ShadowClan Life Before Destruction

[graves]

needlecry sat down. yay.

[RedHead]

Originally Posted by Solstice!

ouch. okay, daydream deserved that one.

they had been busy. the last time they had talked was right when they were made apprentices..god, that had felt like a life time ago. since then, they had loved, and lost, almost died countless times, and fought with so many people. and they had been so in their own head and sorrow, that they didnt even look towards their brother for help.no, instead they pushed him away. why? they didnt know. maybe it was something with emotional maturity, wanting to claim everything was fine when it wasnt, and then sulk in your own sorrows. granted, daydream had been through alot to warrent that. they had lost everything they loved. they had befriended cricketpaw, they had loved cricketpaw, and the next thing you know she was found slaughtered. dead. they had almost died during the flood and considered ending their own life, but they didnt, and ended up meeting geckoleaf that way. she had been the mother they never got, the nurtering kind that wasnt stricken with grief so hard she couldnt care for her kits. she taught them how to care for themselves, to eat, to sleep, to have hope. to be happy. she was their happy. and then she went missing. and then she died in daydreams arms, right on shadowclan soil. they could still feel how soaked their fur had been with her blood. they shook themselves of the memory. and then flashpaw had stepped down from her position due to stress, and it was daydreams fault. they had put so much pressure on her from their own problems she felt the need to leave. and in that moment they felt like they had nothing, so they pushed their brother away. that was better than forming a bond, only to lose him too, right?

wrong. obviously theres been more hurt than good here. and it was all daydreams fault.

"i know..and im sorry." they replied honestly. their was no aggression in it at all, their tone much softer than their brothers. they could understand the hate and distaste he must be feeling, which only weighed them down even more. they felt bad, there was nothing more to it. "i..i wanted to know how you were doing-" they piped up again, trying to make conversation despite his short answers,"i heard you had kits. im really happy for you," they wished they couldve been there to meet their neices and nephews right when they were born, but they werent.

Sorry? Is that all you can say? Green eyes shone with disbelief as he stared at his sibling. Canarysong couldn’t get a grasp on his emotions, they were slipping away from him with every breath. His hurt and anger all bubbles beneath the surface, continuing to push upwards. Raw fear was what was holding it down. Fear of what he could become, fear of who he has become. Letting out a shaky breath, Canarysong blinked and looked away from Daydream, averting his bright green eyes down to the ground. He couldn’t look at them anymore. They were the cause of some of his hurt. Sure, the pale tabby didn’t know it, but they had hurt Canarysong. A lot. Their abscence had left a deep wound in him, which took a while to scar over. And with all these new, recent developments, Canarysong could feel the wound opening again. He could feel all the things he wanted to say inside the wound, and if he didn’t expel them, then he could develop and infection. And then he’d need some major healing.
But you’ve never needed help, right? Canarysong liked to be independent. He didn’t like to rely on anyone. And even though Daydream, his only littermate, was the medicine cat of Shadowclan, Canarysong was a fighter. He fought, and refused to be tended to. He could care for himself. Let Daydream tend to those who need them more. Who are more important. That’s how it’s always been, why should it change?

At their mention of his kits, green eyes found their way to golden again. Flicking his ears, he nodded slowly. “Yes. Kits. Motherless...” He trailed off, remembering what the absence of their mother had done to the two littermates. Even though these kits would never know their mother, would they sill face the same repercussions? They’ve got you. Byt Canarysong didn’t believe he was wualified to raise kits. He grew up without a dad and an absent mother. He didn’t know what it meant to be a parent. “And i’m not going to be much help to them.” He finished, flicking his fluffy tail as he eyes wandered over towards the nursery. Looking at daydream again, Canarysong debated whether or not telling them about Silvernight. How he had had his heart broken by two she-cats, both in different ways, both ending up with kits.
Am I really that desperate for love and attention?
Canarysong knew they answer was yes.

[Madelaine]

Originally Posted by Christmas Snowfall

Nightfall laid her head on her mates back as he laid on her paws and let a soft purr come out of her too.

