behind the eyes [closed]

[Captain]

RUMBLEWOLF

> Silently making his way into the ShadowClan warrior’s den, the massive gray-furred tomcat immediately found his familiar moss nest and collapsed into it, an exhausted huff leaving him. Today had been a long one, filled with an grueling border patrol, multiple hunting trips and even training that undersized apprentice of his. Rumblewolf allowed his bright amber-hued eyes to shut, despite already being very prepared for another night of sleep that would never come. No matter what he did, it was always the same. He’d barely get any sleep, and he'd have to get up early the very next day no matter how he felt. It was unforgiving, and cruelly tedious. His fluffy tail curled around himself as the large warrior shifted onto his right side. Rumblewolf's mind wandered, thinking aimlessly about what kind of routine schedule he wanted to tackle in the morning. Should he train Gentlepaw more? Try hunting in a new location, maybe. Practice fighting techniques with another warrior. It was no surprise to him that there were many different things he could do, giving him the satisfaction that he'd never be caught sitting around.

Multiple minutes ticked by before all this mental planning lulled the muscular dark-grey warrior into actual slumber, which was quite rare for him. He fell deeply into his sleep, his breath slowing down to a gentle calm as his chest rose and fell softly. A low snore could be heard from Rumblewolf as he slipped into the endless void of pitch blackness that seemed to consume his entire being. There was comfort in that feeling, the numbing lull of sleep, that brought the ShadowClan tomcat momentary peace. However, after an undetermined amount of time later on, a gentle paw would rest on his shoulder and his amber eyes would immediately spring open. An unfamiliar face was what he was greeted with.

[Captain]

????

> Through the shimmering grasses and star-speckled trees, a fluffy silver-and-white tomcat walked along, his massive tail swishing from side-to-side behind him. He had walked through this place many times before, but never for this reason. How long had it been since he had spoken to a living, breathing cat? The lone figure did not know, probably not since before he had died many, many moons prior to now. It did not take long before his light green-hued eyes spotted exactly what he was looking for, however. He quietly stepped through the tall grasses, many tiny twinkling dots sparking all across his body as he did so, moving closer to the sleeping individual known as Rumblewolf of ShadowClan. He'd been watching the young tomcat for quite awhile now, and decided to finally interact with him, or more specifically, have a meaningful chat.

Drawing to a halt in front of him, the StarClan cat tilted his head to the side, watching the dark-grey warrior's chest rise and fall as he drifted through empty sleep. Honestly, he couldn't help but wonder if it was a bit cruel to wake him, considering how little Rumblewolf often got any sleep. Eventually though, the silver-furred feline decided it was for a good cause and extended a starry paw towards him. Resting it gently on the ShadowClan tom's shoulder, he watched his temporarily guest immediately snap awake. He smiled as Rumblewolf silently stared at him.

"What? Were you expecting someone from the Dark Forest?"

[Captain]

RUMBLEWOLF

> Huh? The single sound was the first thing that went through the muscular ShadowClan warrior’s thoughts, as he stared in disbelief up at the StarClan cat. He glanced around wildly, being met with shimmering forest and bright plants galore that made up StarClan’s territory. “What the…” Rumblewolf murmured under his breath before looking back up at the silver-furred tomcat, quickly shaking off the paw that had still been resting on his shoulder. “Where am I? Who are you?” The massive tomcat hissed threateningly, rolling onto his stomach and leaping to his paws, fur fluffing up at he snarled at the stranger. A million questions were swarming through his head and adrenaline pumped through his veins as he demanded answers. Just a moment ago, Rumblewolf was comfortably in his moss nest in ShadowClan's camp, in the warrior's den. This made no sense! "Am I dead or something? Tell me now!" He snapped, tail lashing as he stared at the starcoated cat with intensity.

[Captain]

????

> As the ShadowClan warrior immediately tore himself away from him, falling into major hostility and defense mode, the StarClan cat only looked at Rumblewolf in silence with a thoughtful look within his deep green gaze. All the young tom's hissing and growling did not startle him, nor did it affect how he spoke to him next. "You're in StarClan right now, kiddo." The mysterious silver-and-white figure answered simply, then shook his head with a gentle laugh leaving him, "And no, you're not dead. You're far too healthy and strong for that yet."
It was an understandable assumption though, regarding everything that was happening. He uttered a small sigh and sat down, long whiskers twitching slightly before he continued his explanation. "I was alive much before your time, Rumblewolf, and in a clan that wasn't even your own." The starspeckled feline remarked with a friendly smile, "You do not know me, but I know a whole lot about you, dear boy."

Patting his massive bushy tail against the ground beside him, the StarClanner beckoned the dark-grey tomcat closer. "Come, come. Sit here with me." He said with a purr hinting in his tone, "My name is Ripplewhisker, and I have been wanting to have a talk with you for quite some time." This living soul needed this, and he knew that well enough. Who better to be that for him than a cat whose been dead for nearly six years? It wasn't like he himself had anything better to do. And Rumblewolf would listen to him whether he liked it or not. That was sure.

