Quote:
Originally Posted by Liekki
Here we go!
Desertmoon
She seems like a nice cat, and I can tell the gist of her personality. The problem is that she had no personality flaws. There's got to be something that she wished wasn't in her personality. Physical flaws are one thing, but every character needs emotional/mental/personality flaws. Another thing is that her physical characteristics (Coordination, strength, reflexes) don't quite match up with her personality. It's fine if you don't want to change this, but it seems that Desertmoon would be a stronger and more coordinated cat. Even if she wasn't born this way, it seems like her personality would make her train until she was where she wanted to be.
It would be nice if you would explain the quirks a little. How did she come to speak another language and hate rabbits? A backstory or something to explain this would be nice. That way it doesn't seem like you just threw it in there because it sounded cool. Maybe do a little story on how she traveled from France to here and what that was like for her. Did it affect her personality or give her any quirks etc? And why does she like things that come from the desert? Has she been there, has a cat told her about it? What makes her this way?
Welp. Sorry if that sounded harsh, I didn't mean for it to... but here you go!
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Ah! I actually do have a backstory for her. I have a Roleplay thread in the outskirts for it too. Here it is if you're interested:
DesertMoon was living in France with her twolegs (who spoke French which is where she picked up the language and accent from). Her twolegs decided to go on holiday and brought DesertMoon with them on the plane. Unfortunately, the plane crashed in the middle of a desert however, many of the other kittypets and various other animals survived and escaped into the wilderness. That first night, the molly was trekking through the desert alone, the full moon her only company, leading her to name herself DesertMoon. Eventually, she was joined by other cats seeking shelter and food and they basically became a family. Of course, cats started to leave and go their separate ways once they'd reached their destinations but DesertMoon kept on searching and came across The Syndicate where she was found by her future mate, Fleck. DesertMoon had picked up some healing knowledge so Fleck introduced her to the healers den and that's what she became.