[Dizerel]

Something was eating at Junipersong. It had been eating at her since the last time she was here in the Leader's den. Gazing into the empty den, Kestrelstar being absent. He was off, perhaps going to get guidance at the starcave, or just off to contemplate on his own. No matter the case, her life felt... empty. And it wasn't just the last twinge of residual romantic interest she had in him.

Even though she was the one that ended up getting injured, she felt as if she had betrayed her friend. She felt so conflicted choosing between what she believed in and her relationship with one of her dearest friends. Maybe if she had been wiser, she could have found a solution that appeased both. And no, that still didn't mean giving into her dark thoughts, which were plaguing her constantly since that day.

If she didn't do something, she was going to go crazy! But how could she do anything while he was gone? She probably spent a good half of a day just pacing in the clearing near his den, Finally, an idea popped into her head.

It was a long journey out to the beach. But it was worth it, in her eyes. She wasn't good at hunting, and Kes knew that, so hopefully it would make this gift a little more special. It took her until long into the night to finally find and then catch a crab. Prey that they had shared before during a special occasion. Trudging back towards the camp afterwards. She only made it halfway before passing out from the exhaustion. Come morning when she woke up out in the wild, she resumed her trek back. Arriving at camp, and bringing the crab right into Kestrelstar's den, to leave it there as a present. But.... the crab wouldn't last for long on its own. She had no idea how long he would be out.

So, she just set right back out to the beach. She would just keep going out, catching more crabs, going through the incredibly arduous process of dragging them all the way back to camp, and leaving them in the den. Its the whole reason crab was such a treat. You had to walk out such a far way to even be able to catch them, and you sort of had to eat them on the spot, since the weight of their shell made it extra painful to bring back to camp. It would take someone truly dedicated to bring a crab back. It would take someone stupid to bring back more than one.

The only time she ever ate was if one of the crabs she had left in the den spoiled. Eating the sour meat, to her own detriment. It was just her poor lack of self preservation kicking in. Snakeheart would have her ear if he knew she was doing this.

But she had to do it. She had to break the unbearable torment she suffered. Her normally lazy lifestyle left her with too much time to think. She slimmed up over the time spent doing this. Losing some of the fat that helped make her such a beefstick, and in the process, sharpened her hunting skills a bit more. All in the name of.... well she wasn't quite sure. She didn't know what the purpose of all this was. She guessed she just wanted Kes to feel welcomed when he got back. That he shouldn't beat himself up over what happened. Even though doing all of this was in a way Junipersong's way of beating herself up.