in her head. [ VA ]

[stag]

None of it real. None of it. All of the ghosts, all of them were not real. The memories falling apart as they came and went. The kit was pacing around the clearing, paws starting to ache as she mumbled uninterrupted and inaudibly, fur spiked as she did such.

Grey tail dragging behind her, paws kicking up clouds of dirt as the kitten began trying to search for the memories and through each action. No. That didn’t happen, no ghost actually spoke to her. It was a lie. Like everything and everyone was around her. Blue and yellow eyes frantically scanning the camp as she looked at each surface, desperately hoping to find something out of the norm. It would prove none of this was real, this was another dream. No! Those weren’t real either! Nothing could be trusted. Nobody but Sunny could be trusted!

The familiar question appears..was Sunny real or just another one of this spirits? No, she couldn’t be if the spirits weren’t real. None of it, all of her troubles, every step was something she made up. Tears spark a fire in her eyes, throat closing around the sobbing that turned into violence coughing as she tried to stop it.


Not Darkfall, not Lostspark, not even Sunny was real. None of this was reality! Howlingkit twists her body towards the place her mother took up residence. She couldn’t return there…she had blinded her. Not only by anger but her “mother” had actually blinded her. Voices rose up in the child.

No, she hadn’t been blind, a lie.

Can you even remember it?

….and the final statement was the nail in the coffin.

The star cats are not real. You are not worth of them.

Howlingkit didn’t even know if she was really shaking or not. The eldest Ark daughter tried to ground herself but where…if this reality didn’t exist then where was she. A dream? Was she some sick joke to the star cats. Was that dark starless tom playing tricks on her. Howlingkit lets a single laugh escape her maw as she crumble in on herself. Backing up until she reaches the wall of the camp.

She was following orders! She was doing what she thought was right! Lostspark was wrong on everything, Howlingkit wouldn’t end up like her. The kit refused to become her mother and or even grandmother. She would burn that legacy to the ground even if it meat she was burned along the way.

She would follow the starless. They served more of a purpose than any star cat had. He was wise. He had been useful. He was better than them.