorn to learn the moves. Aside from learning two useful battle moves, but also was taught the sitting duck. Immediate Family -- Adoptive mother Sugarapple, Adoptive father Bumblebelly, Biological family unknown, littermates basically all of the Hive family. Mate and Kits -- N/A Mention me! @Wings |
Re: Rating Your OCs
I'm gonna give this a go!
Name: Wrenwing (Wren- his pelt colors resemble that of a wren. Wing- how quick and agile he is) past names: Wrenkit, Wrenpaw Gender: male Clans/affiliations: windclan Ranks: kit, apprentice, warrior Age: 6 moons (apprentice) | 12.5 moons (warrior) | 26 moons (coyote attack) | 37 moons (current age) | 98 moons (death) Appearance: he is a large, long furred dilute tabico with dark green eyes. He has small paws and broad shoulders, and he has multiple scars from the coyote attack on windclan, the most visible of which are the ones on the bridge of his nose and claw marks on the back of his neck. He has a square face with wide set eyes, and he has thick chest fur and a slim tail. Personality: Wrenwing is very quiet, and he tends to speak in a soft voice. He is quite impatient, and tend to snap at others quite easily when provoked, though he is working on his slight temper. He had most of his temper problems as an apprentice and young warrior, and he has mellowed out with age. He may be large, but he is not that physically storing, and he prefers to fight with his brain rather than with brute force. He has a good head on his shoulders, and is more intelligent than the average cat, though he is hesitant to share his knowledge with others, as he is scared of making a mistake. He is a bit of a perfectionist, and is very picky with how well he does different tasks. To be completely honest, he isn't the easiest cat to start a conversation with, but when you get him talking, it's hard to get him to stop. Backstory: Wrenwing had a pretty average kithood, and nothing that tragic happened to him. When he became an apprentice, though, he got into a bit of an accident with a border patrol from shadowclan. The shadowclan patrol and the other cats from the patrol he was in got into a fight when one of his clanmates accidentally stepped over the border. He refused to fight, as he saw it unnecessary and pointless, and Twilightstar ended up delaying his warrior ceremony because she saw the action as him being disloyal. He worked as hard as he could to prove that his clan meant everything to him, and became a warrior half a moon later than most do. When The coyotes attacked windclan camp and eventually drove out the clan, he fought against them, and ended up gaining quite a few scars from the large canines. He recently got his first apprentice, and is hoping to be able to train seedpaw as best as he can. Immediate family: his mother was sunstripe, a yellow tabby she-cat with bright green eyes, and his father was patchfur, a bulky calico tom with soft, amber eyes. Mates and kits: he is currently looking for a mate, but he does not want kits that much right now, though he might in the future. @Wings |
Re: Rating Your OCs
@Mayflower this is just a duplicate of the other form but ^^ enjoy!! Although Chanterelle is extremely odd for a warrior cat's name, it is very creative and I like her warrior name. Her suffix's meaning is very original so, 10/10. Name: Chanterellekit | Chanterellepaw | Cedarfoot her name was changed as a warrior, her current leader deeming her birth name too extravagant Chanterelle: Orange-gold variety of mushroom Cedar: Her gingery pelt Foot: Her speed and ability to convince cats with the wave of a paw Nice nice, we always need those cats who know who they are 10/10 Gender: Cis female WindClan always needed more cats before Twilight's leadership and she would of been there through everything so 10/10 Clans/Affiliations: Windclan, born and raised Untimely deaths are always good for character development too! 9/10 Ranks: Kit | Apprentice | Warrior | Starclan member currently planning an untimely death for her, but I haven't settled on it I like it how she has many different milestones in her life, it's also very good for character development. 