Quote:
Originally Posted by Inglewood Binks
His attention flicked towards his name- inadvertently, he replied to and as his antecedent name, but then he recognized the Siamese face of Snowstar. This inspired his lips a twist that they hadn't played without having to force on for a while, much like hers. But his traces of a smile erased with Snowstar's like a mirror.
The same hunger and dreariness and tire came pouring from the she-cat. He felt his stomach sink at the sight of a fine leader coming to tears, and knowing the burden of leadership she bore made him all the worse.
"You want to cry. But I know; I understand the feeling. You can't seem weak. You don't have the luxury. Perhaps in the leader's den?" Gyrewind's voice could have been irritatingly different from the pain that was growing from seeing Snowstar like this, but the tom wasn't irked. He was doing what he could, or what he thought best, because he knew the embarrassment. Shameful, certainly, but he knew what mental dread came from embarrassment in her position. |
His suggestion made Snowstar flinch despite her efforts not to, his tone of voice making the words seem like they had an annoyed edge to them. But when she looked up at him she saw his pain reflected in his eyes and knew he was suffering just as much - if not more - than she was. The young leader desperately shook her head, glancing around the clearing. Then, after a moment, she took in a soft breath and straightened up, forcing her flattened ears to pick and her fur to lie flat. "No. I'm.. Fine." It was a lie - she was anything but fine. "It's just so much. I don't know.." Her voice seemed to drop. She didn't feel like she was going to cry anymore; No, Gyrewind's reminder that she couldn't seem weak had chased away any tears, even though her heart ached, wanting to do more for her Clan.
The Siamese quietly sat down beside Gyrewind, still facing him, but her eyes were turned away. Gentle ice blue eyes flitted from one warrior to the next, and she struggled not to show the searing agony that she felt deep inside. That same hopelessness. Bubblestep's question rang in her head. Some of us are going to die, aren't we? Fighting back that same despaired feeling, Snowstar closed her eyes and seemed to jerk her head to the other side to look away, letting her eyes crack open to glare toward the ground a few paw-steps away. But the glare softened almost immediately. She wasn't pregnant. She didn't feel irritated anymore. Not annoyed. Not snappish. She just felt... Helpless. "Is this really what StarClan wanted?" The Siamese's eyes softened even more as she whispered the words, more to herself than to Gyrewind. "Do I even have what it takes to..?" She left the question unfinished and swallowed, closing her eyes again. Honestly she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to that.