Goldfish was smart enough to know Minkpaw's brain was working hard and assessing the situation. And apparently she wasn't the only one. Swanberry seemed to pop up out of nowhere and watched. This didn't bother her. Maybe Swanberry wanted to approach, but didn't know how to. After all, the only problem she had was morning sickness and everyone seemed to think she was going to die- OWH- But she was used to pain.
Goldfish gave the she-cat a friendly nod, and croaked, We're good! Just some morning sickness. Another stabbing pain and jab from her stomach made her shrink back in her nest, and then... it was fading. Relieved that bout was almost over, Goldfish ate the leaves, pausing for a moment to think of how unsanitary this may be. Oh, well. The bitter herby-ness was no problem, really. She'd expected something rancid. This just tasted like dirt and... well, herbs. The aftertaste was worse, but the warning Minkpaw had given her was nothing but amusing now that she'd actually had the bitter, dirt-tasting herbs.
Another jab from her stomach made her wonder if it was really fading. She hoped so, prayed so. With a grunt, she said, Think this bout is fading. It's like that sometimes. It comes full-force, knocks you off your feet, and then it just... leaves. She pondered if the information could assist Minkpaw. She hoped it could. Being useless was her worst nightmare. No, that was a lie. Sitting still for more that a few hours was her worst nightmare. She got all twitchy and jittery. Boo, no fun, no fun at all.
She rubbed her muzzle briefly against Spotty's before doing the same to Jayfrost. She was quite fond fact that they cared so much about her. It touched her heart. It really, really touched her heart.
Garlic Feather
Purrks; Just a scratch| Beefed up tier 2|
He-Him { River Clan } Warrior
GarlicFeather had his mind on important things, rocks, the recent death of his mate who’d never know he was sorry, rocks again. In fact he was pretty much just mindlessly thinking for the moment, caught up in an itty bitty daydream. Every now or then he’d surface to reality and glance around, everycat was still doing their own thing, good to know. And then back into all the questions he had that will never be answered, not for a long time at least. Every now or then he’d scratch at the injury upon his neck of which had grown insufferable now, but he couldn’t really be bothered to go to the medicine den right now- or at least until the medicine den came to him. Blinking as some apprentice- whom he swore he recognised- Mink Paw! That’s right, the apprentice he went on that herb patrol with, came toward him. Garlic Feather found himself struggling to give a reasonable reply, running silently through all the things he should and shouldn’t say to someone who knew their way around herbs. ‘Oh! Mink paw? How are you we haven’t spoken in ages!’ a sly little distraction from the question if he did say so himself. In terms of said injury upon his neck it only stung a little, from what he could tell, but it was getting a bit too annoying now, not to mention the fact that all the itching was making it feel worse-‘Ah from the raid, well I’ve just been extra busy lately you know? A lots been going down afterall.’ Mindless chitchat, honestly Garlic Feather had started off in an okay mood, but he couldn’t really call this mood ‘okay’ anymore, if anything he’d call it ‘mildly agitated but I’ll act like im jolly’ sounds about right. Garlic Feather considered what he was doing before, sitting around, mentally mourning. All the boring things one does when they have nothing to actually do, and decided he’d rather the chit chat, or more accurately. He would rather be run his tongue like a river. ‘Say I haven’t seen you round much, how come?’ another question, hopefully all his odd attitude would deter the topic of treating the injury.
(My brains getting more scrambled per post )
(i cant look at garlic and his infected wounds without going insane any longer /j. @Fritter )
(the first version of this post was better man this is so sad)
"yeah we havent, but stop distracting from the question i asked." she replied firmly, putting the possibility of distraction or steering the conversation anywhere else off the table. the hypothetical table. "im sure you were busy, but you look pretty free right now eh? you'll be out in a minute" the apprentice hummed, gently nodding along her own sentence, more so a repetitive behaviour she sometimes engaged in than actually 'agreeing' or trying to convince garlicfeather to agree with her point.
striped tail flicking behind her she circled the tom before nudging him in the direction of the med den, presence to the side-behind him hopefully motivating enough for him to start walking.
he was walking and she had left her position halfway behind him to walk by his side instead, quietly humming at the question, "been busy, you know? raid healing, training, that kind'a stuff" she shrugged, "but i think it wasnt actually that, i feel like you were avoiding me." she continued, tone wavering between teasing and genuinely questioning.