Dovetalon licked her cheek and wrapped his tail around her. "I love you.", he breathed. The tom watched the clearing and all the cats in it.

[Moon Lily]

Originally Posted by ~+Winter+~

Winterpaw sighed as she collapsed in her den, after almost crying when she heard a raccoon cry. She hated that cry, because it meant that something was hunting it and the raccoon knew it was the end of the line. She had left the area and gotten a few mice on the other end of the territory. Winterpaw started grooming herself when she had reached her nest.

(Hi! Sorry, can I squeeze in?)

Kiwipaw walked in slowly. She noticed Winterpaw grooming herself, but she looked a little shaken. I wonder why? she thought. "Hi Winterpaw!" She purred. " What've you been up to? " Asked Kiwipaw. She trotted over to her nest, and laid down as well.

[Fuzzy]

Originally Posted by Duskflight

@Fuzzyfeline

Settled down in a somewhat warm corner of the clearing, Badgersong stared blankly at the cats milling around the clearing, grabbing their food and conversing with others. His corner was silent, just him. At one point in time, his friend Foxspring would have been there, quietly enjoying his company, perhaps occasionally offering his thoughts on the laziness of their clanmates. But those days were over. Foxspring was with Starclan now and Badgersong was left here, in this corner, watching life go on while he felt as if he were at a standstill.
He truly had no one. His mate, that he had three kits with had abandoned them to seek the life of a loner. The very thought of this betrayal caused his muzzle to curl into a silent snarl for a moment. One of the kits had followed her into that clanless life, another one was killed by sickness, and then there was Ibisprowl. Ibisprowl wanted nothing to do with him.
Due to his obsession with abbiding by the warrior code and constantly finding work to do, there was little bond shared between the father and son and more often than not, Ibisprowl resented him for never being there. He was practically raised by a she-cat he never knew. He hardly ever saw his father, and when he did, Badgersong never seemed to have anything to say to him.

Exhaling through his nose, the scarred black and white tom would glance at his hardened paws. He could accept that he was a failure of a father, he was not there for his son, but he also accepted that there was nothing to be done for it. The damage had been done, there was no fire to rekindle with him. Ibisprowl hated him and that was that. When Badgersong retired to the elders den, if he even allowed himself to do that, he would pass knowing that his sole surviving son hated him.
But at least he knew he had done well for his clan. The very scar that he bore, which hindered his movement more and more these days, especially on the coldest ones, was received when he protected his clanmates from a badger. A close friend of his died to it, but Badgersong had fought it off. His son wouldn't see his bravery, his determination to solely serve his clan, he'd only see that he was never there for him.

The patrol he was assigned to wasn't for quite some time, so the senior warrior would lay his head in his paws and quietly watch his clanmates enjoy their lives. The lives he fought to protect with every waking hour.

Mind swirling like a storm raging in the night. Heart shattered into a million pieces to many times to be fixed. Life was chaos. Living without rules was reckless. All these things happened in such a short period of time. Greyfrost, drowned moons back. Sparrowflight, disappeared without a trace most likely meeting the same demise as her mate. Darkpaw, killed. Dawnpaw, Emberpaw, disappeared from existence it seemed, no one missing them. Commentpaw, fell from a tree at not more then a kit. All these things and many more hurt, they had happened and passed leaving them forgotten like the dust in the wind. But Blackpaw never forget, it was fresh in the ebony molly's mind. The death of her father, mother, littermates, cousins and pretty much any other kin she knew of. All gone. Chaos raged but there was one thing that kept it at bay. The warrior code. Order in the madness, peace when nothing else made since. It was the only thing to balance out the crazy. Only light in this dark cold world.

