you said i’d be your only one, that we would last forever. i think that was just a lie, just like every other. your words skewered me with sugar, your eyes full of deceit. my heart beats with broken defeat, and i watched as you walked away with glee.
i was your dream girl, but i guess you woke up.
the sweetness of our candyland melted away into the sand while the sun set behind us. you went on to be with her, leaving me alone. ever since you left, i’ve been torn up inside. nobody has seen me in days, my phone is dead, my eyes are dry. i hope you’re happy, darling.
i hope she breaks your heart.
a laugh, a squeal, they echo through my mind. the memories will never fade, as they were so kind. you were once my favorite one, you were once my sun. i was your moon, your stars, your entire solar system. really, i was only mere debris compared to her whole universe.
oh, my dear, have fun with her. she clearly is not me. i bet she already ran, her golden locks curled into the wind. are you on your floor right now, with a bottle of whiskey and a note in your hand? does it read, like you said to me, you are just too boring?
i must go now, my sweet. the time is running thin. don’t fret, just yet, for i will be back one day. as each day passes, my heart beats louder, and my thoughts stray from you. my body has grown stronger, and i worry for you no longer.
goodbye, dear. i’m glad that you are not here.
i smirked and closed the journal, setting it on my desk. eyes flicking towards the digital clock by my bedside table, i huffed once realizing the time. it was nearly four in the morning.
sighing, i climbed from my bed and stood, stretching. no wonder i was so tired, although i desperately need to adjust my sleeping schedule. no work would ever get finished if i’m always sleeping through it.
my feet cramped slightly, causing me to stumble as all the blood was sent rushing to my head. a groan slipped through my lips and i rubbed my face, shaking my head to clear my vision. who would care if i looked idiotic doing it? i lived alone.
bumbling my way to the bathroom, i looked in the mirror. horrendous bags resided under my eyes. i hadn’t left the house in weeks. the only food i ate was delivery pizza, and even then, i still kept leftovers. my stash of coffee was running low— which was rather disastrous, to say the least.
i grabbed a clump of hair that was laying over my shoulder. the dark brown strands needed a trim; the split ends were becoming a nuisance. oh, well, at least i took a shower every now and then. not even a couch potato should smell like skunk spray and look like a greasy slice of bacon.
blowing a raspberry, i moved to do my business at the toilet before trampling over the mess in my room, trying to get to the door. after what seemed like forever, i managed to do so. the hallway outside was dark and spooky. every floorboard creaked with the sound of age.
my heart pounded. this house always terrified me at night. i’ve only been here for three months, but i have always wanted to get out as fast as possible. it was not a game.
out of habit, my eyes closed once i passed his room. i didn’t need him invading my thoughts again. the journal was supposed to help fix that. no therapist would help me. they only ask questions, and that’s not what i need.
i padded into the kitchen once it cane into view. every milky wall sparked a surge of sickness within me, and i had no idea how to handle it. he had chosen every color to paint the walls, ceilings and everything else. his promise lay bright in my head and a sense of dread settled in me, weighing me down. i needed a drink.
water. yes, water was what i wanted. that’s what everybody needs.
running a hand through my hair, i stumbled towards the sink. under it, the cupboard contained the water bottles. all i needed was to bend down and grab a bottle. not very difficult.
well, not difficult, unless you count that my vision had begun to blur. darkness spread around the edges of my sight, stalking across it until i was left blind. my breathing had become ragged.
“water,” i choked, falling to my knees. blood roared in my ears, the thump of it drowning out every other thing within the room. the cupboard opened with slight difficulty, but i managed to finally reach the bottles beneath it. picking one up, i struggled to open it due to the shakiness of my hands.
minutes ticked by before i was chugging the drink, gulping in a breath once finished.
my vision cleared and i was able to breathe once again. i stood and dropped the empty water bottle on the floor, then dragged myself back to my room.
i needed some sleep.
the shadows seemed to creep up on me as i laid under the covers, only my head visible. darkness danced to a silent song around me, fear slowly rising. checking the time, i exhaled a sigh of relief to see that there was only an hour left of the moonlight. dawn was going to come soon and i would be allowed some much-needed rest.
frowning, i pulled out my laptop, which hadn’t been used in a record number of days, and turned the power on. after it had been booted up, i went to a new document and began to type, fingers skimming over the keys.
nobody finds it special that people’s moods can change with the most simplistic of words. sadness is brought upon others easier than happiness is. trust can be broken a lot easier than it is gained.
but why is our lives dependent on things, on people that destroy our trust with a single word? why does it all matter? we will all die one day. famous celebrities, family, friends, they all die every day. and there is nothing we can do about it.
so, honey, the next time you want to bring someone to their favorite place only to dispose of them, then you should rethink your choices. once you’ve managed that, then good luck, you maggot-brained moron.
have fun, darling.
have fun, darling
