@Arie

At first the darkness was somewhat relaxing. He had to ignore the chirping of birds, the padding and chattering of his clanmates. Out of all the things that Fro- Talonstone had learned, how to sleep in plain sight in broad daylight hadn't been one of them. It went against most of his survival lessons, actually. The large tom internally sighed. He was exhausted and his eyes could droop, body could curl up, but it was too loud, too bright for him to rest. How irritating. He supposed that he was bound to get some sleep sometime soon, but it was likely to be from a tired succumbing more than an actual accepting rest. Frost- Talonstone heard his name whispered and a rebellious ear twitched at the call. Then a paw hooked around his scruff and slowly dragged him into a nest. Doepaw... tuft, his mind provided, because no one else would drag him into a nest like that. She was still injured, wasn't she? He hoped that the tabby wasn't straining herself. Talonstone cracked an eye open, internally wincing at the bright sunlight when his eyes had just become accustomed to darkness. He craned his neck around to see Doepaw... tuft curling up in a smaller, opposite section of the nest and the tom frowned into his tail. This nest wasn't large. It was slightly comfier than the earth and it smelled vaguely of Doep- tuft. For the first time, Frost- Talonstone realized that he missed that little corner of the apprentices' den. He missed his own nest and it was strange, but he felt the smallest pang of sadness for the now-nonexistent structures. Now, back to the present. Gaze resting on Doep- tuft, Frost- Talonstone wondered. They were warriors now, so... anything was legal? Finding the energy to stand, Talonstone took a few steps towards Doetuft and curled back up beside the molly. This wasn't too different than what had happened that one night, Talonstone mentally told himself. The only thing was that they were actually sharing a nest for now... right?

@Arie

Even in a nest - a small, cramped nest with two cats being in it at once, but still a nest - Talonstone found that he was having trouble sleeping. He kept brushing against Doetuft by accident, and her scent kept wafting over him - it was her nest, after all - but it was quite distracting. Not in a bad way, he supposed. He was simply unfamiliar with this certain situation. That was a good thing? Being put on mandatory nest-rest shouldn't be something that a cat should be familiar with. It was what, slightly past sunhigh now? The later part of noon, meaning that he still had more than half a day to go before his usual resting time. His mind was rebelling against his tired body. Resting and sleeping weren't the same, right? So was it legal for him to stay awake as long as he didn't move around too much? It wasn't like he could fall asleep anyway; his body would succumb whenever it felt like it, regardless of Talonstone's personal preferences. The recently promoted warrior was a bit too exhausted to feel awkward about being in a nest with Doetuft. Sure, it was strange, but not awkward? He couldn't find the energy to really care. A head brushed against his cheek and Talonstone cracked an eye back open to see Doetuft much closer to him than before. He didn't want to answer her question, but she would no doubt worry if he didn't. "I'm fine," the tom responded in a mutter. If she had been expecting something else, then this wasn't really the time. He was tired, but fine. Also hungry... guardians, he had forgotten to get something to eat earlier. Whatever. He could find something later, whenever that would be.

@Arie

Another huff coming from his left, then the sounds of a cat leaving their nest. Was Doetuft irritated with him? It had sounded slightly huffier than her usual, exasperated huffs, which brought up the question: what had he done? The nest was cramped and they kept brushing together... which he supposed was even more awkward than the sharing a nest part. It wasn't his fault, though! Doetuft had been the one to drag him into the nest. He had been perfectly comfortable sleeping beside the nest, with all the room in the world for him to spread out. How was he expected to sleep with all his thoughts running rampant? This was all so distracting and he wasn't enjoying it. With a quiet grumble, Talonstone stood in the nest and walked around. Why? Why was he restless and thoughts running rampant when his eyes refused to stay open? This was... not right. He was exhausted but his body refused to cooperate. He wanted to run, he wanted to stretch, he wanted and seriously needed to sleep. Guardians. Could this day get any more irritating? The large tom cracked an eye open once again as Doetuft resettled herself into the nest. The scent of bird muffled his nose as a white bird was pushed towards him. Was that a dove? Why on earth would a dove be in the fresh-kill pile? It was probably a star-cursed omen of some sort. Luckily, Talonstone wasn't a medicine cat and could care less about the stars. Shifting into a position where his legs were tucked beneath his belly, the white warrior nosed the dove. It was plump. And white. Should he thank Doetuft for bringing it to him? The molly was still littered with scratches. Had she walked all the way to the fresh-kill pile and back on her own? His stomach had grumbled? He hadn't noticed. He probably wouldn't have noticed if a kit sat on him with how he was feeling at the moment. Talonstone held the dove down with a paw before tearing off a good-sized chunk of it and swallowing the flesh whole. It wasn't until then that he hsd noticed how absurdly hungry he'd been. How about Doetuft? Curiously, the white tom pushed the rest of the dove towards her in a... peace offering? A strange peace offering, but it was a dove... maybe that meant something? He was still hungry, yes, but hopefully one chunk would be enough to stop his stomach from grumbling like a traitor. Talonstone laid his head back onto his paws and covered his eyes with his fluffy tail. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would get some rest this time. Very likely, he wouldn't.

