[Brilliance]

Originally Posted by Ryder

“I have to admit that goals sometimes can be hassle to some, but that’s just from personal experience.” The brown-furred shecat murmured with a gentle smile as she looked at Stonestream with her ears twitching ever so softly, “I do agree with you that it makes life all the more interesting - perhaps someday, things will become less morbid for me.” Autumnleaf took a moment to look out at the trees that loomed over them from outside, a somewhat small sign of hope seeming to flicker within her emerald-hued gaze before she shook her head. “Heh, I’m sorry, I tend to act so foolish and forget the reality of it all - I was like that when I still had my youth.” The small shecat grew silent for a moment as she listened to the gentle breeze go through the woodland area outside and it made her wonder for a moment, however, before she could elaborate on these thoughts - the tomcat began to speak once again, which caught her attention as she listened to his words about goals being lazy and seen as becoming more carefree. That was something she had never thought of before, so that intrigued Autumnleaf for a long couple of seconds as she pondered over that, finishing this with a gentle smile coming to her maw now. “Perhaps you are right, Stonestream.” The long-furred female remarked, “For such an extensive amount of time, I’ve just stressed about my goals and hoping to accomplish them before my time is up - but maybe one of my new goals should be to worry about making myself happy and just enjoy life.” It was rather strange thinking about life like this, considering how earlier that she was just feeling broken and dismal inside. She uttered a quiet sigh, seeming to almost come content with her actions and where she was now. Looking at the male who accompanied her out of the corner of the shecat’s gaze, Autumn couldn’t help but silently thank him for this. Just the simple act of listening and comforting her while she was in her state of raw emotion - it had nearly brought her back to reality and out of the dark abyss that she was lost in when the storm had started not too long ago in this land. She gave a chuckle at his reaction of embarrassment towards her whole scar situation. “It’s alright.” The bobtail reassured him, “There has always been something interesting about one’s scars. An elder once told me that scars are stories, history written on the body.” All his little awkward and shyness at times was rather adorable to her when they showed themselves and Autumn honestly had no problem with it. She couldn’t remember the last time that someone had been so engrossed in her life. As she told more of the ill-fated tale of her and Lightningclaw’s background, she couldn’t help but look at him with this gaze that was filled with several emotions as he said that he understood what it was like to be in love. The bobtailed feline did not doubt this - he didn’t look like the type to lie about this. As she listened more to what he had to say, Autumn couldn’t help but feel like he understood more about her than she originally had assumed. There was a strange, yet calming comfort about it that the brown-furred warrior couldn’t put her paw on. “Love is not just a feeling. It’s all about commitment and true sacrifice.” The small female mentioned with a morbid chuckle, “The pure experience of being in love or just being loved by someone, it is something that most are willing to chase after and risk everything they have ever known for. It’s a beautiful, yet sick addiction that all creatures go through - but that’s just my opinion on it.”

Autumnleaf noticed almost immediately how alarmed and embarrassed Stonestream became once she had mentioned the things regarding Lightningclaw being a hero to some. “No, no! It’s completely fine, Stonestream. There’s no need to be sorry, you silly mousebrain.” She murmured, resting a paw on his shoulder for a moment, “You didn’t offend me. Back then, there were a lot of cats within Thunderclan that admired Lightningclaw and everything that he had become. He was the talk of the clan and there were many, well, flirtatious shecats that tried to make advances on him. There are times when I wonder if he ever had cheated me with another female, but I never had the evidence or anything to prove my suspicions.” The bobtail explained, not wanting her new-found friend to become distraught and anxious when it came to talking to her about this kind of stuff that involved her past. “There’s no harm done in your words, my friend, just some revisited memories that I had not touched in many, many moons. Trust me on that.” Autumnleaf wasn’t very good at comforting others or even reassuring them, for that matter in particular, but she hoped that Stonestream would not fret about this because she took no offence from it and that was true honesty. She did. However, notice how he became more interested than before when she mentioned telling him an important secret of the past - not just hers, but the clans. It was probably frowned upon by how quickly she trusted others when it came to telling things such as this, but something about this tomcat made her feel safe and sound, like she could confide in him when it was time to spill out all the words of her story. He seemed to become lost with thought and rather content as she told him of that day. Autumnleaf remembered how kind Northpaw was to her and Lightningpaw when they were young. Even though he was still an apprentice like them when she knew him, the bobtail still had great respect for them and silently hoped that he was doing well in Starclan, or wherever he was now. It was rather embarrassing, but Autumnleaf never really found out what happened to Northpaw, being too lost in her own life at the time. She choose not to mention this to Stonestream for obvious reasons. It took her by surprise when he spoke, almost being completely lost in her own storytelling to realize that she had perhaps offended him slightly with her words. Now it was her turn to become embarrassed and even though there was hints of a joking tone to his voice, Autumn was still very much ashamed for being so foolish. “I-I’m sorry.” She mewed to him, turning to the tomcat beside her with a certain sad shame in her green-hued gaze, “Sometimes, I get so into my stories that I don’t really think about what I say at certain points. It all just flows naturally from my mouth and it just..happens, I guess.” She knew, deep down, that this was probably putting too much forward and making this a big deal when it didn’t have to be that way, but the bobtailed shecat hated to offend others - no matter the context around it. Whether it was age or sexuality or relations or anything, she did not desire to be that type to harm others with words in a disrespectful, rude fashion. Autumn saw him lay his head on his paws and murmur something, which made her ears twitch. Perhaps she would lose this new friend before she even got to truly know him in a way and that thought just brought her down again. Silently scolding herself because of this, she decided it would be best to just move onward now.