Head high and ears open the night black molly scanned the clearing with pale green eyes. The long fur making out her body a bit ruff and ruffled from training and hunting earlier that day. In all honesty Blackpaw wasn't sure who or what she was looking for there was only one person she could think of that she knew who was still alive, or assumed to be alive but she hadn't talked to him in forever and wasn't even sure if he still remembered her. Even her own mentor wasn't around, presumed dead or missing. Though she was so close to being a warrior it'd almost be a waste to appoint her a new mentor, so she kinda just tagged along with other apprentices and there mentors or a few warriors to make sure she learned. It wasn't in the code but nor was anything against it so it was okay, right?
Eyes, glittering in the light caught sight of a quiet corner with a tom who appeared to be an elder though she was sure she'd seen him in a patrol recently. Normally once you were older you'd retire to the Elders den for rest till you passed and the young female respected them for their moons if work. But who'd want to be stuck in camp all day with no duties to do? Patrols and meeting things warriors did. Wasn't that the point of life? To serve your Clan and protect your Clanmates. At least that was what Blackpaw had convinced herself. It was the only solid thing in her life.

After making up her mind the night black apprentice made her way over to the black and white tom. Who just by looking at she could tell he was wiser and way more experienced the herself. Dipping her head in a formal greeting she wasn't entirely sure if the warrior, if not elder, wanted any company. "Do you mind if join you?" Blackpaw asked with a twitch of her ears.

[vellichor]

Windygale stared at a leaf. He wondered what would happen if he ate it. So, he did. It was crunchy.

[Fuzzy]

@Lilyfur2

Deep shadows laid a cross the den floor casted my the lowering sun. It wasn't dark yet but it would be soon. In the growing darkness that seemed to fill the den Hollyshadow seemed no more then another shadow. Other then the flash of green from her bright holly green eyes that was all she was in th dark. Which was one reason she enjoyed the night. A little while and the sun would dip behind the towering pines till morning. Maybe she'd go out? A night walk wasn't unusual for her, it cleared her head she could just get it all out without worrying about her Clanmates seeing how pitiful she was. Her tears, her pain, the nightmares that hunted her in her sleep. No one wanted to see that. No one would understand. She was a mess. All because of one memory that wouldn't leave her.
Curling deeper into her best the night black molly peered out nose twitching. She hadn't wanted to get up this morning having gotten no sleep last night die to nightmares. But she had too, she couldn't let her Clanmates see her the way she felt. They wouldn't understand. She was broken, having to hold her shattered pieces together so no one knew. Knew the shattering truth. Sighing Hollyshadow drifted into thought not wanting to sleep.
So quiet...

[Moon Lily]

Originally Posted by Fuzzyfeline

@Lilyfur2

Deep shadows laid a cross the den floor casted my the lowering sun. It wasn't dark yet but it would be soon. In the growing darkness that seemed to fill the den Hollyshadow seemed no more then another shadow. Other then the flash of green from her bright holly green eyes that was all she was in th dark. Which was one reason she enjoyed the night. A little while and the sun would dip behind the towering pines till morning. Maybe she'd go out? A night walk wasn't unusual for her, it cleared her head she could just get it all out without worrying about her Clanmates seeing how pitiful she was. Her tears, her pain, the nightmares that hunted her in her sleep. No one wanted to see that. No one would understand. She was a mess. All because of one memory that wouldn't leave her.
Curling deeper into her best the night black molly peered out nose twitching. She hadn't wanted to get up this morning having gotten no sleep last night die to nightmares. But she had too, she couldn't let her Clanmates see her the way she felt. They wouldn't understand. She was broken, having to hold her shattered pieces together so no one knew. Knew the shattering truth. Sighing Hollyshadow drifted into thought not wanting to sleep.
So quiet...

The shadows shifted as Raventuft entered the den. It was so silent, not a noise could be heard. Everycat was completely hidden by the darkness of the night. The moon shines in the distance. Raventuft felt his solitude, and greeted it openly. He heard a shuffle in the corner. He spun around, to face a shadowy figure in the distance. "Hello? Who's there?" He asked. He waited for the figure to answer, it's green eyes flashing in the night.