she slowed down, white paws tapping the ground impatiently, as she let garlicfeather slip into the medicine den first. "wont be long i promise" she ensured the warrior, giving him another serious look before turning to leave the center of the den, twisting around the corner that separated the mouth of the tunnel from the herb storage.
her first choice wouldve been chervil, but instead of choosing a herb she was familiar with she considered using one of the herbs she knew but had barely ever used. they stared at the herbs for a while, marigold and yellowbells came to mind immediately but especially after the lack of herbs they had had for so long minkpaw was hesitant to use more than one plant if not entirely necesarry, so in the end, she returned with a chervil leaf.
__________________
"i wish things were different, but it werent us who changed."
[ birth/pregnancy related stuff - no actual birthing or anything but could potentially make someone uncomfy ]
"id give you something for the taste but we cant really hand out stuff left and right right now and youre not a kit so you'll be fine" minkpaw apologized, except not really, but it didnt matter, goldfish seemed to be doing a bit better and perhaps goldfish took it as jokingly enough to have a little laugh maybe. "goldfish have you eaten yet? i havent seen you-" she focussed her gaze on jayfrost, "by the prey pile yet either, maybe i can get you two something when you feel better hm goldfish?" should she have included spottedstream- no, spottedstream was fine and a grown warrior she could get her food herself, no need to baby another grown warrior. "oh! and please please please tell me earlier next time when something is wrong, okay?" minkpaw instructed, tone switching from a light hearted suggestion the previous sentence to a more serious one, additionally seeking eye contact, something she rarely ever engaged in.
one last thing, one last thing was bugging her, the need to get her paws on goldfishs stomach, feel the kits moving beneath her paws like mossfreckle had described. "can i-?" she nodded vaguely at goldfishs stomach, remaining still, awaiting the answer, before shuffling closer, hoping spottedstream would move out of the way. white tipped ears flicked as she thought back to mossfreckles lesson, their words replaying in her mind, still fresh and clear, yet to be swallowed by the fog coating her mind, and leaned back on her hind legs to gently put her paws to goldfishs stomach. minkpaw had to admit hadnt seen many pregnant mollies in her life, not closeup anyway, never had any good relationships with she cats older than her and didnt form bonds with any of the queens due to her pretty much non existent stay in the nursery, so to say she was feeling a bit awkward, paws on goldfish stomach and all, was an understatement. regardless of how awkward she felt, she swallowed the lingering discomfort, pushing any thoughts surrounding her own feelings to the back of her mind, and focussed on the movement beneath her paws. like her enlarged stomach had suggested, minkpaw could feel several semi still semi moving..limbs? perhaps it was limbs, perhaps something else, but it was pretty clear to the apprentice that this wasnt just regular nausea or bloating.
off white paws shifted, ghosting over the movement again, hopefully ingraining the feeling in her mind, before letting off and returning to a proper seated position rather than the balancing game she had played, balancing on her hind legs. "well..im no expert but im pretty sure youre pregnant"
@blxze., @Breaking Dawn ( ceo of run on sentences so long you get lost halfway through (im talking about myself) )
__________________
"i wish things were different, but it werent us who changed."
[ birth/pregnancy related stuff - no actual birthing or anything but could potentially make someone uncomfy ]
"id give you something for the taste but we cant really hand out stuff left and right right now and youre not a kit so you'll be fine" minkpaw apologized, except not really, but it didnt matter, goldfish seemed to be doing a bit better and perhaps goldfish took it as jokingly enough to have a little laugh maybe. "goldfish have you eaten yet? i havent seen you-" she focussed her gaze on jayfrost, "by the prey pile yet either, maybe i can get you two something when you feel better hm goldfish?" should she have included spottedstream- no, spottedstream was fine and a grown warrior she could get her food herself, no need to baby another grown warrior. "oh! and please please please tell me earlier next time when something is wrong, okay?" minkpaw instructed, tone switching from a light hearted suggestion the previous sentence to a more serious one, additionally seeking eye contact, something she rarely ever engaged in.