The bobtailed shecat wished that she wasn’t so tired like this, especially now, when she was telling an important story to Stonestream. It usually didn’t occur to her how much sleep that she had missed out on in these past moons while she grew cold and emotionless over all the pain that her life had given her. She knew that her story, especially the part where Lightningclaw was given powers by Starclan, seemed unbelievable and weird, but Autumn knew that it actually happened - she wasn’t crazy or anything like that. She was depressed, anxious, emotional and many other things, but she wasn’t insane and the bobtail was certain about that. Moving on from that part of the conversation, the warrior looked at Stonestream with a softened smile when he mentioned that her first litter was most likely a joyous occasion for her and it was, without a doubt. Her smile fell when the tomcat told her of his first litter of kittens, where a miscarriage occurred. It was a heartbreaking thought and the shecat could only image how difficult that was for him back then. She took a moment to rest her head against his shoulder for a silent couple of seconds before she spoke. “I am sorry for your loss. I truly am.” The brown-furred feline murmured, her tone soft and comforting, “I know how it is to lose a kitten before they even truly got a chance to live.” She trailed off in her words and grew silent before softly shaking her head, “My poor little Stormkit..” Autumn whispered this and then flicked her ears to her friend’s words now, letting another smile come to the maw of this shecat. “I’m glad you think so. I always saw them as unique and I wanted them to have names to express this.” The forced happiness in her expression would falter now and then as she continued to tell him more. Out of the corner of her vision as she looked out into the hunting grounds with this lost and hurt look, she saw him sit up and look at her - he seemed to already know that her story was about to turn dreadful. His soothing words made her feel better though, she’d admit, peering up at the tomcat with a small, understanding nod. He surprised her by resting his paw gently on hers for a small moment. It was a sweet and heartfelt gesture that made her feel warm inside. “I appreciate your support, Stonestream, I want you to know that.” She mentioned, “You deserve to hear everything however, so I will go on and tell you the next part of my life.” Autumnleaf took a few seconds to stretch out her paws once more as she sat up like he had done. This would help her keep awake and not doze off on him. “In the same moon that my kittens were born, there was a large forest fire that broke out in our territory. Without a doubt, cats in our clan that are around our age remember that. It was such a terrifying experience.” The shecat expressed, giving a quiet sigh before going on, “Lightningclaw, of course, decided to put the clan first before his family - which I suppose is understandable, but I will move on so I don’t get too ornery about all of that.” There was a slight pause for effect. “I was left to evacuate with the rest of Thunderclan while my mate was going through our territory and camp, looking for cats to save and rescue anyone that he could find. It was dangerous to do, but he was willing to use his powers for the good of the clan.” She said, “I managed to carry our five kittens, some on my back and a few of them by the scruff. I don’t recall whether or not someone helped me carry them that day later on, but I cannot recall that much detail about it.” The shecat heaved herself onto her back legs as she turned over her front paws and showed Stonestream that burn scars on her bare pawpads from walking through the burning forest. “I was lucky to get out of there with just these injuries - I remember so many cats suffered worst than me.” Autumn shook her head, silently taking a moment to honor the ones that were lost in the fire. “All of my kittens were strong and fought through it, even though they were so terrified about it. The youngest of the litter, Stormkit, was taking the worst of it. She kept coughing and whimpering as we fled through the thick smoke to safety. She was the runt of the litter and much weaker than the other four. I had always tried to be careful with her, but..” There was a moment of silence as she bowed her head before she peered at her friend with a sadness in her eyes. “My youngest daughter was taken by the thick smoke of the fire. It was too much for her tiny, weak lungs.”

