[bright !]

Originally Posted by woly

He listened to his words, the way he spoke to her seemed like and gave the impression he knew what he was talking about. She looked up at him through golden slits. She knew he was right. She knew she was just some shecat who had to high of hopes for love, and had fallen from the high tower of her expectations for what was suppose to happen. She didnt want accept she wasnt good enough. She didnt want to accept Honeycomb wouldnt love her because if her gender. She didnt want to accept that she was,infact,unlovable. She wanted to cry, to scream, to shout out her feelings like a blaze but the fire was muted, and her mind went silent with her decision. ¨Ill train with you, theres no harm in being a better warrior.¨ She knew she was making a deal with a devil, she wasnt dumb, but the tom seemed to somehow connect to her. To understand what its like to hold someone so high in your life and have them push you off of that podium. He understood her. When she felt like no one would understand. She wasnt sure if this was a bad idea, but it was a distraction. Instead of worrying about Honeycomb she could focus on training, something-anything- to get her mind away from the reality she had created. She was a monster. She felt terrible for putting a wall between her and the cat she loved most. It was all her fault.

Moonstrike understood it all. He had trained his feelings out, using his anger to train harder become the (dead) warrior is his now. He let it all out on the cats he’d go up against, using the deadly techniques Venomscratch had passed on to him. But the training, the fights, the murder- he focused on that and that only. Anything to take away the pain of the rejection from someone you thought you had a chance with. Someone you could trust. Someone you’ve known for so long so well.. Someone you were so close to, and then, suddenly you mean nothing. You could try anything, but it would never convince him that Bearsnarl would ever love him. It was carved into his mind, the fact that she hated him. And now, it put him here. All because of that fox-hearted, abusive, arrogant, evil, self-centered son-of-a-- He shook the thought of the brown she-cat away. That was long ago, and of course he was over it. But that’s not what he should be focusing on. Wolfdancer. Honeycomb. Training. “Of course there isn’t,” Moon’s voice was soft, welcoming, yet sounded like he was thinking. He was going for this look, of course. He knew that she knew what she was doing, but might as well make it look better by being somewhat of a.. ‘nice’ evil cat. He wasn’t in the Place of No Stars for no reason, though. He was truly a monster, a murderer, a manipulative one at that. He meant no good, and the costs might just outweigh the benefits. Really, it just depends. It was just her health, right? That part would be her choice. But surely it wasn’t a big problem if it meant she’d only be joining the Dark Forest as a dead cat. But Moonstrike wouldn’t understand how.. how living cats could feel while struggling physically, aching all over with scars scattered all over the body. Anymore, at least. She might end up missing other cats that were still alive, that might go to Starclan.. But he never felt that. Oh well. If it kept her mind off of the splotched enby, made her stronger, then nothing else matters. Nothing else.

His first apprentice. He was lucky to be able to find the perfect one right when he was looking. One who can relate to him, one who he could understand. They’d have some sort of connection, and he’d be able to comfort them. In a way. Well, before scratching them up and probably coming close to killing them. But he’d only be helping them grow stronger and stronger each night he had a visit, which he should be thanked for. He stood in front of the she-cat, smile the same as before, “Get ready, apprentice, I’m not gonna be going too easy on you.”