// @BILL. | @x ghostie - closing this out. Rip my love ;-; tw: depression spirals @Zero in case you want to see too <33
All Ottersplash’s life he took risks - leaned a little too far over the rail because he romanticized the idea of falling. He flirted with death so often it didn't believe him anymore when he promised to commit, but a part of Otter wondered. When would these adrenaline rushes stop being enough? When would he go too far and tip over the edge?
Huh…funny, Ottersplash didn’t think today was the day. He hadn't even been trying.
It all happened so fast. Sweetsong stole him easily, like a bird of prey snatching up a kitten. Otter barely had time to register that he was being used to hurt Wormbite when his head was jerked up at a painful angle, and suddenly, the battle was forgotten. Tears pricked at the corners of large amber eyes and Otter's chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. Was it time? …He hoped Worm wouldn’t take it too hard.
Ottersplash tried to focus on the clouds overhead. They swirled in marble patterns, their popcorn edges lit by rays of new light and…it was pretty. After a lifetime distracting himself from taking some final plunge, Ottersplash faced a bitter realization when Sweetsong finally tore him open: he didn’t want to die.
Panic set in. Who would make sure Plumstorm woke up every day – would notice if she wasn't around? There was...so much he never got to know about her. What cat was gonna describe breathtaking sunsets and oddly colored feathers to Wormbite because it made him happy, or take Briarpaw out for training? What about Fireflower and her kits? The pitiful way Otter’s paws dabbed at his neck confirmed it: he wasn’t ready to die hewasn’tready.
But Otter was going to. Funny how that worked, how someone else could just…decide for you when your time was up. Ottersplash’s flimsy paw-pressing failed to staunch the bleeding, which made sense, cause hah…he was never so good at keeping himself together. Darkness invaded more and more until all the physical pain slipped away; the last images in his head were of blue eyes and a smile like home, the tom he loved, the one who walked his dreams.
A tom watched from among the stars, tears in those blue eyes of his. He couldn't turn away as Sweetsong's claws tore across that vulnerable throat... as scarlet blood gushed from the wound... as Ottersplash breathed his last breath.
He felt helpless, only able to watch over them and hope that nobody got hurt. If he was still among the living, fighting with his clanmates, would it have made a difference? Could he have saved his best friend, the love of his life, from the grip of death? It was wishful thinking: fate always had other ideas.
In his eyes, Ottersplash wasn't supposed to die yet. He was supposed to live a full life. He was supposed to find his happiness again, maybe start a family, live a long life and grow old. It might have been hard to watch, but that was all he had wished for his love in the end.
Coastbreeze let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and went to him, weaving his way down from the stars. He touched his nose to that forehead, nuzzled his face into his fur, breathing in his scent. Starclan, he hadn't realized how much he had missed him.
"It's time to wake up," He murmured softly, thinking to himself. How many times had he'd woken Ottersplash up early in the morning or late at night, or vice versa, throughout their lives? As kits, as apprentices, as warriors: it had just become their thing. And now it was as members of StarClan. That was a bitter-sweet thought.
He briefly wondered if Ottersplash would be mad at him for dying without saying goodbye... It did seem like a likely quarrel to come, though he really couldn't have helped it. He swallowed hard, struggling. He didn't know whether to feel angry for Ottersplash dying, guilty of being dead first, or just plain happy to get to talk to him again.
"If you don't get up I'm going to sit on you," Coco echoed from one of their last interactions, his voice breaking at the end. He sheepishly waited for Ottersplash to come to, pulling away. His blue eyes were wet with tears, but that smile of his was there.
Coco? Otter was more disoriented than usual. His consciousness swam up from the depths of some cold abyss before breaking through the surface at last, tugged along by the sound of his voice. A bittersweet smile rolled lazily over Otter's face as his eyes stayed closed.
..He could stay like this forever. That familiar scent washed over Otter's senses like a balm, so achingly near to the real thing it stirred gentle warmth under his skin that spread throughout his whole being.
Time to wake up...huh?
Ottersplash blinked once, twice. Stared up into those beautiful ocean eyes (filled with tears? That was new) which were always…captivating. So close to what he remembered. (Ha, Ott was getting better at this. Not the tears part, that wasn’t right, but everything else.) Ottersplash pushed himself up to look at Coastbreeze, drank in the sight of him until a pang of hurt cut through the haze.
He flinched, because...those words…no, his subconscious took it too far this time. Honey eyes blurred. Otter didn’t know why he felt like crying; drawing on memories was like trying to read someone’s lips from too far away. Right now all he got were faint impressions of—badstuff. It was hard to describe? An uneasy feeling, as if Ottersplash just narrowly escaped something awful. It made him shiver.
“Coastbreeze,” Otter whispered in a voice too quiet for him. His inhales started wobbling like the delicate smile—oh so sad—on his mouth, and it was all he could do to handle this surge of emotion with some type of composure. “How long do we have this time?” He asked, not realizing yet. Not understanding that this wasn't like his usual Coastbreeze dreams. They were dead.
Well...he knew he should stop doing this. Dreaming of Coast, but didn’t want to. He wasn’t fully ready to let go yet. All Ottersplash wanted was to wake up in his nest in the warrior’s den, find Coastbreeze sleeping soundly beside him (or maybe with him.) He just wanted RiverClan to feel like home again.
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Hiatus
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Full hiatus except for a couple threads I hope to finish up, ily all <3
Coastbreeze's breath caught slightly as honey browns met his ocean blues, realizing how much he missed just looking into those golden eyes of his. His heartbeat sped in his chest as he realized he could actually talk to his best friend again, that this was actually real now that he'd come face to face with his Ott. However, his smile wavered slightly at the emotions that crossed his features as the tom began to fully awake, his heart quaking in the aftermath.
He physically shuddered as Otter whispered to him and for a moment, he didn't want to pop Ottersplash's bubble - to hurt him with this news. That initial excitement drained from him as quickly as it came, his heart aching in its wake. It wasn't easy, learning that you died, that you were leaving loved ones behind. He would know that well.
Sandy brown ears tilted back, those blue eyes turning so sad as he suddenly felt guilty that he'd been even a bit happy about this situation. This wouldn't be easy for either of them. He tried swallowing the emotions back, knowing they usually made Ottersplash as uncomfortable as him.
As he failed and those tears finally fell, he leaned forward and rested his head on Ottersplash's shoulder to conceal himself - barely resisting the urge to completely melt against the warmth of him. "I'm sorry," He mewed softly, not knowing the proper way to tell him. "Look around." The tom steadied himself against him. "...I've got you."
May we meet again
