Calia's Garden [Private]

[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

The way that she spoke about life moving as smoothly made Obsidian stop and think for a minute. Yes; perhaps it would be nice to have life move that smoothly, that easily. To have no one get hurt. That much would be very nice indeed. But, it wasn't possible. You couldn't change the way the world worked. If anyone could do it, she could. He thought with a slight smile, looking down at the pebbles at the bottom of the pond and moving them under his paw. They rolled just a little bit, and made him smile even more. Why that slight movement gave him pleasure was unknown, but it did. Maybe it was the consistent movement, knowing that they were there... that they would stay there, never changing-- at least not in that moment that Obsidian was standing in the pond. She could probably change the entire Syndicate if she tried to. He thought, another smile coming onto his features.
　
The thought of Calia putting so much as a paw in a place like the Dusk Syndicate was hilarious. Would she really be able to handle a rough place like that? Nope. But, she could change it. Change had always been hard for the tom. Even saying goodbye to the cats he hated the most had been hard, because they had always been there. Things had never changed with them and yet, he had gone away. So, why was Obsidian headed to the Dusk Syndicate? Because no one asked questions. Because as long as you kept your mouth shut, and were tough enough to handle the fighting, no one bothered you. Because although you might get beaten up, at least you weren't going to be hurt in the same way. Because no one knew anything about you, not unless you wanted them to, and it stayed that way. And yes, perhaps it was just an illusion Obsidian had built up.
　
But as far as he knew? It was somewhere other then where he had previously resided, and he was glad to be going there. "It might be nice for no one to get hurt," He admitted with a slightly softer expression. Then he never would have had problems. Everything would be fine and he would currently be living in a cat's paradise... only, the inside had been more like a cat hell. For those who didn't belong there. He had never belonged there. It had made most of his life miserable, and he resented his so-called family for that. His so-called brother most of all. The rest of his family hadn't had much to do with him, because he wasn't as desirable as the rest who entered or lived there. Perhaps, if no one got hurt, then things would be different. There would be no fighting. But if there was no fighting... then, when perfection did eventually wear off, as it always did... everyone would be weak and helpless.
　
A confliction indeed. He brought his head up, slowly, carefully looking at the ginger feline. She was definitely pretty; almost enough to pass as one of the "starlets" that he had known back at his home. But they were refined and poised, graceful, elegant, everything they did they did without failure. Not that Calia wasn't a graceful and elegant feline, she just emitted an air of warmth rather then stuffiness. Those cats were sickeningly sweet-- and it was a false sweetness, everyone knew it. They would sooner kill competition then wish them good luck, even though they were constantly saying 'good luck sweetie!' and other things like that in a way that made Obsidian feel like the competition should be watching their back rather then thanking the devious felines. Perhaps that was another reason he left. Was he really that scared of the long furred, doe-eyed stars of the show?
　
The answer was yes. They terrified him. He had constantly been scared they might just get rid of him because he wasn't 'show material,' but looking back, he should have been grateful he wasn't. Sure, they had treated him as their own personal toy, but at least they hadn't been too horrible to him. Thank goodness. As she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his own, his expression changed from one of soft interest to one of concern and anxiety. He glanced away, looking anywhere but directly at her. "I don't think you need to worry about me at all." He mewed in a somewhat rough voice, his expression harder then it should be. Just the slightest bit. He appreciated that she was trying to be nice, and that she did care, but really-- it was going to make him feel bad. "Look. The fact that you want me to be careful is nice. It really is, but I would prefer not to know anyone cares." The tom closed his eyes with a slight shudder.
　

"I don't want to know if anyone cares."

He mewed again, this time making eye contact all on his own. If someone cared, he didn't need to know about it. All his life he was more used to not being cared about, and the fact that Calia might actually care? It was scaring him. He didn't want the comfort of having an idea that someone, someone out there cared whether he lived or died. Cared whether he was okay or hurt. Cared whether he suceeded or didn't. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, but then again, maybe not. Which was it? That was something he was going to have to decide for himself.

Calia was shocked at Obsidian's blunt words, claiming he would prefer not to know if anyone cared. She stared into his eyes until she finally decided that he was serious. Shocked, she froze, her lower jaw dropping and her eyes widening. She lived off caring - kindness, kindness, kindness. Kindness was strength. Why would Obsidian not want to know who cares about him? The love of others gives you something to fight for, because without you, what would your loved ones do? You fight to protect those who care for you from grief.

Recovering from her episode of shock, Calia disturbed the pond by rising from her seated position. She inched closer to Obsidian, her eyes narrowed in thought. ``Why... Obsidian. Care is, well, survival. Imagine all the other cats I helped. Imagine the she-cat with her three kits, her ribs practically poking through her skin and her kits mewling for attention and food. If I hadn't offered her shelter, and food, and water! She and her kits would've died. I saved them, because I cared. If I hadn't cared, they would've died. Three helpless kittens and their desperate mother.`` Calia looked down, shaking her head sadly as she remembered the poor state the family had been in. By the time the she-cat and her kits left, the mother was healthy and strong, and capable of looking after her grown kits on her own. That was why Calia did what she did, helping others, despite the end result of depression.

Her voice was firm, yet raspy with passion. Caring meant a lot to Calia. After all, caring played a part in her incredible success, in her survival. She thrived off care. ``I'm going to tell you I care about you, because I genuinely do. I care about any and every cat I stumble upon, because even if they've done horrendous things, they can prove themselves otherwise. They still have a chance. And perhaps, my kindness was what convinced them to follow in my pawsteps, and be friendly to cats they stumble upon. Perhaps my kindness reminded a cat how lovely life can truly be.``

Calia stopped, taking a moment to inhale heavily before exhaling shakily. She flexed her muscles, her shoulders rolling and her legs stretching. She closed her eyes as she gathered herself, opening them into narrowed slips, and revealing passionate blue eyes. She continued. ``I'm going to tell you I care about you, because the Dusk Syndicate is a cruel, cruel place.`` She shook her head gravely as she mentioned the evil group's name, emphasizing on their cold nature. ``If you know I care about you, you will be gifted with strength. You will endure the harsh nature of the Dusk Syndicate, and survive. Because you'll fight for me. We may never see each other again, but at the back of your mind, you'll remind yourself that I care. In order to prevent me from grieving your loss, you will fight.`` She stepped closer, the water around her swirling around her stiff legs. She now stood just a few mouse-lengths from Obsidian. She hoped the closeness would add more of a serious air to the conversation - not that it wasn't already serious.

