The golden brown-furred female looked at the tomcat that laid in the hollow stump with her for a moment in silence, thinking for awhile about many unknown things. He looked rather comfortable and content being here with her, not looking bored or irritated or annoyed or just tired of hearing the warrior ramble on about her past. She would look down and see how their pelts touched, keeping each other warm in the cold harshness of nature. Autumnleaf could not recall the last time someone had been with her, like this, willing to hear her story and being so kindhearted. It made her smile down at her paws for a few seconds before she lifted her gaze to look back out at the dense forest that was laid out before them. The rain was almost completely gone by now, hardly there except for the darkened clouds. She remembered when cats used to make fun of her because of the warrior’s strange interests. No cat was supposed to love the rain, the thunder and lightning - it was abnormal and morbid, as others had reminded her now and then. There were times when she wished that she could just change completely overnight, become a new cat with a brand-new personality. She wished that others wouldn’t see her as this lost cause, the mere thought made her claws sink into the loose dirt for a moment as she shut her eyes. She was not useless. She was not hopeless. She was not some worthless bag of bones. Her eyes flickered open as she solemnly shook her head - what was the point in even trying to persuade herself that the words they said weren’t true? The small shecat glanced at Stonestream once again. Perhaps this tomcat had faith in her and did not see her like most others did. Maybe he was truly different compared to the others. Autumnleaf gave a small, almost unnoticeable huff of amusement towards her own thoughts. What a ridiculous thought process she was having right now. The warrior looked at the grey-furred male as he mentioned his own opinion of the clan of the stars, making her look up at the trees and the branches that hung above them. “I bet my brothers are poking fun at me from the stars right now.” She murmured with a slight chuckle, “Whitemist is probably scolding them about it too, shooing them away.” The thought of her family made her smile, having the image of them keeping an eye on her from Starclan with proud smiles, knowing that their little Autumnkit had made it this far in life and despite her hardships - she was far from quitting on them. Autumnleaf listened once more to this older warrior’s words, her ears twitching slightly as she looked out at the forest with an intent, observant gaze. “You don’t sound selfish to me.” The shecat mentioned, her tone soft as she turned to look at him, “When I think of selfish cats, you are far from one that comes to mind - don’t worry about that.” Autumnleaf had not known affectionate or kindness such as this in over ten moons of her life, this was far from selfish to her.

It had always made Autumnleaf slightly uncomfortable when talking about Lightningclaw and how he shaped her childhood, mostly because she didn’t understand how most of it clicked together. She could tell how Stonestream was somewhat confused at certain points, wondering why she and that tomcat weren’t seen more as siblings. The golden brown-furred warrior could not answer the questions that he wanted to ask because even she didn’t know the answers. He was her first love and there were so many times where she wanted to just scream out to the stars to erase him from her past. She didn’t want him to be her first love, she didn’t want him to be the one who has made up basically her entire youth. It made the shecat place one of her paws on her face to try and silently calm herself from breaking down again. The bobtail swore to herself that she would not let Stonestream see her breakdown - no, he had already seen enough of the cracks and weakness inside of her. Throughout her whole life, no cat had ever been there for her when she cried, nobody had ever pulled her close and let her cry into their shoulder. Throughout her 45 moons of life, Autumnleaf never had someone like that and that made her forbid to cry in front of others, knowing that they would just think about how miserable she looks and how they would wish pity upon that skinny thing that was Autumnleaf of Thunderclan. She broke away from her haunting thoughts when Stonestream spoke once again, making her look at the tomcat beside her with shining emerald-hued eyes. “I was a completely different cat back in my apprentice moons, believe it or not.” Autumnleaf said with a slight chuckle, not looking at him now when she said this, “If you put my 45 moon self beside my 6 moon old self - you would think you were looking at two different cats.” Back then, she had been determined, happy, adventurous and carefree to take on life with a smile. Oh, how the times changed though. Autumnleaf would never be the cat that she once was so long ago and the thought itself made a tear brim in the corner of her eye, but she quickly wiped it away nonchalantly like she was smoothing some ruffled fur on her head so that Stonestream wouldn’t notice. “It certainly was something that all the cats of Thunderclan admired back then. We were pretty well known among the clan as that one inseparable duo.” She said with a smile at the older male, “It was like one of those cliche stories, you know?” She shook her head to clear her thought process and start anew. There were times when the golden brown-furred warrior would grow silent for minutes on end, unsure of what to say or how to continue, but that was one of the catches when you talk to this female.