10/10 Age: Apprentice (6 moons) | Fox attack (8 moons) | Full recovery (12 moons) | Warrior ( 15 moons) | Aprrentice's death (17 moons) | Death (40-60 moons) Even though she is a ginger cat, it's good that she has original markings such as the white ring around one of her eyes. 9/10 Appearance: Cedarfoot is an exceptionally tall young molly, towering over average-sized cats and meeting eye-to-eye with several large tomcats with large breed dna. Though, tall, she possesses a rather slim and muscular physique. Her fur is primarily a red sand color (simplified: orange), short in length and soft in texture. Her fur does not have the sheen of a Riverclan cat's yet she takes care of it well. Her pelt is marked with a slightly darker spotted tabby pattern, often hidden by the movement of her body. She is a bicolor, sporting white that lines her undereyes, covers her nose, and travels up the middle right of her face to about the top of her eye. Her left eye is also rimmed by white, the tip of her tail and jugular region also covered. The molly's eyes are a dazzling blue, ranging from a more stormy inner iris to a clear sky blue at the edges. Cedarfoot's left thigh is not covered with hair at all, a large panel of scar tissue covering her flank. She also has several claw-like scars radiating from her large central scar. She walks with a slight limp due to nerve damage in her thigh. This is a very interesting Personality! You don't see these combinations very much! 10/10 Personality: Gossiper| Charming | Fun loving | Sharp-tongued | Lucky (except in the cases of foxes) | Conniving | Headstrong | Afraid to feel | Serial flirt Alright, this was an amazing backstory! Lots of difining moments plus the PTSD of the fox! I love it! 10/10 Backstory: Good good 10/10 Immediate Family: Biological father: Heronthroat, a russet colored Devon Rex tom with a bright white patch on his throat. Yellow eyes. Biological mother: Goldenshine, a beautiful creamy golden tabby with stunning blue eyes. Biological sister: Monarchwing, ginger tabby molly with wide yellow eyes, mostly devon rex. Makes sense 10/10 Mate and Kits: None, not currently looking to settle down HA you thought! Cedar got: 98/100 She's a very well developed character and had her small PTSD which is something you usually don't see in a lot of OCs! I look forward to you ripping her to pieces! |
Re: Rating Your OCs
@Slushie Goosefury is a currently living OC. No details of his death will be provided, as it has not been planned and will likely not happen for quite a while. I love the way his prefix was chosen. It makes so much sense! 10/10 Name:: Duck | Goosepaw | Goosefury Duck was his loner name before he joined RiverClan. According to BILL., the prefix Goose- was chosen because of Goosefury's general territorialness against ShadowClan, which is similar to a goose's overall demeanor. -fury was chosen as a suffix because of the way he fought against ShadowClan in RiverClan's most recent raid against ShadowClan. Very good 10/10 Gender:: Cis-male Always good to have that loner blood for character development 10/10 Clans/Affiliations:: Loner | RiverClan Makes sense 10/10 Ranks:: Loner | Apprentice | Warrior Makes sense 10/10 Age:: 0-6 moons, Loner | 6-10 moons, Apprentice | 10-present, Warrior. Currently he is 13 moons old. Although some of his training was done at a normal, moderate pace, Goosefury sped through the final half much faster than normal apprentices. This is why he became a warrior so young. Although you see many grey with white underbellied cats, the missing eye is one of a kind! And the great thing is that it has a backstory! 10/10 Appearance:: Goosefury is a very small, light grey cat with white on his chin, muzzle, throat, chest, and the insides of his legs and the bottoms of his paws, and a pink nose. His fur is very short, yet soft to the touch. He is incredibly scarred, most of his injuries resulting from the attack against the coyotes and the recent raid against ShadowClan. He is missing his right eye - the remaining one being a pale greenish-yellow. He has two small scars above his left eye, two small ones on his right cheek, one on his upper lip, several over his shoulders and upper back, three on his chest, a bite scar on his left leg, a long gash on his left side, and three small faded scars on his left shoulder. His left ear is also ripped. His facial scarring, missing eye, chest scars and the ones on his back are a result of the raid, where he was brutally attacked by three ShadowClan cats and had to rely on Sootclaw for help. The scars on his side and left foreleg, and his ripped ear, come from the coyote attack. His shoulder scars are from when he was a loner and driven out of his home. His current ref sheet can be found here. A very well developed personality! 