Finally, she decided she would wrap up the intense conversation with why she thought Obsidian was what he was. After moons and moons of interacting with other cats, she was an expert in cat-watching! It was where Calia would study cats, and determine their history - unofficially - based off behavior and appearance. She's been studying Obsidian since the tomcat arrived, from their first words to this shared moment. She stopped where she was, stretching her neck forward to get even closer to her guest, to make him feel the passion in her words. ``I understand it. You're a reserved cat. But why?`` Calia's tail was raised above water, droplets of the clear liquid falling from her lengthy fur and into the pond. Her tail-tip flicked, and several water drops flew from her tail. ``You were hurt, weren't you?`` She whispered these words, her narrowed eyes filling with compassion and understanding. She cocked her head to the side, and let her tail gently dip back under the water. The excitement was gone. Now, the moment seemed quiet.

Her question was more than a question; it was a rhetorical question. The sun was falling behind her, and being replaced with the moon. A dull shadow began to embrace the Earth. Calia let her gaze drop, standing where she stood for a quick moment of silence. And then she brushed past Obsidian, still avoiding eye contact. Her tail attempted to curl around his foreleg as she passed, a silent signal that represented `I care`. Her passionate speech left her exhausted, and she dragged her legs through the heavy water with all the effort that remained. Calia emerged from the water, drenched in pond water. She didn't even shake the liquid from her pelt, and instead, she simply crawled into her nest. As she approached her nest, the tall grasses around her brushed against her pelt and played a role in partly drying her. She ignored the fresh-kill Obsidian and her had previously caught. Calia didn't have an appetite anymore. Curled in her now-wet nest, she called out to Obsidian in a motherly tone, one of care. ``Goodnight, Obsidian.``

[lone]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

Calia was shocked at Obsidian's blunt words, claiming he would prefer not to know if anyone cared. She stared into his eyes until she finally decided that he was serious. Shocked, she froze, her lower jaw dropping and her eyes widening. She lived off caring - kindness, kindness, kindness. Kindness was strength. Why would Obsidian not want to know who cares about him? The love of others gives you something to fight for, because without you, what would your loved ones do? You fight to protect those who care for you from grief.

Recovering from her episode of shock, Calia disturbed the pond by rising from her seated position. She inched closer to Obsidian, her eyes narrowed in thought. ``Why... Obsidian. Care is, well, survival. Imagine all the other cats I helped. Imagine the she-cat with her three kits, her ribs practically poking through her skin and her kits mewling for attention and food. If I hadn't offered her shelter, and food, and water! She and her kits would've died. I saved them, because I cared. If I hadn't cared, they would've died. Three helpless kittens and their desperate mother.`` Calia looked down, shaking her head sadly as she remembered the poor state the family had been in. By the time the she-cat and her kits left, the mother was healthy and strong, and capable of looking after her grown kits on her own. That was why Calia did what she did, helping others, despite the end result of depression.

Her voice was firm, yet raspy with passion. Caring meant a lot to Calia. After all, caring played a part in her incredible success, in her survival. She thrived off care. ``I'm going to tell you I care about you, because I genuinely do. I care about any and every cat I stumble upon, because even if they've done horrendous things, they can prove themselves otherwise. They still have a chance. And perhaps, my kindness was what convinced them to follow in my pawsteps, and be friendly to cats they stumble upon. Perhaps my kindness reminded a cat how lovely life can truly be.``

Calia stopped, taking a moment to inhale heavily before exhaling shakily. She flexed her muscles, her shoulders rolling and her legs stretching. She closed her eyes as she gathered herself, opening them into narrowed slips, and revealing passionate blue eyes. She continued. ``I'm going to tell you I care about you, because the Dusk Syndicate is a cruel, cruel place.`` She shook her head gravely as she mentioned the evil group's name, emphasizing on their cold nature. ``If you know I care about you, you will be gifted with strength. You will endure the harsh nature of the Dusk Syndicate, and survive. Because you'll fight for me. We may never see each other again, but at the back of your mind, you'll remind yourself that I care. In order to prevent me from grieving your loss, you will fight.`` She stepped closer, the water around her swirling around her stiff legs. She now stood just a few mouse-lengths from Obsidian. She hoped the closeness would add more of a serious air to the conversation - not that it wasn't already serious.

Finally, she decided she would wrap up the intense conversation with why she thought Obsidian was what he was. After moons and moons of interacting with other cats, she was an expert in cat-watching! It was where Calia would study cats, and determine their history - unofficially - based off behavior and appearance. She's been studying Obsidian since the tomcat arrived, from their first words to this shared moment. She stopped where she was, stretching her neck forward to get even closer to her guest, to make him feel the passion in her words. ``I understand it. You're a reserved cat. But why?`` Calia's tail was raised above water, droplets of the clear liquid falling from her lengthy fur and into the pond. Her tail-tip flicked, and several water drops flew from her tail. ``You were hurt, weren't you?`` She whispered these words, her narrowed eyes filling with compassion and understanding. She cocked her head to the side, and let her tail gently dip back under the water. The excitement was gone. Now, the moment seemed quiet.

