Originally Posted by Liekki
Hmmm :3
Aria
She seems like a very interesting cat that has a lot of potential.
More elaboration on the personality would be nice, as right now the overview just has her tendencies, not her true personality. What I normally do is pretend to be the character and completely immerse myself in them. I pick out the main characteristics and think how they would react to certain things, their flaws, their strengths, and how they would react to certain personalities. Just a suggestion, but it could help when you're roleplaying as well. I often pretend to be the character and react based on that.
The part about kidnapping kits is really interesting, and I think you should add that into her personality. Perhaps add possessive, or even obsessive over kits. I think you could probably create a plot where she kidnaps loner kits or (with permission from the leader) clan kits and eventually give them back because of her guilt. I think that could add to her personality and give her a background, making her more a more interesting character overall.
Perhaps you could add some elaboration on why she joined the Dusk Syndicate. Did she hate the clans, want to be part of a group, be closer to more kits, what? (I got to WCO while the Dusk Syndicate was being disbanded, so I don't know much about that but...) Some elaboration on her physical characteristics would be nice as well. Like what ~rattlesnake! said, 'decide what 'type' of fighter [she] would be', or what build type she is. you say she's petite, but you put her strength at an 8 when petite cats are usually less strong. So that's more a matter of whether the body-type matches the physical abilities.
Chirppelt/Chirppaw/Desertmoon
First off, the overview would make more sense if it was in sentences and the traits summing up what was said in the overview. I didn't get a feel for the character when reading the personality, so it would be easier for others to understand the character if there was a bit more elaboration on that. (Add the jealousy part from the 'Deepest Darkest Secret' when she tries to kill the other apprentices). If you've rp'd with her before, you can add some traits that you've noticed come up when you post. If you haven't, the best way to elaborate on a character is to get to know them through roleplaying. They're just like real life people. You can get a snapshot when meeting them, but becoming their friend lets you see other sides of them that you may not have noticed.
I found the phobias intriguing, but it seems like they were added without much thought. Form a background story for her that explains why she has these phobias. If she was born with them, how do they affect her life? What does her family, friends, and enemies thank of them? Everything that you add on that sheet should have some explanation about how these things are used or come up in her life. Try adding a rp sample or quote that elaborates and shows her personality so that it's easier for the person reading the site to understand. (This can be added on every page, actually.)
Hope this helped! It's just my opinion on these characters, and you don't have to accept these suggestions unless you think it's necessary.
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