His weak attempt of a joke didn't even muster so much as a pity chuckle from his friend, making him sigh quietly. I've fallen so far that I can't even seem to joke with a friend. The thought was quickly followed by him trying to focus on Rabbitfluff's question, one that confused him slightly. Why would he think I had anyone in mind? Especially if I look like this. Blinking, he would glance at his paws for a good long moment before deciding on the answer he wanted to give. He would try at his light-hearted nature again, hoping desperately to connect with his friend despite the turmoil he felt inside. "Not particularly. I suppose you wouldn't mind being the one to share it with me?" Still it sounded too formal, too tense, far from the relaxed and easy flow it should have.

Of course his emotions spilled over the edge a little, more than he wanted, and he could read the surprise evident on his friends form. And how he hated it. It was like he was a completely different cat, even Rabbitfluff wasn't prepared for what he would do or say. Guilt gnawed viciously at his stomach and it made his breath catch in his throat. He didn't want to be this cat. He didn't want to become violent and unpredictable, he didn't want to become untrustworthy and unfit to lead. He wanted to make Skyclan proud but everything was so messed up it felt, at least in his mind. It shouldn't have effected him so much and yet it was still effecting him now; would it continue to effect him and change him and make him into something he didn't want to be? He didn't know anymore. Naturally his anger subsided and was then replaced with more guilt for letting it bubble over. It almost nauseated him how quickly the guilt came back, it was as if the anger and the guilt were battling for control, there was no room for other emotions. It was exhausting.

However, despite his conflicting and frustrating emotions, he was still met with surprise when Rabbitfluff didn't seem to mind it at all. He wasn't judging him for it, in fact, he brushed it off as if they were.. Just holding a pleasant conversation. The warrior didn't hold it against him for letting his stronger emotions show their colors. It's what a good friend would do.
Blinking, Grousestar wouldn't move when the smaller tom settled in beside him to begin grooming his unkempt pelt. "Rabbitfluff you.. You don't need to do that..." The words were mumbled and really it was only the vaguest form of protest, the leader wasn't totally against it. Should I feel ashamed that my own friend has to bathe me?
Closing his eyes, the Skyclan leader would sigh. "I don't know how to deal with this, any of it. Ever since.. Ever since I found out that Auroraflame could so easily betray me, and that she thought it was the right thing to do I.. I've felt so alone. So incredibly alone in a clan who doesn't feel the need to follow my orders, even though that's what they swore before Starclan they would do. Is it the other clans that are making Skyclan like this? Is it me?"