[Rejected] Fallenpaw

[Rose]

In their presence, any cat would feel small.

Keen eyes gaze at you, judging you for your worth. You know you are not the first cat to come here - nor will you be the last. But you've come with a mission, and all you have to do is sell yourself.

"What makes you stand out from the rest of the cats who want another chance?"

Fallenpaw
She/Her | The Fallen Angel

Any cat would feel small, they said. Any cat would tremble and shrink and cower on the spot, the gossipers whispered. And indeed, true to the word of those that had come before here, seeking what she sought, Fallenpaw felt very small. She'd been a part of StarClan for over twelve moons, and now the longing burning in her chest was too hard to deny. So she'd set out, seeking the council, and now here she was finally, standing among them.

"Hello?" Fallenpaw asked after a moment, murky green gaze momentarily flitting to the ground. "You likely know why I'm here." Her gaze flitted up again. "But I'm unclear of how one returns to life... There are things you'd want to ask of me?"

[Pitou]

**Daisypool**
Ancient Shadowclan Warrior - Starclan

@Orchid

She stood, slightly offsetting the little sprig of cattail tucked around her ear. She paused, securing the precarious adornment, then smiled and padded her way into the misted clearing where awaited another charge. Her smile softened and she took in the young she-cat. It was always a shame how many young cats found themselves in the afterlife and so seeing them come across her influence tended to brighten her day at least a smidge. She sat down, her head cocking slightly as she listened to this newest subject. ”Hello, dear one. Why yes, we would believe you’ve come to ask for your life again? In that, you’ve come to the right place. You tell us why you should return to the living and leave the rest to us.” She paused a moment, keeping her eyes soft and warm but holding the apprentice’s face nonetheless. ”So why don’t you start with introducing yourself? Where’d you come from and what sets you apart from the other cats who come across our attentions? Not just why you want to return but why we should see you fit enough.”

[Rose]

Fallenpaw
She/Her | The Fallen Angel

Right, this cat was right. Fallenpaw ought to introduce herself. But who was she, really? A lacking daughter. A disappointing sister. But no, that was who she had been. Fallenpaw's mother no longer walked the earth, but Fallenpaw could still be the sister her littermate brother deserved.

"Well, my name was.. is Fallenpaw." The apprentice in question shifted on her paws as she blinked at the starry cat that'd approached her, and then decided to sit down for this ordeal. This cat was a member of the council, she supposed. "I used to be a part of ShadowClan..." She swallowed roughly, blinking rapidly a couple times. "And I, well... I er, died twelve moons ago, during The Dark Hunger. It was around the time of the Twoleg Invasion, when we had to move to Hidden Haven. And... well, prey was scarce, and I was among the few that died of starvation." Her head bowed guiltily. "Maybe it was my fault for not paying more attention to myself, but... if you really want to know why I wish to return to life.."

Fallenpaw blinked, peering up at the ancient ShadowClanner.

"I want to fix what I've done. The way I treated my brother -- the way I treated my Clanmates. My brother cared about me so much, and I... well, I cast him aside, hid from him, hid from the Clan. Does there have to be an elaborate reason for why I want to go back? I want to live a full life, I want to have my own family, I want to find out why Vulturefang to this day never told Darkfall or I that he's our father. I want to do more for ShadowClan, because I've realized after twelve moons of sitting up here that I gave up simply because I knew I'd die eventually of heart failure. I was born with that defect, and... I let it get to my head. I let that single fact mold me into a soundless, silent specter, never interacting with my Clanmates, never really.. living. But I want to live now, really live. And I..." Her swamp-colored green gaze lowered to the ground again. "I can't do any of that from up here, wasting away in the stars with no one to talk to and nothing to do. Maybe I don't deserve it, because I threw my first life away just because of a birth defect, but... But I couldn't sit back and not make this request. Not after all this time spent up here."

Her short white tail wrapped around her shins. "It's a lot of wanting, I know. If you asked anyone in ShadowClan now, save for my brother Darkfall, they'd not even know who I am or who I used to be. And I... I need to not be insignificant anymore. I need to go back and make a name for myself, like Darkfall is well on his way to doing. He visits my grave often, my brother. He visited it just yesterday, and it reminded me of how much I've missed out on over the moons."

[ @Pitou - Daisypool ]

[Alchemist Kitsune]

| Magpiewisp |
Ancient RiverClan Medicine Cat
Dark Forest

In the shadows the dark tom lingered, listening to the little apprentice speak to the little StarClanner. The words were the same. I want to live. I want another chance. I want a family. It was obvious that is what this youngster wanted. It was what they all wanted. Why else would she be here. Would they come here? To gaze upon the beauty of the council? He thought not.

And yet there was a slight difference here, Magpiewisp supposed. While there was a lot of want, there was none of that self centered, far too polished ego that believed they were owed this second chance. The same song and dance that the tuxedo tom found so boorish at this point. It was interesting, to see someone who plainly admitted to having given up to at the very least have the head to understand that StarClan owed them nothing. Perhaps this young apprentice's head hadn't stayed stuck in the clouds it now made its home for this meeting.

