Moon's clearing(Open)

[Red'fur]

Stem padded into the clearing and spotted Storm. She turned around and started to stalk off. She didn't want to deal with him anymore.
______________________________
@StarWatcher

[gs29513]

Moon's head swung almost immediately to the presence, eyes widening as a sudden burst of......something struck her head and her heart. Her head began to pound, her heart also escalating its frantic tempo as memories threatened to squirt through the firm, firm barricade she had been maintaining for well on a week now. Their voice was familiar, and it took only an instant upon making eye contact for the walls to crack completely. Rookscreech. Rookie. This cat who she had been about to turn away, was Rookie. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. Storm was long forgotten in the horrible confusion of emotions, although the word 'Windclan' slithered into her ears before it was swept away by the tide of emotions again, joy and fear and shame flitting across her face like swallows across the rising sun.

Stepping forward, the reason she was in this situation, appearance, everything forgotten, Deadmoon moved to embrace her friend. But she had only made it a few steps, a desperate Rookie..... trailing from her lips before she realized that she was here, in this place, in this state, because she had LEFT Rookie. Left her best friend to avoid losing her in a way she couldn't control. Which meant shame, overwhelming shame that came gushing up from the pit of her stomach, rushing into her heart and head like the pounding waves of Seastones.

Still, she couldn't leave the situation unaddressed, and mewed with a degree of formality, hesitant and unsure if she was allowed to address Rookscreech as a friend No, you....you don't have to leave. You are welcome to remain here as.....as long as you want. It wasn't much, pathetic even, but it was something that...probably wouldn't end in complete destruction. Deadmoon was painfully aware that if her friend Rookscreech wanted to start a fight, she would be unable to win. Both because of her physical weakness and because hurting Rookscreech was simply unthinkable. But....what was she meant to do in this situation? Sorry I ditched you without a word and now I'm here going partially mad convinced I'll 'get over it'? That....didn't sound right somehow. @Shade. @StarWatcher

[Shade.]

@gs29513
@~StinkyStinky

Rookscreech had expected to be ignored. She had expected to not be recognized. Expected to be hissed at. She hadn't expected a hug. The tall skinny cat had been holding back tears, reasoning that there was no point crying over someone who did not care about her, over her own stupidity, making the mistake of trusting others and getting attached to them over and over again. But when she saw recognition in her friend's eyes, heard that dumb nickname she loved, she let a few tears slip out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She held her friend tight, awkwardly trying to rub some of the tears off in her friend's floof, she didn't wanna seem whiny and soppy or anything. Eventually, when she pulled away enough to just look at Moon's face, her face split into a sad but somehow warm grin.

"I missed you so much. Gatherings get way too boring without you, you know. Too much random murder." she laughed, covering up her emotions with morbid humor as usual, but tears were still streaming down her face.

[gs29513]

This…..was an unexpected reaction. Deadmoon had expected anger, she knew how Rookscreech felt about cats pretending to care about her and then leaving. But instead, a hug. Rookscreech had missed her. That was the first time anyone had ever said those words to Deadmoon, and combined with everything else she was unable to maintain any bit of dignity she had managed to retain. Sobbing unashamedly into Rookie’s shoulder she squeezed her friend tight, face buried deep in the other’s fur as she croakingly chuckled at the other’s joke.

“I’m sorry. I’m…..so sorry.” She choked, when she was able to speak again. I was worried that…..that Dawnstar would…. she couldn’t finish the sentence. She couldn’t, not yet. So I…I left. Ran away. I was scared, for….for you and what losing you would do to…to me. It was all so stupid in hindsight, but Rookie deserved to know why this was happening, why Deadmoon had done this, had abandoned? maybe she had, oh stars she had abandoned Rookie. Oh stars, oh stars. She was about to lose Rookie again, wasn’t she? She should have lied, but no, now she was going to lose her friend for a second time.
@Shade. (Sorry for the slows)

[Shade.]

@gs29513

Rookscreech let her walls down and treasured the hug. You didn't get many of those in ShadowClan. She felt bad, like she was making Deadmoon apologize. She felt so helpless.

When Deadmoon spoke about why she'd left, Rookscreech's eyes widened. At first, her brain lingered on the last part. Ah, seems reasonable, distancing yourself for your own good, that made sense. She was used to that mindset, often applying it herself. But then she thought about it and her eyes grew even wider. She...hadn't done this for herself, she'd done it For Rookscreech. No one had ever done anything for Rookscreech. The intense pain she'd felt when she realized Finchpaw was gone had grown to be a numb feeling in her heart, she was sure they'd been friends, but they had not yet spend time together to truly do something for each other. This was strange. She was used to being cast aside. Cats spoke to her, "befriended her", but if something better came along they'd leave her immediately. That's just how the world worked. She felt such strange feelings, thinking about how someone would leave their clan, leave her, because someone might do something to her because of their friendship. Her cold, logical side tried to reinforce that Deadmoon is emotional and she probably had ulterior motives, but her heart silenced it.

