Crowpaw
Purrks: Heightened Perception and Agatha Kitty
@
Tiabirb
Being pissed wasn't enough to describe the emotions that was going through his head. Although it was one of the words, it wasn't the whole story. He was exhausted in all three ways and just wished it would end, but it seemed the stars would show no mercy just as they had refused to do in the 20 moons before this moment. Crowpaw was tired of being a bad luck magnet. He was tired of promises being broken. He was
tired of having to fight for the simplest of things that no one else had to fight for.
The rain battered his pelt constantly, blinking every time it had managed to mix in with the tears that were pouring out of his eyes like a waterfall. They were silent tears. Tears that no one would know he was shedding unless they looked directly at him. His claws were extended to their fullest, clutching onto the single tree that was sitting on the bit of sand surrounded by the water of the world's tears. At least, in this dream-made world, it was crying for his sadness. He was cold, though thanks to him being part RiverClan, he had some resistance to the weather that pitter-pattered against the ground.
He heard Sweetsong arrive on the island, though he refused to look at her for fear of blowing up on her (that would probably happen regardless, but he wasn't going to go without trying). He then heard her voice cut through the rain, and he did not respond. All the young tom did was gulp and cast a short glance at the small-figured golden tabby below.
I know it's not your fault, but part of me blames you. It blames you for... for not keeping your end of the deal we made to each other.
Scratching the surface of the tree was easier than he thought. Perhaps it was his anger finally exposing itself through his claws? Whatever it was, he really didn't care anymore. It was just another time that he was showing his emotions in a physical fashion rather than verbal. For several moments more, he remained atop the tree, attempting to get a grasp on his emotions. But when he gave up trying, the young tom climbed down the tree and stared into Sweetsong's eyes.
"Thought you'd never come. I'm surprised, especially considering you broke your promise. Can't say the same for myself, though... Crowpaw's eyes flashed with bitter anger. Flashbacks echoed in his gaze.
"I kept mine."
His frown of anger turned into a scowl of deep distaste.
Perhaps Poisonberry was right about something with Sweetsong. She's great, but... she still hurt me. When I least expected it. He looked around at the swirling waves, contemplating what else he should say.
"You broke a promise. A promise that should have broken my trust in you. The promise I relied on you to keep. Of course what would I expect from someone who decides to connect with me? It’s always the same result, always the same… same instance. A promise broken.”
The words he spoke were words he never dreamed of saying to the she-cat in front of him. But he couldn’t help himself. Crowpaw always expressed his feelings through word of mouth- rarely ever physical violence. Were these the emotions Poisonberry went through on a… daily? Or was it nightly? Anyhow, that Dark Forest warrior was mean all the time.
I need to dial it back… Sweetsong doesn’t deserve an ounce of my anger.
“I- I’m sorry… I really shouldn’t be telling you off. I’ve… I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately.” Coming down the wire for warriorhood, Poisonberry’s lessons, keeping the Dark Forest training a secret from almost everyone in ThunderClan and Sweetsong, and then this. He looked down at his paws, which have been soaked in the water from the sky and his tears.
He took in a few shaky breathes and looked at his RiverClan friend.
”I’m… I’m really sorry. Could you forgive-“ No. ”Would you forgive me for my anger?”