foggy dreams and bone deep guilt [p]

[alec]

( / @Marigoldwhisper / )
minkpaw felt bad about responding marigoldkit like she had, too cool, not enough consideration. she was just a kit. she pressed marigoldkit a bit closer, holding the sniffling kit comfortingly. "i'll be safe, dont worry"
finally, minkpaw dipped their head to touch her nose to marigoldkits forehead before fading marigoldkit out of her dreamscape and returning her back into her own dreams. she briefly wondered how this would look for marigoldkit, as she herself had only experienced it once herself, mossfreckle and the dark damp stones had faded to back quickly, returning her to conciousness after another apprentice had stepped on her. perhaps marigoldkit would just experience minkpaws dreamscape fading into her own one, perhaps not.

________

(since the first dream, dated aprl23, has concluded, it is relevant to mention this following part takes place after minkpaw joined shc, approx 8 or so days after the first dream)


->> minkpaw <<-
[ she/they | shadowclan | 15moons ]
a dark blueish grey and white she cat with silver eyes

she was getting a bit better at actually sleeping, not letting the anxiety consumer her and awaking, gasping for air and fearing for her life, just. sleep. her foggy mindscape had not gotten any warmer, biting cold fog still invading her personal space though wrapping around her far less. she had promised marigoldkit to stay safe and she had tried, had met goldfish and absolutely messed up, but otherwise tried to lay low, keep away from riverclan border but not venture too far into the outskirts and survived her first encounter with lostspark, dawnstar and most of shadowclan. what she hadnt managed to do was shake the anxiety, both of tip toeing around the fact that mossfreckle knows her and just existing, surrounded by cats that most likely wanted to see her dead. however, she probably looked a bit better than last time, still tired and stressed, but more well kept, less debris and mud clinging to her fur. she just overall looked less like she just ran for her life, fell down a hill and had hidden in bushes and trees (that she had struggled to climb and decend) and then not slept for two days.
enough thinking about her turbulent week, she reached out to riverclan, fog snaking along the souls asleep in riverclan nursery, briefly pausing to check for goldfish and her kits, before lifting marigoldkit from her own dream to gently drag her into minkpaw own. rest the kit on pale grass and watch the fog curl around her small body before finally retracting to simply surround them..at a distance.
"marigoldkit" minkpaw called, gently nudging the kit with one of her front paws.
"marigoldkit i need you to listen carefully.. we might not be alone, dont question it, just dont share any secrets, nothing about riverclan, that stuff." she intructed, supressing a wince at the fact alone that she had to demand another favour of marigoldkit, but mainly praying to starclan and beyond that marigoldkit would get the hint and not mention mossfreckle or the very damning fact that she knows him. she didnt want to think about mossfreckles reaction if lostspark found out, didnt want to think about the possibility of lostspark killing them both or mossfreckle hating her forever for ruining his life.
"i think it'd be better if we both refrained from sharing anything clan related from now on, i dont want to spy on riverclan, this is purely us as friends, no clans, just us, okay?" her speech was awkward and conflicting, and she didnt want to completely back away from teaching marigoldkit but as long as lostspark listening in was a possibility she didnt want to risk it.
"how has your past uh.. quarter moon.. been?"



( the timeline with this is very complicated and potentially a bit wrong but i dont want to think about it , hopefully wco didnt eat any parts of this)

[Marigoldwhisper]

 

Originally Posted by alec

( / @Marigoldwhisper / )
minkpaw felt bad about responding marigoldkit like she had, too cool, not enough consideration. she was just a kit. she pressed marigoldkit a bit closer, holding the sniffling kit comfortingly. "i'll be safe, dont worry"
finally, minkpaw dipped their head to touch her nose to marigoldkits forehead before fading marigoldkit out of her dreamscape and returning her back into her own dreams. she briefly wondered how this would look for marigoldkit, as she herself had only experienced it once herself, mossfreckle and the dark damp stones had faded to back quickly, returning her to conciousness after another apprentice had stepped on her. perhaps marigoldkit would just experience minkpaws dreamscape fading into her own one, perhaps not.

________

(since the first dream, dated aprl23, has concluded, it is relevant to mention this following part takes place after minkpaw joined shc, approx 8 or so days after the first dream)


->> minkpaw <<-
[ she/they | shadowclan | 15moons ]
a dark blueish grey and white she cat with silver eyes