one last thing, one last thing was bugging her, the need to get her paws on goldfishs stomach, feel the kits moving beneath her paws like mossfreckle had described. "can i-?" she nodded vaguely at goldfishs stomach, remaining still, awaiting the answer, before shuffling closer, hoping spottedstream would move out of the way. white tipped ears flicked as she thought back to mossfreckles lesson, their words replaying in her mind, still fresh and clear, yet to be swallowed by the fog coating her mind, and leaned back on her hind legs to gently put her paws to goldfishs stomach. minkpaw had to admit hadnt seen many pregnant mollies in her life, not closeup anyway, never had any good relationships with she cats older than her and didnt form bonds with any of the queens due to her pretty much non existent stay in the nursery, so to say she was feeling a bit awkward, paws on goldfish stomach and all, was an understatement. regardless of how awkward she felt, she swallowed the lingering discomfort, pushing any thoughts surrounding her own feelings to the back of her mind, and focussed on the movement beneath her paws. like her enlarged stomach had suggested, minkpaw could feel several semi still semi moving..limbs? perhaps it was limbs, perhaps something else, but it was pretty clear to the apprentice that this wasnt just regular nausea or bloating.
off white paws shifted, ghosting over the movement again, hopefully ingraining the feeling in her mind, before letting off and returning to a proper seated position rather than the balancing game she had played, balancing on her hind legs. "well..im no expert but im pretty sure youre pregnant"
@blxze., @Breaking Dawn ( ceo of run on sentences so long you get lost halfway through (im talking about myself) )
She watched as Minkpaw nervously drew her paws up and asked reluctantly to place her paws on her stomach. Yeah. she murmured. Goldfish tried not to tense up at another fierce wave of pain. The paws of her companion were rested firmly atop her flank, so she took the time to glance around.
For a brief moment she tried to catch Spotty's sapphire-hued gaze, but she looked away rather quickly. Trying to take your mind off of something like being in a doctors office Medicine den isn't always the... easiest thing to accomplish. She looked toward the herb stores, then to Jayfrost, then to Minkpaw again. She tried not to fidget, but her tail flicked slightly as she awaited the diagnosis.
"I'm pretty sure you're pregnant."
No. No, no, no, no, no. No no no. Bad. Red alert. Sirens were going off in her head, and she just stared at Minkpaw, nothing to say, nothing to do. Just... stared. What was she supposed to say? No words came out. Her mouth moved silently, but she looked around, as though unsure of where she was for a moment. She needed to speak, needed to say something. But sound wouldn't come out. After a few seconds more, she choked out; I... I-I... Cormorant." Not exactly the ideal thing to say, and he eyes stared despairingly at her sister for a moment. She then, distressed, turned to Minkpaw. No. No, no, no, no no. I... I'm a warrior. Not a queen. No, no, no, no, no. She stammered, eyes wide as she continued to turn and look at each of her companions in turn.
There was only one real, scary thing on her mind. One thing that would stick, one thing that scared her witless. Not having kits. Being a mother. She didn't want to be struck in the nursery. But there was something bigger. Something stuck behind her lips. She turned to Spotty, eyes desperate, mouth open. Cormorant.
_______________________________________
| @alec | @Breaking Dawn | [To me you are forever Bean]
__________________
"Prepare for the horrors
This night will keep repeating over and over
And over
Until you make it to the end"
minkpaw had sensed the discomfort in goldfish, odd movement and a sort of restlessness as he paws had ghosted along her bloated stomach, but she hadnt expected a reaction this negative. she had expected goldfish to be uncomfortable with minkpaw touching her stomach, uncomfortable to be so out in the open with her problems, all eyes on her, but not this direct, deeply negative reaction. she remained quiet at first, almost sure the cats surrounding her could hear her brain working, before she was able to catch herself again, switching back to serious from the utter shock that had turned her mind into mush and made foggy uncertainty cover her vision. "its okay, you dont have to be a queen" she spoke, words overlapping with jayfrosts briefly as she shifted the lavender closer to the pregnant molly to have her inhale its scent and hopefully calm down a bit. "you dont have to a queen. but i need you to calm down a bit so we can think about a solution, okay?"
jayfrost shifted to press closer to goldfishs side, tabbied tail curling to wrap around his friend comfortingly, and no matter how awkward and overwhelmed he felt with goldfishs reaction, none of these emotions seemed to reach the level of minkpaws blank, awkward stare. the apprentices tense silence near deafening amongst goldfishs upset voice, jayfrost had decided it was his responsibility to coax the situation away from supercritical and more towards wont-make-apprentice-freeze-up. "hey its fine goldfish, its fine, youre not alone" he muttered, briefly unaware of minkpaw repeating more or less the same thing he said but adding "yeah, uh you dont have to look after the kits i can do it" when he caught up with what she had said. the realisation of what he had just offered and what thatd mean for him only sank in a few seconds later, but even so, he wouldnt take it back.
