RiverClan Medicine Cat's Den

[CheetahPelt]

@esa @Dipper

Otterstone looked away from Fawnsqueak with a frown to the sorry she cat who threw herself at their mercy. She bit her lip softly before padding close to Cloudwillow. She touched her paw to her belly, just to check, and no. No sign of the small heart beats inside the she-cat. “It doesn’t seem like it Cloudwillow.”

[Fawn]

"Kind of seems like I'm streamlining the process if I just do it for you," Fawnsqueak snarked, amused at the childish irritation that he didn't take to heart at first, especially since they didn't even have reeds on paw -- he merely assumed it was a jest. "We're supposed to be working together, y'know?" That thought gave him pause, and his smile fell when he actually looked at her. It occurred to him that Otterstone.. didn't see this as treating RiverClan's patients. She saw this as a competition to outdo him, the patient's treatment coming minimally third after her pride. ...That was dark.

After a long stare, all he could manage was, "You... seriously need help. And not the kind I can give." This wasn't a sick test of who came out on top. It wasn't who could heal the fastest. It was a unified effort to keep the clan healthy.

It disturbed him that Otterstone was willing to toss that to the backburner in favor of her own image. Fawnsqueak didn't know what to say, and he silently lowered his head to return to the storage while Otterstone scuttled off to "score" another patient.

@CheetahPelt

[skreelyshark]

@CheetahPelt @Dipper

Cloudwillow backed out of the den sensing the tension growing between the two cats.

"I really thought I was pregnant this time but thanks Otterstone."she mumbled before turning away and heading into the clearing

[CheetahPelt]

@Dipper

She turned from Cloudwillow leaving the den, to Her eyes betrayed a flash of desperation before it disappeared. She turned, eyes searching the den for her apprentice before following him into the herb store. There she saw the small Tom. She furrowed her brow trying to figure what she wanted to say. She dropped her head and sighed before padding closer. “Fawnsqueak.” She paused looking around before her gaze returned to the red Tom. “I don’t know how to read you.” Her meow was frustrated. Not at the Tom, but at herself? This was difficult for her to bring up, difficult for her to phrase. “Some days it’s like you want nothing to argue and others it seems you want to work together.” She stopped again, waiting to see if he would remark before she continued. She didn’t want this to be an argument. She didn’t want to blame anyone. “I want to do the best for this clan. To prove myself to you and to Lionstar.” Her voice had softened, her meow quiet, almost plaintive. “I want the best for the clan, and I want to do it with you.” She looked around again before snatching up the willow leaves and setting them down between them. Her voice grew stronger. “I’ve brought plants back to expirement with, like Lionstar said to do! I want to do with with you by my side.” She gently put it back, and as she thought, her voice grew softer again, a sincere tone to it. “I don’t want us to be at odds. We should be working together but, I don’t know....” it sounded like she would continue, but she just repeated herself, her voice small. “I justdon’t know.”

[Fawn]

Originally Posted by Rainquail

She shook her head and dropped the herbs. "I only wish I was that impressive. Nah, I had help- a lot of it. I wasnt sure which apprentices were in camp, so I asked for the ones I could thin of- and like 5 offered to help."
Flyfur purred. She was really proud of each of them.
"We spread out through the territory for the herbs, they really weren't in one area." She didn't mention that her original herb collecting partner flaked on her.

@Dipper

Scooting the herbs toward himself, he began aligning it among the rest of the plants and was glad he recognized everything that she'd brought back. "Well, uh, you did pretty good? With your band of apprentices. Sometimes... cats come in here with, like, weeds and stuff." While a nice gesture, that wouldn't be bandaging up any wounds or curing infections. "If you don't mind, maybe you could give them my thanks? Just because.. yeah, you guys must have worked really hard to get all this." He was grateful for the physical distraction of putting herbs away since how flattered he was by the herb-gift left him a little tongue-tied.

[Fawn]

Originally Posted by CheetahPelt

@Dipper

She turned from Cloudwillow leaving the den, to Her eyes betrayed a flash of desperation before it disappeared. She turned, eyes searching the den for her apprentice before following him into the herb store. There she saw the small Tom. She furrowed her brow trying to figure what she wanted to say. She dropped her head and sighed before padding closer. “Fawnsqueak.” She paused looking around before her gaze returned to the red Tom. “I don’t know how to read you.” Her meow was frustrated. Not at the Tom, but at herself? This was difficult for her to bring up, difficult for her to phrase. “Some days it’s like you want nothing to argue and others it seems you want to work together.” She stopped again, waiting to see if he would remark before she continued. She didn’t want this to be an argument. She didn’t want to blame anyone. “I want to do the best for this clan. To prove myself to you and to Lionstar.” Her voice had softened, her meow quiet, almost plaintive. “I want the best for the clan, and I want to do it with you.” She looked around again before snatching up the willow leaves and setting them down between them. Her voice grew stronger. “I’ve brought plants back to expirement with, like Lionstar said to do! I want to do with with you by my side.” She gently put it back, and as she thought, her voice grew softer again, a sincere tone to it. “I don’t want us to be at odds. We should be working together but, I don’t know....” it sounded like she would continue, but she just repeated herself, her voice small. “I justdon’t know.”

Fawnsqueak knew she was there--could tell by the shadow since she blocked the incoming light from the den--but didn't acknowledge her, waiting to see if this was another round of Otterstone breathing down his neck as he organized. The last time was sufficiently unnerving, but he did his best to tune out her presence at least until she directly addressed him.

