[spade]

Originally Posted by finnzel

@spade //

➸ daisybird

her walk back to camp had proven her hopes wrong. hawkkit wasn't okay. hawkkit was dead, and she wasn't sure what to do other than stumble her way towards the leaders den, sobbing and feeling bile rise in the back of her throat when she fully realized that she was carrying her kits corpse.

one kit missing, one kit dead. was she really that bad of a mother?

"ke-kestrelstar," daisybird choked out as she stepped a paw into the den, gently laying hawkkit on the ground. "hawkkit, shes..she's" she paused, feeling her legs shake. "dead." she whispered, chest tightening - what if greykit suffered the same fate? "and greykit..he's - he's missing..i just.." she didn't even know where he'd gone off to, if hawkkit had convinced him to follow her outside of camp, or if he just wandered off himself.

was she even meant to be a mother? was this her fault or just some terrible curse?

For once, Kestrelstar had managed to snag a few moments alone in his den. Despite the quite, still air that surrounded him, his mind was racing with thoughts. One right after the other. Zooming around like a dog hot on the trail of it's next victim. A small growl escaped through gritted teeth before the leader finally gave in and pushed himself to his paws.

The walls felt soo small, his nest too prickly. Something itched at his legs, but as he lifted his head to begin heading towards the exit of his den, a ball of grief hit him back like a wave.

Daisybird. The queen who often reminded him of Duskfall. The sadness that rolled off her locked his paws into place, and the scent of death reached him before the sight of Hawkkit.

Yellow eyes scanned the face of the queen, dulling the sound of her crying voice. The death of any Clanmate was a hard blow to deal with, but a kit... for as much as Kestrelstar disliked the hairballs, he didn't want any harm to come to them. They were future warriors of the Clan, the heart and soul of what kept a majority of his Clanmates going.

"She will be missed," he murmured, stepping forward to touch his nose lightly to the unmoving kit. Her body was beginning to become cold, and the leader couldn't bare it another second longer as he pulled back.

Bringing his gaze back up to the queens, he felt his heart break a little for her. "Hey. We'll find Graykit. I'll go looking for him myself." Hesitantly, the gray tabby stretched his neck forward to touch his nose softly to the top of Daisybird's head before pulling back. Yellow eyes filled with a rare sympathy that was usually reserved for Snakeheart, or his mother or half-brother... but right now, all he could see before him was a grieving mother. "This does not make you a bad queen, Daisybird. Stars, you've been raising half the kits in the nursery from what I hear. RiverClan is... I am lucky to have you in RiverClan."