[PeaFlower]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

The medicine cat looked up, her tail twitching anxiously as Cedarflower entered the medicine cat's den. It was getting too crowded for her. The den now had four cats in it - Caliapaw, Ivypaw, Cedarflower and Foxpaw. The feline was uncomfortable with the space she was being given. "No." She answered, before she could think the word through. Horrified at her own answer, the she cat's eyes widened some and she looked back down at Ivypaw's body just in time to see the blood come out of her mouth. Caliapaw had never been squeamish about these things, and it was good that she wasn't - being the medicine cat and all. "I'm sorry. She lost a lot of blood." She looked down at Ivypaw's body, desperate to think of something - anything that she could do. Caliapaw grabbed some poppy seeds along with aspen tree bark, shoving them towards the young apprentice. "Eat them." She ordered, before looking over at Cedarflower.

At this point? The chances of Ivypaw making it were very, very slim. Yet Cedarflower had asked for the whole truth and the harsh truth, so Caliapaw had given it to her. She was scared. Yes, she was scared. This was the first time she would lose a patient, and her faith in herself was fading. She was convinced now that Wheatfur had made the wrong choice. Yet there was a nagging thought pushing at her, telling her that it wasn't her fault, that this apprentice had taken on a fox on her own. It wasn't Caliapaw's fault. But she couldn't save Ivypaw, and that just might be the medicine cat's fault. Stepping away from the cat, and praying to StarClan that she would eat the herbs that had been offered (if she could keep them down, Caliapaw was worried that Ivypaw might just cough them back up) she moved closer to Cedarflower.

"There's... something I can do for her. I can make her journey to StarClan less painful and more peaceful." Wheatfur had taught her about this. She knew most of the easy herbs by heart now, and this was one of the ones that he had taught her first. Just in case. Maybe he had known he was going to die, maybe StarClan had shown him - Caliapaw only wished she could have saved her mentor's life. If only she'd gone to the Gathering! She hadn't been there, and now her mentor was dead! She wondered if Cedarflower would agree to let Ivypaw go more peacefully or if she would want Caliapaw to do more.

There wasn't anything more she could do - except for stick more cobwebs on to stop the bleeding. She wasn't sure how to fix the blood that was coming from Ivypaw's mouth, she couldn't think what was wrong - she hadn't learned this. And that was something that was making her lose the shreds of confidence she had gained here and there.

Cedarflower had recoiled slightly at Caliapaw's words, tears now falling freely on the she-cat's face, her body trembling and her claws digging into the ground, as she tried to suppress her sobs.
She was thankful that Caliapaw didn't hold back, it was painful, yes, but less than being led on to a possible spark of hope, however small it could be, and then let down a few moments after.

She barely registered what Caliapaw was doing with her daughter, too busy trying to calm herself down, and failing at it. Her little kitten was going to die, there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't have any kind of knowlegde in that field, she was useless. A useless mother. That's what she was. Where did she go wrong ? What pushed her daughter to put her life at risk ?
Now isn't the time to blame yourself. Cedarflower managed to think. You shouldn't be breaking down crying, you should be strong.

She looked up just as Caliapaw went closer to her. At her suggestion, the she-cat slowly nodded."If ... "She suppressed yet another sob. "If this will make her death come faster ... and if she doesn't die before you do ...then, please do." The mother meowed, her voice trembling. "I can't imagine how much pain she's in. I'd rather have her die now than suffer any longer." She started weeping again, but did her best not to show it, trying to distance herself from everything and everyone around her.
She could feel Caliapaw's distress. She knew what had happened to Wheatfur, like everyone else in the Clan, and even though she didn't know her well, or at all, she was still willing to spare her any more stress.
"It's not your fault ..." She muttered for both herself and Caliapaw. "It's not your ... fault ..." She kept on saying those words over and over, her gaze fixed on everything and nothing. She was feeling lost and helpless, and she hated that feeling.

Originally Posted by Okapi

Ivypaw swallowed, she closed her eyes as sleep covered her eyes, she could see in her dreams misty meadows she shook off the sleep weakly,” I love my ma.” She gapsed as blood poured out her mouth she closed her mouth. She was asleep to a point their was no waking up. She wandering in the meadow of her dreams, it was all quiet and still. In the clan, her breathing grew more, and more shallow until finally it was almost one breathe per minute. Ivypaw felt like the meadow was disappearing underneathe her slowly. She finally gave a loud exail and the meadow disappeared completely. She dared open her eyes, expecting to see Caliapaw pleased she survived the wounds and awoke,Dreams are faster than- she stared around she was in the medicine cat’s den as she expected, but standing Huh. her eyes fell to Caliapaw who clearly looked stressed out she meowed softly,” I’m fine. I’m here. I’ve recovered!” Thoug Caliapaw didn’t answer her. She saw her mother sobbing on the floor,” Ma!” Tears filled her chest, Whats wrong with everyone? I’m here and I’m fine! she yowled loudly,” Ma! I’m fine!” No response, she slowly took her eyes to the patient who was dead, Who’s that? They clearly are- No!No! I can’t be dead! No! tears pooled in her eyes she nuzzled her mother despite the fact her mother couldn’t sense her. She smiled softly to Caliapaw,” I don’t know if Medicine Cats can sense my presence, but if you can...I don’t blame you for my death...” she blinked her tears away and turned stepping out of the medicine cats den and looked to the stars,” Beam me up, Starclan.” She disappeared from her clan and found herself in the starry sky.

Cedarflower's incessant muttering came to an abrupt stop when she heard Ivypaw speak. The tears came back full force at her daughter's words, and she panicked at the sight of the blood coming out of Ivypaw's mouth, getting closer to the apprentice's body.

She watched as her daughter's breathing started to slow down, not daring to touch her should she still be able to feel pain. "You'll be okay ... you'll be alright, my little kitten ... everything will be fine ..." She whispered as she kept on weeping, closing her eyes as the sight was too much for the mother to bear.

Then she heard her daughter take her final breath, and she couldn't take it anymore. She collapsed on the floor as sobs wracked through her body, forgetting any kind of manners she had learned to display and keep throughout her life. That was it. Ivypaw was gone. Her kitten was no more. She had left and gone to Starclan.