[Fuzzy]

Originally Posted by Lilyfur2

The shadows shifted as Raventuft entered the den. It was so silent, not a noise could be heard. Everycat was completely hidden by the darkness of the night. The moon shines in the distance. Raventuft felt his solitude, and greeted it openly. He heard a shuffle in the corner. He spun around, to face a shadowy figure in the distance. "Hello? Who's there?" He asked. He waited for the figure to answer, it's green eyes flashing in the night.

Eyes dull and unforced while she started into space Holyshadow didn't even noticed someone walk in until he spoke. A flash shot through her jolly colored gaze as a jump spread throughout her body. Blinking she tried to figure out who or what this figure was in front of her. Obviously it was a cat and from ShadowClan but that was all she could tell. "Hello," She echoed sitting so she wouldn't be looking up the whole time. "Hollyshadow, and you?" The night black feline asked twitching her ears back. Who was he? She couldn't remember but was sure he was a fellow warrior.

[The Cannibal]

Originally Posted by Mistletoe

He blinked in surprise as the other feline's head shot up. Had he startled his Clanmate? It seemed he was shocked, but why? Was it the fact that he was... him? He didn't think himself as... popular, per se, but he used to be the deputy. Getting himself demoted only made himself more known. Well, just because he was well-known didn't mean he would treat himself like he was the Clan leader. No, he was a warrior. On the same level as everyone else.

But before he could say, do anything, even formulate a thought, Ibisprowl started to speak. Oh no, he seemed nervous. He didn't really want that kind of vibe from himself, maybe he had been too formal. Windygale himself was usually awkward and loud, and he loved conversation. The thing was, he believed he was getting better at pairing names with faces. Ugh, he could still recall his first Gathering, not recognizing Auroraflame, perhaps one of the most seasoned deputies. But he was getting better, and maybe that was becoming more formal than his usual "Hey... you!" He also believed that the pressures of deputyship had forced him to lose part of his joking nature and gain a more serious, businesslike one at times.

"No - no, Ibisprowl, you're fine. I just wanted to talk, if that's fine with you." He shifted his weight, trying t move just a smidge to get the tension out of his muscles. He hoped to have just a normal conversation with Ibis, get to know more than just his name. After giving Ibis a decent amount of time for a response, he asked a question. "So... how have you been doing?" Honestly, the fuzzy feline hated conversation starters. They were all so bland and only left room for a select few responses. And yet that's all he could think of. Just, how are you. Yuck.

The young tom couldn't help his nervousness, he was naturally a nervous wreck, but even more so around cats with authority. Even if Windygale was demoted, he still was the main driving force behind peacekeeper rallies along with Daydream, and, well, he was the deputy. Ibisprowl was a quiet tom, mostly reclusive but could be prodded into conversation with others given the right cat. He needed more friends, but who would approach a sad, quiet, soft spoken recluse like him? It surprised him every time another cat spoke to him, even if it was just a deputy assigning him to a patrol. It was as if the idea that another cat knew that he existed surprised him.

Talk? But about what? Does he think I did something? Does he think I told on him? Does he want to tell me I need to be a better warrior? His mind rattled off so many terrible things that the former deputy might want to talk to him about, and his gaze drifted away to look at his paws, troubled and growing upset as his thoughts spiraled into worse and worse ideas. Then he realized that he never really responded to the other tom and immediately tensed up. You idiot, you look like you totally ignored him!
"Oh sorry, um. Y-Yes.. I'm... I'm fine w-with talking." He'd offer a trembling smile to go with his soft voice. The conversation goes much different than his worried, dark mind thought it would go, and a small look of confusion would cross his features. He actually just wants to... Talk?

"O-Oh um. Well..." Ibisprowl didn't really know Windygale, but he didn't want to lie to the tom either. So maybe he'd only give half of the truth and hope that the other cat wouldn't question him further on it?
"S-Stressed... And kind of lonely, but that's. Not really new for me. Other cats don't really talk to me." Ibisprowl would mumble the last sentence and glance around before letting out a quiet sigh. There was a long pause before he realized he needed to continue the conversation. "Y-You've been doing okay though, right?"