(wehhh this is so bad)
__________________
"i wish things were different, but it werent us who changed."
minkpaw had sensed the discomfort in goldfish, odd movement and a sort of restlessness as he paws had ghosted along her bloated stomach, but she hadnt expected a reaction this negative. she had expected goldfish to be uncomfortable with minkpaw touching her stomach, uncomfortable to be so out in the open with her problems, all eyes on her, but not this direct, deeply negative reaction. she remained quiet at first, almost sure the cats surrounding her could hear her brain working, before she was able to catch herself again, switching back to serious from the utter shock that had turned her mind into mush and made foggy uncertainty cover her vision. "its okay, you dont have to be a queen" she spoke, words overlapping with jayfrosts briefly as she shifted the lavender closer to the pregnant molly to have her inhale its scent and hopefully calm down a bit. "you dont have to a queen. but i need you to calm down a bit so we can think about a solution, okay?"
jayfrost shifted to press closer to goldfishs side, tabbied tail curling to wrap around his friend comfortingly, and no matter how awkward and overwhelmed he felt with goldfishs reaction, none of these emotions seemed to reach the level of minkpaws blank, awkward stare. the apprentices tense silence near deafening amongst goldfishs upset voice, jayfrost had decided it was his responsibility to coax the situation away from supercritical and more towards wont-make-apprentice-freeze-up. "hey its fine goldfish, its fine, youre not alone" he muttered, briefly unaware of minkpaw repeating more or less the same thing he said but adding "yeah, uh you dont have to look after the kits i can do it" when he caught up with what she had said. the realisation of what he had just offered and what thatd mean for him only sank in a few seconds later, but even so, he wouldnt take it back.
(wehhh this is so bad)
CW: Sensitive topics of abuse and murderder
Goldfish had never shaken her black-and-yellow head firmer. What? Of course she'd look after her own kits! That... that was the scary part. Cormorantcrash had been a good mom before Silverkit died. A really good mom. But after she'd frozen to death? No more nice mother.
And she had a mind to say so. Had a mind to tell them everything she and Spotty had been through. Abuse. Neglect. Disowning. Ignorance. AND HER FRIGGIN' STOMACH HURT! Starclan, this was making her moods lose control. It was kiiiiiind of hard to focus when off and on threats of nausea dance around your head. Very, very hard, actually. Goldfish set a firm, rigid stare on Minkpaw. I'm looking after theses friggin' kits. Sorry, sorry, that sounded harsh. She apologized immediately. Too harsh. It sounded mean.
When me and Spottedstream were kittos, our mother was perfect for a while. Absolutely wonderful. she said the last part bitterly, the thirst of forgiveness unquenched. She couldn't forgive her. Not for what she'd done. All it took what's Silverkit dying, and Bam! Abused us. Neglected us. Murdered Sunrise and Moonfall right in front of us. Our adopted parents. Right in front of children. She was seething with fury. Beneath the fury, though, was anxiety. Betrayal. The pang of loss. The anger melted away fast as lightning. I... don't want to end up like that. I don't want to snap at the death of a kit. I don't want the kits
To Feel
My
Pain.
There. She said it. The deed was done. She turned to Jayfrost after a moment and said quietly, in the usual Goldfish manner, I'm not sitting still in the nursery all day. That's obvious. I'll combust. But jokes aside... help would be appreciated. If he was going to say anything about Pepperbounce right then, or anything at all, she basically cut him off. Or his thought process. I know Peps doesn't like you, but he trusts me. I've seen you with kits. You're good with them. I trust you.
________________________________________
| @alec [:elmostare: Bear with me I hate writing mood swings Lmao]| @Breaking Dawn |
__________________
"Prepare for the horrors
This night will keep repeating over and over
And over
Until you make it to the end"
The cats are waiting for their toys impatiently
Last edited by zBlaze; April 7th, 2024 at 04:15 AM.
