[zBlaze]

 

Originally Posted by alec

(doctor mink is sadly no psychologist. @blxze. )

minkpaw had sensed the discomfort in goldfish, odd movement and a sort of restlessness as he paws had ghosted along her bloated stomach, but she hadnt expected a reaction this negative. she had expected goldfish to be uncomfortable with minkpaw touching her stomach, uncomfortable to be so out in the open with her problems, all eyes on her, but not this direct, deeply negative reaction. she remained quiet at first, almost sure the cats surrounding her could hear her brain working, before she was able to catch herself again, switching back to serious from the utter shock that had turned her mind into mush and made foggy uncertainty cover her vision.
"its okay, you dont have to be a queen" she spoke, words overlapping with jayfrosts briefly as she shifted the lavender closer to the pregnant molly to have her inhale its scent and hopefully calm down a bit. "you dont have to a queen. but i need you to calm down a bit so we can think about a solution, okay?"

jayfrost shifted to press closer to goldfishs side, tabbied tail curling to wrap around his friend comfortingly, and no matter how awkward and overwhelmed he felt with goldfishs reaction, none of these emotions seemed to reach the level of minkpaws blank, awkward stare. the apprentices tense silence near deafening amongst goldfishs upset voice, jayfrost had decided it was his responsibility to coax the situation away from supercritical and more towards wont-make-apprentice-freeze-up.
"hey its fine goldfish, its fine, youre not alone" he muttered, briefly unaware of minkpaw repeating more or less the same thing he said but adding "yeah, uh you dont have to look after the kits i can do it" when he caught up with what she had said. the realisation of what he had just offered and what thatd mean for him only sank in a few seconds later, but even so, he wouldnt take it back.

(wehhh this is so bad)

CW: Sensitive topics of abuse and murderder

Goldfish had never shaken her black-and-yellow head firmer. What? Of course she'd look after her own kits! That... that was the scary part. Cormorantcrash had been a good mom before Silverkit died. A really good mom. But after she'd frozen to death? No more nice mother.

And she had a mind to say so. Had a mind to tell them everything she and Spotty had been through. Abuse. Neglect. Disowning. Ignorance. AND HER FRIGGIN' STOMACH HURT! Starclan, this was making her moods lose control. It was kiiiiiind of hard to focus when off and on threats of nausea dance around your head. Very, very hard, actually. Goldfish set a firm, rigid stare on Minkpaw. I'm looking after theses friggin' kits. Sorry, sorry, that sounded harsh. She apologized immediately. Too harsh. It sounded mean.

When me and Spottedstream were kittos, our mother was perfect for a while. Absolutely wonderful. she said the last part bitterly, the thirst of forgiveness unquenched. She couldn't forgive her. Not for what she'd done. All it took what's Silverkit dying, and Bam! Abused us. Neglected us. Murdered Sunrise and Moonfall right in front of us. Our adopted parents. Right in front of children. She was seething with fury. Beneath the fury, though, was anxiety. Betrayal. The pang of loss. The anger melted away fast as lightning. I... don't want to end up like that. I don't want to snap at the death of a kit. I don't want the kits
To Feel
My
Pain.

There. She said it. The deed was done. She turned to Jayfrost after a moment and said quietly, in the usual Goldfish manner, I'm not sitting still in the nursery all day. That's obvious. I'll combust. But jokes aside... help would be appreciated. If he was going to say anything about Pepperbounce right then, or anything at all, she basically cut him off. Or his thought process. I know Peps doesn't like you, but he trusts me. I've seen you with kits. You're good with them. I trust you.

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| @alec [:elmostare: Bear with me I hate writing mood swings Lmao]| @Breaking Dawn |