[lio]

@Broken Madness
since you did the story from sano's point of view, i decided to write it from onyx's eyes. sorry if i got some of it wrong in what you were imagining to happen.

×

onyx's final journal entry
by hiraeth

it had been a normal day. i was sitting outside, writing in my journal and wondering how life had become so difficult. our world had been destroyed, replaced with those who sought power. everyone was under the rule of the darkness, but only few were still smart enough to realize it.
but then he appeared. sano flyer, the monster made of glass. he had believed me to be someone else, his brother, hades. at first, i had been confused. terrified, even. yet i was intrigued. sano was hurt, afraid of even the sounds of vehicles passing by. so i helped him, but he flinched away, desperate to find his brother.
he wanted to run on his own. he wanted to leave me there, confused and yielding the urge to help. i wouldn't allow it, arguing stubbornly. i guess being stubborn was in my blood.
then, he kissed me. at first, i was disoriented. but it had really teleported us to where we met with two others, hades and cayden. at that point, i hadn't felt any spark. any hint of another emotion other than the yearning to help these strange people. so i did. i led them to my hide-out, keeping them hidden from those who searched for them. of course, i had to show off my skills while i did it. who wouldn't?
as time had passed, we grew closer. my heart began to beat faster while in your presence, my cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink. your features stood out suddenly, but i didn't understand what was wrong. what i was feeling.
little did i know, i was falling in love.
of course, being the fearful child i am, i refused to admit it. it always happened to be at the tip of my tongue, ready to slip out, but i was afraid. would it ruin what we had? would you push me away in disgust?
would you hate my guts?
and so i kept silent, breaking down day by day. i tried to act normal, like your very existence brought me no separate emotions. always pretend that he means no more than a friend, i would say to myself, my stomach twisting at the lies i told. many others began to become worried. i was starting to shove them away, closing myself off from the sunlight.
showers waited for weeks to be taken, food was rarely eaten, and i was a mere skeleton with skin. dull, lifeless eyes stared back at me in my mirror, the dark pools once swimming with brightness. it was difficult to wake up each day, prefering to just cover my head with the blanket and lay there, silent for hours on end.
they all tried to bring me back. they had grown used to me, even teasing me about my obvious feelings for sano. but i refused to step out each day in fear of facing heartbreak.
it went on for weeks. months, even. until one day, they called me forth, speaking frantically. sano has become a murderer. it couldn't have been true. i had to see it for myself. so for the first time in weeks, i made my way from my bed and ran.
clearly, i didn't look the greatest. bony limbs poking out from thin, stretched out skin, my hair tousled and greasy. it was obvious that i hadn't showered for a long while. but i didn't care. i just had to save him.
once i had arrived, the terror rushed in. mauled bodies scattered the area, blood spattered along the ground. he seemed surprised to see me, yet i couldn't believe it. tears sprung at the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill. but i simply wiped them away and stepped forwards. cradling your face in my hands, i spoke my confession, sounding confident though my heart was leaping through my chest. even through the fear i felt, i was happy to see him. my sano.
time passed, and i grew healthy. doctors gave me medication to help control my moods, and i finally allowed the light to return to my eyes. after a while, i began gymnastics again, practicing every day to build my skill once again. and my love for him became stronger. but i could sense that something was wrong. he loved me back, and he told me with every chance he got. but his gaze held guilt, a regret for some unknown cause.
but now i know. and now i can see why he tried to push me away as i did him. he had been called into the madness, and there had been no turning back.
he changed. he became a monster. and i couldn't help him. and so i fufilled his wish.
i killed him.
now, as i write these final words, i wish that this could have ended in another way. but the call of madness is far too strong.
my name is onyx cypress, also known as xero ramirez. i am a gymnast, journalist, and the lover the sano flyer. i avoided the darkness, even as it ripped my heart away.
and to whoever reads this, i hope you can avoid it, too.