[Dark]

Chapter 3: Darkfall and the Case of His Greatest Mistake
Partially Inspired by the song “Scared of Love” by Megan Faria (though not gonna lie, this took so long that I forgot the original purpose and it ended up mostly being a summary of past events)

This takes place from the end of Disposable Teens to Present Day, however, some background information is given for those who’ve missed the lore.

[Mentioning @Rose just in case there’s something in here I may need to change. This is super long though, so read when/if you have time]

It was no secret that Darkfall and Larkfire were once really close friends. The two of them had spent much of their apprenticeship together, and now that they were both full members of the clan - one a warrior and the other an enforcer, it only made sense that they’d be able to enjoy one another’s company more.

Or so one would think.

Darkfall was a wreck emotionally. His moods constantly fluctuated, and he struggled to connect with others, but at least there was still Larkfire by his side as his best friend. The two initially met as apprentices shortly after Larkfire (then Larkpaw) joined the clan at one of the gatherings. It had been a full moon, as most gatherings were that evening, and Darkfall (Darkpaw at the time) was approached by a WindClan apprentice who had run ahead of the rest of her clan.

 

At that time, Darkpaw awkwardly tried to handle the situation without causing a potential scene, and Larkpaw came to help. The two warned the young she-cat, Ashpaw, that she shouldn’t leave without the safety of her clan and callously approach them. Not all of the members of ShadowClan were as understanding or patient as the two of them. That was also the time Darkpaw first talked to a leader of another clan, Twilightstar.

After explaining to Twilightstar the situation and having everything resolved, the two young apprentices didn’t pay much attention to the announcements but engaged in playful banter instead. Though not entirely serious at the moment, Darkpaw instantly took note of the beauty sitting alongside him. The two spent the rest of the evening flirting before it was time to go home.

For a while, things didn’t progress between the both of them from a romantic standpoint. They were still friends of sorts, but they didn’t interact often. It wasn’t long after that initial meeting that a series of unfortunate events occurred. Darkfall lost his mother while she gave birth to his newest siblings and secluded himself, avoiding other members of the clan. Unfortunately, the clan was facing a prey shortage, and as a result, he couldn’t remain holed up in the den for too long.

It’d only been a couple of days before disaster struck again. Darkpaw was searching for his sick sister, Fallenpaw, to get her out of the camp and hunt. He checked the apprentice’s den, and when he was unable to find her there, he went out into the clearing to look for her. Instead of finding Fallenpaw sitting in some corner or something, he found Larkpaw sitting next to what appeared to be a sleeping cat. Upon further inspection, this cat turned out to be Fallenpaw.

Well, that was weird. Darkpaw didn’t know why Fallenpaw was sleeping out in the middle of the clearing, so he nudged her in an effort to get her up. Her body was cold and stiff. He hadn’t wanted to believe it or more like, he couldn’t believe it. His beloved littermate who had been by his side since birth, was dead.

The poor tom begged and implored the black and white cat to get up, but she never did. Her already thin frame was even slimmer than usual, and her fur was matted. He hadn’t been there. Darkpaw hadn’t been there during his sister’s final moments. Shortly before the death of their mother, when Fallenpaw expressed her concerns about her health, Darkpaw had promised that they’d figure it out and things would be fine. Now here she was. Dead. Needless to say, he didn’t handle it too well and was berated by Dawnstar for it. Larkpaw, at the time, could do nothing but watch and nod when she was told by the leader to be the one to bury the deceased cat.

The following day, Larkpaw, Darkpaw, and Willowspark buried Fallnepaw in Moonlit Grove. Darkpaw, understandably, was having a difficult time. Yes, he still had his new brothers and sisters, but they couldn’t possibly compare to the bond that he and his twin sister had. He blamed himself for everything. If only he had seen the warning signs sooner. If only he had forced the stubborn apprentice to see the medicine cat, maybe things wouldn’t have ended up the way they did. Maybe she’d still be alive.

It was seeing him at his weakest that caused Larkpaw to take action. She offered him solace by saying the blame laid not with him and offered him her support just by being there. The grey and white cat even took the initiative to personally bury her deceased clanmate in an effort to spare her friend’s feelings.

