Was it a bad time to send Beanpaw out? The apprentice had most of the day to get himself sorted, but Sassafrasfire still wondered for a little while if it was truly the right time. They'd sat down to wash after sending Beanpaw off, and after smoothing their whiskers back a bit, the feline set off to follow his trail. The river was his first stop, presumably to get the hardest part out of the way first. Sassafrasfire didn't mind sitting in the brush a ways away. They observed Beanpaw in silence, sapphire eyes dull. He was lousy at fishing. But he was giving it his everything, and after realizing that Beanpaw had no claws to work with, the warrior could give him due respect for the effort. And, after what felt like forever, they watched him bury his two fish. Sassafrasfire gave an approving nod and moved off to skulk along after him further to watch his land-prey hunting commence- But that was no disappointment.

They followed the younger cat tactfully, albeit a little bit bored. Their mind began to wander- Something it seemed to often as of late. Watching Beanpaw fish was boring as hell, but they could sense Petuniapaw sitting there just beside this eager apprentice, having the same fun they'd seen Beanpaw have. She might have fallen in, or even jumped in. She would have jumped in for sure, they decided almost instantly after their initial thought. The kid never thought a whole lot before she acted. At least this one was good at that. The feline slowed and then hid, their eyes tracing Beanpaw's shoulders as he stalked the mouse. A simple kill, but a well-appreciated addition to the fresh kill pile once they returned. They could picture her there as well, proudly puffing out her fur and announcing victory. Their perception of their former apprentice might have been far off from the real thing, but what would they have known?

After properly seeing through Beanpaw's hunting expedition, the warrior slackened on his trail. Instead, they tried to keep him within earshot while padding along leisurely. Now, they allowed themselves some peace as they began the walk to their own destination. Beanpaw would find them easily- He could probably get the idea that he'd been followed just by retracing his steps back a little bit. Then again, this was Beanpaw they were thinking of. And everything he did seemed to whisper a trace of Petuniapaw. So, Sassafrasfire decided that they wouldn't even begin to imagine what in the world the tom would do. His unpredictability was charming.

It had been painful to see him, to speak to him even just once. Sassafrasfire couldn't fathom the feeling in their heart as they prowled towards the Sleepy Thicket alone. Beanpaw was their duty to RiverClan, he was their redemption. And it wasn't fair that they'd kept their distance. It wasn't fair of them to let her haunt every pawstep he made when they were near him. Beanpaw's apprenticeship lacked what they had desperately wanted to give somebody else. Thinking about it, the warrior settles within the thicket and gazes up at the winterberries that flourished. They owed him an apology, they decide. For everything they never did together. For everything they wished they had done. But that was why Sassafrasfire had sent him out to collect those things, the treasures. Deep blue eyes suddenly glitter with something unnamed in their heart and they inhale sharply, the tightening in their chest suddenly gripping their throat, too. Saying "I'm so sorry", saying "Goodbye"-

Expressions Sassafrasfire had never made before, never named before: Grief, sorrow, regret, loss... Things they've never brought to light choke them now. They never had precious things, they never knew what attachment was before Petuniapaw. They never knew until they lacked the first treasure they'd ever cherished. They swept away the emptiness by leaving Beanpaw alone. They wouldn't lose any more if they never reached out at all- Beanpaw wouldn't disappear if Sassafrasfire didn't get close to him. And here they were.

And here they were. Sassafrasfire bows their head, letting out a long hiss of air they'd been holding in for too long without realizing. And they have about ten seconds of solitude from that moment to the moment Beanpaw careens into their shoulders. In an instant, the darkness that was nibbling at the warrior's paws is washed away, and the wind is knocked out of them all over again. Beanpaw's objective was probably too successful- But his shriek of alarm wasn't early enough to properly warn the cat. Sassafrasfire is sent forward with the smack in their back, and unfortunately their face made a charming acquaintance with the frosty dirt in front of them. The feline grunts, tasting blood and rolling to the left to try and get Beanpaw off of them.

It was their fault they hadn't noticed the tom's approach. But as they collect themselves, they shoot a look at him. "Good...." Pausing, Sassafrasfire's brows knit together and they spit out some bloodied dirt. "Good job."
[ @elysian ]

Their whiskers quiver for a heartbeat and they wrinkle their nose. "I'm fine," they meow quietly. Their tone was softer than usual. Though still flat, it sounded warmer somehow.

Sassafrasfire wished that he'd kept going with the surprise attack. He wasn't sure how much that one little jumpscare counted for- But maybe it didn't matter as much as they were thinking it did. They resign themselves from the matter and rearrange their body to be more comfortable. Sitting and watching Beanpaw, they make note of what he'd brought for them.

The warrior blinks as their apprentice brings up their prior mentor and apprentice, looking at the shell that the young tom seemed so happy with. He found it for Sassafrasfire.

For a moment, they don't know what to say. Their eyes travel around the thicket and they remain quiet, poised as though they were ready to speak at any moment while nothing was said. And then their gaze returns to Beanpaw. They extend a paw and take the flower from his possession. Then, they pull the cardinal feather over to sit beside it. And then, they reach out for the shell and scoop it up with startling care. Instead of placing it beside the other treasures, Sassafrasfire regards it quietly for another moment.

"There's already so much that can happen that is outside of our control," they say slowly. "I thought it was better not to try and get close to you. I never should have left you to sit there on your own." Expressing their regret now didn't do a whole lot. They understood that. But maybe Beanpaw could accept what they were getting at.

Lowering the shell to sit beside the other things, they meet Beanpaw's eyes. "Thank you. You've done well today. Your hunting is passable, and you brought me interesting things that hold some significance to you-" and me. "You certainly caught me off-guard, but I think next time you should probably continue your surprise attack... What do you think, Beanpaw? What should I tell Sootstar?" They watch him curiously, wondering what he'd say to this odd question.
[ @elysian ]