Her question was more than a question; it was a rhetorical question. The sun was falling behind her, and being replaced with the moon. A dull shadow began to embrace the Earth. Calia let her gaze drop, standing where she stood for a quick moment of silence. And then she brushed past Obsidian, still avoiding eye contact. Her tail attempted to curl around his foreleg as she passed, a silent signal that represented `I care`. Her passionate speech left her exhausted, and she dragged her legs through the heavy water with all the effort that remained. Calia emerged from the water, drenched in pond water. She didn't even shake the liquid from her pelt, and instead, she simply crawled into her nest. As she approached her nest, the tall grasses around her brushed against her pelt and played a role in partly drying her. She ignored the fresh-kill Obsidian and her had previously caught. Calia didn't have an appetite anymore. Curled in her now-wet nest, she called out to Obsidian in a motherly tone, one of care. ``Goodnight, Obsidian.``

Her words left him speechless. Confused. Hurt, even. Yes, he was hurt by what she had said. So what was she accusing him of here? Why, why did she feel it was so important that he survived? He didn't like it. He didn't want her to care about him, he didn't need to know that she cared about him, but she seemed to think it was so important. Care eventually led to hurt. Heartbreak. These were like, the ten commandments of Obsidian's old world. Show cats didn't care about anyone but themselves. Because they had been hurt, just like he had. And because they were hurt, they had hurt him. More. So he had lashed out, and then he had left. Because he had never belonged there.
　
As a kit, all Obsidian had ever wanted was to be accepted. Was to be appreciated. But, guess what? That had never happened. Previously he had never been accepted or appreciated, he had never been a popular tom, he had never been the cat that everyone's eyes were on. Now he was being cared for? No. That wasn't possible. This was a trick, this was a joke, what was going on? No loner in their right mind would just invite strangers in. And Obsidian should have known it before. Whatever she was doing was horrible... she was putting on a different act, he'd seen it hundreds of times before... but why?
　
The idea of that stung more then anything else. After all, he had thought that she was different. It would appear he had been wrong yet again. What a surprise for him. Being wrong was pretty much all the tom could do right these days, or so it would seem. Being wrong was his hobby now. He was great at it. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd been wrong yet again. For the what? The fourtieth? The fiftieth time in his life? Maybe he should go bigger, more like the hundredth. Yeah, that sounded realistic and right. He'd been wrong so many times. So many times it felt like there was an iron fist crushing his heart now.
　
Her question stunned him. How... how would she guess that? Yes, he was a reserved cat, that was obvious... but how would she guess he'd been hurt? Oh wait-- hadn't he told her the other day? Perhaps... everything was foggy, he couldn't remember quite what he'd said. And if he had, had he been exaggerating? No. Obsidian was never one to exaggerate. "Yeah, Calia. I've been hurt. It's not a big deal, and I should have just stayed put where I was hurt, but at least I was safe from being cared about. If someone cares about you, you worry all the time. Worry that if you get hurt it's going to hurt them. I've cared before. And guess what? It came around and bit me. Hard. And literally." His expression hardened angrily.
　
"How do I know you aren't the same as everyone else? That you aren't lying to me, that you aren't just telling me this to make me think you actually do care, and then you're going to turn around and laugh in my face, huh? How do I know that you care whether I live or die, how can I know if you're..." His voice trailed off and he sighed. It didn't matter. None of this mattered. His voice had raised quite a bit and he lowered it once more. This whole time, he had been looking directly at her. Now, he finally looked away. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I don't matter." He growled in a low voice.
　
He got out of the water after her, but unlike her, he shook the water out of his pelt. But, the tom wasn't hungry either. He didn't want to eat anything. He didn't so much look at the fresh kill, his hues hard and dangerous. Curling up in his nest, he put his tail around himself tightly, like a blanket. "Goodnight." His voice was a good deal softer then before, because he knew-- he knew tomorrow that he would be gone. Whether she would be awake or not didn't matter, he needed to get out of there. He needed to find a place where he would be just another cat. Another cat waiting to have their life thrown away in battle, or fighting one of the other members of the Dusk Syndicate.
　
-----
Morning broke quickly, and Obsidian yawned and stretched. He was careful not to wake the sleeping feline, instead grabbing one of the pieces of prey caught yesterday. The other one was left, abandoned, hopefully to be eaten later that day. Eating quickly, the tom put the bones to the side where they wouldn't be in the middle of everything. And then? He walked away. Granted, not at too quick of a pace... but he walked away all the same. Towards the edge of the territory, towards... his new life. And yet he felt bad. He wanted to stay with her. If she had been telling the truth, she was the first cat who had bothered to tell him that she cared. Whose actions and words matched up perfectly. Perhaps he was hoping she would come. To say goodbye. But, he was too proud to admit it. So instead, he walked away at a slow pace, stopping and looking around every few minutes.