"So tell me, StarClanner," the blue eyed tom mewed in a bored fashion as he allowed himself to depart the darkness, his eyes squarely on Fallenpaw as he took his place in the council. "What if your heart fails you again? What if starvation knocks you down once more? It is almost leafbare. Famine is a given to some during the cold moons. Will you give up again? Lie down and await death's embrace like you did before?"

-

@Orchid [Fallenpaw] | @Pitou [Daisypool]

[Rose]

Fallenpaw
She/Her | The Fallen Angel

There was something... wrong about the next cat who approached her. Fallenpaw's every sense seemed to prickle with unease, her fur standing on end with alertness. Never had she met a cat like this, in all her days in StarClan. There was a vile... air that accompanied him, and Fallenpaw found herself shying away from the blue-eyed stranger.

And yet... she could not ignore his words. If he was here, there was plenty chance he was supposed to be. Casting a cautionary glance in Daisypool's direction, Fallenpaw exhaled softly. "If my heart were to fail again... so be it. If it were to happen a second time, I will accept my fate if I must. At the very least, my family and my Clan would know that I tried, for them, for me." It pained her, to know and admit to the defects she was born with. It pained her even more to share her vulnerabilities with others, to give cats more fuel to look down upon her. But she was here, and she had to be honest with herself from here on out.

There would be no more hiding, despite how much the thought made her squirm. Floppy ears twitched, but Fallenpaw forced her head up, to face the Dark Forest feline that spoke to her so callously. Swamp-green eyes flashed with determination. "No. Not again. Never again will I roll over and let death overtake me in such a way; it was the worst mistake to ever be made in my short span of a life." The dark-furred molly shook her head. "I can't stop famine if it decides to overtake ShadowClan once more -- nature has to run it's course on it's own, but I will fight for my life. I know how much it's worth now. I've learned over the moons the mistake I made."

Her head dipped, attention flitting down to the paws of the cats she faced. "I realize neither of you owe me this life... I know that fact just as I know my own paws. And yet, still I cannot keep away from your Council, not if it means there's even a sliver of a chance for me to return to my family. I cannot shun that meager hope." Her eyes flicked up again, searching the Dark Forester and StarClanner's expressions.

Hope was a fickle thing, indeed.

[ @Alchemist Kitsune - Magpiewisp / @/Pitou - Daisypool ]

[Pitou]

**Daisypool**
Ancient Shadowclan Warrior - Starclan

@Orchid @Alchemist Kitsune

Sympathetic waves rolled through the she-cat’s pelt as the young former Shadowclanner glanced in her direction. The Dark Forest tom had long since ceased giving her the same disconcerting feelings but she was not so removed that she didn’t know the way the tom could make others feel. Oh, the darling was given a rough deal indeed. It was different indeed from the many who came seeking a second chance because they made a mistake, got themselves killed too young. And even for it, this one was still not claiming she had no character faults, no entitlement. Though it was worth musing, ”I can understand your want to return, for a second chance since the first was given so unfairly. But there are a few questions I am stuck with. Why is it that you choose to return with the same body, the same ailment, as had taken you in the first place? Why do you choose this rather than reincarnating into, hopefully, a more life-compatible body? And why now? You died 12 moons ago, by leafbare’s starvation. And yet you want to return just at the brink of the following leafbare? Wouldn’t returning during the warmer moons to build some strength before leafbare make more sense?” Much of her questioning was simply curiosity, she wasn’t sure exactly what she’d get out of it in regards to making her decision on whether to allow the young apprentice’s return or not, but she wanted to know all the same. And maybe something of value would come out of it after all.

[Rose]

Fallenpaw
She/Her | The Fallen Angel

It may have been the hardest decision Fallenpaw had ever made. To step back, to concede, to let go of something she so wanted. But the StarClan Ancient... she was right. "I..." The former ShadowClanner lowered her head, swamp-green gaze fixed now on the floor. A dark paw nudged the ground uncertainly. "You're right." It hurt her heart, to admit it, that this had been a spur-of-the-moment decision. That she'd been leading with her heart and not her head.

"If I go back now, all I'll be doing is hurting my Clan by giving them one more mouth to feed instead of helping them. If..." She shifted slightly on her haunches. "Even if I were granted a return now, it is possible for any remaining ailment of mine to start up again in these colder months. I'll be back when I find a better time, one that I'll be physically capable of withstanding sicknesses... and one where I'd be assisting my Clan by joining them instead of becoming another burden."

"I appreciate that you showed up to listen to what I had to say." Her gaze flitted upward once more. "Thank you... er... I never learned your names.." Here she winced apologetically, cringing slightly at her own lack of manners. Regardless, it was her time to leave. Turning, Fallenpaw paused in her departure just long enough to glance back at Daisypool and answer the StarClanner's question. "I don't want to reincarnate - I do not wish for a brand new life where I may forget myself and my family. I'd rather return to my old life and right all the wrong's I'd left behind." With that, Fallenpaw padded back off into the stars from whence she had come.

One day she'd be back, to return to the realm of the living, but it wouldn't be today.

[ @Pitou - Daisypool / @Alchemist Kitsune - Magpiewisp | Super delayed response, but I've been needing to wrap this up. ]