teachings from beyond [herb training]

[silver.]

purrks: herbal knowledge tier 2, agatha kitty, just a scratch [PERM]
262/200

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What a peculiar thing... A task with no purpose other than aesthetic... Why, would she ever even have time for such a thing? Maybe busy work would keep her mind occupied on things other than her stress and fatigue, though, so she watches intently as the other's paws weave and press. It was difficult for her to understand work without purpose despite her intent staring. Work for the sole purpose of enjoyment. There was always so much to do-- did she even deserve to stop and weave together meaningless décor?

The crown that's placed atop her head feels... Heavy. Like it wasn't meant to settle there. She knows it's not-- but she doesn't have the heart to shake it from where it sits. Fawnlight was one of the few cats she felt like truly cared for her and the fear of ruining their relationship is too strong to just discard the hard work she had put in to both showing her her craft and presenting her with a gift. So the tortie nods with a small smile that quickly fades when Fawnlight opens her mouth once more. Was this what this was about? Her wellbeing?

A burden. That's what it was. Once young and naïve, desperate to prove herself, she can't help the bitterness she feels at irresponsible clan mates. Those that take her training and her hard work for granted. Those that whisper behind her back or spat in her face when things go wrong. Sure she had been hardened from the anxious mess she was moons ago but part of her misses it. Misses being the idiot that stumbled over her words and watched clan life from behind a pane of glass. Tansypaw studies her companions face in silence for what feels like an eternity. As if debating whether or not opening up was worth it to her. And in the end she decides... Maybe it wouldn't hurt. Besides, if there was anyone that could do her no harm in her stating her opinion it was the dead.

"It's not fair." She starts, jaw tensing uncomfortably with the verbal admission. "I work an' work an' learn an' learn and it just seems like no one cares. Seems like... I make a mistake or I'm not good enough to heal something right yet and someone wants to claw my eyes out. Why doesn't anyone see the good stuff I do? Or how hard I'm tryin'?"

( no worries ! )
fawnlight | @tallulah