[Charmer]

Originally Posted by DustThunderstorm

A soft purr rumbling deep in her chest as the two embraced eachother, Slatepelt felt her heart soar. She had been so worried. It had been difficult for the many moons she hunted in Starclan's territory to watch her mate close up and disconnect. It just wasn't him. Inhaling deeply, she let out a soft sigh as the silence enveloped them. It surprised her when Shinefang pulled away, the warmth from his living body disappearing with a trial of stardust.

"I..." In a second, all the warmth that had flooded underneath her pelt disappeared and her gaze seemed to travel back to that moment. She was alone. Utterly alone and cold. Giving Shinefang a pained stare, the warrior shook her head slowly from side to side and let out a long sigh. "Shinefang, it wasn't my fault Starclan decided to call me among their ranks then. I was in so much pain, I didn't mean to cause more!" Her reply was defiant but filled with grief as she watched the tom move further away from her. Please not now! This is the first time I've seen you in moons. Her mouth gaped as he continued. "Shinefang that isn't my fault that your siblings died! I don't know what you want me to say! We had to move with the clan too!" It was ridiculous that she was defending herself so vehemently. She thought Shinefang would understand, he would have realized it wasn't her choice. She would never leave him intentionally, so why did he believe that she chose to leave in one of her worst moments. A bitterness pierced her heart. "I wish I could have stayed with you and our kits could have stayed with you! It wasn't my fault and it hurts that you think I would have left you all alone on purpose!" The wispy fur on her face was now stained with tears. How unprofessional of her. After all these moons in Starclan and she had to lose her composure now? She couldn't even remember the last time they had fought like this, certainly not while she had been alive. Did he want to see his kits? She could arrange that. Anything, just anything to have him not be upset with her! With a sob, Slatepelt muttered under her breath,

"I fought as best I could, Shinefang..."

It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault.

That's what she kept saying over and over. Shinefang numbly listened to her words, wanting to believe her and knowing somewhere in the deepest part of his heart that she hadn't wanted to go. But he couldn't accept that. His stomach lurched at the idea of simply accepting that something that had caused him so much pain could have just happened. No. He had fed the rage within himself for moons. It wasn't just him anymore, but a creature with a life of its own that he was in the habit of feeding. It had kept him warm during the cold winter night when he had slept alone in a nest. It had kept him company when he was lonely and missed her. It had accepted him when other cats had turned away from him and insisted that it was time he "moved on." His rage was his one true friend now, and it needed to be fed. Not even his former mate's tears could tame his rage, but his surviving love for her could turn that rage on something else, the cats he blamed more than anything. "Then tell me this, why did Starclan do this to me? Would it really have disturbed some grand important plan to let me grow up happily? To have my mother there to watch me become a warrior? To have kits with my mate and watch them grow up together?" The tom shuddered, the force of his anger making him quaver. He took a step forward, his voice cracking as he stepped closer to his mate and said, "Slatepelt... don't you hate them for doing this to me? To us? How can you stand to be here with these foxhearts?"