[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

Her words left him speechless. Confused. Hurt, even. Yes, he was hurt by what she had said. So what was she accusing him of here? Why, why did she feel it was so important that he survived? He didn't like it. He didn't want her to care about him, he didn't need to know that she cared about him, but she seemed to think it was so important. Care eventually led to hurt. Heartbreak. These were like, the ten commandments of Obsidian's old world. Show cats didn't care about anyone but themselves. Because they had been hurt, just like he had. And because they were hurt, they had hurt him. More. So he had lashed out, and then he had left. Because he had never belonged there.
　
As a kit, all Obsidian had ever wanted was to be accepted. Was to be appreciated. But, guess what? That had never happened. Previously he had never been accepted or appreciated, he had never been a popular tom, he had never been the cat that everyone's eyes were on. Now he was being cared for? No. That wasn't possible. This was a trick, this was a joke, what was going on? No loner in their right mind would just invite strangers in. And Obsidian should have known it before. Whatever she was doing was horrible... she was putting on a different act, he'd seen it hundreds of times before... but why?
　
The idea of that stung more then anything else. After all, he had thought that she was different. It would appear he had been wrong yet again. What a surprise for him. Being wrong was pretty much all the tom could do right these days, or so it would seem. Being wrong was his hobby now. He was great at it. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd been wrong yet again. For the what? The fourtieth? The fiftieth time in his life? Maybe he should go bigger, more like the hundredth. Yeah, that sounded realistic and right. He'd been wrong so many times. So many times it felt like there was an iron fist crushing his heart now.
　
Her question stunned him. How... how would she guess that? Yes, he was a reserved cat, that was obvious... but how would she guess he'd been hurt? Oh wait-- hadn't he told her the other day? Perhaps... everything was foggy, he couldn't remember quite what he'd said. And if he had, had he been exaggerating? No. Obsidian was never one to exaggerate. "Yeah, Calia. I've been hurt. It's not a big deal, and I should have just stayed put where I was hurt, but at least I was safe from being cared about. If someone cares about you, you worry all the time. Worry that if you get hurt it's going to hurt them. I've cared before. And guess what? It came around and bit me. Hard. And literally." His expression hardened angrily.
　
"How do I know you aren't the same as everyone else? That you aren't lying to me, that you aren't just telling me this to make me think you actually do care, and then you're going to turn around and laugh in my face, huh? How do I know that you care whether I live or die, how can I know if you're..." His voice trailed off and he sighed. It didn't matter. None of this mattered. His voice had raised quite a bit and he lowered it once more. This whole time, he had been looking directly at her. Now, he finally looked away. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I don't matter." He growled in a low voice.
　
He got out of the water after her, but unlike her, he shook the water out of his pelt. But, the tom wasn't hungry either. He didn't want to eat anything. He didn't so much look at the fresh kill, his hues hard and dangerous. Curling up in his nest, he put his tail around himself tightly, like a blanket. "Goodnight." His voice was a good deal softer then before, because he knew-- he knew tomorrow that he would be gone. Whether she would be awake or not didn't matter, he needed to get out of there. He needed to find a place where he would be just another cat. Another cat waiting to have their life thrown away in battle, or fighting one of the other members of the Dusk Syndicate.
　
-----
Morning broke quickly, and Obsidian yawned and stretched. He was careful not to wake the sleeping feline, instead grabbing one of the pieces of prey caught yesterday. The other one was left, abandoned, hopefully to be eaten later that day. Eating quickly, the tom put the bones to the side where they wouldn't be in the middle of everything. And then? He walked away. Granted, not at too quick of a pace... but he walked away all the same. Towards the edge of the territory, towards... his new life. And yet he felt bad. He wanted to stay with her. If she had been telling the truth, she was the first cat who had bothered to tell him that she cared. Whose actions and words matched up perfectly. Perhaps he was hoping she would come. To say goodbye. But, he was too proud to admit it. So instead, he walked away at a slow pace, stopping and looking around every few minutes.

Calia's eyes blinked open, and she was greeted with silence - with the exception of the birdsong. She slowly got to her paws, stretching as she did so. She nearly groaned in relief and satisfaction when her limbs reacted with a crack. Her eyes still half-closed and her sight blurry with fatigue, she stretched her jaws wide in a yawn while she mewed, ``Good morning, Obsidian-`` and then she saw that the dark-pelted tomcat was not in his nest. The day before, she had awoken before him, and she was not prepared to wake up to an empty nest. Shock filled her, causing her to freeze and stare, jaw dropped, at the nest before her. Her fatigue left. Had her words last night caused him to leave?

Obsidian's scent drifted into her mouth, and Calia immediately determined his scent was fresh, meaning he hadn't left too long before. She tried to tell herself that maybe her guest simply had to make dirt, or wanted to go for a short stroll. Then she noticed one of the two pieces of fresh-kill was missing, and she immediately grew even more concerned. Obsidian didn't seem like the type to help himself, rather awaiting permission to do so, or waiting until the other cat does so. Almost like he felt he wasn't welcome to do anything until another cat did so. Calia figured something wasn't exactly right. Frantically, she began to trace his scent, the trail eventually guiding her right to Obsidian.

She spotted the tomcat walking slowly just a tree-length or so before her. She jumped into a run, her paws hitting the floor roughly as she raced to reach him. Calia's heart was practically leaping out of her chest, and she breathed heavily due to her exhaustion from her frantic morning. ``Obsidian!`` She called in a panicked tone. Her vibrant blue eyes shimmered with confusion and concern. As she neared the tomcat, she slowed to a trot until she came to a complete halt. ``Where- where are you going?`` Calia questioned through breathless pants.

She stood with slumped shoulders that rose and fell with every exhale. Her head was lowered, but her confused and concerned gaze was locked on Obsidian's face. Her bushy tail lied behind her, limply resting. Her fur was messy, a hint that she hadn't taken the time in the morning to care for herself. Her mind had immediately been drawn to her guest - and friend - Obsidian.

[lone]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

Calia's eyes blinked open, and she was greeted with silence - with the exception of the birdsong. She slowly got to her paws, stretching as she did so. She nearly groaned in relief and satisfaction when her limbs reacted with a crack. Her eyes still half-closed and her sight blurry with fatigue, she stretched her jaws wide in a yawn while she mewed, ``Good morning, Obsidian-`` and then she saw that the dark-pelted tomcat was not in his nest. The day before, she had awoken before him, and she was not prepared to wake up to an empty nest. Shock filled her, causing her to freeze and stare, jaw dropped, at the nest before her. Her fatigue left. Had her words last night caused him to leave?

Obsidian's scent drifted into her mouth, and Calia immediately determined his scent was fresh, meaning he hadn't left too long before. She tried to tell herself that maybe her guest simply had to make dirt, or wanted to go for a short stroll. Then she noticed one of the two pieces of fresh-kill was missing, and she immediately grew even more concerned. Obsidian didn't seem like the type to help himself, rather awaiting permission to do so, or waiting until the other cat does so. Almost like he felt he wasn't welcome to do anything until another cat did so. Calia figured something wasn't exactly right. Frantically, she began to trace his scent, the trail eventually guiding her right to Obsidian.

She spotted the tomcat walking slowly just a tree-length or so before her. She jumped into a run, her paws hitting the floor roughly as she raced to reach him. Calia's heart was practically leaping out of her chest, and she breathed heavily due to her exhaustion from her frantic morning. ``Obsidian!`` She called in a panicked tone. Her vibrant blue eyes shimmered with confusion and concern. As she neared the tomcat, she slowed to a trot until she came to a complete halt. ``Where- where are you going?`` Calia questioned through breathless pants.