Stonestream let out a soft humming noise, before he chuckled softly. "Life's tough, isn't it?" He mumbled, shaking his head in a sighing manner. Life was so complicated, and sour, and vindictive. Life was just...spontaneous. Stonestream realized that he lived in a period where bad thoughts became revengeful needs, and the good memories were long brushed away. Stonestream knew he never had a happy life. He lost more than he ever gained, and he made horrible decisions; irrational mistakes. In his younger moons, now he laughed at the mistakes he done. What had he been thinking? For Autumnleaf, he doubt she would laugh at her past mistakes. Her story didn't seem comical at all. This was a she cat who was deeply repressed, sullen, and perhaps bitter about everything she went through. Stonestream didn’t know much, and he never liked to judge. She was a good cat - from what he was observing while with her. Whoever would wish to harm such a sweet feline? ‘’Hey,’’ He reprimanded, softly. ‘’Don’t speak like that. Things always tend to look up.’’ He assures her, giving her a heartfilled glance when she looked towards the trees. The slate colored tom knew that all too well. Autumnleaf had been through crises as much as he had. She experienced heartbreak, pain, horror. At the same time: happiness, joy, and love. The painful memories was always more than welcome to forget about but the good memories was locked in the heart; the key thrown away. Stonestream let out a rumbling chuckle, faintly drawing his tail to align on Autumnleaf’s back. “Still had your youth?” He questioned. Then snorted upon her words. Quickly, he added, “C’mon, Autumn. You’re still as youthful as ever. You’re a blossoming flower in spring so stop acting like a flower who’s dormant in winter.” He chided, playfully. Physically, he knew that both of them were much older. He knew soon he’ll be counting more white hairs than the gray on his pelt. Stonestream concludes that he was a few moons older than Autumnleaf, but to him, she was a pretty as any young female warrior. The sad appearance didn’t fit her beauty as much as a smile would cause her features to glow. Throughout spending time with his new friend, he did catch onto her smiles, and it made him lit up as well. The tom adored making others smile or laugh. It was better than a frown by a long shot. “Just because we’re older doesn’t mean we lost our youth,” Stonestream mused, “In fact we’re not old at all! We’re just a lot wiser. We had more experiences, we gripped onto life. I’d admit we could be role models, don’t you think? The youngins might as well learn a thing or two from us.” He purred. He had talked about goals being a waste of time. Long ago, he stopped planning his own life and did whatever he pleased. If there was a battle, he would fight. For he wasn’t an elder, but a senior warrior. He refused to allow his moons to hinder his motives. His main joy in life was appreciating the aesthetics in life. As well as cheering others up so they could see the diamonds in life and not the rocks. Stonestream had nodded dutifully when Autumnleaf had agreed with him, “It gives you something to think about.” He replied, drawing his tail to to his side, comfortably. “Goals can be stressful. You, my darling, could live without the stress.” Stonestream had the feeling that she felt stressed out, built on top of her melancholy thoughts. The events she talked about her life, Stonestream didn’t know if it made her even more depressed just remembering it. He knew the past wasn’t easy to talk about, but she was willing to tell him all about it. He was more than willing to listen to her tale. The past was not an easy subject to turn to, but most times it left a large boulder on the shoulder when you left it hanging there. The past was single rainy cloud that loomed over one when they continuously left it forgotten. Autumnleaf was brave, he’ll admit. He hoped that talking about her past would get her to feel a little more happier that she had a friend who could listen to her. “You just gotta stop putting your life on hold to plan it out. You could be happy again, Autumn. You just have to give yourself a chance.” Albeit he knew they were wiser now (refusing to accept they were older) Stonestream also knew that being alone was not a happy feeling. No cat should want to die alone. Stonestream hardly thought about taking on another mate after his failure with Nettle...then Leopardcloud. He healed ever-so-slowly after these two and became more incline with rebuilding who he was, and living a more peaceful life. He didn’t know if Autumnleaf thought about finding herself a nice well-rounded cat that could make her heart flutter more than they broke it. He just didn’t know - or understand thoroughly how Lightningclaw had hurt her. Stonestream had gave her a gentle smile, flicking his ears out of nervousness that soon melted into a bashful state. He was engrossed in the scar on her neck, wanting to get a closer look, but he didn’t notice that he was too close for comfort. They were already huddled in a tree, sheltering from the rain. Autumnleaf had brushed it aside, giving him no trouble at his curiosity. “Yeah, they are!” He agreed, nodding his head vigorously. All scars told a story. The feline body, at birth should be flawless. No kit was born with a scarred body. Experiences in life painted that horrendous picture, but as well beautiful artwork, depending on the story behind it. For Autumnleaf, her scar’s tale was about Lightningclaw hitting her. Although by accident. “Got the perfect scar on my belly,” he tells her, flicking his eyes outside to take note of the drizzled rain. He became a bit distant as he recollected those troubling events of fighting an opponent. Accidentally, he had exposed the soft fur of his underside, which had an advantage toward his attacker. Stonestream had flinched. Almost as if he could feel that pain once more.”I thought it was gonna be the end of me, if I’m honest. Never had I been so panicked in my life...ha.” That wasn’t a memory that should had been striked back. He preferred to not remember it at all, and he was lucky enough that the wound was left on his stomach because if it became noticeable, then young warriors, apprentices, and kits would want him to retell the bitter tale. That was something he could live without.
