if it's all in my mind, why do I live it?(Cloverheart's Nightmares)

[Spartan-117]

TRIGGER WARNINGS: gore, violence, abuse,

Cloverheart is one of my newest characters. I wanted to play out her nightmares because each time, it will help me get who she is a little more. Because these are nightmares, they'll mostly be flashbacks and dream-flashbacks - if you know what I mean.

Please don't post here. This is not a RP - this is only a place for me to play out Cloverheart's nightmares.

((w.i.p))

[Spartan-117]

Cream-and-white fur, bright aqua eyes - she wishes she could just hide, as if she was not there. But the once-beautiful young she-cat closes her eyes to hide- to hide from it all. The darkness closes in around her, and she wants to cry because she hates it. Hates the thought of becoming blind.

~

Opening her eyes, she looks around the forest with her remaining aqua-colored eye. She frowns and opens her maw to call for the cats to come out of the shadows. That's how it always goes, as she recalls. They always jump out at her, attack her. And she's helpless as they scar her. Their claws bury in her skin, claw out her, bite her. Each night, it's repetitive.

Yet she fears it all. Every single night, each time she sleeps.

if this is life... if this is all in my mind as they say, then why do i live it? every single day, every single night-? She asks herself in her mind before she looks in the brush. Looking around again, she curses her weakness. her sight. just... her in general. she hates herself - hates how she's allowed this to happen to her. Her mouth opens again, and she is about to call out those little hiding cowards. "Come on out, cowards. You know the drill." She says, yet filled with dread.

Then a pair of eyes, just like her's were, looks at her. She bolts awake as they jump at her.

((completed))

[Spartan-117]

MIDDLE OF A MEMORY

she is confused. she doesn't remember the forest - she doesn't remember this place. not at all. so why is she here? then a voice behind her clears their throat, and she whirls around, to see a beautiful cat - that looks just like her, but way smaller and with a few black speckles splattered over her body. Cloverheart opens her mouth to ask the cat who she is, but then three more cats appear. she sees that they're a family - the older she-cat smiles at the tom, who purrs. the two little kits play happily, until the larger one pins the small one to the ground. she feels as if this is a ... a memory. the other cats don't see her. but slowly, they change. the kits grow a little older, the father disappears, and the mother is scarred.... then she slowly disappears - slowly fades.

"Momma, don't go!" Cloverheart says, then strides forward. she holds out a paw to the slowly fading cat, until the other is no longer there. tears well in her eyes when the she-cat disappears. "momma... how could you leave me...?"Then she turns around, and the two sisters are fighting. The large one claws the little one's right eye, just as the young she-cat remembers. then another cat darts out of the forest - a black-and-white tuxedo tom with bright green eyes. that cat bites down on her back paw, and the small, wounded she-cat cries out in pain.

"Tide!" She almost screams as she wakes up, the name of her sister warm on her tongue. Her eyes fly open, and she is so confused. tears well in her eyes as she remembers the memories - her father, mother, and her sister. She wonders where her sister is. she remembers how her father had died - a fox had invaded their den. he has fought them off, only to be killed by a falling branch in the thunderstorm. he was crushed - a very sad way to go. she recalls her mother's scream, the look on her face as she stared at her now-dead love. the tears well in her eyes as she recalls her bigger sister.

and the way that it was her sister and another cat who had been the ones who attacked her - scarred her. made her blind. lame.

changed her life.

ruined her life.