10/10 Personality:: Goosefury values his own strength and power above all else. When he interacts with others, he is often kind, well-mannered and harsh. His actions often take after his emotions, turning fiery and impulsive. He sees the world in a very pessimistic light. He is creative, intense, cruel, curious, and resentful. Goosefury is of average intelligence, which reflects in his decisions, skills and conversations. He tends to avoid eye contact with others because of his scar. If he manages to hold eye contact with another cat, they are likely very special to him. Goosefury is usually in favour of violent solutions if the problem is ShadowClan, but he will often go for more peaceful ways out when pertaining to other Clans or loners. Goosefury is very insecure in himself. He grew up practically alone after his mother died and his father left, so he has a good sense of survival skills, because he basically raised himself. He is a very talented hunter and is very observant and aware of his surroundings. Despite living in RiverClan, he is afraid of water and drowning after witnessing Sparkheart's death. Since meeting up with Fawnsqueak to gather feathers for WindClan, he's taken up a hobby for collecting them. Goosefury is always on the defensive, especially for those around them - if he perceives a cat as angry or snappish he will leap to his friend's defense and gladly rip the other a new one. Traits:: Kind, Well-mannered, Impulsive, Creative, Intense, Curious, Cruel, Resentful, Insecure, Observant, Defensive Very well developed! Love the PTSD too! 10/10 Backstory:: Good good 10/10 Immediate Family:: Mother- Amber: a dark tabby she-cat with short, thick fur and dark orange eyes. Deceased.; Father- Reginald: small yet muscular pale gray tom with green eyes. Status currently unknown; Siblings- He had no brothers or sisters. Makes sense 10/10 Mate and Kits:: He considers himself too young to think about taking a mate or having children Goosey is an amazing character with realisitc flaws and PTSD. Final Score:: 100/100 Also, I was thinking, maybe at like some sort of fight, Russet taking a death blow cause I want him to be reincarnated into one of Shimmering and Russet's kits if they even have kits :3 |
Re: Rating Your OCs
@thenyancatminecart The edits are for mistakes. Form Lot of development! 10/10 Name Leaf | Leafpaw | Leafclaw | Leaf | Trap | Leaf | Leafwind | Leafstar | Trap I'm assuming she' FTM from the history? 5/10 Gender She-cat Makes sense 10/10 Clans/Affiliations Rogue | WindClan | Rogue | Kittypet | Rogue | ShadowClan | Rogue | Place of No Stars Good 10/10 Ranks Kit | Rogue | Warrior Apprentice | Warrior | Rogue | Kittypet | Rogue | Apprentice | Senior Warrior | Leader | Place of No Stars Resident Lot of development! 10/10 Age Kithood-Rogue: 0-6 moons; Rogue-Apprentice of WindClan: 7-30 moons; Apprentice to Warrior of WindClan: 31-37 moons; Warrior to Rogue: 38-46 moons; Rogue to Kittypet: 30-31 moons; Kittypet to Rogue: 31-32 moons; Rogue to Apprentice of ShadowClan: 33-119 moons; App to Senior: 120-125 moons; Senior to Leader: 126-150 moons; Leader to Death: 151-160 moons Very original! 10/10 Appearance She's tiny, a head smaller than normal; the size of an apprentice. Her ears are long, enough to definitely be noticeable but not so much that it's freakish. Her tail is a stub, long enough so that she can "flick" it in a bit of a direction that wouldn't be noticeable from a distance. So, stubby, but she can move it slightly. Her claws are freakishly long and also freakishly sharp, longer than her paws, and the tiniest bit crooked/uneven. This is because her sheathes are angled upward to even fit the claws in. It burns to sheath and unsheathe them, but she's gotten mostly used to this. She is toothy, meaning that she has more teeth than normal, but not enough to be a pain. Two of her teeth, the ones on the bottom right outside of her bottom front teeth, curl up and out from her mouth. Their sharp tips are very close to touching her upper lip but don't. They are also cleaner than the rest of her teeth due to them being less exposed to things that would cause plaque. Her fur was meant to be sleek; however, she's kept it so that it's matted and messy. It looks like it's flattened to her body, though, giving it an almost sleek-like appearance which can sometimes shine if in bright, direct sunlight. The ear tufts are tufts of fur that encircle the tips of the ears and stretch about two extra ear-tip-lengths high. They are sleek but still a bit tufty. The nose fur is a triangular tuft of fur with rounded edges. It's centered over her nose and right over her muzzle as well so that it pokes up right in between her eyes, reaching three-quarters of the way up for comparison (but not touching that area). It sticks out slightly. Then there's the neck tuft, which is a tuft of fur that covers the front of the neck and most of the front of the chest. It's thick and tufty, sticking outward, but a bit thinner than the average neck tuft. Finally, her fur is extremely thick but has gotten a tad bit thinner with age. Around her right eye, her fur is a bit uneven, sticking up a