She stood with slumped shoulders that rose and fell with every exhale. Her head was lowered, but her confused and concerned gaze was locked on Obsidian's face. Her bushy tail lied behind her, limply resting. Her fur was messy, a hint that she hadn't taken the time in the morning to care for herself. Her mind had immediately been drawn to her guest - and friend - Obsidian.

The tom's head shot up in shock and half-fear. Was she calling him right then? Right before he was about to leave? He couldn't so much as look at the ginger feline. He didn't want to see the expression on her face when she realized he was leaving. He didn't want to see that she hadn't even taken care of herself yet because she was so woried about him. He didn't want to see the concern in her hues, or hear the panic in her voice. But he could hear it. And he could feel her concern. He could tell she was confused. And, even just knowing her for a short while, he knew she hadn't taken care of herself. All of this without looking at her. His own hues remained looking down at the ground, trying to figure out how to break it to her calmly.
　

"To the Dusk Syndicate. I was planning on leaving today, thought I would get an early start."

He managed to make the words sound calm and careless. As though he were just going for an early morning walk... which technically, that was true. And Obsidian still avoided her gaze. Silence stretched on for a few moments before he continued. "I'm sorry I took the prey. Probably should have left it. If you want, I'll get you some more." Even while saying the words he knew she wouldn't care about that. But he was trying to figure out things to say to avoid the subject that he knew would come up.
　
That she cared. That she was worried. He already understood that she really didn't seem to want him to go. If she could, she would probably have her company stay here forever. But he wasn't the type of cat to stay in one place. Obsidian was a wanderer. He had always been a wanderer. This should have been understood from day one, when he came into her territory. She should have known that he was leaving soon. So then, why did she seem so confused? Was it because he hadn't given her an exact date? "If there's anything I can do for you to thank you for your hospitality, let me know." He really did want to thank her. To show her how much he appreciated it.
　
But he wouldn't stay. That was probably what she wanted, and it made Obsidian furious to think that the one thing she wanted to have, he couldn't give her. The one thing that she was asking for... he was going to have to deny it. Look her in the eye and say 'no.' How was he supposed to do that? The last thing he wanted was to see the constantly cheerful, friendly light in Calia's hues go out. She was such a special feline. But, he knew that he needed to move on. Attachment was bad. Attachment was horrible. So he needed to get out of there before he managed to get closer to the ginger cat.

(this is sooooo sad </3
all the feels)

[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

The tom's head shot up in shock and half-fear. Was she calling him right then? Right before he was about to leave? He couldn't so much as look at the ginger feline. He didn't want to see the expression on her face when she realized he was leaving. He didn't want to see that she hadn't even taken care of herself yet because she was so woried about him. He didn't want to see the concern in her hues, or hear the panic in her voice. But he could hear it. And he could feel her concern. He could tell she was confused. And, even just knowing her for a short while, he knew she hadn't taken care of herself. All of this without looking at her. His own hues remained looking down at the ground, trying to figure out how to break it to her calmly.
　

"To the Dusk Syndicate. I was planning on leaving today, thought I would get an early start."

He managed to make the words sound calm and careless. As though he were just going for an early morning walk... which technically, that was true. And Obsidian still avoided her gaze. Silence stretched on for a few moments before he continued. "I'm sorry I took the prey. Probably should have left it. If you want, I'll get you some more." Even while saying the words he knew she wouldn't care about that. But he was trying to figure out things to say to avoid the subject that he knew would come up.
　
That she cared. That she was worried. He already understood that she really didn't seem to want him to go. If she could, she would probably have her company stay here forever. But he wasn't the type of cat to stay in one place. Obsidian was a wanderer. He had always been a wanderer. This should have been understood from day one, when he came into her territory. She should have known that he was leaving soon. So then, why did she seem so confused? Was it because he hadn't given her an exact date? "If there's anything I can do for you to thank you for your hospitality, let me know." He really did want to thank her. To show her how much he appreciated it.
　
But he wouldn't stay. That was probably what she wanted, and it made Obsidian furious to think that the one thing she wanted to have, he couldn't give her. The one thing that she was asking for... he was going to have to deny it. Look her in the eye and say 'no.' How was he supposed to do that? The last thing he wanted was to see the constantly cheerful, friendly light in Calia's hues go out. She was such a special feline. But, he knew that he needed to move on. Attachment was bad. Attachment was horrible. So he needed to get out of there before he managed to get closer to the ginger cat.

(this is sooooo sad </3
all the feels)

[ it hurts, six pages of cuteness & now its all over... for now ;3 ]

Calia hated that Obsidian wouldn't look at her, although she somewhat understood just why the tomcat refused to meet her eye. She highly doubted she would be able to look at the cat who nursed her for a few days while attempting to leave. However, she couldn't just nod and smile and accept that the cat she seemed to quickly grow attached to was leaving without a word. All the while he spoke, Calia listened silently, her wide-eyed gaze on the ground before her as she tried to absorb what she was being told.

Finally, everything went silent, and it stayed that way for the next few moments as Calia worked out what to say. She shuffled forward, her paws warming up against the ground as she inched closer to Obsidian. She remained silent as she moved, her gaze remaining locked on the ground before her. She came to a halt beside Obsidian, her chest heaving slightly with every quiet breath. Calia looked over at the tomcat, her head barely moving as she glanced at him via the corner of her eye.

After a deep inhale and a shaky exhale, Calia spoke, her tail-tip waving slightly. ``I don't expect any prey in return - you caught it, remember? It was yours. Besides, I'd give you fresh-kill willingly, okay? Don't you know me just a little by now? I'd offer a cat my last breath just so they'd live a moment longer.`` Calia purred softly, gently rocking back on her haunches. She curled her bushy tail around her forepaws, finding comfort in the warmth it offered her feet. She continued to look at Obsidian from the corner of her eye. ``And I'd normally say I don't need anything in return for my hospitality. But I've decided to be selfish just this once. As a sign of your appreciation, promise me you will be careful. Like I said, the Syndicate is a dangerously cruel place.`` She shook her head in both a saddening and disapproving way as she spoke of the Syndicate. Oh, how she despised that place!

