[Dizerel]

Originally Posted by spade

The fear in Junipersong's eyes... was delicious. Kestrelstar found himself wanting to drink it all in, let it resonate within him, fill him from ears to tail tip. The power that fear gave him, it kept cats in line. It kept him in power. Power. That's what he knew he needed in order to strike ThunderClan down. An army of those who followed him, who believed that justice would not be delivered unless it was at the claws of his Clan. He needed his cats under his control; they needed to unify to destroy ThunderClan, to... to -

For a moment, something inside the leader faltered. A misstep in the calculations of Blossomclaw's rigorous training. The endless nights in the shadowy forest, learning move after move until his pelt dripped with blood and each muscle ached and threatened to give out under him.

It was fleeting, there for just a moment in time and then... gone.

"Of course I deserve it. With everything I put up with? I never asked to be leader, no. I took the mantle after being leader when I was under the impression that Lionstorm would be here to fall back on if I needed it. But no!" Anger riled him up as the gray tabby shifted his gaze onto the den floor, swiping at it with unsheathed claws. The fur on his neck was raised, fangs barred. "Those murderous, fox-hearted crow-food eating squirrels had to take him away. And Fawnsqueak. And Firehawk. Peonypaw, Petuniaflame!." By now the leader's sides were heaving with each breath, ragged and uneven.

Turning now to lock his yellow gaze with the molly, Kestrelstar let out a laugh. Dark, yet melodic, and suddenly his fur lay flat and his composure returned to normal. "No harm will come to me. Or you. Or RiverClan. Ever again. The days of the other Clans pushing us around are over. I will contnue the strong Clan that Lionstorm built," he vowed, nodding along with what he said. "Now, are you with me, or are you against me?" What if Junipersong found it in her heart to sympathize with ThunderClan? What if she was working with them? Kestrelstar didn't want to make an example out of her, she was like family to him.

But sometimes even family couldn't be trusted.

She could feel her heart breaking. She saw it in him. The narcissistic, power hungry glare that often was used by all sorts of abusers. Rulers, leaders, and loved ones alike. Fear may be a good way to control people, but its still abuse, and hurts a relationship more than helps it, even if you are trying to scare someone into doing something good. Seeing it in his eyes was just shocking. Had all that power really gone to his head? Was he becoming one of the corrupt leaders, like told from the stories that elders pass down?

She felt like she was partially responsible for it. Her naïve nature leaving her vulnerable to this abuse, and instead of putting the blame on the abuser, it was all on herself. Even worse is that now she was determined to fix him, but she had no idea where to start. It was hard to think when her heart was pounding out of her chest, backed into a corner by him. Logic didn't work as good as it usually did when one was afraid.

Worst of all, she really wanted to speak out. To tell him to calm down. Think straight. Realize what he is doing is harmful to everyone around him and even himself. But the words wouldn't come to her mouth. She just stood there, mouth open, looking dumbfounded as much as she did frightened.

The mention of Petuniaflame really struck at her heartstrings. The pain from that loss was still recent. But what hurt even more was the loss of Kestrelstar. Him losing his sanity like this. She could barely even recognize him with how he was acting. Then it struck her. Exactly what to say. "No harm will come to us. But what is the price for that? What have you lost along the way?"

She didn't stop there. Standing all the way up again so that she was towering over him. No longer cowering against the wall, her whiskers mere inches from his. Even with her boost in confidence, her eyes still looked watery. "What have you become? I used to love you. I don't know who you are anymore. But I am with you. The real Kes that I know and love. The one that I know is deep down inside you. But I have no allegiance to this... thing that you have become. Its already so hard for me, trying to tell myself not to love you because I know you would be better with someone else but even then.... I want my friend back."

Holding back tears, standing proud in front of him. If wanting her best friend back was heresy then she would die for it.

(Power play permission to attack her)