[Dust]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

[ No, don't worry about it! I just thought I could handle two roleplays at once in the same place. Aren't I a rebel? ]


Juniperpaw almost told Phantomwhisper to lie back down, but she paused as the elder feline started speaking with a light layer of clear tears lining her eyes. Despair seemed to radiate off Phantomwhisper, engulfing Juniperpaw in a cloud of it. Though the medicine cat knew what was coming, she did not want to admit it. This had already happened once - just a few moments before the older cat entered the den. Juniperpaw wasn't particularly eager for it to happen again, especially when, as a medicine cat, she should be able to prevent these things.


This isn't your fault, you're barely just an apprentice. Of course it's my fault! I should be able to keep you alive, out of pain, even if just for a few days! Juniperpaw was the medicine cat of RiverClan after Geckoleaf's tragic disappearance. She should be able to tend to her clan, but she couldn't even do that! If Geckoleaf were here, she'd know just what to do... But Juniperpaw's mentor had abandoned her to suffer! Hurt flooded the young cat's heart, and she felt herself struggling to maintain strength, but luckily, she was able to keep her legs from trembling.


``I've done this once before, Phantomwhisper, to end the misery of a young kit. I've yet to bury his small body, because his death is very recent. It was only a few moments before you came to me when I kill- when he died. This kit was my first patient, and I couldn't save him.`` Juniperpaw shook her head sadly, avoiding the elder cat's gaze. Instead, she stared directly at her own paws which seemed to be firmly planted to the ground. ``Now you want me to go through that again? Call me selfish, but I don't know if I have the strength to do that again.`` She inhaled heavily, holding her breath for a few quick seconds before exhaling. Don't you dare sob, this isn't the time to wail like a kit without its mother. ``But I- I suppose I can gather the strength for just a little while. If you're sure this i- this is what you desire?``

(Power to you OTL Juggling more than one has me dying on a regular basis ;; )

All the old feline could do was nod slowly, her eyes half-closed as she seemed to contemplate further on the decision. Was she backing out? Could she cause so much pain to a young cat... or would she suffer for the rest of her days? Either option wasn't ideal, but there was nothing more to be done. Phantomwhisper's expression seemed to mimic Juniperpaw's as she watched the medicine cat apprentice clearly struggle with this decision. She was old, but she hadn't lost her vision yet -- not to mention the heavy weight of the air in the den. She swallowed hard, her pelt prickling at the uncertainty.

"Well, it's not really any cats desire to die, I would imagine... But I know for certain that I'll be hunting with our ancestors." It was a bittersweet moment. On one hand, she could stay here with her clan, her friends, but on the other she could move on from this realm to forever hunt with her deceased clanmates and those tragically lost along the way. Dread crept it's way through her body, causing her to stiffen. "It is what I want. I could do whatever it is to myself if it would make it any easier."