Quote:
Originally Posted by ~rattlesnake~
Wheatfur padded forward from the Starclan ranks, his cool blue eyes staring into Fallen's. The Golden-pointed tom knew the to-be leader in passing, and had always strike him as a good cat. He seemed to be a intensely bound to the warrior code, and morally strong. A worthy leader. But Wheatfur noticed that the tom had waves of anxiety coming from him, like he was regretting something. The former medicine cat felt that the silence had stayed long enough, so he broke it. ``Hello Fallenstream. I am Wheatfur, the Thunderclan medicine cat. Well, i was, but i was killed at the gathering. Through your life many things will come. But no matter what you will have to endure them.`` He paused his long lion-like tail swishing on the floor, like a timer for how long it would be till Fallenstream became Fallenstar. ``My mother disowned me when my paw was broken, and never healed. My father was never here. So i had to fight it out alone. I made some wrong decisions because i could not endure the pain.`` He paused again, the tension growing. ``To help you not make the same mistake, I give you the life of Endurance. To keep running even when the pain burns, to struggle with your clan, and to stay as leader even when things are tough.`` The tom lent forward, to touch his head to Fallenstream's. The older tom stared into Fallen's eyes, waiting, and watching.
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The tom lifted his head as he heard a faintly familiar voice, though he couldn't place a face or name to that voice for the time being he had heard it before. In the corner of his eye he saw movement, which in turn made him swivel his head more towards the direction of the golden ball of fluff. The moment he saw the purple eyes it clicked, and the tom began to spoke, which only confirmed his answer. He had seen the tom during the gatherings, he would walk past him every once in a while and would hear snidbits of the conversation he was holding with another. He had never truly gotten to know the tom, only heard him snap at passerby's and give away his battleing wisdom. As the former medicine cat started his speech, his soul filled with dread, he wasn't so sure about this anymore, he wasn't fit to be leader, he had killed one of his own clanmates in cold blood, he'd already made bad decisions.
As Wheatfur leaned forward the ebony tom took a step back, fear plastered on his face. He couldn't go through with it, "I-I can't do it, I've done so many things, so many horrible things, I can't become the leader....I'm not good enough." he said, hanging his head, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. Fallenstream knew he wouldn't be able to lead his clan, he had already made so many mistakes, too many mistakes to fix. "I wasn't supposed to be chosen for a deputy, heck, I wasn't supposed to become Leader!" he snapped, " I don't want to become selfish, I can't become power hungry, I can't become the thing I hate the most!" he cried. He had only cried once in his whole life, and that was when his mother didn't come back with his father, when a senior warrior told him that she was in Starclan. He wept the whole night, and didn't eat for a whole day after that. This was a rare moment, the second time in his whole life the ebony feline had ever cried " I'm so confused, my whole life is turned upsidown, I don't know what to think anymore! Russetstar and Snowstar, they're sweet, caring, the opposite of selfish, I don't understand. My beliefs, they've been flipped and swirled, I don't know what to believe anymore! How can I lead my clan if I can't even fix my views!" he cried, the clear liquid landing on the star littered grass. He couldn't bear to look at the golden tom, he figured he looked like a lost kit, that's what he felt like. He could already feel himself drowning in the disappointment, Lightstream turning her nose up, Honeypool walking away, Driftingstorm disowning him, his family hating him, his clan hating him.