[lone]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

[ it hurts, six pages of cuteness & now its all over... for now ;3 ]

Calia hated that Obsidian wouldn't look at her, although she somewhat understood just why the tomcat refused to meet her eye. She highly doubted she would be able to look at the cat who nursed her for a few days while attempting to leave. However, she couldn't just nod and smile and accept that the cat she seemed to quickly grow attached to was leaving without a word. All the while he spoke, Calia listened silently, her wide-eyed gaze on the ground before her as she tried to absorb what she was being told.

Finally, everything went silent, and it stayed that way for the next few moments as Calia worked out what to say. She shuffled forward, her paws warming up against the ground as she inched closer to Obsidian. She remained silent as she moved, her gaze remaining locked on the ground before her. She came to a halt beside Obsidian, her chest heaving slightly with every quiet breath. Calia looked over at the tomcat, her head barely moving as she glanced at him via the corner of her eye.

After a deep inhale and a shaky exhale, Calia spoke, her tail-tip waving slightly. ``I don't expect any prey in return - you caught it, remember? It was yours. Besides, I'd give you fresh-kill willingly, okay? Don't you know me just a little by now? I'd offer a cat my last breath just so they'd live a moment longer.`` Calia purred softly, gently rocking back on her haunches. She curled her bushy tail around her forepaws, finding comfort in the warmth it offered her feet. She continued to look at Obsidian from the corner of her eye. ``And I'd normally say I don't need anything in return for my hospitality. But I've decided to be selfish just this once. As a sign of your appreciation, promise me you will be careful. Like I said, the Syndicate is a dangerously cruel place.`` She shook her head in both a saddening and disapproving way as she spoke of the Syndicate. Oh, how she despised that place!

They were just words. Everything she had said, everything that left her maw that he had been so hesitant to believe and had almost, almost believed that it would actually be true... they were just words. He knew this now. And no, she hadn't said anything wrong, he had just realized that words couldn't hold meaning. He'd been lied to before... with words. Because they were just empty, meaningless things that were used to communicate. There was no depth to them. How did he know she meant a word she said? Oh there were always actions, you might be thinking. Yeah? Well how did Obsidian know she wasn't an actress, fighting back her hatred and anger to trick him? To rip him apart as he felt she was doing now? He wasn't going to let her in his head. He would shut her out. Shut her soft, gentle ginger pelt out... shut her sparkling, friendly blue hues out... shut her loving, soft voice out... shut her warm, welcoming laugh out.
　
Get all of that out of his head and forget. Forget what she had done for him. Forget their spar, forget her words of care, forget her playfulness, forget everything about her. Forget this place. He no longer felt guarded against his own emotions, because they would just bring words. Words she would have no way of knowing whether he meant or not. And while he still couldn't bring himself to look up at her and see that familiar spark in her eyes die out and make them dull. He couldn't bring himself to look up and see no smile on her face. See her expression when he did something he already knew he would regret. But, they were words. Words had no power anymore. Everything was meaningless, the Dusk Syndicate was just a name - two words. Two stupid, powerless words. He would not listen to a word to change his mind. He had latched onto this and he was done.
　

"How do I know you aren't lying to me, Calia? How do I know you aren't just saying those things? Do you know how much I want to believe you right now?"

This was true. He wanted to believe her... everything was raw emotion, no filter, no nothing. Because Obsidian was finished with lies. Guarding himself was still important, oh yes - there were things locked away. Painful memories that even he had trouble remembering. "You're just saying words. I don't know whether to believe you or not - because all you're saying are words. No meaning. No power. You're just another cat that I met, and I'll forget you as soon as I walk away from here. Nothing you've said will have power over me. So stop trying to get inside my head, okay? It partly worked. Because all I wanted to do was stay here and be safe and believe you. But I'm not going to, because I'm not sure if I can trust you."

　
No, he wasn't afraid... as some were... to admit that he wasn't sure whether he could trust someone. Because they could say it a thousand times and still, he might not believe them. He might not know whether they were safe or not, and he already was beginning to regret some of the things he'd said to Calia, but... what else was he supposed to do? She needed to stay out of his head. Even if everything she were saying was true... it hurt every time to think that he might be staying here. He might have been staying here, but he didn't... and it made him almost want to cry. But he wouldn't. Obsidian would never let her see him cry... he would cry on his own, as he had done before. He would cry away from others. He would let his feelings out someday. And he would cry.

(Obsidian being the drama king here
poor Calia though, having him say all that to her)

[AbsurdJinx]

Originally Posted by Lonestar23

They were just words. Everything she had said, everything that left her maw that he had been so hesitant to believe and had almost, almost believed that it would actually be true... they were just words. He knew this now. And no, she hadn't said anything wrong, he had just realized that words couldn't hold meaning. He'd been lied to before... with words. Because they were just empty, meaningless things that were used to communicate. There was no depth to them. How did he know she meant a word she said? Oh there were always actions, you might be thinking. Yeah? Well how did Obsidian know she wasn't an actress, fighting back her hatred and anger to trick him? To rip him apart as he felt she was doing now? He wasn't going to let her in his head. He would shut her out. Shut her soft, gentle ginger pelt out... shut her sparkling, friendly blue hues out... shut her loving, soft voice out... shut her warm, welcoming laugh out.
　
Get all of that out of his head and forget. Forget what she had done for him. Forget their spar, forget her words of care, forget her playfulness, forget everything about her. Forget this place. He no longer felt guarded against his own emotions, because they would just bring words. Words she would have no way of knowing whether he meant or not. And while he still couldn't bring himself to look up at her and see that familiar spark in her eyes die out and make them dull. He couldn't bring himself to look up and see no smile on her face. See her expression when he did something he already knew he would regret. But, they were words. Words had no power anymore. Everything was meaningless, the Dusk Syndicate was just a name - two words. Two stupid, powerless words. He would not listen to a word to change his mind. He had latched onto this and he was done.
　

