Re: Sleepy Thicket
 

The sweet relief that suffused Flickerpaw when Birdpaw arrived at the dismal scene… it flowed through the sooty apprentice's veins like freshly brewed tea, like sunlight rippling over water, pure bright warmth that had Flicker's tense muscles melting into liquid. The kid's rigid bristling shoulders visibly slacked; their tight-closed expression opened up, a sunflower spreading its petals to the sunlight, and tiny paws tip-toed away to allow this living embodiment of comfort to pour into the space that Flicker left behind. Thank goodness… if anyone had words capable of soothing the agony radiating from Lilyheart’s family, it was a girl who’d literally died.

But before Birdpaw could speak, Reedwhisker lashed out.

The warrior's anger hit Flickerpaw like a slap. A situation that doesn’t concern me…? Didn’t any death in RiverClan concern Flicker? The young apprentice stiffened reflexively, whiskers going back and posture snapping taut as a wire. She wasn’t trying to rush anything—they only wanted to lift the weight of decision off of those poor shoulders! To HELP! A retort sprang behind their fangs—automatic, defensive—but with a brittle exhale, Flicker swallowed the words that buzzed on her tongue and buried them under their ribs. She was used to this: she expected claws instead of gentle touches, harsh words rather than gratitude, irritation and rejection when she had tried to inspire companionship. The coal-and-flame fighter knew better than to anticipate anything she did to be met with enthusiastic acceptance. Anything else came as a pleasant, impossible surprise.

(Maybe, in her heart of hearts, that was why she sought so hard to keep her identity as flower-girl secret. Maybe Flickerpaw feared the backlash of her peers successfully linking her to what she'd done—and that her act of kindness would be twisted into something unwelcome and wrong.)

(Maybe Flickerpaw wasn't meant for softness. And that was okay.)

If Flickerpaw could help Lilyheart's family by being their punching bag, absorbing their furious pain without complaint, perhaps that was best. After all: nobody had acclimated to such treatment as well as Flicker. They were granite-tough. BUILT to withstand absolutely anything. This could be their role in this moment! Who else was equipped to field all of that overwhelming grief, that helpless unfair rage, than them? She'd never be a shoulder to cry on… but this would have to be good enough.

And then Reedwhisker had to go and retract her aggression.

“Oh… No worries, Reedwhisker. Doesn’t bother me,” the young apprentice mumbled, suddenly unable to meet the warrior’s eyes. Reedwhisker’s abrupt swerve from wrathful to apologetic made Flicker blink, taken aback—yet she valiantly attempted to recover, clearing their throat and facing the torn family head-on. “If you guys gotta lash out, then lash out. You’re allowed to feel stuff. Even anger. So… so if you feel frustrated, you can yell at me, or scream at me, or shove me or whatever. I don’t care. It’s fine.”

Flicker’s voice faded into a rumbled mutter, curling into silence as Birdpaw added her own wise reassurance to the conversation. Each feathery syllable from the girl’s maw blanketed the mourning party in empathy—Fawnpaw included. A genuine half-smile tipped one corner of Flickerpaw’s mouth unconsciously, filled with wonder by how effortlessly the other apprentice extended sympathy toward Lilyheart’s kin… but at the benevolent beam Birdpaw sent her way, the rust-dusted apprentice’s expression froze. Wh…what? Birdie needed to warn people when she was going to make an adorable face like that! Unfair! Flickerpaw was concentrating on being STRONG and DEPENDABLE, they did not need their almost-sorta-friend casting them a look as though Birdpaw had witnessed something truly good in Flicker’s soul!

Now the inkblot did purposefully avert her gaze, drawing circles in the dirt with a forepaw while they waited for Shimmerstream and ReedwhisTherker and Silverpaw to make their decision. She latched onto Fawnpaw’s courteous suggestion for themself and Bird to gather flowers for the gravesite like a lifeline.

“Flowers—yeah, sure! I can do that! Did Lilyheart have any favorites? Any particular flowers she’d like?” Flickerpaw stared at the small crowd with intense ivory-green eyes, tail fluffed into a ginger-sprinkled bush. “We could grab other things that were important to Lilyheart… did she have, like, a special stone or shell or somethin’? Whatever you need, we’ll find it. Right, Birdpaw?”

She nodded, determined, at her fellow apprentice. There was no fixing this tragedy… they could, however, offer their fallen clanmate a beautiful memorial.

Re: Sleepy Thicket
 

@Orion @jupiter @birdie @cloudivity

Reedwhisker felt hot. Not with anger... not with embarrassment for lashing out at Flickerpaw. She felt sorrow. And this was the second time she messed up during a burial. What was going on with her? She made Fawnpaw uncomfortable during Skystar's burial, unintentionally of course. But now she made Flickerpaw uncomfortable. Maybe it was the fact that Reedwhisker hasn't felt grief or sadness often enough in her life? Whatever it was, it was upsetting Reedwhisker. She's a warrior. She's supposed to be there for her Clanmates, no matter how old (or young) they were.