bit more due to it hiding scars. Medium; average fur and a normal weight. She is light brown with her neck tuft, nose fur, ear tufts, and the tip - or most of the upper half - of her stub tail is this light yellowish color, a bit creamy and hinted slightly with green. However, it's not enough to be weird, but the greenish part is noticeable. She is missing her left eye; there is just the stuff behind the eye that is left. Since it was bitten out, there is a set of small, short, skinny tooth marks in the form of scars that lead down to there. They are covered up by the thick fur, though. She has a scar on the bridge of her nose and a crescent-shaped scar on her left shoulder. On her left side, she has one long scar that stretches across three-quarters of her hindquarter; on each side of it is about an eighth of the hindquarter. She has a smaller scar that is on her side, centered in between the shoulder and the hindquarter. It is small and right in the center of her side; if it was tripled in size, then it would reach across her body. The third small scar on that side is a small scar close to her hindquarter that is short and close to her belly. It starts right next to the bottom part of her thigh and angles downward slightly, just barely touching her stomach. On the right side, she has a long scar that is close to her shoulder, angled upward so that it stretched almost vertically, but doesn't touch her back or stomach. Her other long scar is one that stars right in between the shoulder and the hindquarter before stretching across to the hindquarter. The final small scar is one on the edge of the hindquarter and it stretches across a fourth of it. She was captured by Twolegs once but never became a kittypet. However, she did end up being fixed (meaning that she can't have kits) and it's a bit harder for her to get sick as well. She also got a gene passed down from both parents where she ages slowly - obviously, she's not immortal, but she just doesn't show her age until later in her life. It's good that she had changing in her personality as she grew! 10/10 Personality When she was younger, Trap was a cat who held interests in many things. She was always curious and excited, but this didn't last for very long during her kithood due to Night's abuse. This made her quiet and a bit more nervous to speak her mind, although she was always eager for his stories about the Clans. When she was around the age of an apprentice, resentment for her father definitely set in as long as determination to be the best hunter and fighter that she was. After her mother left, Trap decided that maybe she was better off alone. Due to this, she started to resent weakness and get more and more rage-filled until she finally killed her father and took over the territory. This is what got her her first taste of power and she wanted to keep it. To her, the weak were weak and the strong could only be worthy if they didn't whine or complain over things like life or other stupid matters such as kin. That shifted once she met Navy and Flame, but after their deaths, she learned what it was like to feel revenge. She closed herself off but would be interested if somebody came and offered something in her own best interests. So, she was an ambivert. Despising the weak, Trap was rather violent yet cunning, definitely holding both brains and brawns, but enough so that she could get cocky... perhaps too cocky... about her abilities. ("Brawns" autocorrected to beans by Grammarly, I can't. XD) Otherwise, she is strategic and cunning yet resentful, perhaps a bit narcissistic, always preferring herself over others. TON of development! I'm assuming again that she was FTM bc you called her a he in the first paragraph - 10/10 Backstory A bit of background on her parents. Her mother was a kittypet named Citrus who was separated from her family but visited them from time to time. Her owner mysteriously died, causing her to run away and learn to survive in the wild. Her father's name was Night, the product of a ShadowClan she-cat and a ThunderClan father. He had two sisters who died after birth and got exiled from ShadowClan for murder of the deputy. He was the deputy himself. So, he went to live in the barn and earned a reputation for being fierce. He happened to run into Citrus, who begged him for hospitality. He reluctantly agreed and she became his mate to bear his kits so that he would have successors over the barn territory. Leaf was the only one of the litter, given that name because she looked a bit like a leaf and it was also to represent that she was small and weak. Her mother was weak and her father was abusive, causing her to dislike him. He'd always ridicule