"How do I know you aren't lying to me, Calia? How do I know you aren't just saying those things? Do you know how much I want to believe you right now?"

This was true. He wanted to believe her... everything was raw emotion, no filter, no nothing. Because Obsidian was finished with lies. Guarding himself was still important, oh yes - there were things locked away. Painful memories that even he had trouble remembering. "You're just saying words. I don't know whether to believe you or not - because all you're saying are words. No meaning. No power. You're just another cat that I met, and I'll forget you as soon as I walk away from here. Nothing you've said will have power over me. So stop trying to get inside my head, okay? It partly worked. Because all I wanted to do was stay here and be safe and believe you. But I'm not going to, because I'm not sure if I can trust you."

　
No, he wasn't afraid... as some were... to admit that he wasn't sure whether he could trust someone. Because they could say it a thousand times and still, he might not believe them. He might not know whether they were safe or not, and he already was beginning to regret some of the things he'd said to Calia, but... what else was he supposed to do? She needed to stay out of his head. Even if everything she were saying was true... it hurt every time to think that he might be staying here. He might have been staying here, but he didn't... and it made him almost want to cry. But he wouldn't. Obsidian would never let her see him cry... he would cry on his own, as he had done before. He would cry away from others. He would let his feelings out someday. And he would cry.

(Obsidian being the drama king here
poor Calia though, having him say all that to her)

[ the sad part is that they'll both act like whats going on here will be forgotten the next day, but they'll really be crying the next day over what they just lost ]

Calia flinched at his harsh words. Unlike Obsidian, she believed words were meaningful; they carried much power. She was living proof - her heart ached as a result of his retort, and sadness filled her sparkling blue eyes. She was aware of the possibility that Obsidian must live his seemingly cruel past every day. Over the periods of times where she nursed passing travelers, she met many cats with bad histories. However, some of them were more willing to share their backstory with her compared to Obsidian. They would tell her how their pasts haunted them every day, their pasts guided their every pawstep. They were either very cautious, or very outgoing - there was never an in between. But some would tell her - the ones who beat their past - that once they successfully faced their past and accepted what had happened, once they came to peaceful terms with their backstory, they felt as if they could be more carefree.

She felt Obsidian was one of those cats that had lived a past of abuse, and had not yet let go of what had happened. Calia strongly believed that it was her who must help the suffering tomcat beside her. But if he was destined to leave the garden... how could she ever help him? And there was no way she'd leave the garden - she wasn't made for the darkness of the Dusk Syndicate. And she didn't think Obsidian was fit for the Syndicate, either.

She folded her ears back in hurt, shuffling her paws below her. Calia watched her paws disturb the ground below them. She didn't want to look at Obsidian anymore. Calia didn't want to be forgotten - she most definitely didn't want to get inside his head and eventually hurt him. Because of the exotic way she thought, Calia didn't place blame on Obsidian, but instead, she blamed herself. From her point of view, it was her own fault that Obsidian felt the way he currently did. If she hadn't been so... so... confusing, then maybe he wouldn't be in the emotional pain he was in.

Calia shook her head sadly, releasing an also-sad - almost tired - sigh. She turned her head until she looked at Obsidian. Her blue eyes were soft, the hurt hidden away. ``I'm-I'm sorry you feel that way, Obsidian. But I've done all I can to prove to you that I'm trustworthy. I fed you, I offered you shelter... Doesn't that mean anything?`` Though her words could be categorized beneath angry, her tone was one of desperation. She both wanted and needed Obsidian to trust her, but for some reason, despite all her kindness, he refused to.

[lone]

Originally Posted by AbsurdJinx

[ the sad part is that they'll both act like whats going on here will be forgotten the next day, but they'll really be crying the next day over what they just lost ]

Calia flinched at his harsh words. Unlike Obsidian, she believed words were meaningful; they carried much power. She was living proof - her heart ached as a result of his retort, and sadness filled her sparkling blue eyes. She was aware of the possibility that Obsidian must live his seemingly cruel past every day. Over the periods of times where she nursed passing travelers, she met many cats with bad histories. However, some of them were more willing to share their backstory with her compared to Obsidian. They would tell her how their pasts haunted them every day, their pasts guided their every pawstep. They were either very cautious, or very outgoing - there was never an in between. But some would tell her - the ones who beat their past - that once they successfully faced their past and accepted what had happened, once they came to peaceful terms with their backstory, they felt as if they could be more carefree.

She felt Obsidian was one of those cats that had lived a past of abuse, and had not yet let go of what had happened. Calia strongly believed that it was her who must help the suffering tomcat beside her. But if he was destined to leave the garden... how could she ever help him? And there was no way she'd leave the garden - she wasn't made for the darkness of the Dusk Syndicate. And she didn't think Obsidian was fit for the Syndicate, either.

She folded her ears back in hurt, shuffling her paws below her. Calia watched her paws disturb the ground below them. She didn't want to look at Obsidian anymore. Calia didn't want to be forgotten - she most definitely didn't want to get inside his head and eventually hurt him. Because of the exotic way she thought, Calia didn't place blame on Obsidian, but instead, she blamed herself. From her point of view, it was her own fault that Obsidian felt the way he currently did. If she hadn't been so... so... confusing, then maybe he wouldn't be in the emotional pain he was in.

Calia shook her head sadly, releasing an also-sad - almost tired - sigh. She turned her head until she looked at Obsidian. Her blue eyes were soft, the hurt hidden away. ``I'm-I'm sorry you feel that way, Obsidian. But I've done all I can to prove to you that I'm trustworthy. I fed you, I offered you shelter... Doesn't that mean anything?`` Though her words could be categorized beneath angry, her tone was one of desperation. She both wanted and needed Obsidian to trust her, but for some reason, despite all her kindness, he refused to.

