[Dolomedes]

Rabbitpaw
He/him | WC Apprentice Tunneler | Moons: 6 | Purrks: none | Part Manx cat

Rabbitpaw looked down at the mink that was at Crowtooth's paws as he mentioned sharing it, wow, those were what they were fighting. It was bigger than him. He could kind of see why he wouldn't be able to help fight them now, but still Rabbitpaw was quite the fighter! At least, he thought so and so did his mama. Though when he thought of fighting the fight came flooding back to mind. The blonde apprentice settled down but didn't move to eat. He wanted to recount everything and hear a response sooner rather than later, even if eating wouldn't take very long at all. Rabbitpaw took in a really deep breath and began to retell what had just occurred just moments before.

"Well, I was just walking through the clearing looking for something to do because I was free and then Lightningpaw called me over and asked how I was doing and stuff. And then I said that I was alright but bored!" That was a simple enough start, and maybe a bit ramble-y and not to the point but still, a good start and the tom took another breath before continuing, the words rushing out after he had started. "And then we chatted some more and then he asked if I was really alright because he said I was acting like I had something to prove and that I was acting more... umm.. down, I guess? And then I admitted to him that I was still feeling sad about Fallownose, because you know, its been less than a moon and I really miss him even though I didn't like... personally know him, he's been the only deputy I have ever known and I aspired to be like him and stuff, and then he's just... gone, now and I am not over it yet and stuff..."

Rabbitpaw took a small breather again, looking away from his mentor's eyes, not wanting to see what kind of reaction he would have to that. Because Rabbitpaw thought he was normal for mourning his deputy still but maybe Lightningpaw was right when he said that he was supposed to be over it already. The tom continued after lapsing into silence for a few moments, and when he did his voice came out more unsure. "And.. I.. I don't know why that upsetted Lightningpaw… because then he was yelling at me that he was going for a walk until I can be honest with myself”

And then Rabbitpaw found himself unable to sit down in front of the mink and he wasn’t even really thinking about things as insignificant as breathing because he was starting to get upset again just retelling the story, even though Crowtooth was helping him and wasn’t Lightningpaw. The blonde apprentice began to pace a small line back and forth in front of Crowtooth as he continued with his now more of a rant than an explanation. “And then I got upset because I just admitted that I have been mourning my deputy still and Lightningpaw was like,” Rabbitpaw’s voice rose as he spoke in ‘Lightningpaw’s voice,’ “Get over it, Rabbitpaw, he wouldn’t you dwelling so long on him’”

Rabbitpaw had to stop then because he voice was starting to get higher unintentionally from not breathing but just as quickly he was back at it to finish off the rant, “And then I said, Lightningpaw you can’t decide how long I can or can’t mourn the only deputy I’ve ever known and one of my aspirations, he can’t decide how long I mourn for anyone. And I also said that it wasn’t like my grieving was getting in the way of taking care of myself and my clan and so I see nothing wrong with the fact that I haven’t gotten over over Fallownose’s death. And I may have said that I couldn’t just forget Fallownose like Lightningpaw apparently did, and I think that made him upset as well, but that’s what it felt he was asking me to do, you know?”

And after Rabbitpaw was done with his ranting he felt a little bit better just being able to speak about it to someone regardless of if Crowtooth could offer advice but the blonde apprentice thought he could. Though with tears now welling in the corners of his green eyes, Rabbitpaw stopped pacing in front of his mentor and addressed him, “What did I do wrong, Crowtooth? Lightningpaw… he looked like he wanted to… hurt me, Crowtooth… I just…don’t know what I did wrong.”

[ @Rani - Crowtooth ]

Rabbitpaw gif made by ramen!
Rabbitpaw header made by Marigoldwhisper!