Stonestream had lowered his ears, pinning them on his head as he listened to Autumnleaf’s life with Lightningclaw. In his opinion, she deserved much more, but that mattered little because she had been dearly in love with him. It made him remember his first romance with Nettle, a secret he’ll never tell or mention to anyone. He had been made a young warrior, reckless and naive at first. He didn’t expect to fall in love with a rogue cat though. It was a sign of disloyalty to his clan, but the heart had its devious way of making you feel certain attractions to another even if it was morally wrong. Stonestream was happy with his life after settling down with Leopardcloud. Unfortunately, loss of litters, then when they had two daughters, those two perished by two different predator animals. Now, Stonestream knew he was alone, but he wasn’t deterred.
“Hmm,” Stonestream thought aloud when Autumnleaf reflected her opinion on love. As brutal as she made it sound; she was right. To a certain extent. “You make love sound like a venemous thing,” he let out a lighthearted chuckle. He couldn’t blame her. Experiences shaped thoughts on certain subjects. He personally felt that it was the cat that became their object of desire. Of wanting out of desperation to make that cat happy and love you forever. “Love should be something simple. We make it complicated by much. We forget that it’s the cat we direct our emotions to, and when it falls in heartbreak...we blame love.” He said, sullenly. “I just know - personally - that I’ll go out on the limb when it comes to love. Especially if I know the cat is worth it. Because when you love someone, what’s the point of wanting to hurt them? Shouldn’t you be avoiding hurting them?” Love was a goal in life whether a feline wanted it or not. It caught one off guard numerous times. In the end, Stonestream believed, it would be worth it. He had loved Nettle. He loved Leopardcloud. Those ended in heartbreak, eventually, and he was depressed for a while, but he learned that he wouldn’t have changed anything in the world because those two were worth loving. “I also believe, in my opinion, that each cat is different. You feel different emotions. When you fall in Love all over again, it’s like the first time. With a new cat. And, new ambitions - “ Stonestream had cut himself short, realizing that he was sounding a bit too sappy and dreamy. It made his ears heat up in embarrassment, so he cleared his throat giving Autumnleaf a friendly gaze. “Don’t mind my peculiarities. I, um...don’t know where that came from.” His whiskers wiggled as he blinked an innocent gaze; clearing his throat, the tom laid his head down on his paws all the while keeping an intense gave on his company next to him.

Stonestream had a feeling that he was emitting an obvious dislike to a cat he barely knew. He didn’t want to show any resentment towards Autumnleaf’s former mate. Where she condoned certain feelings for him still or not. Stonestream was not a cat to hate, but the things Autumnleaf told him involving her past with Lightningclaw caused him to harbor those budding emotions. She was such an incredibly sweet feline that deserved the world. A tom should be trying every way to pull the moon down from the skies and give it to her as a gift. Her reassurance, her tail on his shoulder cause him to look up at her with a calming gaze. “I didn’t want to rub on you the wrong way. I don’t know if you’re still sensitive about him.” Following afterward, he gave her his intent attention as she talked more about Lightningclaw, revealing how he was a hero to most cats. Stonestream had nodded because a cat with powers was an advantage to the clans. Stonestream didn’t like the thought of Lightningclaw cheating on Autumnleaf. It made absolutely no sense to him for a cat to cheat on the one they love just for a moment with the one they lust. “He’d be a lunatic for cheating on possibly the best thing that happened to him.” Stonestream was a cat least to judge, but if he found something wrong, he’ll speak up on it. Infidelity was one of the main reasons that so many cats drifted away from it. Lost their will to love because their heart was broken. “I hate for you to remember such touchy moments. It’s not easy to talk about, but I do want you to know that you don’t have to force yourself to address them.” He pulled himself to his paws, feeling his body slouching too long made his bones ache. After he did a little stretch, as best as he could, he sat down, more relaxed. The tom had indulged himself into the parable Autumnleaf was telling him. It started from him seeing her depressed, and soon they were caught in the rain and had to retreat to shelter. He knew they just met moments ago, but he felt a strong desire to make her happy. For one, he absolutely hated tears. He didn’t like to see others sob, it always made him awkward. For two, getting to know Autumnleaf has been a real treat to him. He couldn’t explain the budding emotions of a genuine friendship beginning, but all he knew was that he wished to eliminate all her negative emotions, thoughts, and memories and create much heartwarming, pleasant, joyous ones for her.