“Same here, same here.” She said with a little chuckle once again, replying to the male’s words, “I’m surprised that you’ve made it this far in the story. I’ll try to not talk you to death.” The grin that Stonestream wore on his maw made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, which was something that surprised her truly, thinking that she wouldn’t be able to feel this way again - the feeling of happiness and other emotions that she forgot the names of. He was quite the listener, this tomcat was eager and curious to listen to her tale. When Autumnleaf explained the incident in the training cave that day, she heard the tomcat speak, his tone thick with sorrow and heavy with emotion. It was something that she appreciated. “I probably still have a scar under my fur from the accident.” Autumnleaf mentioned, feeling her neck with a gentle paw for a moment, but unable to find anything truly noticeable, “Moving on with the story though, heh.” The warrior paused for a moment to recall the events that followed that dreaded day. “He didn’t mean to hurt me. He really did not mean to. Lightningclaw was just so into the fight, as I was, but just one small mistake turned into a big turning point in my life.” She remarked, looking down at the ground as she spoke, “As our mentors went to me, in shock to what had happened, Lightningpaw stood there, completely frozen in terror that he had hurt me. He called himself a monster.” The warrior kept back a laugh at that and chose to keep civil when talking about this, “He turned and ran, ran from the training cave and fled into the forest - disgusted with himself and his actions. I, despite my injuries reached out with a paw, the words refusing to come out as I struggled to call out to my dear friend. All the words that the two warriors had said to me were nothing but buzz in the background as I weakly stood up, blood dripping from my wound as I used the strength that I had left. I ran, weakly, after him as fast as I could. Limping and gasping from my wound, even though cats told me to stop, but no, I refused to lose him this way. I blamed myself back then for the accident.” She looked at the tomcat for a moment to silently make it known that her opinion on the matter had changed since then before Autumnleaf continued, “As I followed him, it began to rain. The skies had shown that it would earlier that day, so it was nothing out of the ordinary. If anything, it held me back, the water dragging my fur down and making everything more and more a struggle. I finally caught up to him when he halted to catch his breath and I don’t remember what was said exactly, but I remember him backing away from me, getting ready to climb a tree to escape and just avoid me, scared of hurting me again.” There was another long pause before she spoke again, her tail twitching behind her as she did so, “Then.. A bright flash.” Her tone was quiet, almost to emphasize the mood of the tale, “The world went white for a second. A lightning bolt came down from the sky and struck a tree,” A small smile came to Autumn’s face, but she did not look at Stonestream, “The tree lit up, scorched black and red with young Lightningpaw still against it. His body fell into the grass in a limp mess, his fur slightly burned and lightened smoke rising from his body. I remember collapsing several pawsteps away from him, believing my best friend to be dead right before my eyes.”

The small shecat uttered a softened chuckle at her companion’s words, looking to him with a light smile for a moment. “I couldn’t agree more about that.” She mentioned, her bobtail flicking behind her ever so gently, “We all have some long term goals that we have our hearts set on before we join our ancestors, don’t we?” Stonestream’s gaze was always so comforting with a certain warm glow in his gaze, which made the female feel safe and comfortable. She could tell that he was actually listening to her stories without looking bored or annoyed in any certain sense, like some cats did when she would occasionally ramble. In order to stay on track and not lose anymore time, Autumnleaf shifted back to telling her story about how she was the way she was - it was a strange way to put it, but it seemed appropriate. The brown-furred warrior could see the tomcat lean slightly closer to her when she was feeling around for the scar that she most likely had from the past incident, making a light smile appear on her maw. “You sure are a curious one.” She murmured, her tone low, almost like she was talking to herself at this time, “I’m sure there is something there, but faded away from the many moons that it has seen.” Autumnleaf could see how interested and invested into the story he was when she went on to telling more of it, which made it certain that he was the right cat to talk to about such things right now. Perhaps, like she stated in the past, it would give her some closure and help her move on from the demons that haunted her memories. At his mention of her being fearless, the warrior looked down at her paws with a soft smile as she shook her head while giving a quiet laugh in the process. “I was in love.” Autumnleaf simply said, giving the tomcat a better definition towards her actions back then, “So in love that I had no sense of danger or common sense whatsoever - I’m sure that’s what comes with being in love with someone at such a young age though, I suppose.” Throughout her life, the female had learned that love made you do crazy things and made others see a different side of you while it happened. She knew, deep down, that the mistakes and regrets of her past would not go away with a simple swipe of her paw nor with venting her story to a newfound friend - acceptance and forgiveness, towards herself, seemed to be the best bet, but even now, she could not bring herself to do so. The shecat did bring her gaze to look at him though when he mentioned that her words made it seem like Lightningclaw was some sort of hero. “To some cats, after the day, he was a hero.” She muttered under her breath, her smile faltering ever so slightly when that was said. Autumnleaf knew that now it was time to tell someone the truth of what happened on that day. “Back in the apprentice moons, I was forbidden to tell anyone about what actually happened. Northpaw had said it was for the best.” She said, lost in thought for a moment, thinking back to her youthful days now.