her for her small size and was so angry when he found out that Citrus had been partly fixed - but the Twoleg hadn't done a good job at it, so Leaf had been born, but nobody else could be. Sometimes, though, her father would sit her down and talk about the Clans and his hatred for them. When she was six moons old, Leaf and Citrus were kicked out to live in the forest nearby. There, Citrus taught her daughter the ways of hunting, fighting, and surviving in the wild. Leaf was much better at it than she was. Then, at twelve moons, Citrus left to become a kittypet again. Leaf was all alone now and she desperately wanted revenge on her father. When he was out in the barn territory, Leaf attacked him. She gave him a nasty scar and she gained two herself, one on her shoulder and the other on her muzzle, but was chased away. The next night, she and Night fought again. Leaf won, killing her father, and showed all of the other rogues and loners what she had done. They became scared of her and she protected her territory fiercely. Some time passed and Leaf was going hunting when she bumped into a WindClan patrol. They were led by Mumbleclaw, an arrogant warrior, and the whole patrol attacked her. Leaf just barely managed to escape them and the encounter left her with scars on her sides. Angrily, she wanted revenge on the Clans and that dumb Mumbleclaw, but didn't know how to get it. Then she met Navy and Flame, two other cats with tormented pasts due to the Clan cats. She teamed up with them and the group of three went to WindClan. Leaf led them then, begging Juniperstar to let them in. Reluctantly, the leader agreed and the three cats had to become apprentices before they were able to get their warrior names. Even though she was viewed with suspicion, Leafclaw worked her way in WindClan and some of the cats grew grudging respect for the ex-rogue. Then, one day, the deputy fell ill and Leafclaw knew that it was her time to strike. She talked to Navyscar and Flametail about it and they agreed: they were going to kill Juniperstar and take it from there. Juniperstar did lose a life from their attack, but he still had one more left. So, they were exiled and chased out. Leaf got split up from her friends and accidentally ran too close to a Twolegplace, where she got captured and named Trap by the Twolegs. Trap managed to escape and became Leaf again, swiftly heading back to her territory - but she also wanted to know what had happened to them. To her horror, she found out that WindClan had chased Flame into a Thunderpath and Navy into a badger's den. Although no bodies were found, it was clear that they had both died there. Leaf swore vengeance on the Clans and remembered Mumbleclaw, the one who had started it all. Back then, WindClan owned a small strip of forest taken from ThunderClan and the WindClan warrior happened to be hunting there. Leaf was able to uproot a weak, dead tree, which fell on him and broke his spine. She later learned that infection had killed him. Going back to her territory, she discovered that it had been mostly overrun. It took some time, but she was able to chase the rogues out. For many years, Leaf lived there, wanting the Clans to forget about her so she could make her next move. And finally... she had her chance. A troublesome ShadowClan apprentice named Branchpaw kept coming to the barn to steal prey and meet up with another loner named Night - unrelated to her father, of course. Nobody knew about her now except maybe the eldest of the elders. She began causing bits of havoc around the Clans, keeping a low profile. She shoved a WindClan apprentice into the gorge, but unfortunately, a RiverClan patrol rescued him before too much damage had been done. She clawed up the four Great Oaks and attacked a ThunderClan patrol, leaving one of their warriors, Foxtail, dead from infection later on. Finally, she terrorized some nearby kittypets. ShadowClan's leader was a weak-hearted she-cat named Ebonystar. Leaf knew that she could get into the Clan even though that apprentice, Slatepaw, had spread the news about her. So, she got Branchpaw out alone and asked to join ShadowClan. The naive apprentice took her there and Ebonystar hesitantly accepted. The other cats were not happy. She became a temporary apprentice, earning the name of Leafwind, and given Deerleg - the leader's younger brother - as a mentor. She hated Deerleg, but luckily, she powered through training and didn't need him anymore. Now it was time to stir up some trouble. WindClan and ThunderClan at the Gathering were angry that Ebonystar had taken her in, causing war between them. Then Leaf attempted to murder Deerleg, and although she did succeed, one of her