Attachment 3308
Goldfish
Purrks: Agatha Kitty || Go With the Flow
Tags; @/alec
TW: Severe Distress | Abuse mentions | Depressed Thoughts | Confusing stuff I cant put into words. Hallucinations maybe?
_________________________________
Goldfish couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't act, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, COULDN'T BREATHE! She needed air, she was suffocating, her heart was roaring in her ears. Her paws were tingling her sight was fuzzy and she COULDN'T BREATHE! BREATHE! Somehow, some way she found a ay to wheeze in a breath, but she still felt she couldn't breathe. The medicine den felt tight and stuffy and the walls were closing in on her, cutting off her meager air supply and dragging it into the darkness of the den where she couldn't see. AIR, She needed AIR! She couldn't think of anything else but how she could've saved her, could've helped her, and Shelly. Freaking. Left her. She put her pride first and Goldfish felt dead inside. But she wasn't dead, because she needed air so bad even though she was breathing and could never get enough of it in her lungs. She wheezed in more air and-
"You can't save everyone."
She wanted to melt into the floor right then and there. The trauma of her childhood unearthed itself in her heart. She felt... she could breathe. Those words stung hard- so, so hard- because when she was just a child- she'd been expected to save her sister. But she didn't have it in her, not to go out into the cold snowstorm to make sure she was okay, not to bring her back in so she could warm up. Silverkit had had to come in on her own, and by then it was too late for her. The anger... the pure terror... and suddenly she was back and her mother was beating her and screaming and she was crying and Spottedkit was clinging to her, shrieking for mercy and her tiny heart wanted to stop and her screams had echoed across camp until Moonfall body checked Cormorantcrash off her and she'd been left sobbing so hard and in so much pain she wanted to die. She was feeling it all over again. But this time, the pain was on the inside. Her heart ached for so many. Moonfall. Sunrise. Silverkit. Daisypaw. Tansypaw. Larkstar. When. Did. It. End. When would she be able to push past it, when would the pain stop, when would they leave her, like everyone else? When, when, when.
When.
Would.
It.
Kill.
Her.
"I have failed, Jayfrost. They counted on me and I failed. They have died because of me. DON'T, interrupt me, I should've known. You don't understand, you don't get it. There were three deaths I could've stopped. Three. And I didn't. I didn't go get Silverkit, I didn't tell Cormorantcrash it would never happen again. She slaughtered my freaking. Adopted. Parents. I could've told her that I would never do it again. I could've told her I... would never let her babies die... again. I didn't. I couldn't. So she took us out of camp for a chat. She had led Spottedkit into the river before she could swim. While Sunrise tried to help her she killed Moonfall. When Sunrise got out she killed him." When did it end? At least her voice was steady now. "She said; 'Spottedkit and Goldkit. You must promise me I won't have to do this again, and you won't let each other die.' I couldn't respond. I was frightened." "So she threw their bodies into the rapids. And I watched. Them. Die again."
( warning that this is NOT my post responding to gold baby moodswing stuff )
( wasnt this supposed to be them becoming closer friends )
->> jayfrost [he/him, rc warrior, 26moons, burn baby burn] <<-
a tall silver classic-tabby with well groomed short to medium length fur and icy blue eyes
cw: none, hes just angry
anger rumbled awake inside his chest at her word, jaw tightening in annoyance at her pathetic outbreak, he had tried his best, ignored his own darn feelings and this is what he got, being yelled at? he genuinely tried to be nice and comfort her and all he got was'i shoulve known, you dont understand, you dont get'? ears pinned back his shoulders tensed, not only from having sat up but mostly at the fury coursing through his veins. 'i shouldve known, you dont understand, you dont get it' "no, you shut up." he interupted the molly, "starclan forbid anyone ever shares their opinion and doesnt indulge in your self pitying pathetic monologue! everyones got dead people, youre not special, suck. it. up." he spat, tail lashing behind him as he turned to actively remove himself from the conversation. he felt more anger bubble at the thought of his pathetic staggering walk, heavy limp slowing him down considerably as he exited the medicine den.
(if she follows him i think it'd best to move it to the clearing mayhaps)
__________________
"i wish things were different, but it werent us who changed."
