Re: Firestorm
Firestorm
Ultimate Predator: Inactive | Burn Baby Burn | Monkey’s Paw
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Firestorm mulled the words over. The brown tom had a point, would she be able to live with sparing someone who had wronged her so maliciously, and stolen everything from right beneath her nose? In a way, she had experienced that before. Her clan had turned on those she loved, leaving her with very little for a long time. Cowtuft, though not her actual brother, had become something of one to her. The clan turned on him, defiled his name, kicked him out, and suggested hunting him as if he were prey. It took her a long time to get over it, hell, she still hadn’t fully recovered from the perceived betrayal of their actions. Some of the cats like Fallownose, and Bravebird she was amiable with once again, however, there were others like Littleshock that though she may not be mad at her anymore, she couldn’t yet find herself able to forgive her.
The words that he spoke to her hurt. Her orange pelt felt like it was burning with the conflagration of insults thrown her way. He didn’t know it, but she was brave. She was brave enough to save those that she loved, and she was brave enough to stand up for what she believed in. Sure, her life may have been lived pretty luxuriously for the most part, but she was going to change that – if given the chance.
”I am brave,” Firestorm said, finally speaking up. ”Some moons ago, during the fire that raged through WindClan’s territory, my friend Milknose, then known as Milkpaw came to get me out of the camp. On our way towards the river, we got separated. Somewhere along the way he had gotten lost, and I too tripped and almost gave in to my fate of being burned by the very thing I’m named after. But I got up. I got up and found him, I helped him to his paws and we leaned upon one another as we walked. I was scared out of my mind, not so much of dying, but of losing him. I didn’t want him to die, and I was willing to give myself up if only it meant that he would make it back to camp safely. We both almost died and he’s since left the clan, but if I had to choose between facing that fire again to save him, or leaving him there to die, I’d charge straight through that fire again again.”
”There was a time when Scorchedfang and I were met by an awful rogue, and while defending me, Scorchedfang got hurt. It came to the point where I was forced to break the rogue’s leg in order to free him. I still… it still bothers me that I had to do that, and I wasn’t strong enough to finish the job, however, I don’t think saying I’m not brave is fair. Both of those situations were caused by my own weakness and inability to react fast enough or because I wasn’t aware of what was going on around me, but I still did my best to stand in the face of the situation and protect my clanmates.” Pale green orbs once again looked over the cats that were gathered before her, but she didn’t falter. She said her peace with confidence, as she recounted the two events that haunted her nightmares the most often.
”You asked if I could convince myself if someone should live is the right choice, and I think I could. I haven’t been wronged too many times in my life, I guess you can say I’ve been a bit spoiled, but I believe I could. I haven’t had to make a decision like that before. I spared the life of the tom who attacked me and Scorchedfang, but that was because I couldn’t bring myself to ending his life at that moment even if he would go on and harm others. The night Cowtuft was exiled and everyone talked terribly about him, I felt angry, but it wasn’t enough to think of killing any of our clanmates. I was angry at the clan for turning their backs on him, and I was angry at the cat who poisoned our herbs, making me, him, and Lightningstorm accidentally kill some of our clanmates.” A sigh escaped her as she recalled the event the healers held to check up on the clan. She had been in charge of the young kits, and fed Foxkit burnet was it? She didn’t know that the herbs had been contaminated and the young she-kit sadly lost her life. It was something she regretted and haunted her to this day.
”I’ll admit that I can be selfish. I didn’t fully think of the repercussions of my wish, or how they would affect those around me. Sometimes I chose to do my own thing instead of checking in with those around me, and I’ve sorely neglected many of my loved ones in recent moons. Even so, I tried my best to cheer others up in the time that I had. I tried to keep them from being bored, whether that be a small chat, a hunt, or even something as silly as a game. I saved a life or two, but those were also a result of them saving me. I didn’t live a perfect life, I made mistakes, and sometimes I did take the easy way out, but I have reflected. You say that the future doesn’t matter but my previous actions do, you say it’s too little too late, but you have the power to change that. You all have the power to give me a chance to right my wrongs and do things the right way going forward. The future is all that we have to look forward to, whereas the past is something we have to learn from. Some cats take their whole lives and they don’t realize these things, I was one of them, but that’s then and this is now. Maybe with my previous actions, I don’t deserve a second chance, but if I’m sent back, I will be doing everything in my power to earn it.” She took a couple of deep breaths before continuing ”I love my family, my clan, my mate, my kits, everyone, but you’re right, I have taken them for granted. That was a mistake I made that I wish not to repeat. Everyone makes mistakes, and yes, some of mine are heavy, but I’m trying – okay? I see now that I was not putting forth enough effort into anything, but instead living simply. I’d like to fix that.”
All of this talking was starting to stress her out. It was taking everything in her power to keep her words from coming out all jumbled and incoherent. Would Lightningstorm be proud of her if she could see her now? Say that was a lot of words for a little Kitten to know? She resisted the urge to smile at the thought. Gosh, she could go for some of that incessant teasing right now.
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