@Arie

For a few seconds, they were back to silence. Realize, they were back to silence. It was still early afternoon and the temporary camp was bustling with activity. Apprentices and kits called after their parents and mentors, fully ignorant of the extreme volumes of their voices. Warriors hunted, chatted, and sparred with one another. That's right... he was a warrior, too, now. Had been one for a couple of hours. So even if he and Doetuft were being quiet, it was still close to impossible to sleep. His eyes were shut, but his mind wandered and his ears twitched curiously. Why... wasn't Doetuft making any noise? The dove was in front of her, was it not? Then again, the molly wouldn't be able to see it. With a internal sigh, the tom shifted his tail and blinked his eyes open. And... Doetuft was staring... glaring at him? Was it possible or a blind cat to glare? Apparently so. For what reason? He was sure that he had done something wrong now, only he had no idea what. What could he have done? He hadn't done anything since the meeting. Was she irritated with his lack of energy? Guardians. Just another reason to be exasperated with his own body, huh. The stars were having fun even when he was incapable of being physically tortured at the moment. Why, weren't they getting creative? Almost rolling his eyes but deciding against it at the last moment - he was too tired to waste his energy on such a useless action, anyway - Talonstone rested his tail back onto his maw. Mollies could be strange at times. Then again, toms were strange, also. All cats were strange in a way; only prey-animals were capable of being straightforward. The white warrior only heard Doetuft's words because his ears had been subconsciously waiting for the tabby to speak her mind. He made no response, not pushing the dove away but not reaching to eat it. Sure, his hunger hadn't gone completely away, but he didn't feel like eating at the moment. Half a dove was should be to keep him going for another day, right? Frankly, the tomcat was a bit vexed that his offering had been declined. Not that Doetuft would've known that that's what it had been meant to be. It was just a lowly, half-eaten dove, after all; not something very important. Was he doing any better? That was what, the third time that Doetuft had asked that in the last few hours? Not that Talonstone was counting or anything. He was tempted to keep his maw clamped down and not respond, but if Doetuft wouldn't keep quiet about it, then she must be worried, right? Pointlessly worried, since she was in a worse shape than he was, or so he thought. " 's too loud to sleep," was the large warrior's muffled response as he burried his maw deeper into the fur of his paws. He probably looked like a talking pile of white fluff at the moment, not that Doetuft would know.

@Arie

The white warrior had been finally drifting off when Doetuft spoke again to... thank him? For what? It didn't come to him that she would notice the point of the dove late. Besides, his mind was actually being quiet for once and he wanted to take advantage of it. And then Doetuft spoke again. See, this is what he meant by this temporary camp being too loud. Not only were cats shouting, sparring, hunting, chatting, but now Doetuft kept trying to speak to him! How. How was he supposed to sleep like this? He should've just gone out into the territory to find a tree to sleep in. It would probably be infinitely quieter out there. Were his ears more sensitive? His senses had always been sharper when there was a lack of light. He was like a traditional shadowcat, being better at everything in darkness, regardless of the fact that he had been born through thunder. The only issue with better night senses was that it made sleeping much harder than necessary. His mind was active, even in rest. He woke at the first sign of most things. And if he was trying to sleep in daylight, then it wouldn't work unless he was seriously exhausted because he could still hear everything that went on in camp and his eyes, even beneath his eyelids, would take notice of the light, thus confusing his mind about the validity of sleeping when it technically wasn't sleeping time! But anyways. Right, Doetuft had asked him a question. Which he had responded to, just in his mind where the tabby molly wouldn't be able to hear the answer. Whatever. He wasn't saying all that again out loud. The large warrior stifled a yawn, clamping his maw shut tighter for the duration of the quiet action. Then he shifted, feeling Doetuft pressing onto him as if they were chatting and not falling asleep in the same nest. The latter was perfectly normal, right? Cats who weren't in a defined relationship were aloud to sleep together? Or was there some unspoken rule against that. Curse the stars, he and Doetuft were actually breaking the Code right now. All new warriors must hold a vigil until moonhigh. So much for that. He could do it tomorrow. That was legal, right? He would rather not do it at all since the stars really just wanted a way to play around with him, but he didn't want to give them another reason to make his lifemiserable, which was bound to happen if he broke the Code again. Actually, this was what? The third or fourth time that he would be breaking it? Huh, no wonder the stars absolutely hated him.

[some time after midnight, two a.m. in twoleg time]

Talonstone cracked his eyes open. He was awake and aware, energized and ready to start his day, and... it was just past midnight. Curse the stars, why was it midnight? He had fallen asleep early afternoon, and now it was nighttime. He had gotten a full day's worth of sleep and he had enough energy to hunt or do something, anything, but it was just his luck to wake a few hours before dawn. With a silent grumble, Talonstone made to stand up before noticing that Doetuft was leaning onto him. Right... how was he supposed to get up without waking the molly up? Slowly easing his way out from under the resting tabby, the white warrior made sure not to allow her to bang herself into the floor. Then, he quietly crept out of the nest and looked at Doetuft. The moonlight shone on her fur and she seemed to glow. Something tugged and he felt this feeling... that he had felt before. Multiple times when being around Doetuft. They were warriors now... so he could... embrace that feeling to... understand? He knew what he felt and why he felt it. Did Doetuft feel the same way? That was the question. And why was he thinking about this? These thoughts... were not productive ones. He should be doing something like hunting. At night, yeah. Get away from the camp before he wakes anyone up. Weren't there owls at night, though? They hunted cats who prowled in the darkness. Should he... take that chance? Fine, whatever. He was hunting and that was final. No one else would be waking up for the next two hours, anyway.

[and now morning, past Frosty's hunt and Doe's nap]

The tomcat had returned to his - Doetuft's? - nest after depositing a single shrew into the fresh-kill pile. Apparently, he had managed to doze off again - see how much easier it was to sleep when the rest of camp was also dormant? - because the next thing he remembered was Doetuft bumping herself into his head. It seemed that they were back to their daily accidents. Sadly, Talonstone had stopped counting around a month ago. The white warrior opened his eyes to notice that his tail was wrapped around Doetuft's. Ah, how had that happened again? Anyway, the molly was awake and so was he... but Doetuft wasn't aware that he was awake. At least, that's what the warrior assumed. He would give her time to think, then, and he would... not do the same. Nope, no time to dwell on feelings. Or... fine, maybe he would. He... liked Doetuft. He actually did like her. It was strange to... like someone and it was dangerous, too. Most cats that he enjoyed spending time with ended up dead. Like Ravenpaw. And Flintfreckle. At was foolish to think that this... Doetuft's fate would be any different, but he couldn't help hoping for once.

