@Moonraven
This day was a trial of ups and downs. So, the yawn was a bad habit. It wasn't something she needed to worry about, which was good. But why did she feel so nervous? Twilightstar was perhaps the only competent ruler in the four clans, yet Silentstorm was still hesitant to ask her questions. Why? She didn't know. Cats in power made her uncertain, like she was going to mess things up.
She could see the leaders face twist into confusion as she paced, but by the time she had finished, the lilac molly seemed to understand. She sagged out of her usual straight-backed posture as Twilightstar ran her tail up and down Silentstorms' back. It felt good to let it all out and tell someone how she felt, but she wasn't certain that the leader was the right person to vent to. "Sorry about that. It just... fell out." Sometimes when she started talking she just couldn't stop. It happened when Silentstorm least expected. When she was talking about one thing and something totally different fell out.
That certainly made sense. Silentstorm told herself that daily. It was like a mantra to her. 'It doesn't matter if you're different. You're still strong.' It was how she kept herself from breaking down in front of everyone, which was something she felt like doing a lot. "I don't mean to be like this. I work hard to show that I'm just like everyone else. Just," she paused and breathed, unsure of what to say. "I guess, my former apprentice messed up my mind set." Stupid Snakepaw- no Rabbitpaw. "He ran off for Shadowclan, and I guess I blamed myself." It was almost her fault. He called her weak, but he was the weak one if he thought running away mde him strong.
"I didn't come here so that you could ask me questions, you know." The joke was meant to lighten the mood, but then again, the answer to that question evaded her as well. "I- I don't really know." Her blue eyes locked on to the leaders single green one. "I guess I wanted to know what position I could benefit the most. I don't really know what Guardians or Tunnelers do, so I didn't want to make the choice myself. All I know is I want to do whatever I can benefit our clan the most with."