eyes was lost. That didn't matter; Ebonystar believed her claim about foxes. More and more time passed and Leafwind began to feel her age a bit. It didn't help that she had fresh rivalries with some of the younger cats, like Tigerblaze and a bit with Owlfur and Needleclaw. They were mainly suspicious, yet she hated Tigerblaze with a burning passion. Then that's when all of her hard work from earlier began to pay off. A queen and two of her kits got deathly ill with greencough and they needed some from ThunderClan. However, they would not provide them with it due to rivalries and the queen and kits died. WindClan attacked ShadowClan, leaving with two deaths: one of the deputy and the other with the leader's second-to-last life. Leafwind rejoiced in this. And that's when the time came. ThunderClan attacked ShadowClan, killing off their eldest medicine cat and the leader. The new deputy, Hailpelt, was too weak to travel to the Moonstone and ended up dying. With the young and inexperienced medicine cat, Bluestripe, getting a misinterpreted sign, Leafwind rose up to her spot as leader, getting her ultimate goal in the master plan of destruction. She did go to the Moonstone. She had never believed in dead ancestors, but when she went to get her lives, they did not come. Instead, Leafwind found herself in a shadowy place with ghostly figures chanting her new name. Leafstar... Leafstar... And she took it, getting a fresh belief. The medicine cat was unnerved. Leafstar chose her apprentice, Batwing, as her deputy and led the Clan for a bit, getting them to trust her. Then she set in motion a plot that would change lives and leave scars. ShadowClan was no longer that anymore. They were a group of rogues. They couldn't have Clan names and cats who retaliated would be exiled. More rogues who were on Leafstar's side joined her, outnumbering those who would try to rebel. And then she decided to name herself Trap because she didn't like her old name. It symbolized weakness, not strength. In an attack on ThunderClan, Trap was pleased with herself for doing things so well. She was able to chase out a ThunderClan cat before going nose-to-nose with Owl. Owl, who had renamed herself Owlfur, challenged her right as Needleclaw came back with the living cats who Trap had tormented. They had her surrounded, but Trap attacked Owlfur and they fought. She left Owlfur with wounds that would scar, but in the end, her rival won. Trap bled out right there. Her trial for StarClan hardly took any time at all. She was instantly banished to the Place of No Stars, where her father resided. Now, as daughter and father, reunited in the wickedest of ways, they plan more destruction on Owlstar and the newly-rebuilt ShadowClan. A very interesting family! 10/10 Immediate Family Mother: Citrus. She is a huge cat, about a head and a half larger than normal. She has a bit of plumpness, but not a lot, as well as a long tail and ears, the same length as Trap's. Her pelt is thick and glossy. She has a base coat of white, huge paws, and her ears, muzzle, paws, and tail are a darkened orange color. Around those areas is a yellow color like a lemon's coloring. Her eyes are round and mismatched: her right eye is blue and the other is green. She has been partly fixed, meaning that she wasn't supposed to have kits but the procedure didn't work. She also carries the gene of having a longer lifespan. Her father's name is Night. He is massive, two heads larger than normal, with hard muscles and massive paws. His fur is extremely thick and a bit smooth, as long as having freakishly long and freakishly sharp claws. His teeth are fairly long and his fur is a pure night-black, almost seeming darker than black, and his eyes are amber. However, if he ducks into shadows, they turn into a red color (this is a real thing that can happen in cats; it's a trick of the eye). Under his chin and across his throat is a long pink scar, separating the fur near it. He carries the gene of a longer lifespan. Mk, very interesting 8/10 Mate and Kits She never had an official mate, but while in a Clan, she took a cat named Russetpelt as one to convince them that she had a place there. He is an average-sized cat with semi-long ears - so not as long as hers - and small paws. His fur is slicked down and the tip of his tail is bent at an awkward angle, although it's not broken. His pelt is an orangey russet color, and his eyes are sky-blue. As for kits, she has none, mainly because she got fixed. Either way, she was never interested in that type of stuff. Over all, Trap is a very interesting character with a very original backstory! Final Score:: 93/100 |
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