@Arie

The longer he thought about it, the stranger it seemed. He - Talonstone - despised physical contact. He would avoid it the best he could, as if a cat had the plague. Yet, ever since Doetuft, he had slowly been loosening up on his 'no touching' rule, starting with allowing touch between him and the grey-brown tabby. Somehow, he had gotten so used to her fur brushing against his that he didn't mind sharing a nest, and he had apparently accidentally intertwined his tail with Doetuft's in their sleep. How it had happened, let alone why they weren't freeing their tails now that they were both conscious of their position, Talonstone didn't know, nor did he understand. He could assume, but he would never truly know. Perhaps, Doetuft didn't mind their tails wrapping around each other's. The white tomcat hadn't minded, but after all this thinking, he felt the sudden urge to get up and be on his own for a bit. Yet, due to the fact that he and Doetuft had their tails trapped together, he couldn't leave without uncurling his tail from hers, which was something that he didn't really want to do... because it might send Doetuft the wrong impression. What was the right impression? That he didn't mind? That he enjoyed... this, whatever this was? What if Doetuft didn't feel the same way? What if this entire relationship was already hopeless? Perhaps he was over-thinking this, but that would mean that he over-thought about everything else, also. Which he likely did, but didn't want to admit. His thoughts were thankfully interrupted as Doetuft greeted him a good morning. As usual, the white tom decided not of reply, instead flicking his ear in acknowledgement before thinking again and meowing a monotone, "Morning." It was possibly one of the strangest mornings that he'd had, with these out-of-place feelings and vexing actions, but it was still a morning nonetheless. At Doetuft's first "I", Talonstone turned to her curiously and in slight bemusement as she trailed off. While the molly did have a stutter, the tom didn't recall her stopping in the middle of sentences usually. Her second "I" passed and the warrior furrowed his brow in obvious confusion. He opened his maw to ask what was going on, only to be cut off as a burst of words left Doetuft's mouth. Talonstone's maw hanged open for a bit before he closed it, processing those words slowly in his mind. She... kind of liked him? Like, the like type of like? His heart lurched and it felt so strange, somewhat giddy, and Talonstone had to fight a smirk from randomly appearing onto his maw. Right... how was he supposed to respond to that? He had to do it quickly before Doetuft thought wrong, but... "I..." Guardians, now he was becoming a victim of the trailing I's, too! Suddenly, a head burried itself into his chest fluff and Talonstone mentally panicked. Hurry, hurry. "I... enjoy... spending time... with you, also," he meowed carefully, staring straight ahead and not at all towards Doetuft. Had that even made sense? No, if Lionpaw was here, he would've be laughing his tail off at Talonstone's incompetence. "Isortoflikeyoutoo," the white tom ended up muttering, the tips of his ears burning red with embarrassment. There. There, he had said it and never again. Ah... the warrior looked down at Doetuft desperately, wishing that he could sink into the ground and bury his face beneath his paws. This was so stardamned embarrassing and there were so many ways that this could go wrong.

@Arie

He felt his body growing warmer and he couldn't tell whether it was extreme embarrassment or some other feelings. He felt somewhat abashed, but also... there was this positive, bubbly emotion that he couldn't name, nor could he describe it any better than that, apparently. It was nice, but awkward. Why? Why did everything about Doetuft have to be so awkward? He recalled the words that he had thought a moon ago: nothing is ever normal around Doepaw... Doetuft, now. That hadn't changed at all, regardless of their new ranks. They had only been warriors for one day, and here they were, already declaring their love for each other. Love. It was a strange word, one that he doubted that he would say out loud ever again. His actions around Doetuft tended to be unpredictable, however, so that wasn't a set rule. The tom held his breath without noticing as Doetuft burried herself deeper into his fur. Was this a bad time to admit that he seriously was fluffy? If the tabby molly pushed any further, then Talonstone was slightly worried that his friend would disappear. Wait... friend? Were they still friends now, or something more? It was so awkward and confusing. Like this: Doetuft was the closest she'd ever been to him right now, and he wasn't doing a thing about it. He wasn't pulling her closer or pushing her away. He was just... sitting there, lost. Contemplating over what would come next; reflecting on what had brought them to this point. Were they going to go back to normal now? Something had undoubtedly changed, but what? He didn't want Doetuft to treat him any differently and he wasn't sure that he could change himself. A teasing voice entered his mind and the tom internally cringed. Lovebirds, that's what Irisflame had called them. Was she right, now? It was terrifying to think about. Hearing Doetuft's uncertain voice, Talonstone stilled once more, releasing his breath when the tabby failed to finish her sentence. So. So what? It was a perfect way to describe them at the moment. So what were they now; so what were they going to do next? So what did they want; so what were they feeling? The tom pushed those thoughts away, or at least, he tried to. He had been getting carried away with all ths 'so what's'. He almost didn't notice when Doetuft pulled away ever so slightly, and suddenly his chest - where she had been - felt cold. As if he had lost something that belonged to him. The warrior felt his head turning and gaze resting on Doetuft, scrutinizing her as if they had just met. As if he had never actually seen her before, despite having known each other for moons. Each little detail on the molly's pelt popped out to him, as did her form and how she moved... how she breathed, more like it. The tabby settled down beside him, close but not clinging, and Talonstone forced himself to look away. Staring was rude, even if the feline being watched wasn't aware of that. Another trail of 'so' came out of Doetuft's mouth. The tom shifted awkwardly, not sure whether or not he should try to say something. And then... Doetuft thanked him. For what? For being her friend? For existing? And that led them back to that first question. Were they still friends or not? Could they still be friends but also something more? "You are welcome," Talonstone found himself saying, just because it was the proper response to that phrase. He was still confused. Lost. But not scared or worried? He wasn't troubled with what the future might bring. Not at all, because right now, he was living in the present. In the moment. This moment, however strange it was. Did this change things? Well, first they would need to define what this was. So he answered truthfully, "I... do not know. Do you want it to?" Because he did. He wanted them to be more, but not if Doetuft wasn't ready. "Things will change... slowly." Their tails were intertwined and for now, they were one. What a strange day and what a strange feeling. He didn't know what to think about it. "Are we still friends... or are we something... more? Is it possible to be both?" That was his question, what he wanted to know. Navigating this relationship would be... difficult. Different. And he accepted the challenge.