she was getting a bit better at actually sleeping, not letting the anxiety consumer her and awaking, gasping for air and fearing for her life, just. sleep. her foggy mindscape had not gotten any warmer, biting cold fog still invading her personal space though wrapping around her far less. she had promised marigoldkit to stay safe and she had tried, had met goldfish and absolutely messed up, but otherwise tried to lay low, keep away from riverclan border but not venture too far into the outskirts and survived her first encounter with lostspark, dawnstar and most of shadowclan. what she hadnt managed to do was shake the anxiety, both of tip toeing around the fact that mossfreckle knows her and just existing, surrounded by cats that most likely wanted to see her dead. however, she probably looked a bit better than last time, still tired and stressed, but more well kept, less debris and mud clinging to her fur. she just overall looked less like she just ran for her life, fell down a hill and had hidden in bushes and trees (that she had struggled to climb and decend) and then not slept for two days.
enough thinking about her turbulent week, she reached out to riverclan, fog snaking along the souls asleep in riverclan nursery, briefly pausing to check for goldfish and her kits, before lifting marigoldkit from her own dream to gently drag her into minkpaw own. rest the kit on pale grass and watch the fog curl around her small body before finally retracting to simply surround them..at a distance.
"marigoldkit" minkpaw called, gently nudging the kit with one of her front paws.
"marigoldkit i need you to listen carefully.. we might not be alone, dont question it, just dont share any secrets, nothing about riverclan, that stuff." she intructed, supressing a wince at the fact alone that she had to demand another favour of marigoldkit, but mainly praying to starclan and beyond that marigoldkit would get the hint and not mention mossfreckle or the very damning fact that she knows him. she didnt want to think about mossfreckles reaction if lostspark found out, didnt want to think about the possibility of lostspark killing them both or mossfreckle hating her forever for ruining his life.
"i think it'd be better if we both refrained from sharing anything clan related from now on, i dont want to spy on riverclan, this is purely us as friends, no clans, just us, okay?" her speech was awkward and conflicting, and she didnt want to completely back away from teaching marigoldkit but as long as lostspark listening in was a possibility she didnt want to risk it.
"how has your past uh.. quarter moon.. been?"



( the timeline with this is very complicated and potentially a bit wrong but i dont want to think about it , hopefully wco didnt eat any parts of this)

Marigoldkit
She, Her\Kit\6 moons/Riverclan
"Keep your head up! You need to look at the world around you!"
· · ─────── ·· ─────── ·

Marigoldkit hadn't expected things to end so quickly. She was still stirring with questions, but the promise of Minkpaw being safe was enough for her to sit still. She closed her eyes and felt the whole world turn and tumble from underneath her paws. She felt frozen in place, like she couldn't move even if she tried. After a horrible amount of darkness and spinning, Marigoldkit finally felt warmth and the milky scent of the nursery enveloping her in its greeting. She slept rather soundly that night...






*****





Cold.

Stars darn it she was cold.

Her whiskers twitched as she was suddenly ripped from a dream of her own, one swirling with colors and fruits that looked a bit too big. She had been thinking about herbs in her sleep (mostly because she spent most days in the nursery just thinking about them, trying to memorize every minute detail) and it was quite a shock when the colors suddenly faded and all she was left with was cold.

It had been an uneventful quarter moon, but that didn't mean it was bad. Honestly, Marigoldkit thought it was better that way. Though, she has heard that some rats had been spotted somewhere in territory and that made her fur bristle. Well, I guess she couldn't live a life without some bad things happening.

For a good while all she felt was cold and all she could hear was silence and no longer the steady lap of the river nearby.

She wrenched her eyelids open just a familiar voice greeted her. She turned her head to face the cat who loomed over her. Oh. Oh! That was Minkpaw, wasn't it!

A smile split onto her face. She was glad, very glad that she had actually been visited. She was also glad that Minkpaw actually looked better this time. The apprentice looked tired, but that was something she'd grown to expect. It was night after all, a normal cat would usually be sleeping. Plus, if she was here, that meant that nothing bad had happened to her when joining Shadowclan, that all her fur was intact, that---

"...I need you to listen carefully... We might not be alone."

The warmth that radiated from her white pelt vanished instantly, and suddenly she realized how cold she really was. Hazel eyes scanned the pale grass and peered through the thick and still present fog. Chills crawled up and down her spine. Anycat could be in there, hiding there fur in the thick cold. She glanced at Minkpaw once more. Marigoldkit expected the fog to be gone the next time she saw her, but it wasn't. Minkpaw still wasn't alright. Why wasn't she alright?

"Yeah," Marigoldkit answered with a shaky nod of her head. She stood to her paws and walked in a circle, kind of like awkward pacing. The dreamscape had a new level of creepiness to it now that the threat of an intruder lingered fresh in her mind. "Okay."

It was kind of unsettling to hear Minkpaw try and jump back to a casual conversation despite the danger of the situation. Marigoldkit didn't really care that much though, she would've jumped on the opportunity to just talk like normal cats any day. She listened as Minkpaw's words tumbled out like uneven spikes of sound. She could tell her friend was really trying to sound normal, even if it was all in horrible vain.

"It's been great." She smiled, a hopeful glint present in her eyes. She swatted at some swirling fog before continuing. "This tom, Jayfrost, gave me a few feathers---" she kneeled down and pined her ears back, wondering if the feathers looked sad or dull in this kind of lighting. Hopefully not, they were truly beautiful. "I didn't even ask for them, but he wanted to give me them anyways. How sweet is that? Oh oh! And he invited me to go get more with him, once his leg is better. And uh, he has this friend named Goldfish, she's expecting kits." A smiled was present in her voice as she rambled on.

That was vague enough, right? Nothing really about Riverclan as a clan, more like individual "unimportant" cats. She lifted her head back up. "He said that you helped him... With his leg. Good job by the way."

"Oh, and I can run now! See? See?" Marigoldkit broke out into a sloppy little gallop, her paws faltering every step or so. It felt great it her, so freeing. "I'm getting better," she walked back up to Minkpaw, her chest heaving with the effort of catching her breath. "Just like I said I would, just like you."

(No worries dude! The timeline makes sense to me lol.)