"No, Flickerpaw... I was in the wrong, I won't do it again," she murmured apologetically. "I won't do anything of the sort to you." With a sigh, Reedwhisker laid down, paying her final respects to her mother. Goodbye, Lilyheart... I'll see you again when I get into StarClan myself... and you can show me everything you love about our ancestors and their territory. May you rest peacefully...

Re: Sleepy Thicket
 

Silverpaw felt anger at what her sister had said to her denmate. She appreciated Flickerpaws attempts to help. She glared at Reedwhisker and narrowed her eyes. Was this the anger part of grief? With tail lashing, she stood and turned towards her black/ginger denmate.

"I'm sorry for my sisters behavior, Flickerpaw. None of us will act like that." What was wrong with Reedwhisker?! They just lost their mother, but that was no reason to be rude to others! Silverpaw took her part of Lilyhearts body. "She didn't have any special object. Her favourite flowers were, ironically, lilies." She felt tears well up again, threatening to spill out her dull amber eyes. "Let's go, Reedwhisker. I want to put her to rest now."

{ @Orion @jupiter @birdie @SpiritedWarrior }

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For @jupiter
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Softecho closed his eyes and counted to ten. Birdpaw was an apprentice, training to become a warrior. In other words, she was still learning. Just this once, Softecho would let her off the hook. “Alright, Birdpaw. I get it, It’s ok to not want to kill something live, that’s normal. But you’ll have to learn to kill eventually. It’s something you’re mentor should be teaching you.” Softecho briefly touched her tail-tip to Birdpaw’s shoulder, then started to walk away. “I’m going to go do one more hunt. Wait here.” Softecho sniffed the air, then started to walk over the river, thinking that there might be some water voles lurking around. She just couldn’t believe Birdpaw hadn’t killed the mouse. How could Birdpaw become a warrior if she never killed any prey? Softecho caught scent of the water voles. Two of them, Softecho guessed. Going into a crouch, Softecho went toward the voles. Creeping slowly, Softecho pounced on the first vole, killing it quickly, then leaped at the second one, landing on it’s tail. The vole let out a shrill shriek, before Softecho but down on its spine. Softecho collected the voles and went back to Birdpaw. “Here, take these back to camp. I’m going to go get the squirrel.” Softecho left and went to the buried squirrel, digging it back up. She scooped it into her mouth and then headed on back to camp.

Re: Sleepy Thicket
 

Reedwhisker’s apology struck Flickerpaw just as unexpectedly as her anger—and that was a problem, because Flicker was much better equipped at handling rejection than they were at handling… well, this. Emotions were messy, vulnerable, painful. Allowing Reedwhisker to unleash the anguish surely breaking her into pieces would’ve been easy for Flickerpaw, a simple step into a familiar role, but comfort? Forgiveness? Anger, she could fight. Resentment, she could devour for breakfast. Sadness required velvet gloves and silken words, neither of which Flickerpaw possessed. This warrior had just tragically lost a loved one. Aw, jeez… Flicker was gonna mess this up spectacularly.

With a stiff foreleg, the tiny apprentice reached out to bap Reedwhisker gently on the brow: the best they could do for a reassuring there, there gesture. “Uh, what Fawnpaw said. I… I really am sorry about Lilyheart. You’re a great warrior. I’m sure you made her proud.” Yeah—that sounded adjacent to something wise and soothing that Fawn or Birdie would say. “Tell me if you need somethin’. I mean it. You and your family have enough on your paws.”

One more soft pat with her pink toe beans, and then Flicker respectfully stepped back so that Reedwhisker had room to bow before her mother’s grave. At Silverpaw’s sudden ire—on Flickerpaw’s behalf!—the sooty apprentice shot the girl an expression of muted panic, quickly shaking their head back and forth. “It’s cool, Silverpaw… I don’t take it personal. Sometimes people just have to let stuff out, yeah?” A smile that felt too tight awkwardly stretched their muzzle. Yep: Flicker definitely preferred getting shouted at over this… this fussing on their behalf. It felt WEIRD. Backward, even.

Fawnpaw’s additional declaration that no abuse of any kind would be take place forced the tiny apprentice into an embarrassed hunch; disappointing the medicine cat, oops. A sheepish glance toward the soft brown girl was the best that Flicker could offer while their tongue was tied in a twist. She nodded, once, tail-tip drawing aimless swirls in the dust. When Silver mentioned her late mother’s favorite flower, Flickerpaw fell upon the information with ravenous abandon, glad to swerve away from such sticky strangeness.