@Arie

The large tom caught himself quietly watching Doetuft again. His ears warmed and he tilted his gaze away from the molly in embarrassment, regardless of the fact that she wouldn't have noticed his staring. Even if they had just admitted their feelings for each other, it didn't give him a reason to keep his eyes on the tabby warrior at all times. That had never been an issue before, but now his mind was going haywire and he didn't know why. Actually, he did know why, he just... didn't understand it. Was this going to be a problem from now on, accidentally looking at Doetuft at random times of the day? He hoped not. Preferably, it was only going to be a post-admission sort of thing, which was already discomfiting enough. The warrior shifted back naturally as Doetuft approached him, warmth flowing through him when the molly made contact once more. Strange... it was like leaving a den in the middle of leafbare, then coming back and allowing the gentle heat to melt any snow on one's pelt away. Slowly, the tom subconsciously calmed his breathing so that he was in synch with the molly. Last night, he had been too tired to care about the closeness between them. Now he was aware of every little action that each of the made, so when he noticed the pattern between their breathes, he felt his body grow warm again. Guardians, no. They had been warriors for one day; he should not be feeling like this. Could Doetuft sense his awkwardness? He wasn't sure, nor did he want to be. Not about this. Feelings were strange things and Talonstone did not like them, especially the positive ones. Positivity had a strange effect on the brittle tom and he wasn't a fan of it. He wasn't a fan of anything, really. Negative emotions, he could deal with, but happiness... it was flustering. Not to mention embarrassing, slightly mortifying, and awkward. Three things that he did not enjoy the feeling of. Thinking back, if anyone had told him that he would actually enjoy living the clan of shadows, and even make friends, the old Talonstone - Frostpaw - would've flatly stared at them like they had grown a second head, then would've moved on with nothing more than a mental scoff at certain felines' impressive naivety. It had been how long since then? Five moons. It had been over a season since he joined the clan of shadows, and he had lived with them for over a third of his life. He had been so closed off back then, and somewhat angsty and arrogant, too. The warrior mentally cringed at that thought. Thank the guardians that he had changed since then, even if most of the metamorphosis had been due to Doetuft's incescant prodding. They had met each other through a chance encounter that one night in the apprentices' den. Once again, he felt a twinge of disappointment that his little corner had been destoyed and it was almost amusing compared to how much he had hated being confined back there, so far away from the exit of the den, during his first fortmoon of being a shadowcat. Talonstone internally huffed to himself in exasperation, shoving those reflective musings from his mind. This was not the time for him to be writing a mental memoir of his life, for guardians' sake. He was only fourteen - well, fifteen moons now, actually. He had seasons to go before he should even be comtemplating his past. "Then they will change... slowly," the white warrior meowed, although he wasn't entirely sure what that would be like. His ears flicked in vexation. How was he supposed to say someting like that without feeling awkward? He couldn't. Not right now, at least. Doetuft's tail tightened around his, and the tom self-consciously returned the action, wishing but simultaneously not really wanting to get this over with. He wanted... but didn't want it. That was something that he had never thought to think of before. Frankly, he shouldn't be surprised. This was possibly the most eventful day in his life. Or at least it made it onto the top three, somewhere along the not entirely accidental murder of his first mentor and his first encounter with Lionpaw and Ravenpaw... stop. Apparently, his most eventful days weren't in any way positive and he sincerely didn't want to ruin this flustering moment. So tuning his attention back to Doetuft's words, Talonstone nodded slowly, vaguely. "I agree." He would've said more, but the words refused to form in his maw, so he simply closed it and waited a few moments, freezing when Doetuft's muzzle made contact with his cheek. Then, taking a chance, he gently returned the action, ignoring his heart racing as he willingly initiated contact for the first time in a while.

@Arie

One moment could feel as if it lasted forever, then the next could go by in the flash of a lightning strike. Time was a relative thing in that aspect, and Talonstone wasn't sure how he felt about it. When it battle, there was no time to think. Everything happened in the blick of an eye; whether one died or walked away unscathed was determined within a millisecond. But moments like this... these were the moments that seemed to last an eternity, like a leaf slowly falling but never touching the ground, courtesy of a soft breeze. He could relax into the moment, wish for it to never end and it wouldn't. It wouldn't until it did, at least, and he knew that when he looked back in the future, it would feel as if this moment had gone by much to quickly. So he savored it... as well as he could while still actively experiencing it. What a strange thing to do; never had he put so much thought into one action, or even a group of actions. He wanted to archive this morning and never forget it... and it scared him, just a bit. Because what if something went wrong, when reality finally caught up to them again? He didn't want to break if the worse came into play, which it would eventually. No matter how far he tried to run, the stars would always be able to shine down on him. Not even the Guardians could protect him from them. He had surprised himself when he had returned that muzzle. It was as if his body had been acting on his own, just as it did during battle. When he fought, he would calculate at times, but for the most part, he acted purely on instinct. That... muzzle; it had been the same thing. But how was it possible? He had never been muzzled in his life... the thought resounded in his head, the taunting, echoing cry of a hawk. How come...? Foxhearts, that was how come. He had been deprived of affection all his life and now that it was being offered to him... how had he known how to react? That return muzzle had been instinct, but where had that instinct come from? His family was broken; he hadn't inherited it from them. Lionpaw and Ravenpaw? Neither of the two were physically affectionate, either. Perhaps it had come from him. Perhaps, somewhere under all his brittle ice, he was capable of being... affectionate. It was a different way of looking at things, but surprising as it was, it could be true. He wasn't a robot; he wasn't expandable... he was himself. Talonstone. Frostpaw. Frosty. Snowflake. Tiger... Feeling a bit foolish at his sudden moment of self-reflection, the large tom turned to Doetuft, who seemed just as lost in thought as he was. They were so similar and yet so different... wasn't everyone, though? Complete opposites didn't exist. The sun and the moon both resided in the sky; night and day were connected through dawn and dusk. The sudden purr from Doetuft internally startled him, but the ghost of a smile graced his maw. Really, it was somewhere in between a faint smirk and a small smile, but that in itself was a miracle for the emotionless-faced warrior. Doetuft was content at this moment and so was he. He wished for this... strange, peaceful morning to never end, but alas, nothing - and especially not good things - lasted forever. When the tabby molly sat up, he didn't fight against it. He was disappointed, however, and his body grew warm in... it wasn't embarrassment, nor was it shame. Sheepishness? He felt like a kitten hoping for the comfort of its mother. "I suppose," Talonstone responded, recalling a blurred vision of that half-eaten dove from yesterday. Following Doetuft out of the nest, he turned a questioning gaze at the molly when she sat down instead of picking out her own food... and then it dawned on him. They were... a bit more than friends now. Small steps, she had said. This was a trial. Sharing food was one of those steps that they would have to take. Now understanding his role, the warrior diligently scanned the fresh-kill pile. It had a decent assortment of food stacked up, especially considering that they'd only been here for a day. With an accomplished smirk, the tom picked out a plump shrew, and walked to the side of Doetuft before setting the prey-animal in front of her. Moons ago when they had first met, Doetuft had claimed that shrews were her favorite prey. Here, Talonstone was hoping that the preference hadn't changed and that she'd been telling the truth back then. "You go first," the warrior meowed after a few moments. Otherwise, they both might've ended up just doing absolutely nothing instead of taking a bite.

