Quote:
Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx
Receiving such a comment from Shinefang filled Juniperpaw's heart with warmth. He believes in me. When she first became Geckoleaf's apprentice a majority of her clanmates looked down on her for replacing the former medicine cat apprentice. She had been an outcast among her clanmates - not even Geckoleaf or Russetstar could look at her without being reminded of the former apprentice. And Daydream, who was best friends with Cricketpaw, must also have difficulty looking at Juniperpaw without thinking of their deceased friend. Shinefang was the only one who hadn't known Cricketpaw and therefore couldn't judge her in that area. Juniperpaw looked up at the older tomcat and saw genuineness that had her spilling everything. In a raspy tone, the upset RiverClan member admitted, ``It's so hard, Shinefang! Geckoleaf disappeared, and so did Cloversplash, my mother. My half-brother is obsessing over some hard-headed tom and non-stop talks about him, so it's not like I could go to him for support. And my other half-brother hates me! He doesn't like that I'm `daddy's little girl` and I have the rank I have. My dad's grieving, and I can't burden him with even more issues. My first two patients - the first cats I treated! - I had to kill! The first was a young kit who had internal injuries I couldn't heal. The second was an elderly warrior who also had internal injuries. I had to feed them deathberries and watch them die because I didn't know what to do! The poor kit's family was there... The warrior knew she would die... Will it get easier? Will it really?``
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Kits and their drama, Shinefang thought to himself as he nodded along while Juniper described her various half-siblings and their feelings, fighting not to let his eye glaze over. But he couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for Juniperpaw and her lost parents. It had been moons and moons since he lost his own, and it still stung. "I'm sorry about your mother. I know how much it hurt to lose her. I think I already told you the story of how I lost mine and my eye in the same day... which come to think of it was worse than today. So I guess I'm moving up in the world if you think about it," he said wryly. "Your father just needs time. He'll heal." He knew a thing or two about parents neglecting their kits for their own grieve. Even now, bitter anger simmered within him. He may have been an apprentice, but that didn't mean he didn't still need his mother. "As for the rest of your family, they'll come around. You'll see."
And to watch kits and elders die... to feed them deathberries. At least he'd been lucky in that respect in his short career as a medicine cat, but he had seen cats suffer too long who couldn't be healed. "I hope you're not blaming yourself for that, Junebug. You could be the greatest medicine cat the clans had ever seen and still lose patients. It's not that you're only an apprentice, it's that you're only a cat. I may be hurting after losing Acornpaw, but I know you don't think less of me for it. Sometimes cats die. All you I'm not saying it will someday not bother you at all when you lose a cat, and frankly, it should bother you a little. It's only a sign that you care. It's why you're a medicine cat in the first place. And for every cat you lose, you'll save many many more." Shinefang used the tip of his tail to playfully tap the end of the medicine cat apprentice's nose. "So chin up, little Junebug."