( warning that this is NOT my post responding to gold baby moodswing stuff )
( wasnt this supposed to be them becoming closer friends )
->> jayfrost [he/him, rc warrior, 26moons, burn baby burn] <<-
a tall silver classic-tabby with well groomed short to medium length fur and icy blue eyes
cw: none, hes just angry
anger rumbled awake inside his chest at her word, jaw tightening in annoyance at her pathetic outbreak, he had tried his best, ignored his own darn feelings and this is what he got, being yelled at? he genuinely tried to be nice and comfort her and all he got was'i shoulve known, you dont understand, you dont get'? ears pinned back his shoulders tensed, not only from having sat up but mostly at the fury coursing through his veins. 'i shouldve known, you dont understand, you dont get it' "no, you shut up." he interupted the molly, "starclan forbid anyone ever shares their opinion and doesnt induge in your self pitying pathetic monologue! everyones got dead people, youre not special, suck. it. up." he spat, tail lashing behind him as he turned to actively remove himself from the conversation. he felt more anger bubble at the thought of his pathetic staggering walk, heavy limp slowing him down considerably as he exited the medicine den.
(if she follows him i think it'd best to move it to the clearing mayhaps)
Goldfish watched thoughtfully as he walked away. She was still miserable, utterly, utterly miserable, and then mewed, partially to herself, Who have you lost? She said it loud enough to be heard, but she was completely calm. Otherwise you wouldn't hate this topic. Or perhaps there's something wrong that's putting you in a bad mood. Maybe someone, in particular? She stared firmly at his back. Deduction, my friend, she thought, Is a powerful tool.
The pain had been smoothed over with an icy calm. A silky-smooth voice. A passive-aggressive sort of manner sprung from her jaws. I apologize if you didn't take it the right way. But telling me I'm no different from anyone else isn't doing anything but making me angrier. Wouldn't you be upset and miserable if someone you cared deeply about died at your paws? She asked softly, eyes staring into his back. But I suppose if you don't want to talk we don't have to. So I'm going to ask again. Who. Have. You. Lost? He didn't seem to get how heart-slaughtering this was. Who did he care a lot about? Well, she was certain, but there was someone. Someone he would picture in his mind occasionally, as she did with Peps, and wonder what it would be like without them.
And the answer would be unbearable.
_________________________________
| @/alec |
|| Agatha Kitty: In partial Use ||
__________________
"Prepare for the horrors
This night will keep repeating over and over
And over
Until you make it to the end"
The cats are waiting for their toys impatiently
Last edited by zBlaze; April 10th, 2024 at 05:57 PM.
___...*| Marigoldleap |*...___ [ She/Her - Riverclan Warrior -
Purrks: The Collector and Go with the flow ]
Have been in the medicine den the molly heard a commotion and looked up to see Dusklion and Seabreeze drop what looked to be the body of the newly named deputy. What in Starclan had happened? She rushed over almost immediately. There was no moment hesitation.
Marigoldleap wanted to ask what had happened, but the familiar scent of rogue filled her nose. That seemed all to familiar. Not the actual scent, but the part of him being attacked by a non clan member. All those moons ago when she had lost her own life to some rogues before starclan sent her back. She knew just how dangerous they could be. Looking at the stock pile she realized they didn't have goldenrod. It was the best thing to treat wounds and they had none.
Without a hesitation she poked her head out of the den and located Minkpaw as well as seeing . "I need some goldenrod, so I can treat Fadingsun's wounds. Can you please get me some and quickly? If you don't know what it looks like its a tall plant with bright yellow flowers. Swanberry if you want to be of use can you go with them?", she asked. There was no way she was sending an apprentice out of camp by themselves, so Swanberry might as well be some use. She should have had somebody get some earlier and maybe they wouldn't be in this mess.
Seabreeze
He/him | Riverclan Warrior | Moons: 16 | Purrks: Go with the Flow | The Collector | Ultimate Predator |
“Ocean waters rising above your neck
You feel the glass start to crack.”