@Arie

They were taking things slowly, he and Doetuft, and it was so strange, so foreign. His life had never gone by slowly before. He had always been in some sort of rush. Of course, it wasn't obvious that he felt like that. With his apprenticeship having taken longer that most, cats would naturally assume that he was used to a blander, less exciting pace, but no. Nothing about those plain moons had been leisurely. Something was always happening, pushing him forwards, screaming into his mind. While his hours in the shadows had been less rigorous than of those from the thunder, they had in no way been slow. Evenly paced, yes, but not slow. Still much more stressful than relaxing. He'd met up with his mentor almost every day, there had been raids and surprise training sessions, hunting and sparring and sudden tasks such as den rebuilding and rescuing clanmates from silverdens. No, it hadn't been slow at all. Even during the night when he should've been resting, time hadn't slowed. Not in a relaxing manner, that was. Curled up in his nest, at times, the seconds would trickle by so slowly that he could count a hundred grains of sand before one passed. They were tense, uncomfortable seconds... and while he was exaggerating just a bit, the point remained to be seen. This moment that he was sharing with Doetuft was strange... because he was relaxed and unrushed, and content overall; his mind was dwelling in the present rather than sweeping through the past. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were both warriors now. Obviously, not having to train with a mentor daily would allow one a greatly needed break. Thinking about mentors, though... the white tom hadn't seen his mentor - well, ex-mentor, now, he supposed - in forever. Whatever had happened to Flintfreckle? It was vaguely disappointing that the warrior hadn't been able to witness the promotion of his apprentice. The spotted tom had disappeared off to who knew where. Talonstone didn't want to believe that his ex-mentor was dead, likely as it must have been... so he just ignored the fact that feline had ever existed in the first place. Cats came and went; few ever stayed, especially those who were close to him. It was difficult to ignore a cat's existence, so whenever a memory popped up, the white warrior didn't fight it. He just went with it, but never dwelled on it any longer than strictly necessary. That meant that... all three of his former mentors were dead or missing. Well. That was nice, he supposed wryly. And his entire direct biological family was still alive? Yes? No? He wouldn't have known if all of them were dead, frankly. He followed Doetuft dutifully as the tabby padded over to a holly bush and although he tried not to show it, he gazed at the bush distastefully for a second. Holly... The tom soon turned his attention back to Doetuft, only to be met with a cheek brushing against his. Talonstone felt fluttery, found that feeling embarrassing, and mentally blamed it on the holly bush despite being perfectly aware that said feeling had nothing to do with a random bush. He felt ecstatic and flustered and somewhat amused... and it was strange and he didn't but definitely did like it. Emotions were too complicated for his liking. Doetuft bumped against him and Talonstone retaliated by swinging his overly fluffy tail st the molly, settling down when she pressed against him once more. How odd... he didn't know how to feel about this. The amount of contact that they were making was absurd, especially compared to the beginning of their relationship... which had been full of 'accidents' actually. Said accidents must've eventually gotten them to making contact with each other. The warrior blinked expressionlessly at the shrew as it was pushed his way. Prodding the thing with his nose, he eventually took a smallish bite of the creature, allowing the taste to sink into his tongue before swallowing... and then he froze as something rough yet soft and wet touched the back of his neck. Was... was Doetuft grooming him? The tom instinctively shifted so that the molly wouldn't have to stretch as much, breathing steadily and eventually relaxing against the touch. This... would take quite a bit of time to get used to. "Small steps," he agreed simply, thoughtfully. This... contact thing and sharing food thing was yet another one of those small steps, which led to the question: what was next? Talonstone wasn't sure; he just planned on going along with whatever came uo next. With that, he pushed what was left of the shrew back to Doetuft. "Your turn," he meowed. It was like a game, passing the plump prey-animal back and forth.