It wasn’t long after that, that tragedy struck again. Darkpaw’s mentor and the clan’s deputy, Cinderblaze died. Darkpaw and the now-deceased tom weren’t particularly close or anything, but the young apprentice held a deep respect for the cat. After all, it was Cinderblaze who had shown him the territory and begun training him in the art of combat.

In the span of a little over a week, Darkpaw lost everything. His mother, his sister, and now his mentor were dead. He didn’t know his father, and as far as he was concerned: he didn’t have one. It was at this moment that what little rationality Darkpaw was keeping himself together with, jumped out of the window.

The young black tabby howled in rage in front of the entire clan, declaring war against the twolegs for the way they brutally murdered the cat he admired the most. Seeing Cinderblaze’s broken body sprawled in the clearing and how Dawnstar handled it - shattered something within him. Larkpaw at that time pitied the tom, but not wanting to get on Dawnstar’s bad side, did nothing.

Not too long after this, Darkpaw and Larkpaw would encounter one another again. This time, Ruepaw was being chaotic as usual around the clearing. The tom stepped into the path of an angry Vixensnarl who had been aiming a blow at Burningfrost and Darkpaw heroically tackled Ruepaw out of the way. Unfortunately, this action was misinterpreted by the other tom, and a fight ensued.

It was over quickly, Darkpaw receiving minor injuries other than a hard bite to the shoulder. Larkpaw, who had watched the whole thing unfold, told Ruepaw off for tearing down the apprentice’s den and ended up receiving some nasty words in response. Enter Dappledleaf. Dappledleaf joined the fray shortly after that while trying to get the onlooking kits in order. She started telling everyone where to go and was a bit too stern with Larkpaw for Darkpaw’s liking.

So of course, Darkpaw who was already in a poopy mood, boldly confronted the forever queen about it. This was his first interaction with Larkpaw’s mom. Larkpaw at this time had not only tried to stand up to Ruepaw for her friend’s sake but also attempted to warn him before it was too late. Anyways, things proceeded without too many issues afterward.

A few days after this, Darkpaw snuck out of camp. His shoulder wound from his fight was still sore, but he wanted to do some hunting in an attempt to distract himself from all of the negative feelings he had from the last couple of weeks. Larkpaw, noticing this, took the opportunity to follow him under the guise of making sure he didn’t break the rules. This was around the time that apprentices weren’t allowed to leave camp unaccompanied.

Understandably, Darkpaw wasn’t too enthused about this new development and initially tried to brush the younger cat away. She was just so overbearing! Of course, that was what he felt at the time, and looking back on it, he wishes that he would’ve been a bit nicer to her. She was just trying to show that she cared, and he treated her like she was no more than mouse dung because of it.

Perhaps this was around the time that everything started. Larkpaw seemed to have begun to develop feelings for the tom and, unbeknownst to him, he began to start feeling something towards her.

The two walked, Darkpaw continuously teasing his friend with playful flirting and Larkpaw unable to properly respond for most of it. At some point, Darkpaw spontaneously decided to do some battle training.

For the first little bit of it, Darkpaw was overwhelming Larkpaw with his sheer size and strength, however, that did not last long. Darkpaw had been knocked to the side by a blow from the smaller cat and as a result, lost his balance after his injured shoulder gave out.

Larkpaw, ever the opportunist, capitalized on this and leapt upon him. Generally, this wouldn’t be much of an issue. However, in the heat of the moment, her claws slid out and reopened his wound. They stopped there, and after much apologizing and reassurance, the two made their way back to camp with Darkpaw leaning on Larkpaw for assistance.

At some point after this, Larkpaw was named the first and only apprentice enforcer. This lead to Darkpaw being both jealous and proud of his best friend. Though she was younger than him, in a way, she had already surpassed him. He congratulated her as any good friend would, and nothing much changed between them.

Sometime later, both of the young cats became warriors early. Or, in the case of Larkfire, a full enforcer. Larkfire, the younger of the two, received her warrior name right after him, much to the shock of Darkfall. Though a bit jealous that his friend beat him to becoming an enforcer first, he was really happy for her.