“We’ll find you the best lilies in the territory, just as Lilyheart deserves” the onyx apprentice promised, tilting their head at Birdpaw’s comment about the lovely match between Lilyheart’s title and her chosen bloom. “All kinds ‘a colors, make Lilyheart’s resting place nice and… peaceful.” Flicker’s voice left her in a choked peep at the weight of Birdpaw’s chin resting on her back. They dare not move. Not a flinch. Not a ripple of their withers. Utter stillness, to give Birdie all the time she needed to rest and breathe and compose herself.

The decorating of graves with beautiful things would become standard in RiverClan—Flickerpaw would make sure of that, along with Birdpaw and whomever else volunteered to give their time. No more would cats be left, forgotten, in the dirt after their passing… there would be no chance of any resting place fading bereft and lonesome. Anyone who walked by the Sleepy Thicket would breathe the perfume of all that love and devotion, blended into the natural atmosphere.

“Let’s go, Birdpaw,” Flickerpaw suggested (a tad too loudly), whipping her banner into the air like a flag. They bumped the ragdoll amicably with her shoulder, trying their best to paint a realistic grin on her face, and began to pad along the direction of the riverbank. The pair of them would meet the mourning party later, with a lovely bouquet in tow.

Re: Sleepy Thicket
 

For @jupiter
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Reedwhisker managed to smile softly as Birdpaw complimented her dead mother. Lilyheart was a kind, hardworking warrior who cared for her Clanmates, just as Reedwhisker did. The name did fit the she-cat perfectly. Flowers or rocks for the grave? Flowers... they fit the situation better. I doubt Lilyheart would want to be sent to StarClan with a rock. But at the same time, any contribution to Lilyheart for her service to RiverClan would do just fine.

"Flowers and little pebbles sound like they'd go wonderfully with Lilyheart," she told Birdpaw with a small flick of her ear. "I'm sure she would appreciate any gift that we offer."

For @cloudy sky
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Reedwhisker's heart stung. She felt ashamed for lashing out at an apprentice, but all she wanted was for Lilyheart to rest peacefully. Flickerpaw was kind, so Reedwhisker had to force herself to hold back all the anger she was feeling. Really, she wasn't angry at Flickerpaw. She was angry at StarClan for taking Lilyheart away so soon. I mean, what did Lilyheart do to deserve this? Absolutely NOTHING!

Nodding toward her younger sister in agreement, Reedwhisker got up and grabbed part of her mother's body, beginning to drag it toward the Sleepy Thicket. It was time to lay Lilyheart to rest.

For @birdie
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Looking to Fawnpaw, she dipped her head in respect and acknowledgment of her medicine cat's words. It was true, Flickerpaw didn't mean any harm, yet Reedwhisker lashed out anyway. It was a part of the grieving process, something she had to get over eventually. And then came the disappointed look from Fawnpaw. Reedwhisker avoided the young she-cat's gaze. Out of embarrassment, and out of memory. She remembered when the last burial occurred, the Clan was burying Skystar and Reedwhisker had begun to cover the grave when Fawnpaw hadn't given Skystar her gift. The medicine cat wouldn't want to be around the warrior, now would she? Although, Reedwhisker's mood lifted when Ferretkit came up to Fawnpaw, offering a little flower. Her heart melted at the sight of the kit. Kits don't typically understand death, and hopefully, it would stay that way.

When the group had moved the mourning party to the Sleepy Thicket, Reedwhisker stayed close to Silverpaw, Birdpaw, and Fawnpaw. They were all sort of apprentices, she had to be there for them as a warrior and sister, right? Right.

Unsure of what more she could do, Reedwhisker set the body down and waited for a few moments before unsheathing her claws and helping Fawnpaw. She had to apologize to the medicine cat for her actions. Here we go...

"Fawnpaw..." Reedwhisker whispered, struggling not to sneeze with the dust that came up. "I... I'm sorry for my behavior during Skystar's and my mother's burials... as a daughter, I wanted to keep the burial family exclusive. As a warrior, I wanted more than my family present, having you here helped... but I realize now that I was just being selfish... I sincerely hope we can patch our relationship in the near future."

For @Orion and everyone else
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Looking to the group that traveled together to Sleepy Thicket to lay Lilyheart to rest, Reedwhisker let out a soft sigh. She would probably never get used to never seeing Lilyheart around anymore. And part of her thought that she wouldn't even try to get used to her mother's absence. Flintfang had disappeared in the middle of the mourning. When she needed him most. When his sisters needed him most. She'd probably stay at her mother's grave before heading back to camp to talk to her, even though the elder would never respond.

"I.. I'd like to stay here for a... a little w-while... a little while longer," Reedwhisker whispered to her Clanmates. "I-if you all don't mind..."

Re: Sleepy Thicket