@Arie

It was dangerous. Love, that was. It could build the foundations for something more, but also leave cracks in stone that could never be repaired. There were different types of love. It could be fast, like a claw slashing into the sand, leaving paw prints that disappeared over time. That would be a fling, something that most cats would eventually forget. There was also the type of love that wasn't meant to be. Cross-Clan relationships or games between supposed mates. Abandonment. That was the type of love that his parents had experienced. An icicle forming, majestic at first, until it comes crashing down, harming anyone that stands between it and the ground. He had been one of the cats beneath that falling icicle. Love at first sight could also happen, although it was a bit rarer than the others. The warrior wasn't sure how to describe that one. Mutual attraction simply didn't exist in nature. A bee to a flower, perhaps. Symbiosis. Yes, that would work. But... he and Doetuft, they were neither of those three. Some felines believed that if one saw another often enough in life, they would grow to love one another or something like that. The constant companionship and ability to relate would eventually lead to something greater than acquaintanceship. It could lead to best friends, or something greater... that was them. The elements wearing down a ragged stone, eventually revealing the gemstone hidden inside. Not that he was comparing Doetuft to weather or anything like that. But he had digressed. The point was that all feelings were dangerous in one way or another, but the feeling called love was by far the worst. It could save or kill, grant happiness or delude. When Talonstone had first stepped paw into the pine forest moons ago, he had already understood the negative sides of that. For that reason, he shielded his heart, watching and analyzing everyone. His goal had been to be the best warrior, to prove that he could be a useful tool. Back then, he'd had nothing to lose. And then he met Doetuft. In the last few moons, he'd been taught how to live. Not to survive, but to live. And... it was strange. A new experience. The frosty tom was still young, but he'd gone through more things than most warriors. That didn't make it any easier. Besides, survival wasn't all that important right at this moment. The shadowcats were all safe in this refuge, or so he hoped. What was more concerning was his lack in the romance department, or anything that included social interactions, really. Talonstone hadn't even noticed that his tail had found its way onto Doetuft's back until then. He felt something tingle as the molly spluttered. It was a mix of amusement and something more... fondness? Guardians, he wasn't ready. Was he scared of... liking Doetuft? The warrior didn't dare think love. They weren't ready for that step - he wasn't ready. Small steps, they had agreed on; he'd never thought that it would be him who needed them. The progression hadn't bothered him until now. Talonstone watched as the shrew was pushed back to him once again; there wasn't much of it left. Despite feeling quite self-conscious about it, the tom neatly finished up the rest of the prey-animal, then pushed away the bones. A deep rumble came from against his shoulder blades and only moons of training prevented him from startling. Doetuft was... purring? Was that what the noise was? How... did one purr? And for a shocking moment, Talonstone realized that he had never purred before, not once in his fourteen moons of life. This... could be a nice time to start. But his throat grew dry at the thought of it and so the white warrior relented. Better to save it for later and hope that he didn't make a fool of himself. Talonstone stood after Doetuft, scanning what he could see of the forest beyond. After his nighttime hunt, he was already somewhat familiar with the area. It would likely seem different during the day. Small steps, the words echoed in his mind, and the tom flicked an ear in thoughtfulness. "Follow me. I have an idea as to where we could go."

[later at dusk]

The warrior walked swiftly, or as swiftly as he could with Doetuft still leaning on him. They were both carrying an assortment of twigs between their jaws in preparation to renovate that absurdly small nest. While it may have been comfortable for Doetuft, the frosty tom was more than a bit larger than her, and two cats didn't belong in a single, one-cat nest. They wouldn't be making it that much bigger, just expanding it so that they'd both have enough room to move around without bothering the other. Talonstone wasn't an active sleeper, but his wild thoughts sometimes kept him awake at night. Usually, that wasn't a problem, but he didn't want to worry Doetuft if she happened to realize. Thinking about Doetuft... the she-cat was dripping wet. Drenched. It was impressive compared to Talonstone, whose pelt gleamed in the dying light. It hadn't occurred to him that the molly wasn't waterproof until they left the stream to gather sticks. Twigs. Whatever. She hadn't immediately dried off, so it seemed that the white warrior would be cursed with the troubles of being near a soggy cat for the next few hours or so. The tom refrained from rolling his eyes at Doetuft's dramatics as he replied nonchalantly, "However could it be my fault? I never forced you to come in with me." He pointedly ignored the second part of the tabby's question. So she hadn't been blessed with fluffy yet water resistant fur. What a shame. It would've saved him from needing to listen to her whining. He looked over to the nest and scrutinized it for a second before deciding, "Yes, that's large enough." The nest was now roomy enough for two cats, since he was a bit larger and Doetuft a bit smaller. At Doetuft's insistence, Talonstone padded into the renovated pile of sticks... twigs and moss. He wasn't going to get sick, or at least, he hoped not. Not only was his fur waterproof, but he also had a skilled immune system. Lucky for him, since Stormgorse had made it very clear that daily training was mandatory, regardless of whatever injuries or illnesses he was armed with that day. Failure to show up on time or perform up to standards resulted in a nice, invisible scratch, so really, all that was being tested was his resilience, or perhaps his pain tolerance. The tom mentally shoved those thoughts away. He was having a good day overall, no need to ruin it by thinking about his weasel-faced mentor.