Evenly, if not a bit bland, he replied, "Otterstone." Her admission didn't cause him to falter because of course she couldn't read him. If she couldn't see the gigantic, glaring truth that stared her down every single day, he couldn't expect her to be able to read a more subtle being. "You've had... thirty moons," that was being nice, "in this Clan--in this forest--and you haven't figured out that we aren't some static... unchanging entity that has a set opinion on everything, with no fluctuating moods?" Not everybody was as stubborn as her, not everybody lived on an island with an echo chamber.

But his rhetorical question was besides the point that was gradually becoming clearer, and he understood where he believed this to be going.

"Here's the thing," Fawnsqueak cleared his throat, "I can want the best for the Clan and not trust you to care for my clanmates effectively. They're not mutually-exclusive. I don't want to work with you, necessarily--not with this, if I had a choice--but it's just something that I have to do because each time you wake up you make this conscious decision of refusing to put your pride aside to actually benefit the clan in some meaningful way. The time for proving yourself is over-- I'm pretty sure both Lionstar and I are over it, so you don't have to even bother." They'd been let down and disappointed enough times to acknowledge reality: it wasn't going to change. There was no reason to expect change after repeated failings. "I don't want to argue with you. I don't want to have to interact with you at all, to be honest. It's nothing personal, it's a matter of... efficiency? I have.. cats I can learn from," ones who'd give him the correct information, "I have respectable clanmates that I'd prefer to spend my time with, I have our patients, I have patients that I need to followup with because they were treated by you. It's exhausting, Otterstone. It's exhausting to have to do the work of one medicine cat and simultaneously play kit-sitter, because I feel like I'm fixing your oversights when I'm not fixing wounds. I don't trust you to do this job, and that isn't going to change. Trusting in you has only burned me, and I get that you have plenty of experience with your patients dying, but I don't. And I don't want to. I can't afford that, okay?"

Fawnsqueak let out a long sigh, his eyes closing momentarily. "It's.. nice of you. It truly is, it's... sweet. Kind of. To want to do this with me, and I'm fine with indulging you." His hopes of the experimentation yielding knowledge weren't high, but it would minimally keep Otterstone busy. "I'm not-- I don't.. want you to think I'm at odds with you." The only personal resentment he had for Otterstone was her illogical desire to continue making more work for him and damaging RiverClan in the process .. based on pride. Fawnsqueak believed that if she wanted to help the clan, she would've done so by facing her shortcomings. "It's more like, I get stressed because I'm.. I'm in this rank that I hate, because of you, and then you keep making my life harder -- I know you don't mean it. It's just... frustrating."

[dino.]

[ @Dipper ]

----Goosefury----

"Hey, Fawnsqueak, hope this isn't a bad time." Goosefury appeared in the entrance of the medicine den, leaning against the side. Yeesh, those trips had really taken a toll on his legs. "I brought the nest stuff you wanted back. It's all by the camp entrance: bracken and moss, and some feathers for some extra softness. Oh, and some heather, too. Might make the den smell good."

[Fawn]

Fawnsqueak had assumed Goosefury forgot about his assignment to gather the nest materials, so it was positively unexpected when he actually arrived with them. A touch on the haggard side, but it was a respectable distance that'd taken its toll on him. "Goosefury?" his question-greeting betrayed his surprise. As he went on to list what he'd brought, it sharpened Fawnsqueak's understanding of why he appeared so burnt out, and he could only nod dumbly, astonished. "Wow, yeah, that's..." It took a second or two to fully process. "That's a really great haul, man." Fawnsqueak moved to brush past Goosefury but paused, opened his mouth, debated. There was something about getting rest on the tip of his tongue but it fizzled into something small and uncertain.

"You look.. pretty tired there," he finally said, gaze averted, ".. should probably give your legs a rest for a while." That was.. normal. Appropriate. Not weird.

He cleared his throat to carry on from that, heading out to collect the materials that Goosefury had deposited by the entrance.

@Slushie

[dino.]

[ @Dipper ]

----Goosefury----

He shrugged. Great haul? Not really... now that he gazed over his shoulder at the collection of stuff, it looked much smaller than he had originally thought. "I mean, it took a couple of trips, but I wouldn't call it that great? It's just... stuff, y'know?" Although secretly he was pleased that Fawnsqueak was pleased, and he stood a little bit straighter.
His eyes widened slightly in surprise as Fawnsqueak paused once more to speak to him on the way out. His brows furrowed in confusion. What was with the awkwardness of that sentence? The uncertain tone? It wasn't as if Goosefury was going to snap at Fawnsqueak for telling him to rest - getting some sleep had been his plan anyway. "Uh, yeah, I'll... I'll do that." He blinked after Fawnsqueak as he left the den, and then he himself turned and ducked out, heading towards the warriors' den to get some sleep.

[furrensic]

[ @Dipper // + 4 marigold , + 2 horsethorn , +2 cobwebs ]

“Fawnsqueak!” Oakflame called out as he padded into the den. He had gathered up the herbs both Spiderpaw and he had manage to get at the border. It wasn't the easiest job carrying so many , but he wouldn't complain about it. Putting the herbs in a little stack that he liked to think would be easy to sort through , he spoke up again now that his mouth wasn't filled with the herbs. “I got the herbs,” The tom said , gesturing to the herbs. He probably didn't need to say that , since either Fawnsqueak or Otterstone would see them sooner or later. “It's not really a lot?” Well , personally , he wasn't sure if it was a lot or not. Kind of...in between. Not too much but not too few of the herbs. “Sorry about that! Spiderpaw and I had a bit of a hard time finding them. Turns out sedgewater valley probably isn't the best place to look for herbs.” He said with a light laugh.