After this ceremony, Darkfall found himself heading to Moonlit Grove to inform his lost loved ones about the things happening in his life.

It was when he finished baring his heart out to the deceased, it was then that he met Larkfire who had left the camp and was waiting for him.

Initially, Darkfall was cross with her (something he’d come to regret much later) and standoff-ish. However, after receiving some form of comfort from his friend, he was able to open up a little bit. The two would go to find shelter from the snowstorm that came in and would spend some time chatting within the hollow of a tree.

After some playful teasing, and having a brief heart-to-heart of sorts, the two cats waited for the storm to clear up before heading back to camp.

After heading back from the snowstorm, Darkfall fully began to develop feelings for Larkfire. He never actually mentioned anything to anyone, and up until this point, he was mainly flirting with her because they garnered cute reactions. But after that time he spent with her in the snowstorm, something within him that had been dormant for so long began to awaken. Whispering in his ear that Larkfire might just be the one.

Fair warning
I'm damaged, I come with baggage too
Just saying, I'm always broken and I
Don't wanna break you too

It was after the border skirmish with ThunderClan that Darkfall truly processed the feelings he had towards Larkfire. He liked her. Like… like liked her. Being new to this feeling, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. The idea of Larkfire being hurt or worse, dying - scared him more than he could even begin to express.

This was around the time the tom began to distance himself from the object of his feelings. The nightmares had started. After the back-to-back deaths of his loved ones, Darkfall often had nightmares. These dreams usually in some shape or form involved him helplessly staring at their deceased bodies, unable to move or speak.

After the border skirmish that the frequency of these terrible dreams increased. Seemingly every night the young warrior would be plagued by the deaths of his loved ones, or be surrounded by a pool of blood at the border. One thing remained consistent about these dreams: the phantoms that haunted him regularly jeered at and taunted him, belittling him at every turn. Calling him names like “useless”, “failure”, or “liar”, they’d repeat this over and over again.

Darkfall knew that these phantoms weren’t real, but the consistency of the bad dreams eventually affected his waking life as well. Darkfall fell into a depression and began to seclude himself from others. The black tabby had always felt like something was wrong with him, but this convinced him of it. He was cursed. What other explanation could there be? First, his mother died, then it was his sister, then it was his mentor, and now there was a battle at the border that left three dead. Everyone around him seemed to be dropping like flies.

It was because of this, coupled with the eventual death of Mirehound and disappearances of Shadowfur, and his younger siblings - Strawberrykit and Vulturepaw - respectively, that he began to avoid Larkfire.

Don't you come any closer
Don't you dare ask to come over
'Cause I'll do something dumb
Like let you in

It was a selfish and disgusting act that he would later come to regret. Instead of talking things out and explaining what was going on with him, he bottled his feelings and pushed his best friend away. He didn’t want to lose her too. If Larkfire died, he wasn’t sure what he would do - that’s how important she was to him.

It hurt. A lot. Darkfall felt like he was losing another piece of himself every time he thought about the she-cat and the action he chose to take. In the process of refusing to, in his eyes, lose his love by putting her in danger, he instead chose to lose her in a different way - pushing her so completely away, that she wouldn’t be around him at all.

It was for her own good, he told himself. She was better off without him, he would say. Not knowing that he was tearing the both of them apart in ways that would not be easily healed.

We both know how this works
And one's gonna end up hurting
I don't wanna do it again

I'm scared of what I'll do
I'm scared of what I'll say
I'm scared you'll just
Get bored and push my love away

I'm scared to let you in
'Cause I'm scared to let you go
So I just think it's better if we never know
What we could've been

The next few moons proceeded just like this. Darkfall, for the most part, continued to avoid Larkfire whenever possible, and working to harden his heart against the pain that came along with the separation from his friend.

It was an unfortunate thing, but again, Darkfall felt it was for the good of them both. As much as it may hurt him to not hear the voice of his beloved friend, or see her reactions to his playful flirting, he would persevere. He had to. It was the only way he could assure Larkfire’s safety.

