it would be easier if you were still around |p|

[poppy]

Her sleep was always troubled, as of recently. More frequently than ever as of the recent Clan meeting. Aspenstar could feel the stress, the anxiety, pounding in her skull, her brain was trying to find a way to fix her predicament, but there was nothing. She was clueless. The last meeting was so full of hate... Cats were glaring at her and yowling at her, and Slatepaw ran away and Tawnybird's nose was nearly taken off and Sweetsong was now out in the territory, probably looking for vengeance. Not to mention the probable large group of cats who were harboring dark thoughts and plans.

She couldn't be everywhere, she couldn't be everything for everyone, but she wanted to. Maybe then, ThunderClan would appreciate everything she had done, would do, and was trying to accomplish. She honestly hadn't expected leadership to be this hard. She had thought that it was ceremonies and punishments, with the occasional battle planning, but it was so much deeper.

But this slumber was abnormally peaceful. It was deep, she could tell right before she lost consciousness and drifted to sleep. She welcomed the blackness, but soon felt inclined to open her eyes. Light shone beyond her eyelids, and finally, she blinked awake.

She was in a forest, the stars sparkled above, and it was so unrecognizable, still, it took the masculine Pr-cat a moment to understand that she was dreaming. Right? It was impossible for it to be anything else. Looking around, she tried to take it in. What a stunning, peaceful dream. Life seemed to burst from every corner, and she wondered where she had been brought to by her own subconsciousness.

Perhaps she should call out, try to find another cat. But the quiet and serenity was so beautiful... she didn't want to break it, and it was quite nice to be alone. No kits bursting into her den, attacking her tail. No yowling warriors or hateful apprentices. It was... refreshing, certainly.

She would be able to handle all this better if Gorseflower was still with her. The last she had seen the older cat was during her lives ceremony, looking stronger and more regal than Aspenstar remembered her. She hadn't known the youthful, energetic, lively Gorseflower. She had known the older, wiser, and mellower Gorseflower. Both were wonderful, but it made her happy to see her former mentor so happy and healthy. That was all the closure she needed. Well... mostly.

As she began to walk through the forest, a strange floating sensation about her body, she wondered what kind of dream was this, if she could still feel things. She couldn't usually feel the ground beneath her paws in dreams. Unless she was sleepwalking, but she hadn't run into anything yet. Luckily.

Whatever this was, she liked it. If only she could stay asleep forever... or at least until the chaos fixed itself. Ha. Like that would happen. It was all on her shoulders, she had inherited the leadership and responsibility to fix everything. It also inherently made her somewhat responsible, the head of ThunderClan always took a beating.

Lifting her muzzle to the sky, as the stars glimmered above her, she forced back a frustrated and sad sigh.

Now the silence was suffocating. Turning around, she scanned the undergrowth. ''Hello?'' She called, almost defensively. She didn't want anyone to see her... like this. In this state. It would be humiliating, and how would anyone be able to place their trust in her if she was seen breaking down?

//: @Ziera