I do not have the energy to type out everything rn, and im still coming to terms with stuff and figuring it out, but here's a timeline of sorts:
Sexual attracion:
Sometime around June 13 2021: I was bored and thought I'd draw some animals with the colors of different pride flags, and I basically googled 'common sexualities and over the span of a few days I began to find the term 'asexuality', and what I found felt surprisingly familiar to me.
Summer 2021: I looked more into Asexuality since it felt so familiar, not like a new concept but like the name on something I already knew, and I did identify as it online, but I hadn't even thought about telling any of my friends about it
26th February 2022: Big time-jump I know, but it takes me a long time to start thinking about myself in a sort-of new light like this, but during that one week break from school I started thinking about it more and more, and I after I had started writing in a diary I got a much better perspective on myself. And this day I crafted a little
*black ring out of paper that I then covered in glue (so that when it dried it was a little bit like plastic) and used a black marker on it. Im still wearing a black ring though Ive made a few new ones that fit better.
*A black ring on the right middle finger is often used a symbol of Asexuality / The Asexual spectrum
April 7th, 2022: The day after Asexual visibility day, and the first time I ever came out to someone, with that someone being my diary. But it was the first time I ever wrote it down and it existed somewhere outside my head.
April 21st, 2022: We went over different sexualities in class, and our teacher had set up a little game where he would show us a label and we would have to explain it to one person who hadn't seen what it was. Anyway, the first ones were very simple (pansexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, and so on) and they went by easily, but for the last one, we were asked if we wanted to try on a more difficult one as our class voted yes. Well, the term was 'Allosexual' (the opposite of Asexuality, and what is considered ''normal'' the same as heterosexuality is). The term basically exists because of Asexuality, and though between like 95 and 99 % are Allo, it's still mainly known through the Ace(asexual) and Aro(aromantic) communities. I was the only one who raised my hand and I got it right, but I remember that as being the first time I would have felt truly ready to come out, since we later went on to discuss the sexualities further, and it was the first time my sexuality had been validated outside the internet.
About May 30th, 2022: I had planned to come out to a person I trust deeply, but don't see all that often (so if something went wrong it wouldn't be as big of a deal for me) but I couldn't seem to come up with the right words, and constantly finding reasons not to start that conversation (like that we didn't have enough time, there were too many people around, and so on), so I wasn't as ready as I though I was.
I don't hide the fact that I'm ace, I just haven't told another either. Maybe if someone comes out to be about being aro/ace, or recognizes what the ring means I might tell them, but we'll see.
UPDATE! I came out!
June 14: I was at a camp for about one week, and one daily activity we had went as such: Everyone would sit in a circle made out of chairs, and the leader-adult-person would say a statement (such as 'I like pizza') and if you agreed you had to stand up and find another chair, then we would talk about it and all - something I liked since I enjoy hearing other people's thoughts. Anyway, one statement had something to do with relationships and such, and one girl who I didn't know from before mentioned she was aroace in the conversation :
)
It was a very minor thing I know, but I got so excited over it I had to go and run a little bit after it to get out all my energy. After that I finally got the courage to come out. First I asked one of my closest friends (who was also at the camp) to go outside with me for a bit because I needed to talk about something, and after it went over well I did the same with my other freinds, and had planned to continue so but it was already like 7pm so i left it there.
But the next day I mentioned (in that same activity thingy) that I don't feel sexual attraction at all. After it me and that aroace girl talked about asexuailty and such, and it actually felt really nice to have a conversation with someone who got what it was like and all.
Romantic attraction: (ill update this soon)