@Arie

It was strange. After that incident, one would expect for him to feel more reserved, more guarded, but instead, the opposite was true. With thoughts of the life-threatening situation left in the past, buried and covered in dirt somewhere in his mind, Talonstone was feeling... not upset, guilty, nor frustrated. Perky almost, with a hint of sarcasm, reminiscent to how he had been... many, many moons ago. It was the water's fault that he was feeling this way, because the water was the easiest thing to blame. Water was just there, and it was logical. Any other cat would simply assume that the stream brought back good memories. Not true. Not at all. But the rising of these lighter emotions definitely had nothing to do with the fact that the frosty tom hadn't felt this content since he was eight moons old. Before... the first incident occurred. Well, not the first if one counted all the others. It all depended on one's definition of an incident and the usage of the word 'first'. First in this context was used because it had happened in the past, before the other incident that he had also referenced recently, but he had digressed. The point was, these strange positive feelings making a return had nothing to do with the lack of negativity that was nowadays surrounding him. In other words, Talonstone's recent contentness had nothing to do with him not being too grumpy. Not that he was saying that he was usually grumpy. He was feeling... strangely nonchalant this night. As if he would be alright with letting things slide - just this once - rather than getting all serious about it. It was an acceptable feeling, but the warrior had no idea what to do about it. He didn't like things that he couldn't control. Positive feelings were one of those things. Did that mean that he didn't enjoy positivity? Guardians, this was beginning to confuse him. What positivity had he had in his life? Lionpaw took great pride in flustering the larger feline, and they had what some cats would call a 'love-hate relationship.' The next thing that came to mind upon hearing the word 'positivity' was Foggybrook... and he could care less about that hopeless excuse for a competent warrior. Frankly, she would likely be better off as a kittypet. Was that all he could think of for outright positivity? Because if it was, the shadowcat decided, then anything resembling positivity in the slightest way possible wasn't his thing. Which included these exasperating feelings that refused to leave him alone right now. Although... sarcasm probably didn't count as a positive feeling. It was a feeling, however, and the urge to bite back wasn't something that the reserved tom usually felt. It seemed that he had been too occupied with the thoughts in his mind because up until just then, Talonstone had failed to notice that Doetuft had more or less managed to melt into his fur. Once again, it was that bad habit showing up. He thought too much and let his guard fall too low whenever Doetuft was around. Her presence alone forced him to relax. Five moons ago, he might've attacked a cat who got close enough to rest their head on him, yet Doetuft was practically disappearing beneath his fur, and he couldn't bring himself to care. It was normal - natural - for this to be happening. Over the course of a season, they had gotten so close to each other that Doetuft had poked a hole through almost all of his mental defenses. There were still some left - some that even Talonstone refused to acknowledge at times - but those weren't important. If for whatever reason, Doetuft should choose to ignore him one day, then Talonstone would be convinced that he had done something impressively wrong. "Who said I would've drowned?" the tom retorted. "Your lack of faith wounds me." That had come out blunter than he had aimed for, but it still got the point across. Overdramatic much? Well, call it the reverberation of all those times that he had refrained from snapping at some other cat over the past few moons. The tom closed his eyes; to rest them, not to sleep. Despite his comfortable position, Doetuft's soggyness pressing against him would make drowsing off a bit difficult. Not that he minded, as long as the molly was near him, he would be alright. Staying up late, resting but not sleeping, was not uncommon for the large tom to do. Unhealthy as it might be, he was used to it. He had never hsd trouble functioning due to a lack of sleep before, not since his earliest apprenticeship days. The frosty tom had learned since then. At the tabby's words, Talonstone's eyes cracked open, and he turned his deep sapphire gaze to meet Doetuft's blind - though not less aware in the least - one. She wanted to talk. Talk about what? The white-furred warrior didn't want to talk. He wanted to avoid the topic, or leave it in the past depending on what it was. Her voice was muffled, yet the words rang clear in his mind. Boundaries. Foundations. Guardians, she was look to him for an answer, to make the first move just as he always did. Didn't she know that he was hopeless at romance? Not romance, then. Whatever this was supposed to be. Friendship? Slightly more than friends. Talonstone was hopeless in any form of relationship, whatever it might be, but for Doetuft, he would try. "We will take things slowly," he began, even though she likely already knew that. It was something of their motto by now, to take things slowly, and repeat that phrase over and over again. And boundaries. What about those? "Our minds are not connected, nor are our physical bodies. We both have duties to attend to. I cannot be with you always, and vice versa." Then what? "Communication is important. Jumping to conclusions is something that we cannot risk. It could fracture us or worse." Another pause. "I will not lie to you. Especially not when dealing with important matters. I ask that you also agree to speak the truth, even if the truth might hurt. I will not pry. You may choose to not respond..." but, please, Talonstone didn't want to be lied to. It showed a lack of trust, and he wanted to trust Doetuft with his life. "As for other things..." things that involved bodies, moving around, contact, and reproducing, "that, will can decide as we go." He had spoken a lot, asked for a lot... he felt as if he was commanding Doetuft rather than suggesting guidelines for the both of them, and Guardians, how he hated it. "I don't know," he admitted quietly, hesitantly. He didn't know, didn't know. Communication was key, but he didn't know. "Is it too much?" He needed to know Doetuft's thoughts before he could be at peace with it.