Some time passed, and Darkfall’s young apprentice, Moonpaw, went missing. Darkfall initially waited things out for a day, but when she did not return, he went looking for her, spending a considerable amount of time in the territory and outskirts. [Check “Chapter One: Darkfall, the Case of the Missing Apprentice and a Potential New Lover?” for more information]

It was here that Darkfall met Heron. The loner reminded him of Larkfire in many ways, so much so, that he had initially mistaken her for his ex-friend when their eyes first met. It wasn’t long, however, before Darkfall began to notice that they were completely different. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. The way Heron acted reminded him a lot of how Larkfire had once been many moons before while they were apprentices. Perhaps that was why, despite himself, he felt so much at ease around her. The current Larkfire was much too serious and gloomy, and even before then, he had begun to feel on edge around her - as if she’d snap at him at any moment if he said the wrong thing.

When he was with Heron, he began to notice the things and mannerisms that Larkfire once did and exhibited, and found himself appreciating them more now. It was around this time that he truly realized the gravity of the actions he had taken. Though they had just recently met, he could tell that Heron cared about him to some degree - just as Larkfire once did.

'Cause I'm too scared of it
Some people fall out of love
Some never find it, some say it's right
But just not the right timing

Because of this, the large tom found himself using Heron as a fill-in for the cat he still had feelings for. This is why he found himself letting the she-cat in little by little but also keeping her at arm’s length.

Her amber eyes reminded him of Larkfire’s own fiery orbs. Looking at her grey and white pelt while she rested, reminded him of the first night he spoke with the latter. He could still clearly remember the way the stars seemed to illuminate her as if she were a spirit. Darkfall could remember that night many moons ago as if it were yesterday. Gosh… She had looked so pretty at the Seastones then. There was nothing he wouldn’t give to go back to that night and start over. Unfortunately, things didn’t always end up how one wanted…

When he was getting ready to leave, Heron asked him if he would stay to be her mate. The question had caught him so completely off guard that he didn’t know what to say. The whole time he was here thinking of the she-cat who he had left back home, the one in front of him was looking toward a future with the two of them.

He told her no.

Heron tried to persuade him at first, but with his adamant attitude, quickly gave up and told him to hurry and leave so that she wouldn’t make more of a fool of herself. Darkfall nodded and quickly left, not wanting to have a change of heart. He had a clan to return to after all.

”Don’t forget about me, okay? Make sure every once in a while, you come to see me. Or at least if you’re in the area. Oh, and make sure you don’t hurt yourself and that you eat enough, alright?” Heron had said, and at that moment, Darkfall agreed.

In truth, he didn’t have much intention to come back out here, but if he were to come this way again, he would make sure to give the lithe she-cat a visit. He did enjoy her company if he was, being honest, so he saw no reason not to.

It was what happened next that threw him off. Heron gave him a sneaky “Take care, Darky, I love you” before running off.

Darky

This was a nickname that Larkfire had jokingly come up with for him many many moons ago, and none other had called him since then. As he watched her go, dumbfounded, he wondered what it’d be like to hear those same words from the one his heart truly desired. The thought brought him a small smile and he knew what he needed to do next.

Some people make promises
And then change their mind
When somebody else comes
Along to make it one-sided

With a newfound determination and empty-pawed, Darkfall made his way back to the camp to those that he left behind.

It didn’t take long after he returned to camp to find out that his remaining kin had either gone missing or died during his absence. This absolutely crushed Darkfall. Now he truly had no one left but himself. He didn’t have long to grieve though, because the battle for Sunkissed Creek was looming on the horizon. He had to prepare, and it was during this battle that he would unleash all the pent-up rage he felt for his fallen family and clanmates.

If all good things come to an end
Why even start this up
I think I’m scared of us
Yeah, I’m so scared of us

Why even start this up?
I think I’m scared of us
I think I’m scared of love

Shortly after this battle, Darkfall was in the process of recovering from the wounds he sustained. It was the first time he had properly been able to relax in the camp in well over two weeks since he had initially left in search of his apprentice. It was then that Woollyfearher called some of her clanmates to action to renovate the disturbed Moonlit Grove.

