Just Your Problem

[Neptune.]

──⇌••⇋──
Sorry I don't treat you like a goddess,
is that what you want me to do?
Sorry I don't treat you like you're perfect
like all your loyal little subjects do.
──⇌••⇋──

Sunpaw // ThC // she/her // 7 moons
sun - bright orange pelt
paw - rank

======

- argumentative, pessimistic, cold, closed off
= sensitive
+ motivated, strong-willed

──⇌••⇋──
Sorry I'm not made of sugar,
am I not sweet enough for you?
Is that why you always avoid me?
I must be such an inconvenience to you, well,
I'm just your problem.
──⇌••⇋──

relations

Father: Romeo; an f3 bengal kittypet owned by a breeder [NPC]
Mother: Cottondove (formerly), Maxine (current); a ginger classic tabby kittypet [NPC]
Siblings: Lightkit; a tan, rosetted tom kitten [stillborn] // Nettlekit (formerly), Candy (current); a tan and ginger classic torbie molly [NPC, living w/ Romeo and Maxine] // Unnamed brother [to be adopted out]

Mentor: Cougarshade [ @/heirgloom ]
Training Tracker

Friends: TBD

──⇌••⇋──
Im just your problem,
it's like I'm not even a person, am I?
I'm just your problem.
──⇌••⇋──

story

Sunpaw does not know her father, she does not want to know her father. All she needs to know is that he’s a good for nothing twoleg pet and she’ll hate him until the day she dies. Why does she hate him? Oh, that’s simple - because him and his stupid face convinced her mom to up and leave her the moment she was weaned. Was this a fair reason to hate him? Yes. And Sunpaw will not be taking any other opinions on that matter.

For what the information is worth, her father was an f3 bengal named Romeo and quite the charming fellow. He’d been a bit of an adventurer too, and found his way into ThunderClan territory while her mom, Cottondove, was on a solo patrol. Cottondove was stupid and naive and allowed the kittypet to smooth talk her, eventually forming a close relationship with him. One thing led to another, and she had his kits, two girls and two boys… though one of the boys, Lightkit, was stillborn. Even before she was weaned, Sunpaw - then, Sunkit - knew her mother wished more than anything to be away from the nursery. She’d take every chance she could get to escape while her kits were little and, eventually, once they were weaned, she left without a word to anyone.

Vaguely, Sunpaw remembers there being a search for her, being so distressed that her mother was gone, until one of the queens in the nursery brought her and her siblings aside to tell them what had happened. Their mother ran away to become a kittypet with her mate. Sunpaw didn’t think she had ever in her life felt as abandoned or hated in that moment.

In that moment, Sunpaw decided that she hated both her mother and her father. Her father for taking her mother away from her, and her mother for being stupid enough to leave her alone. But, mostly, she hated herself, plagued by questions of whether she was good enough or not. Maybe that’s really why mom left? Because Sunpaw was the most disappointing daughter ever and she needed to get away from her. But that wasn’t fair to her brother and sister! If Sunpaw was the problem, why leave them here? Why not take them along? Was this a punishment? Who was it meant to be punishing? Whoever the punishment is for, Sunpaw withdraws from her siblings, doesn’t pay them any mind. Maybe they’ll decide to leave too.

One of them does. Now it’s just Sunpaw and her brother. She tries not to get too close to him. She doesn’t want him to leave because of her too.

──⇌••⇋──
I shouldn't have to justify what I do.
I shouldn't have to prove anything to you.
I'm sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist, but,
I shouldn't be the one that has to make up with you, so,
why do I want to?
Why do I want to?
──⇌••⇋──