[poppy]

|open, though still trying to develop gray, so I may be a little messy ^^|

It was certainly quite lonely in the Clan. At least, it had been for as long as Graykit remembered. She was almost always left to her own devices, and one would think that being alone and neglected would make the young she-cat more... self sufficient, but it didn't. There was no true reason why, it was simply just because it never happened. Maybe because she was always waiting for her father to come visit her. The reason behind his inability to love her like other kit's fathers seemed to, she couldn't fathom. But she did know that she did not appreciate the loneliness, or the stares from the other queens whenever she limped around the nursery. She would look at them, and a strange humming sound would buzz in her ears, and she saw their lips moving sometimes, but they were always so quiet, and the little she-kit hadn't taken long to realize that a lot of cats could hear things and understand things that she couldn't. But whenever she tried to talk to them, in some crazy attempt to seem normal by their own standards, even though she heard her words nicely, at a nice volume and a good pronunciation, she still got strange and sometimes exasperated looks. It made no sense! But once, she had been close enough to a louder queen while she and her denmate gossiped, Graykit heard a couple names, and words. Not many registered, but she did remember hearing the name Copperkit.

Her brother.

She knew of him, but whatever became of him, she didn't know. She only remembered him beside her, or whom she believed to be him beside her, cold and still, and the large, warm body she lay against, she had woken up to it being stiff and cool. The other queens distorted, muffled wails around her, she remembered, and the firm grip that had picked her up. How hungry she had been. Learning later that the cat's beside her were family. Her mother and brother. But no one told her where they went! Because she hadn't seen them for a while. When she was discovered by the other queens, she had been unceremoniously dropped next to several other warm bodies, and she had had to fight for every drop of milk. It wasn't fun, and it was hard. But it... made her stronger, right?

No, not really. Fighting five other kittens for milk when they were twice your age and size, who could also SEE, and had four good, working paws, no that was plain unfair.

BUT, all of those depressing memories and reminiscences aside, the leaves were turning colors! From green to watm reds and vibrant oranges and sunny yellows. She could barely see the trees, because she had to stand at the highest point at camp *cough* on top of the warrior's den *cough*, standing on her tippy toes, then she could see the other Clan's territory, with beautiful, color changing oaks and sycamores and aspens. The pine forest looked nothing like the territory she imagined the rainbow forests to be. It was all dark and musty and stuffy, she always felt like she had heavy paws on her chest whenever she got too enclosed in one dark, cramped area. Even sitting in the nursery gave her panic attacks sometimes, another reason for those mean ol' queens to stare at her then whisper amongst themselves.

But the coniferous trees of ShadowClan territory had some serious perks. In leaf-bare (she knew this from an apprentice who actually wanted to talk to her eeee! She was actually being talked to sometimes!), the other Clan's territories get barren, naked and colorless, but ShadowClan's turf (that was an "apprentice word") looked super sweet in the leaf-bare, the pine needles on the ground a golden-red color, and the pine and cedar trees still full and green, the branches and ground dusted with the fluffy white powder of snow.

Oooooh, snow would be a beautiful name. Maybe her warrior name could be Graysnow. Ha, that sounded so cool! But... but snow wasn't gray. It wasn't her choice, anyways. Dawnstar got to choose, that lucky duck! Scampering around camp was usually her pastime, but today, she decided to try and skip. Skip. With three working paws, it would be interesting. She would look like a pigeon. Giggling softly to herself, the small gray kit hopped away from the nursery, glad to be away from it, if she was being honest. It wasn't very fun, but out here, everything was fun! WAIT A MIN- What if DAWNstar came and talked to her?! And then adopted Graykit as her own, raising her as the leader's own daughter. No one would tease her then!