It was here that Darkfall and Larkfire had quite the reunion. Darkfall joined the group late, having taken some time to clean his wounds. Initially, the tom was helping the organizer of the event with some of the lighter work due to his injury, but after Hawkbite had a fit, he ran to the area where he found Larkfire in a grave.

He had attempted to drag her out but slipped and fell on top of her instead.

Darkfall could still remember coming face to face with those beautiful amber eyes for the first time in moons. To be honest, he was completely mesmerized. At the time all he could think about was ”Wow she’s absolutely gorgeous” and using his willpower to not vomit on her. He’d never been able to look her in the face again if that happened.

This was also the moment that the large dark-furred tabby messed up. He had been a little too familiar with his old friend and called her “Larky”. Boy was she mad about that. To be fair, her reaction was justified. He had mistakenly believed that she would just proceed as things had been previously, and as a result, ended up being the target of her freshly kindled ire.

The two eventually got out and made their way to the medicine den. (Events TBRPed)

Since that encounter, Darkfall began to notice the small things about his former best friend, and things that happened in the past had begun o click into place. Larkfire was great with kits, something he hadn’t actually put any thought into before. She had at one point had a plethora of younger adopted siblings and seemed to be able to handle them quite well. Additionally, she at one point held a kit curriculum class, as he had and had quite a good amount of attendants. Then there was the whole Flowerkit thing at the clan meeting…

Oh! One couldn’t forget that she was caring. This was the one trait that Darkfall missed the most, as when they were younger, he had found it the most annoying. He used to believe that she was just being unnecessarily overbearing, and with everything that had happened in such a short time span, he just didn’t want that at the time.

Now though, Darkfall had come to appreciate it now that it was gone, regretting ever taking her caring attitude towards him for granted. Why had he been so stupid? Why couldn’t he have just been honest with her then? Maybe, if he had, things between them wouldn’t have ended up so… badly, to put it mildly.

Oh well, it was much too late to regret things now, he just had to try and move forward and attempt to right his wrongs.

All of the emotions that Darkfall had buried deep within his heart were beginning to resurface with a vengeance. He liked Larkfire. A lot. And now, he refused to deny those feelings. He wasn’t going to handle things the way he did before and would make an active effort to, not just go back to how they once were, but to be better than that.

When they were apprentices, Darkfall had told Larkfire that she was the only she-cat he had eyes on, and then things ended up progressing in a manner that showed the opposite. The truth of the matter is he had abandoned her, just left her all alone during a time of need. The cat who had been so worried about being left behind (via her potential death) had left the only cat that still had an inkling of positive feelings for him behind, and now not only did those feelings all but disappear, he had a duty to set things straight.

He had to step up now and make the first move. And the first order of business was to get back into shape. He felt that if he wanted to catch the eye of Larkfire, he’d have to show that he was competent and reliable.

He had always been a good hunter and an above-average fighter he felt, but that wasn’t enough. He had to hone his skills to the point where catching prey, or overwhelming an opponent was like second nature to him.

He would do whatever he had to if it meant that he could win back the heart of his ex-friend. No matter how long it took, no matter how much he had to suffer, he was determined to go about things the right way this time. He didn’t have any status to his name, he wasn’t an enforcer like she was. Additionally, he didn’t have any outstanding achievements or anything. What he did have, was a heart that yearned for hers. A heart that wanted what was best for her, no matter how misguided that feeling could be at times.

It was for this reason that Darkfall went out to the Training Cliffs. Yes, he wanted to get back into shape in preparation for the potential full-scale war with ThunderClan, but he also had an underlying motive. The night when he left camp, he poured his heart and soul into his reps, until his muscles were screaming for him to stop.

After finishing, he made his way back to camp and when he laid down in his nest to sleep, he decided that never again would he fall back into a rutt. Never again would he allow his past trauma to get in the way of his feelings for the youngest enforcer. Never again would he push her away like he did. Never again would he sit there and give her promises that he couldn’t keep. And never again would he take Larkfire for granted as he aimed to get back into her good graces.