[Captain]

RUMBLEWOLF

> Despite everything, the young warrior listened to the older shimmering figure before him, who was named Ripplewhisker. He stared at him for a long time, his bright amber-hued eyes not leaving the gentle green-colored orbs that belonged to the StarClan cat. Why? Why him of all cats had this tomcat, who was apart of the clans much before Rumblewolf, taken an interest? Surely, they had the wrong guy, and confused him with some other warrior. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, all his learned instincts telling the massive dark-gray tomcat that this was a bad idea, and this fellow should not be trusted for a single damn second. But deep down, waaaay down, within Rumblewolf’s dark and mangled soul, a soft voice told him to give Ripplewhisker a chance. He didn’t know why, but he chose to trust this voice at that moment.

Hesitatingly, Rumblewolf stepped forward, approaching the silver-furred tom that kept on smiling warmly and waiting patiently. What could he even have to say to him, huh? What was there to discuss? Surely, he wasn’t being given some cryptic omen or something. That was for a medicine cat, not for someone like himself. The questions were endless and it made Rumblewolf’s head pound. Quietly, the ShadowClan tom sat down beside Ripplewhisker, not saying anything and shifting his gaze down to his paws. He didn’t know why he was here, and he felt like a nursery kitten that got caught doing something bad. His large fluffy tail twitched back and forth beside him, voicing his rising nervousness.

[Captain]

RIPPLEWHISKER

> Seeing the muscular warrior eventually come over and actually sit down, relief washed over the silver-and-white tomcat. He was expecting more of a fight from Rumblewolf, to be completely honest, but perhaps this was going to go smoother than Ripplewhisker had anticipated. A peaceful moment of silence passed between the two, as they both sat there together in the hushed starbathed forest. Frankly, he did not really even know where to begin with this. Yes, he knew the point he wanted to get across, but what kind of words should he used to say it? Stars, it had been too long since Ripplewhisker had an actual conversation with someone. “You don’t have to feel anxious,” He decided to mention, sensing the uneasiness roll off the massive tom’s shoulders, “You’re not in trouble, I promise.” Maybe that was something that would mean very little to someone like Rumblewolf though. He wanted to get through to him, in a sense that he would understand. That much was true.

Ah, screw it. "You don't have to be like this, you know." Ripplewhisker meowed bluntly, turning to look at Rumblewolf, "You're a good man, son, and you still have time to be who you truly want to be in this life." He was in his mid-twenties, practically fresh out of the clan apprentice den. There was a lot still ahead for the young ShadowClan tomcat. New, exciting things that he could still experience if he gave it the chance. His long whiskers twitched aimlessly before he continued to talk, attempting to break through that seemingly impenetrable wall that Rumblewolf had around him. "I can see the kind of cats that you force yourself to associate with every single day, and I know for a fact that isn't the kind of person you want to be." However, before he could say anymore, the warrior would interrupt with a fierce snarl.

[Captain]

RUMBLEWOLF

> Almost immediately, Ripplewhisker seemed to detect that he was feeling off about this whole encounter. Damn, was he really that obvious? It was something that he was usually good at, hiding away those nasty emotions, but this StarClan cat saw right through him. To Rumblewolf, a realization like that was both infuriating and terrifying at the same time. And he didn’t know how to react, which made the warrior feel very weak, pathetic and vulnerable. Of course, the silver tomcat’s reassuring words did little to soothe these conflictions. If he wasn’t in any kind of trouble there was no need for him to be here right now, and that was what Rumblewolf chose to believe. This was all rather condescending.

Then, the starry figure kept talking, spouting this speech about how this wasn't who he was and how he still had a chance to change his life. It made Rumblewolf extremely uncomfortable, and it sickened him to the core. He was proud to be a ShadowClan warrior, and he had worked hard to get to where he was today. "Shut up." The fluffy dark-gray tomcat snarled, whipping his head around to then face Ripplewhisker with bared teeth, "You don't get to sit there, and act like you know me. I just met you and you're here acting like you've been there beside me through every second of my life." It honestly insulted Rumblewolf and he didn't know why he'd expected anything different. His tufted ears went back, and flattened against his head. After everything he had done, this was the gratitude he got? A pitiful lecture from a dead man?

"Look me in the eyes, and I dare you to tell me what you see." Rumblewolf growled deeply, challenging the older tomcat, "Because I am not the sensitive, emotional individual that you make me out to be." Hot anger burned in the muscular warrior's bright amber-hued gaze.