@Arie

What if there were two separate vines on two different trees? The vines would spread far enough that they layered every last tail-length of bark, and from there, they would search for another plant to cover up. What if those vines both came from the same batch of seeds? What if the vines were planted only a few feet apart? Yet, both would spread in two different directions, not once interacting with each other despite their close proximity. Eventually, the vines would have to meet. Say that there were only four suitable trees in the forest. It was inevitable. Frankly, Talonstone felt like a vine. How he had not once interacted with Doetuft back as a thundercat, despite having shared dens with her for at least four moons of his early life. How he had never once been put on a patrol alongside her; never stumbled into her one day in camp. Probability said that such ignorance was near impossible. His memories reassured him that probability, just like logic, was wrong. No form of mathematics could be applied to him. A supercomputer would malfunction before it would be able to comprehend Talonstone, if only he knew what any of those were. But, the warrior still wasn't done. Not only would the vines meet, they would climb over one another. Where else could they go? And, once one part of stem was tangled, they would be so forever, unless another, more powerful force intervened. The second that he had seen Doetuft in the old apprentices' den, they had met. By the next day, they were tangled. He would be stuck with the molly by his side for the rest of his life, unless something extreme happened, which Talonstone would rather not want to deal with. As far as he was concerned for the time being, he and Doetuft were going to be together, and nothing at all was going to prevent that. The frosty tom froze in surprise when the grey-brown tabby laughed, but quickly dismissed the sudden feeling. What was so amusing about it? The phrase? It was their motto; he couldn't be expected to speak about this without mentioning it. Said motto contradicted everything that Talonstone had learned of in life. He had always done things quickly; finishing one task and moving onto the next, the days blending into moons without the slightest hints of a rest. He didn't need a rest; not when it came to the average duties of being a clan cat. In his and Doetuft's relationship, however, they were overly intent on taking things slowly. To take a step back and think things trough, to take a break from the wild rush of life around them. It was strange yet relieving simultaneously, and the large warrior had grown to accept that. He craned his neck back dryly as Doetuft puffed air into his face, both parts amused and exasperated at the kittish action. Talonstone wasn't a kit. Neither was Doetuft. Had they ever been? He didn't know. Well, age-wise, the answer was obvious: of course, they must have been. All cats were once kittens, whether they be an elder now and regardless of image. The question was, had they ever acted appropriately for their age? A kit acting like a kit was normal. A kit acting like an elder was a tail in the air, a warning to get them to the medicine cat as soon as possible. Meanwhile, a kitten copying an apprentice, few batted an eye on, and a kit attempting to complete the tasks of a warrior would either be encouraged or sent back to the nursery, depending on the kit, the observer, and the task. Kittens were weak creatures, Talonstone noted. The younger they were, the less will that they had to live. There was no point. Dying was an escape from the world, and life was bittersweet. For every joy that a cat could face, two disasters lurked just beyond the corner. It was those small joys that kept a cat willing to persist. Kittens had not lived long enough to feel such emotion; therefore, they had no reason to persevere. The comfort of their mother's tongue, the taste of milk, and the warmth of a nest was all that kittens asked for. Talonstone had been denied of all three of those. Any other kit would have given up right then, but Talonstone had been denied of even that right - death was not an option. He had mewled loudly until a queen eventually broke from the noise, or so he had been told. Rude and hopeless even as a mindless being, were the paraphrased words. That was the stars' first interference in his life, for better or worse. They had refused to accept him, for whatever reason. Kittens were sent to the stars often, sometimes before they were even born, but him? No, better to let the forest of darkness claim his instead. Ah, but he had digressed. He couldn't even recall what he had been thinking about previously. Something had led his mind to wander back to his early kithood; whatever it was, he supposed that it mattered little, now, as he turned his attention back to Doetuft's words. He mentally agreed. Truth was similar to hope and death in many ways. Hope, like truth, seemed to be always good, no matter the context. That was false. Some cats told white lies to protect another's feelings. Harmless at first, yet should the lies be revealed, that friendship was over. Respectively, all creatures needed hope in their lives - it was their drive, their safeguard against everything that might go wrong. Yet, too much hope could lead to naivety, foolish ignorance. Talonstone knew more than one feline who lived in a bubble, and that was simply ridiculous. They were warriors; they were predators. They lived to kill. It was in their blood. Instinct. He wasn't saying that it was fair to go around murdering weaklings, but look at it this way: if the clans didn't exist and every cat was on their own, then what would happen? The more ruthless cats would rise to the top, followed by the competent and their disciples, and anyone else would eventually perish. He wasn't being pessimistic - it was fact. One thing that he and logic both agreed on. Inside, Talonstone was panicking. He was thinking too much, and he was aware. There should be quiet in his mind; he was busy contemplating the hierarchy of nature. Guardians, hush. He pushed all those thoughts from his mind, leaving a soothing darkness that he could settle into. Good. This wasn't a time for going on mental tangents. He was supposed to be listening to Doetuft. Yes, he could do that... Seconds passed... Alright, this was impossible. Nudge before shove; it was unlikely that he would need either. He preferred to think of himself as a cat guided by facts, yet when he and logic disagreed, which actually happened quite often, he turned to his emotions. Said emotions were a complete and utter mess seventy percent of the time. Was that a good thing? No, not really. But he was used to it. He could handle it, and no cat needed to know. Two knew already. That was enough. A head pushed it's way beneath his chin, and for whatever reason, he allowed it. Never mind that it was strange and somewhat uncomfortable; he evaded his gaze, looked away from those green eyes... sapphire and emerald. It wasn't alright, what Doetuft had said. It was never alright to feel lost, yet it was something that had to be expected. Like it wasn't alright to fail, but it was part of the learning process. Feeling lost, being confused, failing... none of those three were ever alright; they were just things that cats had to deal with, and the fact that they were so common made it slightly more bearable, in optimists' eyes. The goal was success, always success, and failure was failure. Confusion was the failure to comprehend, and being lost was the failure to formulate a plan. Bumps in the terrain, those two were, something that a cat should be able to overcome. Yet, sometimes one fell into a ditch or came across a mountain. Then, the problems began. Struggle was unacceptable, just as failure was. None of it mattered, however, because all cats ever cared about was the end goal. It didn't matter how many died as long as the raid was a success; as long as enough cats remained strong enough to support the rest of the clan. Struggles and confusion cast aside; if they won, they won, and if they lost... then blame it on those things that the victor would cast aside. Never worry about too much? If the sun told the rain that same exact phrase, then they would all drown due to flooding; if the rain said it to the sun, forest fires and droughts would reign. There needed to be a balance, a line in between too enough and too much. Too much love resulted in clingyness; too much faith was ignorance. He couldn't have either of those. What was too much worry? Insight, if a cat didn't drown in it first. Talonstone made a noise. Something similar to a grumble, which he supposed was meant to be a restrained laugh. Out of all the things, a toad? Better a toad than a frog, he supposed; they were larger and more filling. Should it ever happen, they could share the creature for a meal. Believe it or not, he had never tasted toad before. It seemed that they were delicacies in the shadows, just as thunder prided upon their squirrels... was Doetuft crying? Guardians, what had he done wrong this time? Wait - now she was laughing. Either that or she was choking. Ah... the frosty warrior cursed his lack of knowledge in emotions and mollies, then blinked in visible bemusement when Doetuft reached up to lick him. What had just...? Alright. Tears of joy, apparently. He hadn't known that cats actually did that. Wasn't it supposed to be just some phrase that an overdramatic queen made up? Apparently not. Now, it was time to react to the action. Doetuft had... licked him. It had happened before, so he shouldn't be so surprised. He was, though. It was surprising. At least the tabby seemed a bit embarrassed about it, so he wasn't the only one. Talonstone was a bit tempted to bury his head beneath his paws because while touching was okay, licking was... ah... still embarrassing. Not off limits; he didn't mind, not really. It was just... not something that he would be returning. Yet. He didn't particularly enjoy feeling flustered - well, he sort of did, but he sort of didn't and... Why was he even thinking about this? He had been a warrior for a grand total of one day, for guardians sake! One day and a quarter, actually, since the meeting had been during the afternoon, but still. Oh, whatever. Hopefully Doetuft didn't mind his tail, which was now curled around her because no way was he going to lick her back. Guardians, the molly was freezing. How did she not freeze to death during leafbare?