He was nervous. Oh, goodness, was Ruben nervous. Not about leaving behind the only life he knew, but ironically about telling someone he was about to do so. It seemed like the tom had known Hailey all his life, her being the first cat he'd met upon being taken to his new twolegs. The two had grown up together, experienced life together, and he'd never forget her. The molly meant so much to him, and he knew without a doubt that if he stayed behind rather than leave twolegplace, the two would have become more than what they were now. Hailey had been his first crush, and he'd spent quite the amount of time daydreaming about her. Now, however, things were different. He still cared for her- that was no secret to him, even if he struggled with showing it to the molly- but he no longer looked at his life with happiness. When it came down to it, life as a pet just wasn't satisfactory enough for the tom. He didn't want to become like his parents, having litter after litter only for them to be given away. He didn't want to stay here, either, and see the same old sights, the never-changing ways of the twolegs. No, he wanted to be a wild cat, out where he could see new things and experience new wonders. Along the way, he knew he'd fine what he was looking for, and that he'd have the perfect companion by his side.

As soon as Tove had agreed to leave with him, Ruben was ecstatic. He'd wanted to leave right away, but he could never do that without telling his childhood friend- and crush- that he was leaving. He knew the news would destroy Hailey, and that was what he was so nervous about coming here. But she'd be even more broken if he just vanished without telling her. The tom didn't want to leave the sweet molly wondering why he'd gone, leaving her without answers to her many questions he was sure she'd have for him. He wondered if she'd ask if he liked her. Oh, he sure hoped she wouldn't. Ruben didn't think he'd be able to look Hailey in the face and tell her that at one point, he'd even loved her, and then still leave her behind. In his mind, Tove's face popped back up. He might be leaving behind one potential romance, but he'd be leaving with another. Besides, Hailey deserved someone other than him, someone who'd be completely devoted and happy. If he stayed, he'd never be happy with his life, and he just couldn't do that to the molly- not when he cared so much for her. Looking up, he saw the molly he was so nervous to talk to and gave a small smile. She was here every day, and Ruben knew it was because she waited for him. Today, he'd be the first to greet her. Normally he waited for her to call out, just to make sure she was up for a chat. Right now, it didn't matter if she wanted to chat or not. He had to tell her something important. "Good day, Hailey," he called up, his nerves not showing in his clear voice. The tom hopped up onto her fence, making sure not to get too close. He wasn't sure the molly would want to be all cuddly and friendly with him once he broke the news to her. He still wasn't sure if he should tell her that Tove was coming with him or not. Of course, if Hailey asked this, he'd tell her the truth. He couldn't lie to her, not ever. Forcing a smile, he dipped his head as his greeting instead of pressing his cheek to hers, as he'd done so many times before. When he glanced up, he was sure his nervousness was visible in his eyes. He made sure to clear his throat before speaking again. "I've got some news for you."

He felt awful. Ruben could see that Hailey knew something was wrong, and she seemed devastated, especially so at his dip of the head. How foolish of him to think he'd be able to start off with a casual talk; of course the molly would pick up on his different emotions. They knew each other so well, after all, so she probably could tell as soon as she saw him. The two cats had been together for so long, it was no wonder they could read each other almost perfectly. Take right now, for instance. Ruben could see hurt, confusion, and maybe a bit of fear in Hailey's eyes. She was definitely not going to take the news lightly. He wondered if she'd freak out and start shouting at him, or if she'd simply be speechless. If he had to choose one over the other, he'd rather her be speechless than angry at him. He couldn't remember ever having Hailey mad at him- after all, Ruben always made sure not to anger her as he cared so much for the she-cat- and he wasn't looking forward to figuring out what it'd feel like. Anxiously, he shuffled on his paws, gaze dropping to the fence beneath their paws instead of looking her in the eyes. If he didn't make eye contact, maybe she wouldn't be able to read him as well.

The tom almost winced at her gentle touch. Her kindness and fond greeting almost destroyed him; he didn't deserve for Hailey to treat him this way, not when he was going to hurt her. He took in a deep breath, fighting the urge to let it out in a sigh, before he answered her. "Yes- yes, I'm alright. I'm not sick or anything. I'm more than alright, actually. Like, you'd never believe how past alright I am right now." He was rambling- he never rambled, what was getting into him?- and his rambling wasn't even making full sense. He peeked a glance up at the molly. Hailey was giving him an odd look. He quickly looked back down, though he realized now that by refusing to meet her gaze, she'd probably be able to think through what was going on even better. Or she'd start overthinking, like Ruben knew she often did. He realized she'd probably already come to the conclusion that there was someone else. The curling of her tail around him seemed to prove this even more, and the tom pressed his eyes closed. This was going to be even harder than he though it would be if she was going to go on being the sweet cat she was- the sweet cat he'd fallen for, once upon a time.

She deserves to be looked in the eye when you tell her, he scolded himself. Upon opening his eyes, he lifted his head and placed his gaze back on Hailey, taking in her face. She was as beautiful as ever, and he couldn't help the sadness the flickered into his gaze as he tried to press her face into his memory. He didn't ever want to forget this molly, or forget the ways she made him feel. Tove made him feel all sorts of ways, too, but not like with Hailey. Both she-cats were different, and his feelings for them- while ultimately having fond, romantic feelings for both- were still different. He suspected that feelings for any romantic partner would not be the same from cat to cat. It didn't mean he liked Tove any less than Hailey, or Hailey any less than Tove... it was just that each feeling was different, and while he enjoyed the way Hailey made him feel... Tove was the cat he needed in his life. She was who would travel the world with him. He understood that, but it didn't make leaving behind his childhood love any harder. Taking in a breath, Ruben decided to be upfront about what was happening. Hailey deserved the truth- the entire truth- after all. In that moment, he decided to tell her everything, including his feelings that he had for her, and likely always would have. He'd start off small, however, and work them up to the harder parts of the truth. "Hailey, I'm leaving." There. It was said, out there, and it couldn't be taken back. Ruben's gaze searched the molly's, trying to gauge her reaction.

(Oh my god this was even hard to type... I don't think he'll ever not love Hailey)