Northpaw was the medicine cat apprentice back when she was still being trained to become a warrior, which made her think - what had happened to them? It didn’t matter though, not anymore. “I suppose the truth can be told now though, since it has been so long and Lightningclaw is no longer with Thunderclan anyways.” She said with a sigh leaving her before continuing on with the story, “After a few minutes of me laying there with his limp body, our mentors had finally found us, seeing the state of Lightningpaw and me grieving over him. I thought I had just lost my closest friend, can you truly blame me? Heh.” Autumnleaf shifted her stance, feeling her paws becoming numb slightly from sitting on them for too long, “I remember his mentor picking him up and we proceeded to head back to camp, prepared to tell everyone of his death.” She paused ever so slightly for effect. “However, right before he got to camp, he awoke from the dead, quite literally and it had shocked us all to the core. I mean, how could he be alive after that? Struck by lightning and a cat being able to live another day, it was unheard. Nonetheless, I was thrilled and so was our mentors. He, and I, were both taken back to the medicine den to be immediately treated by Zerosight and Northpaw, the medicine cats of that time - if you remember.” She stopped there for awhile, taking a few seconds to rest her voice. All this talking was making her rather tired and right now, a good nap sounded like the greatest treat to go back to once they would go back to the Thunderclan camp. “I don’t really remember what all happened after that, to be honest with you, some details are fuzzy from those times, but apparently the medicine cats saw something in Lightningpaw. He was apart of a plan from Starclan, given great powers that could strike down any enemy, quite literally.” She remembered that she had been dragged into the whole mess with the prophecy and all that because she was close to Lightningpaw and saw the whole event take place. “You don’t have to believe me if you want, I know it is something rather absurd to think about. We were not supposed to tell our mentors or any of our friends about his powers, not until the time was right. I respected this, of course, and gave Lightningpaw was full support. Unfortunately though, those powers changed him. He was never the same after that day.” She said this with a certain emotion in her tone that seemed to come off as unreadable, with a certain strained pain. Her whole life would never be the same after that fateful day with the storm. “Once we had been treated probably and such else, we went back to our normal lives as apprentices of Thunderclan, but nothing seemed to be truly normal. Lightningpaw would distance himself from me, claiming he would need time to train with his newfound powers. He said that I couldn’t help him either, that I would hold him back. I didn’t see him much because he was often training alone in the woods.” Autumnleaf mentioned, looking out in the dense forest, “I was left alone without my only friend. I felt worthless.. It was like I couldn’t do anything right after that.”

It took a moment with her stretching out her paws and giving a widened yawn before she was able to continue her tale. “Once I was on my own, it seemed like it was my time to step up and take my own life by the horns and focus on myself for awhile. While Lightningpaw was away, training on his own or with his mentor, I was training myself to become a grand warrior that would make all of Thunderclan proud someday. I would hunt, fight, track and even give the elders and queens fresh moss. I did whatever I could to become a good cat in the eyes of my own clanmates and be someone that would make my mother, brothers and even Lightningpaw proud.” She did not remember some things, but Autumn did remember training hard back then with hardly any breaks or rest to make new friends. She put all her time and effort into proving herself worthy of being by Lightningpaw’s side and Thunderclan alike. It had been a rough few moons for her, straining to catch the attention of her best friend while all of this. “About a moon before I became a warrior, Lightningpaw had promised me that when we became full warriors with new names that we would become mates.” The warrior mentioned, “He told me that I wouldn’t have to worry about training so hard because I would be in the nursery soon enough afterwards. In hindsight, I should’ve taken that as a bad thing, but I was young and often fantasized about having kittens with him.” Deep down, the brown-furred shecat truly thought about how others saw there. Was she really a pathetic cat that would do anything to catch the attention of another? Part of her wished that she could’ve warned her younger self of the stress and pain that she would go through if she continued down her path with him. Maybe it was destiny though - she was not sure. “Then that day came, where we were both named Autumnleaf and Lightningclaw, true and official warriors of Thunderclan from this day forth. It was a proud day for me, I remember seeing my adopted parents there and even my own friend Flintheart there in the crowd. I suppose that’s another cliche though, right? To all apprentices, the best day of their lives are their warrior ceremony.” The shecat was beginning to get awfully tired and she hoped Stonestream would not notice that occasionally nod of her head. It had been so long since she had slept peacefully and it all seemed to be catching up with her now. She did continue her story, despite this, keeping to her promise of not taking forever to tell it. “Soon afterwards, a couple moons later, I found myself heavy with his kittens, which isn’t really that surprising. They were born on a warm greenleaf day - Redkit, Adderkit, Sparkkit, Sparrowkit and Stormkit. My two sons and three daughters. I remember the day so well..” She went silent after that, looking off into the distance with a pensive gaze, seeming to go back in time when things weren’t seeming so hectic and awful as they once did, before it all went downhill.