The black tom didn't like seeing her hurt. It gave him a sense that he was in the wrong here, that he was testing her and challenging her over nothing. But that wasn't right! He was just being safe. Keeping himself away from harm, just like he needed to... just as he had learned was right. He folded his ears back as though in an attempt to shut her words out of his mind. Why was she so determined to prove herself to him? Why did she want him to believe her so much? Obsidian should have walked away right there. Right then. But, for some reason... he didn't. He didn't want to leave and he didn't want to walk away, and yet he knew that it was going to happen at some point.
　
This wasn't a safe place. This wasn't his home. He wasn't wanted here. She was just polite and nice and wanted him gone. Either that or she was tricking him, and neither one was going to make Obsidian stay. She wants me gone. No one wants me. Black cats are bad luck. That's what he had grown up hearing, although the reasoning behind it had always been a mystery to him. Perhaps he was his own bad luck. Why did she want his trust so badly? No one wanted trust that badly, there had to be an alterior motive. And, in Obsidian's experience, if she wanted his trust so badly then it must be a bad one.
　

"How can I know whether you're telling me the truth or not?"

His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper, quiet and gentle and worried... his eyes flickered down at his paws and he unsheathed his claws, tearing up dirt beneath them and trying to calm himself with the motion. Something was very wrong if she believed he was going to stay after all the hints she had given at her true personality. The tom was trying to envision her as cruel, and mean, and deceitful... just so he wouldn't feel so bad about leaving. But it was rough. "I'm sorry, Calia. I - I think it would be best if we went our seperate ways, huh? Just... just forget about me, and I'll do the same." Because he felt bad, he was trying to be gentler.
　
Though the words came out rough and harsher then he would have preferred. Part of him wanted her to stop him again. Because, deep down, it felt good to have someone care. To have someone want him to stay alive, to be safe, and to act like a Mother to him - a Mother he hadn't had the benefit of growing up with. And, at the same time his instinct to RUN was strong. It was stronger then his instinct to have Calia there, and he stopped... thinking for a moment as though on what to say next. And when words did come, they were a great deal heavier then they should have been. "Goodbye, sunshine."

[lone]

Obsidian had never thought that he would be back here. He had always thought that, after the Dusk Syndicate disbanded, he would end up finding his own territory. And he had, a little ways away from Calia's own, but he had thought... he had thought he might as well stop back by. The thought of the ginger cat brought back bittersweet memories - how badly she had tried to earn his trust, how nice she had been to him, and how roughly he had snapped at her before. Sparring with her. Her giving him shelter, and him planning to leave without so much as a 'goodbye...' it was all difficult to think about. But he was back, just to tell her that he was okay, and then he would be leaving back to his own territory. The black tom felt somewhat uncomfortable stepping paw on her territory. Like he shouldn't be there anymore.

Did he even belong there now? Discomfort flew through every part of his mind, making him wonder if he should have just left well enough alone, but he figured he owed this much to her. Calia had been worried when he had left for the Dusk Syndicate. He just wanted to tell her that he was okay. That nothing bad had happened to him. But he still wouldn't reveal his location, or anything else - he would rather not elaborate on the goings-on in the Dusk Syndicate. Tell her that she was right. That they really were just bloodthirsty and cruel, and he probably shouldn't have gone there. He didn't want to say that they had disbanded. Because he knew he wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that. Swallowing hard, Obsidian took another few pawsteps foward, his ears pinned back to his head, and his eyes lowered to the ground.

He looked submissive. Like he was coming home to a mother who had scolded him. Part of him wanted to trust her - she was one of those warm cats that it felt like you could tell everything to, and it would be okay. Only, Obsidian had never had one of those in his life. So he didn't know that. He didn't know to trust her. So he was scared. Swallowing hard, the tom lifted his eyes and scanned the territory. Everything was like he remembered it. "...Calia? It's - it's Obsidian."

@AbsurdJinx

[AbsurdJinx]

@Lonestar23


Calia was currently overseeing the work of the twoleg who was tending to the gardens. As the twoleg scraped a strange-looking tool along the earth, Calia tilted her head slightly to the side in curiosity, and when it pulled some of the flowers from the ground, Calia nearly whimpered as if the loss of plants hurt her. She sat on the bench, her thick-furred tail curled over her paws. The twoleg was at work on one side of the bridge. Whenever the twoleg neared Calia's home under the bridge, she would yowl and the twoleg would back off. Luckily, the twoleg seemed to get the hang of it after a few yowls so Calia hasn't had to strain her vocal chords for quite a while. She continued watching the twoleg's actions very carefully, curious of what it was doing with her plants. The twoleg came often, but Calia had never been able to determine what it was doing. Maybe it was taking her herbs for their healers to use?


It was leaf-fall, meaning the leaves on the trees were earning color and the winds were getting colder. It also meant some snow would fall, but Calia didn't expect the snow to stay for long - it never did. The snow would form a very thin blanket over the ground, the cold temperatures would freeze the pond over, but the snow was always gone within a couple days. Sometimes, the twolegs who owned the cabin within the garden would visit during this season, and Calia truly enjoyed the twolegs' company. Sometimes, the twolegs would invite her into their cabin to eat their special twoleg food and stay the night out of the chill. She even gave them each names - the male one she named `Harry`, which is rather self-explanatory, and the female one she named `Bright`, for the bright-colored fur on top her head. And the twoleg that came every now and then to tend to the garden she called `Herb` because he seemed to like plants.


``Oi! Herb, those stalks protect my den!`` Calia yowled to the twoleg, who glanced back at her with a toothy grin before stepping away from the stalks and caring for another patch of plants. She felt her paws itch to move, and so she jumped elegantly down from her position on the bench, and with a final glance at Herb she was on her way. She'd barely stepped into the forest surrounding the garden when she heard her name. She paused, straining her ears to listen, and that's when she heard his name.


Obsidian? No way... Calia hoped he was still alive after he left for the Dusk Syndicate, but a part of her which was deep down convinced her otherwise. And if he survived in the wasteland known as Dusk Syndicate territory, she certainly didn't think he'd return to find her. She thought she'd seen the last of Obsidian. After a few moments of silent debate, Calia let her excitement overpower her doubt, and she called loudly, ``Obsidian! Obsidian!`` while frantically searching the area for the tomcat she desperately missed.