[lost]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Feeling someone bump into him, Badgerpaw was about to turn around to tell them it was okay - but when his yellow hues met the cat's eyeless sockets, he stopped. Lostpaw... Badgerpaw sucked in air through his teeth. He couldn't believe it was her. While the tom had thought about when they would meet again, he hadn't imagined it being like this - so awkward and informal. He couldn't look at her for much longer. "It's - it's Lostpaw now, right?" The tom asked, trying to figure out a way to recover conversation so that it would at least be a little friendly. He needed it to be. After all those moons of missing his best friend... were they still best friends?... he wanted this to be a happy occasion.
　
But tension was there, in the air, and he didn't like the feel of it. "Me? Oh, I've been great. Just... you know, busy with training and... I don't really have friends, so it's not like there's a lot going on with me. Other then the fact that being an apprentice isn't the glamor-filled experience I thought it was going to be. You?" His voice might have sounded a little tighter and tenser then normal. It wasn't like he had meant it to.
　
But this was different then he had imagined. This happy day was beginning to darken. "What, um... wh-what happened to us? I mean, we were - you were - my best friend, and... I thought... I mean..." Badgerpaw was struggling to find the words to use. A long time ago it would have been easy. Pick up where they left off, no problems, but that was a fairytale. A fantasy from long ago, a mirage that was already beginning to fade. And now? Now Badgerpaw wasn't sure where they were going to go from here. Were they going to have to start all over? Or maybe... maybe there was a way to salvage their broken friendship. But one thing was bothering him.
　
Was it just his imagination, or did Lostpaw seem... sad?

Lostpaw was silent as she listened to Badgerpaw's voice. Even it had seemed to change. Everything was different. In just the few sentences he spoke, she felt as if he had grown more reserved, less open. She hated change, but it always had to happen. When he said he didn't have any friends, she flinched, feeling as if that was a shot at her for disappearing. Perhaps she deserved that. She did cut him out of her life rather suddenly.
"I, uhm... Yeah, it's Lostpaw. Has been for a while..." She paused a moment, "I've just been training, really. I have to put in more effort, and my mentor works with me constantly... I get around a lot better now." Then there was silence, at least from her end. After she spoke he asked what had happened. The question she didn't want asked, and that's the first thing he does.
Flattening her ears, her head jerked away as she seemed to stare into the distance. Of course, she was just trying to gather her words before she said something stupid. Something that would upset him. Why was this so awkward? They were best friends, things shouldn't be this way.
Turning her head back to him after he finished talking, she was quiet a moment before she spoke up. "I don't know. I guess... I wanted to be normal... But, that wasn't possible. I'm eyeless, I am disabled and weird." She paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
Badgerpaw seemed so far away, but she knew he was only a few paw steps away from her.
"I was getting irritated, I wanted to be able to do everything everyone else our age was doing. Play without tripping over a stick. Wander the camp without smacking into the camp walls. I... It was hurting me, not being... normal. I don't know, Badgerpaw. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She stopped after she apologized, not sure what to say. He was her best friend, she wanted to tell him everything. But what was there? She just vanished, for no real reason.