~ ROSEBRIAR ~
Rosebriar hated to admit it, but she was getting slightly more interested on what Stonemask was saying. Not interested. It was shocking that a Clanmate was trying so hard to make a wretch like her feel better. Had he liked her before? Had she retained some of her past dignity? But someone who looked like her… who didn’t have the full abilities of a normal cat… surely didn’t deserve love? She swallowed, hard. Did Stonemask’s words matter? She wasn’t sure…
He talked about disrespect, and Rosebriar had to think about that. She disrespected the Clanmates who deserved disrespect! Like the ones who couldn’t serve their Clan fully, or who looked ugly, or who hated on either her or her brother. Why should she treat cats like that with decency?
But now I am one of them. A pang of sadness struck her. She’d have to get used to living like this, wouldn’t she? Looking horrid? Would her mother or brother even talk to her anymore? Rosebriar swallowed.
Stonemask is right. I can’t go back. I have to keep going forward because I look terrible and there’s no going back… But she wouldn’t like it. She would never forget who she had once been.
Rosebriar tensed as his final words. Would her Clanmates respect her? No, they’d laugh at her for how she looked, especially since she had discriminated and belittled those who were like her now. And how dare he speak about her mother like that! Featherwhisker was the most perfect cat, and Rosebriar would deserve it if she came back to WindClan… only to leave her again. And she also thought of her brother, who’d been thinking a little… differently. She hadn’t seen him yet, though. Maybe he was busy, but why was he avoiding her?
“Thank you for your time,” she meowed quietly, her gaze falling to her paws.
“My mother is a wonderful cat, and beautiful as well. My Clanmates will just laugh at me for the irony. I hate those who can’t serve their Clan properly, or who look ugly. I’ve never honey-coated it. But now I am one of them. And I realize how much my Clanmates hate me. Without my beauty, I truly am nothing. You don’t know me; you wouldn’t understand. Now I know that I can’t change anything, though. I’ll just go forward even if they all hate me, and even though I look terrible. I hate cats like this, so why is it so hard to hate myself? I don’t know whether I should accept that I should be treated like them… or if I’m scared of myself now, and I don’t wanna be hurt like this.”
Rosebriar’s single-eyed gaze dropped, and she felt herself trembling.
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WinterRabbit5350