After being overwhelmed with gratitude she suddenly felt her heart drop with guilt and responsibility. She needed to help her friend. She needed to be there for her, to do something to make it all better. After this care was shown to her, she needed to learn to care in turn.

"Don't...don't be sorry. Please. I-I'm sorry...for worrying you." she said, trying not to sob. I want to help you, let me help you.

[gs29513]

Why was Rookie apologizing? It made no sense, nothing in the past moon had made sense to Deadmon, and she was so TIRED of things not making sense. Some.....impulse welled within her, called for her to just get away from the confusion, the muddled feelings which she couldn't understand and certainly couldn't fix. But the rest of her silenced this small, niggling doubt, informing it that if it had such traitorous thoughts it could go and leap into a lake for all she cared, or else SHUT UP. She was still confused though.

Sniffling as she continued to hug Rookscreech, Deadmoon tried to chuckle, to lighten the mood. How about we just......agree on no apologizing....hmm? And....also no dying. Dying is.....not allowed. she suggested, despite the knowledge that wouldn't actually fix anything, really. It would allow them to try to behave normally, but at SOME point they would have to talk about it. But, as selfish as it was, she didn't want that moment to be now. She wanted to just enjoy the fact that she had her friend back, through no brilliance of her own of course, but she had Rookie back.

Actually, that raised the question, why WAS Rookie out here? This was quite far away from clan territory, that was one thing Deadmoon had made sure of when she had still been in a stable state of mind after leaving, so it couldn't be a simple deviation from patrols. Rookie hardly seemed the type to get lost, her senses were always on point as far as Deadmoon could tell, and the surprise that her friend had shown upon seeing her, the disbelief, implied that her absence hadn't been the primary cause for Rookie's absence from Shadowclan. Well, no way to find out but ask she supposed. Why are you all the way out here anyway? she inquired, voice a bit steadier. She wasn't actively bawling, but she wasn't ready to let go just yet. Not for a while probably.
@Shade.

[Shade.]

@gs29513

Rookscreech was fully aware dying was always an option whether you wanted it to be or now, and she was also aware that Moon knew the same. She wasn't about to say it though. Plus, perhaps when you had others to live for you tried harder. As for not apologizing, she agreed. Taking blame, throwing blame, it was no good. What was good was they had reunited.
"Agreed." she sniffed. She didn't really want to let go either.

The next question had a seemingly simple answer.
"I kind of messed up on patrol and got exiled for a week." she explained. Of course, that was the full answer to that question. However, she felt there was more to be said on the topic in general.
"I don't...know if I want to go back after that though. ShadowClan's been...well, as unwelcoming as ever, but on top of that we have no deputy and are lacking in herbs. No wonder our patrols goofed up. Dawnstar is on a little adventure taking over ThunderClan or something like that. Plus, I was thinking I could start over elsewhere..." she said, letting the thoughts that had been trapped in her mind for the past few days out.

[gs29513]

(I am, once again, very sorry for the slowness) @Shade.
Huh. Ok, so it seems like Dawnstar was having troubles in her clan as well. Wolfie had needed to resort to temporary exiles to get patrols completed, although it had worked as far as Deadmoon could tell. And.....Rookie wanted to leave. Which, let's be real, Deadmoon was thrilled about. She was NOT going to try and discourage her friend from getting away from that evil Dawnstar, she hated that cat for numerous reasons, and so if Rookie wanted to not live there anymore she would fully support that. But....maybe she shouldn't act too thrilled? Oh, who cares!

With a happy purr, she squeezed Rookscreech a little tighter(hopefully she didn't pop!) I know I shouldn't be happy about this, but I am so thrilled you have no IDEA! What do you think you want to do? Travel the world? Hang around but stay a rogue? Join another clan? It went without saying, of course, that Deadmoon was MORE than happy to join Rookscreech on ANY of those adventures. Only one possibility would really dismay her. As long as you're not counting on becoming a kittypet, count me in! she amended, because really, that was the one thing she would NEVER do, not even for Rookie. Hang around and visit sure, but nope, twolegs scared the heck out of her and she was getting no closer than necessary.

[Shade.]

@gs29513

Rookscreech was very surprised at Deadmoon's excitement and even more surprised at her readiness to join her. She never would have insisted on her joining as she didn't want to disturb her life and individual thinking, so the fact that Deadmoon wanted to come anyway made her heart fill with joy. Some of that joy probably leaked out of her face when Deadmoon squeezed her so hard she wheezed but nevertheless returned the tight hug.

"Oh darn, my plan has been foiled! No, I thought about it and decided no. I...was thinking of joining WindClan. You guys seemed like the only cats that had their act together. But if you don't want to go back...I'd rather go wherever you want." she said.