[Clover]

Originally Posted by woly

"I know enough about Starclan to know they are anything but god. Playing with cats lives like its a thread." their tone was grave, more serious. They had watched their father die when they were a kit. They weren't close to him in the first place, and not with their mother either, but to watch Starclan take a cat for no reason. Stung. Every time they closed their eyes they felt like it was another world. Every time they slept they were faced with nightmares, visions, gore that disturbed them. They could only blame Starclan for that. They have never held Starclan above them, they never will find refuge in them, they would never respect them, they would never see them unless necessary. It made them feel out of place with the medcats. Once Cricketpaw had died, they felt they had no one left. Another thing Starclan had taken. "Cricketpaw was never a mistake. She was the only blessing that I could ever agree with Starclan on."

Once again, tears began to pick her eyes; how could she have called Cricketpaw a mistake, even a beautiful one? Cricketpaw had never been anything but perfection; calling her less than what she was was an insult. But she managed to hold them back, glancing over at Daypaw with a strain of guilt coloring the blue of her eyes a darker shade of sadness. Swallowing her emotion, Geckoleaf listened to the words they spoke, far wiser than their years, but just as filled with genuine emotion. Without saying anything, she rested her head lightly against the apprentice's, who was already almost as tall as the orange tabby herself. "You're right, Daypaw. Of course, you are. Sometimes I wonder how ShadowClan came to be blessed with the best medicine cat in the five clans. Cricketpaw was anything but a mistake. She was our companion; my apprentice, and your friend. She made your life better; I can see what losing her did to you. I just hope you can forgive me for not getting to her fast enough, sunshine," she murmured, gently, musing, tone lilting and airy. It was obvious she was tired and becoming more detached from their conversation with the apprentice; the term of endearment was second handed, off-chance, and made her only hope that Daypaw wouldn't look at her funny.