Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonestar23
Shrikecall looked worriedly at the she cat for a moment, his hues glinting with anxiety before he sighed. As always, he had failed at doing what he wanted to do most; make a connection. Make the connection that he was just a warrior, though a warrior with considerably more influence in the Clan; he was still just a warrior. A member of the Clan like everyone else who wanted to make things work out for the better. And it was difficult to do that when cats were always looking at him either as though he were completely strange, or as though he wasn't a good cat. I try, and I try... he thought, his thoughts finally trailing off. He didn't have time for any of that, not if he wanted to patrol the borders. The tom sighed when she cut off her first statement and then began a second, and he figured the two-- while having a significant amount in common-- were not supposed to be the same. She had deliberately changed her second one. But why? What did she think Shrikecall was going to do? Great...is she scared of me now? I'm supposed to be protecting her, not only as a clanmate but as her Deputy-- and if she's scared of me, that's going to make it very difficult. Shrikecall sighed, before his hues flashed in aggravation. Why did everything have to be so complicated all the time? Couldn't, for once, there be a nice simple way out of things?
"I see. Well I do appreciate your company-- y'know, being deputy is a lot lonelier then most cats think. I don't really have the opportunity to make really personal attachments-- it would slow me down in the end. Make it harder for me." Shrikecall mewed. He wanted her to understand that while had nothing against her, they wouldn't truly be able to be friends. He felt a sting of sympathy for the senior warrior, but that was the way things worked in his mind. A moment later, when Heathertail's fur brushed against his own, he could feel alarm bells ringing in the back of his mind. He could almost see everything going down in flames, and he stiffened, muscles tensing as he did so. Don't. Don't. Don't. That was the only word that came to mind, replaying over and over, bothering him and taunting him, making him feel uncomfortable. And a second later he calmed himself and glanced over at the she cat. Maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to have her along. It could get dangerous-- especially if she set the miniature alarm bells to ringing again.
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Surprised by the last statement, Heathertail turned, focusing her confused amber gaze on Shrikecall. She hadn't expected the last sentence, and it rattled her a bit. "Slow you down?" she echoed, mulling over the thought in her hown head. She assumed he meant a mate, and by that she definitely didn't consider herself to be anywhere in the realm of qualified for that duty. She was too shy, too scatterbrained, and too nervous when it came to emotions. Sure, once enough layers were peeled back she was a genuine sweetheart, but she got flustered too easily and it frightened her. Not realizing that Shrikecall had probably meant personal connections as frineds, she felt her ears heat up and she glanced at the ground, a little laugh escaping her. "I didn't mean that kind of company," she offered, forcing herself to look at the tom once more, a smile appearing on her face. She hoped that he didn't think of her as just coming out here because he was the deputy of the Clan. She had truly wanted to get to know the real him. How did this go from hunting to... this? she thought, bewildered by the sudden changing of topics.
One thing she had learned from her uncle, and her dad too, and quite possibly a gift passed down from her mother, was the ability to read people. It might be what attributed to her being so shy; she knew when others were uncomfortable or weren't sure what to say to her. And now, looking at Shrikecall, she could see something had set him off. Figuring it was their conversation, all she could do was laugh, the sound like soft little bells in the air. "Maybe we should split up to check the borders? I can take the ThunderClan border, and maybe you check the RiverClan? That way they can both get done, and then we can head back to camp," she offered. Her voice was small though, compared to how she'd been speaking before. Gone was the playful, fun side of her. Now, since the turn of events in the conversation and how she perceived it, Heathertail felt it was best to strictly stay professional with Shrikecall. Maybe I shouldn't have gone up to him in the clearing. Maybe he only invited me out to be polite, she thought, shuffling her paws beneath her as she glanced down, waiting for his response to her suggestion.