TW: Slight Dissociation
Seabreeze as Marigoldleap immediately set to work and it eased some of the tension that was starting to make his muscles ache but he couldn't relax, not without knowing that the deputy would be fully okay. Goldenrod, how was the den completely out of something, hasn't Mistyshard been sending out patrols? He took a sharp inhale, it wasn't anyone's fault, he was in no way blaming Mistyshard but he made sure to keep in mind to tell her that for the next patrols she needed to send some folks out for goldenrod. For now, the warrior swiftly nodded his head as though answering a question of Marigoldleap's. "I was on a patrol with Dusklion, we discovered Fadingsun being attacked by rogues on the border. I expect Dusklion to be taking out a patrol for that. When it returns I'll be sure to ask Mistyshard to send one of her next patrols out for goldenrod, if you want." He answered blankly. He didn't like the feeling of nothingness that tended to accompany moments like this, it made the warrior feel like he was broken, because he should be scared for Fadingsun and worried. And he was, but it felt distant, like he was feeling it the same way river water warps your vision. There, but not right.
Seabreeze shook out his pelt briefly, watching Marigoldleap's paws carefully as she worked. He wanted to ask about goldenrod as it is an herb that he was unfamiliar with but the acting medicine cat was not needing to be distracted by such trivial matters such as that. So he held his tongue and decided to learn through watching rather than listening which was a very different way. Though Seabreeze was always better at watching and observing concepts and seeing them work than just listening. Seabreeze kept his ears flipped back to listen in for the mini patrol of sorts that had Minkpaw and Swanberry collecting the necessary herbs. "Do you need anything else?" He didn't want to be pushy or invade the space but he was itching to do anything that was helping more than just sitting here and getting lost in his own thoughts.
Goldfish had never shaken her black-and-yellow head firmer. What? Of course she'd look after her own kits! That... that was the scary part. Cormorantcrash had been a good mom before Silverkit died. A really good mom. But after she'd frozen to death? No more nice mother.
And she had a mind to say so. Had a mind to tell them everything she and Spotty had been through. Abuse. Neglect. Disowning. Ignorance. AND HER FRIGGIN' STOMACH HURT! Starclan, this was making her moods lose control. It was kiiiiiind of hard to focus when off and on threats of nausea dance around your head. Very, very hard, actually. Goldfish set a firm, rigid stare on Minkpaw. I'm looking after theses friggin' kits. Sorry, sorry, that sounded harsh. She apologized immediately. Too harsh. It sounded mean.
When me and Spottedstream were kittos, our mother was perfect for a while. Absolutely wonderful. she said the last part bitterly, the thirst of forgiveness unquenched. She couldn't forgive her. Not for what she'd done. All it took what's Silverkit dying, and Bam! Abused us. Neglected us. Murdered Sunrise and Moonfall right in front of us. Our adopted parents. Right in front of children. She was seething with fury. Beneath the fury, though, was anxiety. Betrayal. The pang of loss. The anger melted away fast as lightning. I... don't want to end up like that. I don't want to snap at the death of a kit. I don't want the kits
To Feel
My
Pain.
There. She said it. The deed was done. She turned to Jayfrost after a moment and said quietly, in the usual Goldfish manner, I'm not sitting still in the nursery all day. That's obvious. I'll combust. But jokes aside... help would be appreciated. If he was going to say anything about Pepperbounce right then, or anything at all, she basically cut him off. Or his thought process. I know Peps doesn't like you, but he trusts me. I've seen you with kits. You're good with them. I trust you.
(attempt nr 2 i swear if it eats my reply again. @blxze. )
minkpaw almost flinched at the harsh reaction, 'brows' knit together in thought in an attempt to somehow get a hold of the situation and work around goldfishs rapidly changing mood. to no avail, her head seemed to have been wiped clean, causing her thoughts to bounce off each other rather than stick, only worsened by goldfish immediately continuing to speak. the apprentice remained silent throughout goldfish retelling, her chest tightening uncomfortably at the mention of loving parents, a hollow pang minkpaw rarely felt anymore. the lingering aching of loneliness, knowing that her parents were dead and have been for moons, the only thing remaining for her the loud echo of her mothers words, 'concentrate'.
like she had unknowingly summoned the memory of her mother it echoed concentrate, followed by a loud buzz as its echo quieted. "okay, that sounds good, doesnt it? jayfrost here can look after them when needed and you and pepperbounce do what you can, yeah? good good...now, what do you think, i get you tw- you three something to eat?" she offered with a smile, aiming to finally push the conversation in a different direction.
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"i wish things were different, but it werent us who changed."
Re: RiverClan Medicine Cat's Den
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