[Captain]

RIPPLEWHISKER

> “But you are.” The silver-and-white feline responded simply, staring right back at the irritated tomcat, “I look into your eyes and I see a deep sadness that no cat in your entire life has ever been able to see. Not your father, not your sisters or brothers, or your mentor, or even your friends. I see a cat who only wanted to know what it was like to be truly loved, but instead he was met with unimaginable expectations and a hard life of sacrificing who you are to please others that don’t give a rat’s ass if you died tomorrow or not.” All of what Ripplewhisker said was harsh and that was certain, but he knew too well enough that it was something that this young warrior needed to hear, "You act like you love being this silent, emotionless warrior, but I can see that it's breaking you inside. It's killing you slowly, but you allow it to happen because it's all you've ever known." He stared back at the ShadowClan tomcat with an unwavering softened gaze.

“There is more out there, beyond ShadowClan, beyond all four of these clans, beyond this wretched forest.” Ripplewhisker said, urging for Rumblewolf to truly listen, "Many others escaped, and you could too if you desired to." And he did. The starbathed figure knew within the depths of this broken tom's soul he wanted to find a life where he could be happy, and at peace with everything. He allowed another warm smile to slip onto his expression once again. "They would welcome you with open paws, I know they would." There was no doubt to that.

Then, the smile would fade and he'd utter a quiet sigh. "You'll never find what you are looking for here, Rumblewolf. You can lie to me all you want, but you know that just as well as I do." Ripplewhisker glanced around him at the sparkling stars that surrounded them here, "I wish I could've escaped too, but here I am, trying to help you escape this personal hell you've trapped yourself in." He allowed a light half-hearted chuckle escape him at that. "This place is not welcoming for cats like you and me, as much as it may seem like it."

"It's all fake."

[Captain]

RUMBLEWOLF

> At first, all the muscular ShadowClan tomcat could do was stare at the StarClan cat in silent disbelief, clearly taken back by their speech. “...You can’t be serious.” He said, his voice hushed, almost like he was trying to convince himself of that, “No.. No, I’ve worked hard to get to where I am in my clan. I am strong, I am hard-working, I am not a coward. I mean something to them. I matter to all of them!” Rumblewolf practically shouted at Ripplewhisker, probably speaking louder than he ever had in his entire life. For the first time in his life, the young warrior didn’t know what to truly say or do in that moment, turning his head away from the starbathed figure as he stared down at the grass in front of them. How was he even supposed to react to that kind of talk? His training had not prepared him for such things. This was a StarClan cat, telling him to abandon his clan? What kind of backwards bullshrew logic was that? Rumblewolf quickly shook his head, then just squeezed his eyes tight before reopening them. “So, I’m just supposed to leave? Just like that?” The big fluffy ShadowClan warrior muttered, “My family, my friends, even my own apprentice… I’m just supposed to walk away from all of that like it’s nothing? That would be treachery. I’d never be allowed to come back. Dawnstar would probably skin me alive if she…” Rumblewolf didn’t want to finish the thought, suddenly feeling queasy. Why was this happening to him right now? "You have no idea what you're asking from me."

[Captain]

RIPPLEWHISKER

> “And where has that hard work gotten you, Rumblewolf?” The large silver-furred maine coon asked, “It may have gotten you your warrior name and a place to sleep at night, but has it truly given you any self fulfillment? You overwork yourself to impress cats that barely even give you a single glance of recognition. You come home every night to an empty nest and not a single thank-you from your clanmates. You are right about yourself though. You are strong. You are hard-working. But you are a coward, and you do not matter to them.” Ripplewhisker breathed a long sigh through his nose, resting his tail over the other tomcat’s flank in comfort. “That is not your fault though. You were raised this way. It was crammed into your brain the moment you were born that you have to live this way. But you don’t. You don’t have to be miserable.” If only the StarClan tomcat had listened to his own advice once, then maybe he wouldn’t have ended up here, and would instead be with his only child. Oh how he missed Sproutwhisker, but he knew his son was happy where he resided.

“Yes.” Ripplewhisker remarked, blinking at the young ShadowClan warrior, “Your family is all either dead, or treats you like you don’t exist. You and your so-called friends hardly talk. And that apprentice of yours can find a new mentor, as you’ve hardly even begun your training with her. ShadowClan can live and survive without you, as harsh as it is. But it’s freeing in it’s own way. It means you can do whatever you want to make a life where you can be truly happy.” Maybe he was wasting his time with this. Maybe Rumblewolf was far too gone to be saved. However, the older star-speckled feline was a stubborn one, and was tired of sitting around up here and sulking, “There’s only so much I can do to convince you, Rumblewolf, but I promise you that what I say is true. There is nothing here for you, and somewhere out there is a home where you could finally be yourself and find love, just as you always wanted. Your own brother, Raccoonpelt, was able to find his own happiness, so why shouldn’t you be able to as well?” Ripplewhisker then grew silent after that.