Stonestream watched how Autumnleaf became visibly embarrassed, causing him to widen his own gaze. He was joking! Stonestream let out a soulwarming laugh. “No need for apologizing!” He quickly mused, hoping to appease the sad-longing in her gaze. The last thing he needed was that certain look… Stonestream leaned forward to touch his nose to her neck, inhaling a quick scent of pine and ferns. The smell of rain lingered there, but that was expected since it was raining. “And, you called me the mousebrain, silly.” He joked, laughing once more before he pulled away. He didn’t want her to think he would fret over something as little as this. Stonestream held pride in his age but he didn’t want to acknowledge the picks that becoming older - he meant wiser - had. He knew the benefits, for sure, but it wasn’t the first time someone asked him if he remembered something. He did find it offending as it was a play on that he may be senile - which he was not. He could hear brilliantly in his left ear and his right one. He didn’t hold this against Autumnleaf. He’d hate to make her so upset when all he wanted to do was see her smile.

The thought that Autumnleaf’s former love had powers...was pretty far fetched, but this couldn’t be something Autumnleaf would lie about. Stonestream had been around as much as she had, but he hardly paid attention to her or Lightningclaw. She was just one of those warriors with a nameless face and clan mate. He doubt she would lie to him, so he wouldn’t question it as much. After all, this was about Autumnleaf. Not Lightningclaw. When she gave her condolences about his first litter, Stonestream tried to muster up a bright smile but nothing was bright when it came to talking about death. So, Autumnleaf had related in a way where she told him that she lost her own young kit in the fire. “Right...the fire. It was rough,” he said, softly, bringing his heads down to stare sadly at his paws. In turn, he tried his best to comfort the she cat. He seen the way her mood shifted, somewhat darker so he offered his support by putting a paw on top of hers. Whether inappropriate or not, he was encouraging her without the usage of words. There were no words he could offer that would make her feel better. So, he used actions that indicated to her that he was by her side. A new friend that she could count on in desperate moments. Stonestream quietly waited until she was ready to continue. She looked tired, he could see the exhaustion in her gaze. He would had been perfectly fine allowing her to sleep and wait until she awoke. However, she had sat up, facing him. She continued on with her tale, and all the while Stonestream gave a listening ear. “You don’t have to tell me that twice,” Stonestream muttered as he recalled the flames around the camp. It was a terrifying experience and not one he wish to get caught in again any time soon. Lives were lost in that fire...Stonestream remembered that he lost so many friends. He couldn’t imagine carrying small kits out of a fire with no help. No doubt, when she mentioned that added fact, Stonestream had narrowed his eyes. He understood that the clan came first, but would Lightningclaw forgive himself for abandoning his mate and kits? “I just want to admit that you’re very strong. I think you’re gonna hear that a lot from me because a queen who can carry five kits without help and the territory was in flames? You’re a real soldier. If I had known...I would had helped.” Stonestream’s admiring voice melted into one of guilt. Like it was his fault that she experienced such pain. On the other hand, he found it respectful that Lightningclaw had gone back to rescue any cats lost in the flames. It was a heroic thing to do. When Autumnleaf showed Stonestream her pawpads, he leaned closer to her a good look at them, just like he did when she showed him her scar. If he had moved any closer, he would had found himself touching them. Stonestream eyes gazed at his companion, a look of a solemn expression. He never liked to remember much of the wars or fire that Thunderclan been through. It always dampened his mood to remember lives lost; lives hurt. Most cats around today suffered from that fire and continued to walk with those scars forever flawed on their body. Stonestream pinned his ears against his head when Autumnleaf mentioned that her youngest kit didn’t make it. For a kit to be born and lose a life they never started...it was a painful thing. There were no words in the world that could comfort the other heart. So, Stonestream didn’t say anything. This made him feel awkward, and a tad useless as he couldn’t make her feel any better when she spoke of little Stormkit. He imagined the kit in Starclan watching over Autumnleaf like a guardian angel would. Finally, Stonestream had leaned forward to touch the she cat’s cheek with his nose. It was a gesture to comfort her.